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Advice, Bad, and Chill: please use protection when doing the do, maybe also don't have sex with murderers ao3tagoftheday: nyocanada15: ao3tagoftheday: infinty-forest: ao3tagoftheday: [Image Description: Tags reading “please use protection when doing the do, maybe also don’t have sex with murderers”] The AO3 Tag of the Day is: “Don’t have sex with murderers” is an important safe sex tip #mod ej#death#violence#wear condoms for fucks sake#and don’t have sex with murderers#I mean#if you insist on having sex with murderers#please wear a condom while doing so#or get the murderer to wear a condom#whichever is applicable#although fuck that internal condoms are a thing#and you personally are responsible for your sexual health#but even if condoms are involved#fucking murderers is still a bad idea#don’t do it#this has been an absurdist episode of#mod ej gives advice#submissionOP’s tags are always a gift. I just realized I left out a really important piece of information:Some murderers will try to persuade you to have sex with them. They may do this by murdering people while shirtless and listening to classical music. They may also describe the feeling of murdering someone in suspiciously sensual terms. Some murderers may tell you they are tortured by their inner demons and that only your love can keep them from continuing their bloody rampage. Do not be fooled! Do not have sex with them, even if they smile in a predatory yet irresistibly attractive way! You have a right to assert yourself in defense of your own sexual health! What the fuck MOD EJ Friend. What kind of blog do you think you’re following, my dude? Why the fuck would you think I’m sane, bro? I started an argument about corpses having casual sex. I looked up scientific articles about bat cunnilingus. I just finished making a shirt that says “Turtles Don’t Fuck.” I have no chill, buddy. I am not even in the vicinity of fucking around. When given the opportunity to be ridiculous, I don’t just take it, I grab it with both hands, shove it in my mouth, suck it till it comes down my throat, swallow, and then shit this bizarre fucking content right onto my keyboard and slam that motherfucking post button!So nyocanada15, my friend, my buddy. I don’t understand. Please explain this to me. Why is this gentle reminder to young people who might be manipulated into unsafe sexual behavior by murderers who can “see the darkness within them” or some shit like that—why is this your breaking point? Why is it only now that you stop and say “what the fuck mod ej”? Haven’t I earned that already!?
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Ass, Beautiful, and Booty: First night at home from the shelter. Reddit u/towntown1337 @DrSmashlove People ask me “aye smash what’s your type? What do u like in a girl?” Simple - I ain’t got no type. Anyone who says I do is lyin 🦁. I mean obviously from the captions u can see that there are things I like (skretch marks...above the booty dimples...thunderous thighs 🤤 lemme stop before I get hot and bothered.) But that don’t mean I don’t like thin women. I love them too. Equally. Girl if u don’t bring ya bony lil sensual grasshopper lookin a$$ and sit on this lap ol stick figure a$$ lmao wyd tho hangman lookin a$$ u cute tho lol handful of toothpicks with good hair lookin a$$ baby stop crying I’m playin with u why u gotta punch me ol legend of the slenderman lookin a$$ baby...baby why u choking me...baby? I kinda like this keep going HAHAHAHA LEMME STOP. Anyway like I said I ain’t got no type. Thicky thicc or slenderwomanous u all splendiferous. And that’s how I feel about doggies. I ain’t got no type. I understand people like different things. I don’t even blame people who go to breeders like I got close friends that’s done it and I’m not about to lecture anybody - they want a certain retriever or husky good for them. I don’t like puppy mills in my heart but I don’t judge. But as for me bruv a ratty lil mix breed rescue dog with a high pitch bark that sound like a child aggressively coughing? With them lil ass legs that allow him or her to run 700 miles per hour bruv? I love a crazy lil rescue mutt bruv he beautiful to me. But most important YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL FOR ADOPTING HIM OR HER - U A HERO. NOT A SMALL HERO BUT A BIG HERO - BLESS U - U WONDERFUL 😍❤️ [Editor’s Note: The reference to choking was made in jest and was merely intended to create literary interest. The author is from the hood. Consequently, I have built-in danger sensors. Wrap your hands around my throat and squeeze and u gon catcheth this fade. It be the petite lil joints that always wanna scrap too - don’t none of u lil grasshoppers DM me like “let me choke u zaddy ☺️” Imma leave u on ‘Seent’ ON PRINCIPLE. BLESS YA TINY LIL A$$ UP 😂😂😂]
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