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Beautiful, Community, and God: 21 Answers votes oldest newest You can't parse [X]HTML with regex. Because HTML can't be parsed by regex. Regex is not a tool that can be used to correctly parse HTML. As I have answered in HTML-and-regex questions here so many times before, the use of regex will not allow you to consume HTML. Regular expressions are a tool that is insufficiently sophisticated to understand the constructs employed by HTML. HTML is not a regular language and hence cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Regex queries are not equipped to break down HTML into its meaningful parts. so many times but it is not getting to me. Even enhanced irregular regular expressions as used by Perl are not up to the task of parsing HTML. You will never make me crack. HTML is a language of sufficient complexity that it cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Even Jon Skeet cannot parse HTML using regular expressions. Every time you attempt to parse HTML with regular expressions, the unholy child weeps the blood of virgins, and Russian hackers pwn your webapp. Parsing HTML with regex summons tainted souls into the realm of the living. HTML and regex go together like love, marriage, and ritual infanticide. The <center> cannot hold it is too late. The force of regex and HTML together in the same conceptual space will destroy your mind like so much watery putty. If you parse HTML with regex you are giving in to Them and their blasphemous ways which doom us all to inhuman toil for the One whose Name cannot be expressed in the Basic Multilingual Plane, he comes. HTML-plus-regexp will liquify the nerves of the sentient whilst you observe, your psyche withering in the onslaught of horror. Regex-based HTML parsers are the cancer that is killing StackOverflow it is too late it is too late we cannot be saved the trangession of a child ensures regex will consume all living tissue (except for HTML which it cannot, as previously prophesied) dear lord help us how can anyone survive this scourge using regex to parse HTML has doomed humanity to an eternity of dread torture and security holes using regex as a tool to process HTML establishes a breach between this world and the dread realm of čorrupt entities (like SGML entities, but more corrupt) a mere glimpse of the world of reg ex parsers for HTML will instantly transport a programmer's consciousness into a world of ceaseless screaming, he comes-the pestilent slithy regex-infection will devour your HTML parser, application and existence for all time like Vişual Basic only worse he comes he comes do not fight he comes, his uņholy radiance destroping all enlightenment, HTML tags leaking frọm your eyesiike liquid pain, the song of regular expression parsing-will extinguish the voices of mortal man from the sphere I can see it can you see t it is beautiful the f inal snuf fing of the lies of Man ALL ĮS LOSTALL IS LOST the pony he comes he comes hejcemes the ichor permeates al MY FACEFACEh god no NO NOOoo Ne stop the an ges aře not reâj ZALGO IS TON THË PONY, HECOMES 1811 Have you tried using an XML parser instead? link edit flag edited Nov 14 at 0:18 community wiki bobince regex and html
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Bubba, Clock, and Crying: writing-prompt-s You're in charge of assigning every child on Earth the monster under their bed One child in particular has caused every monster assigned to him/her to quit. You decide to assign yourself. kittenwiskers Case: #273402 Status: Disastrous I stare at the file and realize I have no options, over the last 2 years every monster assigned to Charlotte Dower has quit, every last one. Her first monster; a giant goldfish-faced humanoid named Bubba, had been with her for four years and then she wasn't scared of him anymore. After that it was a string of different common, uncommon, and rare monsters... I even assigned a sentient sock monster to her. He came back crying I look on my tablet, only one assignable monster left; myself. Field work has never been my cup of tea, but desperate times call for desperate measures. So at 8:03 pm, after Mrs. Gideon tucks in Charlotte and her little brother Daniel; I slither into the space beneath Charlotte's bed Across the room underneath Daniel's crib is a rookie, Chico, a standard Creep kind of monster. I turn my attention to the bed above me, Charlotte is still awake but barely, reach up over the bed and run an ice cold finger over her cheek, silence, so I do it again "I'm not afraid of you monster!" She whispers, but her voice is shaking. I can see a small clock on the wall 8:14, a door somewhere in the house slams and there is an audible hitch of breath from above me. A few minutes go by I can hear Francis Gideon yelling at his wife. There are heavy footsteps on the stairs, and loud panting breaths, Charlotte scrambles off the bed and.. She. CRAWLS. Under. The. Bed. With Me. "Move. Over!" Charlotte hisses at me. I The door to the bedroom slams open and I smell the stench of human intoxicants before the man even steps inside. I know why Charlotte isn't afraid of any of my monsters; she's afraid of her own. Francis reaches a hand under the bed and I thrust my wrist into it, he starts to pull, I slither out. "What the... I cut Francis's next words off by unfolding to my full 12 foot height. Looming over the drunken man I caress my cold fingers down his face. "If you ever touch, scare, or harm my child again, I will find you, and I will do the same to you, for all eternity." I promise to him As Francis runs from the room he soils himself. I pull Charlotte from under the bed, tuck her back under her covers and kiss her forehead goodnight. "l'll be back tomorrow night, sleep well darling." Charlotte Dower is my child, I am the monster under her bed funny.C awesomacious: A greatly written story

awesomacious: A greatly written story

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Bubba, Clock, and Crying: writing-prompt-s You're in charge of assigning every child on Earth the monster under their bed One child in particular has caused every monster assigned to him/her to quit. You decide to assign yourself. kittenwiskers Case: #273402 Status: Disastrous I stare at the file and realize I have no options, over the last 2 years every monster assigned to Charlotte Dower has quit, every last one. Her first monster; a giant goldfish-faced humanoid named Bubba, had been with her for four years and then she wasn't scared of him anymore. After that it was a string of different common, uncommon, and rare monsters... I even assigned a sentient sock monster to her. He came back crying I look on my tablet, only one assignable monster left; myself. Field work has never been my cup of tea, but desperate times call for desperate measures. So at 8:03 pm, after Mrs. Gideon tucks in Charlotte and her little brother Daniel; I slither into the space beneath Charlotte's bed Across the room underneath Daniel's crib is a rookie, Chico, a standard Creep kind of monster. I turn my attention to the bed above me, Charlotte is still awake but barely, reach up over the bed and run an ice cold finger over her cheek, silence, so I do it again "I'm not afraid of you monster!" She whispers, but her voice is shaking. I can see a small clock on the wall 8:14, a door somewhere in the house slams and there is an audible hitch of breath from above me. A few minutes go by I can hear Francis Gideon yelling at his wife. There are heavy footsteps on the stairs, and loud panting breaths, Charlotte scrambles off the bed and.. She. CRAWLS. Under. The. Bed. With Me. "Move. Over!" Charlotte hisses at me. I The door to the bedroom slams open and I smell the stench of human intoxicants before the man even steps inside. I know why Charlotte isn't afraid of any of my monsters; she's afraid of her own. Francis reaches a hand under the bed and I thrust my wrist into it, he starts to pull, I slither out. "What the... I cut Francis's next words off by unfolding to my full 12 foot height. Looming over the drunken man I caress my cold fingers down his face. "If you ever touch, scare, or harm my child again, I will find you, and I will do the same to you, for all eternity." I promise to him As Francis runs from the room he soils himself. I pull Charlotte from under the bed, tuck her back under her covers and kiss her forehead goodnight. "l'll be back tomorrow night, sleep well darling." Charlotte Dower is my child, I am the monster under her bed funny.C awesomacious: A greatly written story

awesomacious: A greatly written story

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Bubba, Clock, and Crying: writing-prompt-s You're in charge of assigning every child on Earth the monster under their bed One child in particular has caused every monster assigned to him/her to quit. You decide to assign yourself. kittenwiskers Case: #273402 Status: Disastrous I stare at the file and realize I have no options, over the last 2 years every monster assigned to Charlotte Dower has quit, every last one. Her first monster; a giant goldfish-faced humanoid named Bubba, had been with her for four years and then she wasn't scared of him anymore. After that it was a string of different common, uncommon, and rare monsters... I even assigned a sentient sock monster to her. He came back crying I look on my tablet, only one assignable monster left; myself. Field work has never been my cup of tea, but desperate times call for desperate measures. So at 8:03 pm, after Mrs. Gideon tucks in Charlotte and her little brother Daniel; I slither into the space beneath Charlotte's bed Across the room underneath Daniel's crib is a rookie, Chico, a standard Creep kind of monster. I turn my attention to the bed above me, Charlotte is still awake but barely, reach up over the bed and run an ice cold finger over her cheek, silence, so I do it again "I'm not afraid of you monster!" She whispers, but her voice is shaking. I can see a small clock on the wall 8:14, a door somewhere in the house slams and there is an audible hitch of breath from above me. A few minutes go by I can hear Francis Gideon yelling at his wife. There are heavy footsteps on the stairs, and loud panting breaths, Charlotte scrambles off the bed and.. She. CRAWLS. Under. The. Bed. With Me. "Move. Over!" Charlotte hisses at me. I The door to the bedroom slams open and I smell the stench of human intoxicants before the man even steps inside. I know why Charlotte isn't afraid of any of my monsters; she's afraid of her own. Francis reaches a hand under the bed and I thrust my wrist into it, he starts to pull, I slither out. "What the... I cut Francis's next words off by unfolding to my full 12 foot height. Looming over the drunken man I caress my cold fingers down his face. "If you ever touch, scare, or harm my child again, I will find you, and I will do the same to you, for all eternity." I promise to him As Francis runs from the room he soils himself. I pull Charlotte from under the bed, tuck her back under her covers and kiss her forehead goodnight. "l'll be back tomorrow night, sleep well darling." Charlotte Dower is my child, I am the monster under her bed funny.C A greatly written story

A greatly written story

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80s, Adam Driver, and Adam Sandler: NO ONE WILL WATCH THIS No ONE WANTS7 /S UL JUL CARES FOA THIS its-bewitched: trilllizard666: keyhollow:Story matters more than sex, please always remember that. what’s funniest about this comic, I think, is the wildly inconsistent success or complete lack of in the properties and the vast, wild differences between how they were received in the run up to the premier of them as artistic/entertainment propertiesFiegbusters/Ghostbusters 2016 had a PR run that was mostly defined by a weird antagonism where they said detractors are just manbaby basement dwellers that hate women, along with pretty badly done trailers that people compared to Pixels. Remember Pixels? That awful Adam Sandler REMEMBER THE 80S vehicle/scam? That said, unlike Pixels, this Ghostbusters failed to make money. It flopped. It flopped terribly. So Strawman McGee was actually right, Nobody DID Watch This, besides weirdoes that used Holtzmann reaction gifs for a month and kept saying how gay they were for two of the lady Ghostbusters.Star Wars: The Force Awakens was a huge runaway box office success with people excited to see it, even though a lot of people were critical of Rey and how boring she was as a character, in comparison to Finn and Poe, who had a lot more interesting going on with their characters, respectively, and people were excited to see The Last Jedi. Then came the sequel. It was…still a financial box office success, but it was extremely divisive among Star Wars fans and any group of critics that aren’t deeply entrenched “establishment” film critics. And there’s rumors abound it wasn’t quite AS much a box office success as Disney would like, which along with Solo flopping, seems to have resulted in Disney pulling back their Star Wars output a little tiny bit. Possibly.Literally all the reasons that people were apprehensive about Wonder Woman pre-release were all reasons unrelated to her being a woman. She’s one of the most important DC superheroes, a founding member of almost all incarnations of the Justice League, and Frank Miller himself has called part of The Trinity of DC, along with Superman and Batman. People were apprehensive of a Wonder Woman film because almost all the previous attempts to bring Wonder Woman to film or TV have been some sort of disaster, from the Joss Whedon script that leaked that everyone took the absolute piss out of (which had a seriously troubled production that led to the Wonder Woman film we eventually got), to the horrible pilot that makes Wonder Woman into a bizarrely inconsistent crazed murderer. People were apprehensive of a Wonder Woman film because it was part of the badly executed DCEU, with the previous films before this including BvS and Suicide Squad, which were critically SAVAGED. People were looking at a Wonder Woman and dreading it cause they were like “oh god not another one of these fucking awful films”. and then Justice League afterwards was total dogshit. and yeah, there was a bit of controversy about Gal Gadot, but that’s from a mixture of people not being sure she could actually act well enough because she was mostly a model and was in a Fast and Furious film before this, and because she is a proud IDF member, which is kinda controversial because of all the baggage that comes with what the Israeli military frequently does in terms of war crimes. (granted, she was only ever in a non combat role when she served in the military, but come on, this website gave Adam Driver shit for joining the USMC and not doing anything combat related before he got a medical discharge cause he broke his collarbone lmao). it had nothing to do with being a woman.Literally nobody cares about She-Ra except for weirdoes into it, like the beanmouth manchildren animation adherents or the people that uniroically think SJWs are killing everything, and it’s a cheaply made Netflix show. You’d have to almost try on purpose to not make any money from a Netflix show with a low/modest budget. Also I know a few families with young girls and young boys and nobody I know seems to remotely give a shit about the reboot She-Ra. It’s all weird teenagers, shippers, and the type of people that send death threats for people drawing boobs while beating meat to the catgirl in it getting with the main character.Captain Marvel is a box office success and reviewing decently well, but even the critics that like it are leveling criticisms towards how badly shot and done some of the fight scenes and long shots are, and a popular sentient is a lot of the fights have it so that it’s almost impossible to tell what’s happening, which isn’t a criticism unique to Captain Marvel. However, most people that were unthrilled about Captain Marvel before launch…Thought the trailer looked boring (gosh, that’s familiar), or were people raising an eyebrow at how the film’s basically Air Force propaganda. And it’s probably worth saying here, Captain Marvel, or Carol Danvers just isn’t that popular a character and isn’t popular in comics at all. Marvel flagrantly kept trying to astroturf her into an A lister position after they realized they had (at the time), sold off the film rights to a majority of the popular female characters. Most all their popular heroes and anti-heroes and villains that were female are in the X-Men, which was owned by Fox, or in other films in other studios. Cue the pre-Disney buyout reboot of her. Which flopped as a solo title, by the way. Notice how almost all the stuff with Ms Marvel/Danvers Captain Marvel that does well has her as a MEMBER or a side character. She’s a C-level character that came into existence, pre-retcon, because a superpowered Kree’s DNA got mixed with hers in an explosion. She was an emergency replacement, out of universe because of the Captain Marvel DC/Marvel clusterfuck and lawsuits. She’s less a character, and more a device. And this also easily fits under the “needlessly, weirdly antagonistic PR umbrella”nobody that can string together more than a comprehensible sentence does not dislike this things cause there’s women in it, trust me lmao The issue with captain marvel is RT deleting up to 50k reviews from fans that dislike the film. The headlines are “Brie Larson defeats internet trolls!” Calling fans trolls sure does a lot to discourage them from getting into a movie.
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Roomba, Giant, and Blood: SIP& GO THE FIT ake a int My local supermarket has a giant roomba. His name is Marty and he detects spills including the blood it will shed once it becomes sentient.

My local supermarket has a giant roomba. His name is Marty and he detects spills including the blood it will shed once it becomes sentient.

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Beautiful, God, and Love: You can't parse [X]HTML with regex. Because HTML can't be parsed by regex. Regex is not a tool that can be used to correctly parse HTML. As I have answered in HTML-and-regex questions here so many times before, the use of regex will not allow you to consume HTML. Regular expressions are a tool that is insufficiently sophisticated to understand the constructs employed by HTML. HTML is not a regular language and hence cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Regex queries are not equipped to break down HTML into its meaningful parts. so many times but it is not getting to me. Even enhanced irregular regular expressions as used by Perl are not up to the task of parsing HTML. You will never make me crack. HTML is a language of sufficient complexity that it cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Even Jon Skeet cannot parse HTML using regular expressions Every time you attempt to parse HTML with regular expressions, the unholy child weeps the blood of virgins, and Russian hackers pwn your webapp. Parsing HTML with regex summons tainted souls into the realm of the living. HTML and regex go together like love, marriage, and ritual infanticide The <center> cannot hold it is too late. The force of regex and HTML together in the same conceptual space will destroy your mind like so much watery putty. If you parse HTML with regex you are giving in to Them and their blasphemous ways which doom us all to inhuman toil for the One whose Name cannot be expressed in the Basic Multilingual Plane, he comes. HTML-plus regexp will liquify the neryes of the sentient whilst you observe, your psyche withering in the onslaught of horror. Regex-based HTML parsers are the cancer that is killing StackOverflow it is too late it is too late we cannot be saved the trangession of a child ensures regex will consume all living tissue (except for HTML which it cannot, as previously prophesied) dear lord help us how car anyone survive this scourge using regex to parse HTML has doomed humanity to an eternity of dread torture and security holes using regex as a tool to process HTML establishes a breach between this world and the dread realm of cörrupt entities (like SGML entities, but more corrupt) a mere glimpse of the world of regex parsers for HTML will instantly transport a programmer's consciousness into a world of ceaseless screaming, he comes,the pestilent slithy regex-infection wil I devour your HTML parser, application and existence for all time like Visual Bąsic only worse he comes he comes do not fight he comes, his unholy radiance destroying all enlightenment, HTML tags leakjng frqm your eyes/like liquid pain, the song of regular expressien parsing-will extinguish the voices of mortal man from the sphgre I can see it can you see i it is beautiful the f inal 4421 snuf fing of the lies of Man ALL IS LOST ALL IS LOST the pory he comes he comese comes tge ichor permeates all MY FACE MY F Fish god no NO NOOOO ΝΘ stop the anges . ạre not rea) ZALGo is TOM) THE PONY HEgOMES Unicöde
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Apparently, Beer, and Dude: Emily Holmes January 2 at 11:26 AM Liberal Friends, listen to this right now: Democratic Nominees are not clay pigeons I repeat. DEMOCRATIC NOMINEES ARE NOT CLAY PIGEONS But, Emily, whatever do you mean? What is this metaphor? It goes like this One by one, over the next couple of months, Democratic nominees are going to launch their official bids for President. They are going to launch themselves, one by one, into the sky, right into our line of vision Our job is not to shoot them. Our job is NOT, the second we see them cross the sky, to reach out for the gun being handed to us by conservatives (because duh, conservatives and guns) and take aim, and blast them, one by one out of the air, for not being absolutely perfect. Not likeable enough. BOOM Not an inspiring enough speaker. BOOM Said that awkward thing that one time. BOOM I wouldn't want to have a beer with them. BOOM Too old. BOOM. Too female. BOOM. Too white. BOOM Not a fucking flawless progressive superhero. BOOM Because what happens next? We shoot the candidates down. We degrade them. We belittle them. We smear them. Then we hand the gun to the media. They do the same. They hand the gun to the conservatives. They do the same. Then the bots start reloading. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM And then at the end of primary season, we have to pick up the shattered remains of whoever got the most votes and attempt to glue them back together into a candidate who can win the general election. And we will lose. Because we learned fucking NOTHING from 2016, apparently Trump didn't win because every conservative loves him. Most of them hate his fucking guts. But they held their noses and voted for him because he was the only way to push their agenda forward. And holy shit, have they pushed it. Despite his complete ineptitude, his bumbling, his gross incompetence, his blatant corruption, they have shoved through some really damaging policies that are hurting real people every single day, and they will continue to do so for as long as we let them So, here we are. You're not jazzed about Liz Warren? Awesome. Beto not your boy? Swell. Sick of Biden memes? Good for you, friend. Keep it to yourself. Why? Because EVERY SINGLE DEMOCRAT WHO RUNS IS INFINITELY BETTER FOR THE FUTURE OF OUR COUNTRY THAN THE FLAMING RACIST POPULIST TRASH CURRENTLY STEERING THIS COUNTRY DIRECTLY INTO THE SUN. I'm not sure if you noticed, but we already elected a guy based on a cult of personality rather than on whether he was qualified in any way to do the iob, and we're going to be putting out the flames for DECADES But what do we do instead, you ask? Watch debates. Compare platforms Be informed. Choose your favorite BASED ON REAL FACTUAL POLICIES AND EXPERIENCE, NOT ON YOUR DELICATE FEELINGS AND WHETHER YOU FEEL SUFFICIENTLY ENTERTAINED OR INEXPLICABLY HAPPY AT THE VERY SIGHT OF THEIR GLOWING FACE. Then get involved. Register people. Drive to the polls. Hold signs on street corners. Write postcards Knock on doors. Don't tell us why the other candidates suck, tell us why yours is THE BEST. Fight FOR them. Remember how we used to fight FOR things, rather than against them? I know Trump makes it hard to remember, but I promise, that's a thing we used to know how to do Then we all, collectively, wholeheartedly, throw our weight and energy and voice behind whoever gets the nomination. If we do that, we win. Period It's not a question of who can beat Trump, don't you get it? A sentient fucking houseplant with a liberal platform could beat Trump, if we do this right. It's a question of whether WE can beat him, or would we rather tear ourselves apart? Look around you, folks. The stock market is in free-fall. Our international reputation is in tatters. Our foreign policy is for sale to dictators. Our free press is under daily attack. Our Supreme Court is one conservative white dude away from full-on Gilead, and we can't keep asking an 84-year-old woman recovering from broken ribs and a third bout of cancer to hang on for six more years because we can't get our heads out of our own asses. I mean, she'll do it, obviously, because RBG is a BOSS, but she shouldn't have to. I repeat. This is not a test of our candidates. There are lots of good, solid options. It's a test of US. Of OUR ability to unite. Of OUR strength. Of OUR ability to put aside selfish arbitrary purity tests and scales of "likeability" and to just FUCKING GET IT DONE. We don't need the perfect candidate to rescue us. We need to realize that we can rescue ourselves So, how about it, Resistance? They want us to forget that we have the numbers, the motivation, and the power. They want us to implode. Let's explode instead, and leave nothing but a charred ruin of this nightmare administration in our wake. BOOM 1.4K Comments 6.7K Shares onceuponamirror: helenofhere: snarksandkisses: Also good to keep THIS SHIT in mind: This is the most important post on this platform since early 2016. WE ARE NOT FUCKING IT UP TWICE. DO NOT LET PROPAGANDA AND MANIPULATION DIVIDE US AGAINST GETTING THIS MONSTER OUT. thanks
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Apparently, Beer, and Dude: Emily Holmes January 2 at 11:26 AM Liberal Friends, listen to this right now: Democratic Nominees are not clay pigeons I repeat. DEMOCRATIC NOMINEES ARE NOT CLAY PIGEONS But, Emily, whatever do you mean? What is this metaphor? It goes like this One by one, over the next couple of months, Democratic nominees are going to launch their official bids for President. They are going to launch themselves, one by one, into the sky, right into our line of vision Our job is not to shoot them. Our job is NOT, the second we see them cross the sky, to reach out for the gun being handed to us by conservatives (because duh, conservatives and guns) and take aim, and blast them, one by one out of the air, for not being absolutely perfect. Not likeable enough. BOOM Not an inspiring enough speaker. BOOM Said that awkward thing that one time. BOOM I wouldn't want to have a beer with them. BOOM Too old. BOOM. Too female. BOOM. Too white. BOOM Not a fucking flawless progressive superhero. BOOM Because what happens next? We shoot the candidates down. We degrade them. We belittle them. We smear them. Then we hand the gun to the media. They do the same. They hand the gun to the conservatives. They do the same. Then the bots start reloading. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM And then at the end of primary season, we have to pick up the shattered remains of whoever got the most votes and attempt to glue them back together into a candidate who can win the general election. And we will lose. Because we learned fucking NOTHING from 2016, apparently Trump didn't win because every conservative loves him. Most of them hate his fucking guts. But they held their noses and voted for him because he was the only way to push their agenda forward. And holy shit, have they pushed it. Despite his complete ineptitude, his bumbling, his gross incompetence, his blatant corruption, they have shoved through some really damaging policies that are hurting real people every single day, and they will continue to do so for as long as we let them So, here we are. You're not jazzed about Liz Warren? Awesome. Beto not your boy? Swell. Sick of Biden memes? Good for you, friend. Keep it to yourself. Why? Because EVERY SINGLE DEMOCRAT WHO RUNS IS INFINITELY BETTER FOR THE FUTURE OF OUR COUNTRY THAN THE FLAMING RACIST POPULIST TRASH CURRENTLY STEERING THIS COUNTRY DIRECTLY INTO THE SUN. I'm not sure if you noticed, but we already elected a guy based on a cult of personality rather than on whether he was qualified in any way to do the iob, and we're going to be putting out the flames for DECADES But what do we do instead, you ask? Watch debates. Compare platforms Be informed. Choose your favorite BASED ON REAL FACTUAL POLICIES AND EXPERIENCE, NOT ON YOUR DELICATE FEELINGS AND WHETHER YOU FEEL SUFFICIENTLY ENTERTAINED OR INEXPLICABLY HAPPY AT THE VERY SIGHT OF THEIR GLOWING FACE. Then get involved. Register people. Drive to the polls. Hold signs on street corners. Write postcards Knock on doors. Don't tell us why the other candidates suck, tell us why yours is THE BEST. Fight FOR them. Remember how we used to fight FOR things, rather than against them? I know Trump makes it hard to remember, but I promise, that's a thing we used to know how to do Then we all, collectively, wholeheartedly, throw our weight and energy and voice behind whoever gets the nomination. If we do that, we win. Period It's not a question of who can beat Trump, don't you get it? A sentient fucking houseplant with a liberal platform could beat Trump, if we do this right. It's a question of whether WE can beat him, or would we rather tear ourselves apart? Look around you, folks. The stock market is in free-fall. Our international reputation is in tatters. Our foreign policy is for sale to dictators. Our free press is under daily attack. Our Supreme Court is one conservative white dude away from full-on Gilead, and we can't keep asking an 84-year-old woman recovering from broken ribs and a third bout of cancer to hang on for six more years because we can't get our heads out of our own asses. I mean, she'll do it, obviously, because RBG is a BOSS, but she shouldn't have to. I repeat. This is not a test of our candidates. There are lots of good, solid options. It's a test of US. Of OUR ability to unite. Of OUR strength. Of OUR ability to put aside selfish arbitrary purity tests and scales of "likeability" and to just FUCKING GET IT DONE. We don't need the perfect candidate to rescue us. We need to realize that we can rescue ourselves So, how about it, Resistance? They want us to forget that we have the numbers, the motivation, and the power. They want us to implode. Let's explode instead, and leave nothing but a charred ruin of this nightmare administration in our wake. BOOM 1.4K Comments 6.7K Shares snarksandkisses: Also good to keep THIS SHIT in mind:
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Apparently, Beer, and Dude: Emily Holmes January 2 at 11:26 AM Liberal Friends, listen to this right now: Democratic Nominees are not clay pigeons I repeat. DEMOCRATIC NOMINEES ARE NOT CLAY PIGEONS But, Emily, whatever do you mean? What is this metaphor? It goes like this One by one, over the next couple of months, Democratic nominees are going to launch their official bids for President. They are going to launch themselves, one by one, into the sky, right into our line of vision Our job is not to shoot them. Our job is NOT, the second we see them cross the sky, to reach out for the gun being handed to us by conservatives (because duh, conservatives and guns) and take aim, and blast them, one by one out of the air, for not being absolutely perfect. Not likeable enough. BOOM Not an inspiring enough speaker. BOOM Said that awkward thing that one time. BOOM I wouldn't want to have a beer with them. BOOM Too old. BOOM. Too female. BOOM. Too white. BOOM Not a fucking flawless progressive superhero. BOOM Because what happens next? We shoot the candidates down. We degrade them. We belittle them. We smear them. Then we hand the gun to the media. They do the same. They hand the gun to the conservatives. They do the same. Then the bots start reloading. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM And then at the end of primary season, we have to pick up the shattered remains of whoever got the most votes and attempt to glue them back together into a candidate who can win the general election. And we will lose. Because we learned fucking NOTHING from 2016, apparently Trump didn't win because every conservative loves him. Most of them hate his fucking guts. But they held their noses and voted for him because he was the only way to push their agenda forward. And holy shit, have they pushed it. Despite his complete ineptitude, his bumbling, his gross incompetence, his blatant corruption, they have shoved through some really damaging policies that are hurting real people every single day, and they will continue to do so for as long as we let them So, here we are. You're not jazzed about Liz Warren? Awesome. Beto not your boy? Swell. Sick of Biden memes? Good for you, friend. Keep it to yourself. Why? Because EVERY SINGLE DEMOCRAT WHO RUNS IS INFINITELY BETTER FOR THE FUTURE OF OUR COUNTRY THAN THE FLAMING RACIST POPULIST TRASH CURRENTLY STEERING THIS COUNTRY DIRECTLY INTO THE SUN. I'm not sure if you noticed, but we already elected a guy based on a cult of personality rather than on whether he was qualified in any way to do the iob, and we're going to be putting out the flames for DECADES But what do we do instead, you ask? Watch debates. Compare platforms Be informed. Choose your favorite BASED ON REAL FACTUAL POLICIES AND EXPERIENCE, NOT ON YOUR DELICATE FEELINGS AND WHETHER YOU FEEL SUFFICIENTLY ENTERTAINED OR INEXPLICABLY HAPPY AT THE VERY SIGHT OF THEIR GLOWING FACE. Then get involved. Register people. Drive to the polls. Hold signs on street corners. Write postcards Knock on doors. Don't tell us why the other candidates suck, tell us why yours is THE BEST. Fight FOR them. Remember how we used to fight FOR things, rather than against them? I know Trump makes it hard to remember, but I promise, that's a thing we used to know how to do Then we all, collectively, wholeheartedly, throw our weight and energy and voice behind whoever gets the nomination. If we do that, we win. Period It's not a question of who can beat Trump, don't you get it? A sentient fucking houseplant with a liberal platform could beat Trump, if we do this right. It's a question of whether WE can beat him, or would we rather tear ourselves apart? Look around you, folks. The stock market is in free-fall. Our international reputation is in tatters. Our foreign policy is for sale to dictators. Our free press is under daily attack. Our Supreme Court is one conservative white dude away from full-on Gilead, and we can't keep asking an 84-year-old woman recovering from broken ribs and a third bout of cancer to hang on for six more years because we can't get our heads out of our own asses. I mean, she'll do it, obviously, because RBG is a BOSS, but she shouldn't have to. I repeat. This is not a test of our candidates. There are lots of good, solid options. It's a test of US. Of OUR ability to unite. Of OUR strength. Of OUR ability to put aside selfish arbitrary purity tests and scales of "likeability" and to just FUCKING GET IT DONE. We don't need the perfect candidate to rescue us. We need to realize that we can rescue ourselves So, how about it, Resistance? They want us to forget that we have the numbers, the motivation, and the power. They want us to implode. Let's explode instead, and leave nothing but a charred ruin of this nightmare administration in our wake. BOOM 1.4K Comments 6.7K Shares heatheralicewatson: snarksandkisses: Also good to keep THIS SHIT in mind: You can have a favorite in the primaries, and even make a passionate case for your favorite, without drilling down on why the other candidates are monsters. You really truly can.
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Apparently, Beer, and Dude: Emily Holmes January 2 at 11:26 AM Liberal Friends, listen to this right now: Democratic Nominees are not clay pigeons I repeat. DEMOCRATIC NOMINEES ARE NOT CLAY PIGEONS But, Emily, whatever do you mean? What is this metaphor? It goes like this One by one, over the next couple of months, Democratic nominees are going to launch their official bids for President. They are going to launch themselves, one by one, into the sky, right into our line of vision Our job is not to shoot them. Our job is NOT, the second we see them cross the sky, to reach out for the gun being handed to us by conservatives (because duh, conservatives and guns) and take aim, and blast them, one by one out of the air, for not being absolutely perfect. Not likeable enough. BOOM Not an inspiring enough speaker. BOOM Said that awkward thing that one time. BOOM I wouldn't want to have a beer with them. BOOM Too old. BOOM. Too female. BOOM. Too white. BOOM Not a fucking flawless progressive superhero. BOOM Because what happens next? We shoot the candidates down. We degrade them. We belittle them. We smear them. Then we hand the gun to the media. They do the same. They hand the gun to the conservatives. They do the same. Then the bots start reloading. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM And then at the end of primary season, we have to pick up the shattered remains of whoever got the most votes and attempt to glue them back together into a candidate who can win the general election. And we will lose. Because we learned fucking NOTHING from 2016, apparently Trump didn't win because every conservative loves him. Most of them hate his fucking guts. But they held their noses and voted for him because he was the only way to push their agenda forward. And holy shit, have they pushed it. Despite his complete ineptitude, his bumbling, his gross incompetence, his blatant corruption, they have shoved through some really damaging policies that are hurting real people every single day, and they will continue to do so for as long as we let them So, here we are. You're not jazzed about Liz Warren? Awesome. Beto not your boy? Swell. Sick of Biden memes? Good for you, friend. Keep it to yourself. Why? Because EVERY SINGLE DEMOCRAT WHO RUNS IS INFINITELY BETTER FOR THE FUTURE OF OUR COUNTRY THAN THE FLAMING RACIST POPULIST TRASH CURRENTLY STEERING THIS COUNTRY DIRECTLY INTO THE SUN. I'm not sure if you noticed, but we already elected a guy based on a cult of personality rather than on whether he was qualified in any way to do the iob, and we're going to be putting out the flames for DECADES But what do we do instead, you ask? Watch debates. Compare platforms Be informed. Choose your favorite BASED ON REAL FACTUAL POLICIES AND EXPERIENCE, NOT ON YOUR DELICATE FEELINGS AND WHETHER YOU FEEL SUFFICIENTLY ENTERTAINED OR INEXPLICABLY HAPPY AT THE VERY SIGHT OF THEIR GLOWING FACE. Then get involved. Register people. Drive to the polls. Hold signs on street corners. Write postcards Knock on doors. Don't tell us why the other candidates suck, tell us why yours is THE BEST. Fight FOR them. Remember how we used to fight FOR things, rather than against them? I know Trump makes it hard to remember, but I promise, that's a thing we used to know how to do Then we all, collectively, wholeheartedly, throw our weight and energy and voice behind whoever gets the nomination. If we do that, we win. Period It's not a question of who can beat Trump, don't you get it? A sentient fucking houseplant with a liberal platform could beat Trump, if we do this right. It's a question of whether WE can beat him, or would we rather tear ourselves apart? Look around you, folks. The stock market is in free-fall. Our international reputation is in tatters. Our foreign policy is for sale to dictators. Our free press is under daily attack. Our Supreme Court is one conservative white dude away from full-on Gilead, and we can't keep asking an 84-year-old woman recovering from broken ribs and a third bout of cancer to hang on for six more years because we can't get our heads out of our own asses. I mean, she'll do it, obviously, because RBG is a BOSS, but she shouldn't have to. I repeat. This is not a test of our candidates. There are lots of good, solid options. It's a test of US. Of OUR ability to unite. Of OUR strength. Of OUR ability to put aside selfish arbitrary purity tests and scales of "likeability" and to just FUCKING GET IT DONE. We don't need the perfect candidate to rescue us. We need to realize that we can rescue ourselves So, how about it, Resistance? They want us to forget that we have the numbers, the motivation, and the power. They want us to implode. Let's explode instead, and leave nothing but a charred ruin of this nightmare administration in our wake. BOOM 1.4K Comments 6.7K Shares snarksandkisses: Also good to keep THIS SHIT in mind:
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Bubba, Clock, and Crying: writing-prompt-s You're in charge of assigning every child on Earth the monster under their bed. One child in particular has caused every monster assigned to him/her to quit. You decide to assign yourself. kittenwiskers Case: #273402 Status: Disastrous. I stare at the file and realize I have no options, over the last 2 years every monster assigned to Charlotte Dower has quit, every last one. Her first monster; a giant goldfish-faced humanoid named Bubba, had been with her for four years and then she wasn't scared of him anymore. After that it was a string of different common, uncommon, and rare monsters... I even assigned a sentient sock monster to her. He came back crying! I look on my tablet, only one assignable monster left; myself. Field work has never been my cup of tea, but desperate times call for desperate measures. So at 8:03 pm, after Mrs. Gideon tucks in Charlotte and her little brother Daniel; I slither into the space beneath Charlotte's bed Across the room underneath Daniel's crib is a rookie, Chico, a standard Creep kind of monster. I turn my attention to the bed above me, Charlotte is still awake but barely, I reach up over the bed and run an ice cold finger over her cheek, silence, so I do it gain. "I'm not afraid of you monster!" She whispers, but her voice is shaking. I can see a small clock on the wall 8:14, a door somewhere in the house slams and there is an audible hitch of breath from above me. A few minutes go by I can hear Francis Gideon yelling at his wife. There are heavy footsteps on the stairs, and loud panting breaths, Charlotte scrambles off the bed and... She. CRAWLS. Under. The. Bed. With. Me. "Move. Over!" Charlotte hisses at me.I do. The door to the bedroom slams open and I smell the stench of human intoxicants before the man even steps inside. I know why Charlotte isn't afraid of any of my monsters; she's afraid of her own. Francis reaches a hand under the bed and I thrust my wrist into it, he starts to pull, I slither out. "What the..." I cut Francis's next words off by unfolding to my full 12 foot height. Looming over the drunken man I caress my cold fingers down his face. "If you ever touch, scare, or harm my child again, I will find you, and I will do the same to you, for all eternity." I promise to him. As Francis runs from the room he soils himself. I pull Charlotte from under the bed, tuck her back under her covers and kiss her forehead goodnight. "I'll be back tomorrow night, sleep well darling." Charlotte Dower is my child, I am the monster under her bed. The Monster Under the Bed

The Monster Under the Bed

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Beautiful, God, and Love: You can't parse [X]HTML with regex. Because HTML can't be parsed by regex. Regex is not a tool that can be used to correctly parse HTML. As I have answered in HTML-and-regex questions here so many times before, the use of regex will not allow you to consume HTML. Regular expressions are a tool that is insufficiently sophisticated to understand the constructs employed by HTML. HTML is not a regular language and hence cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Regex queries are not equipped to break down HTML into its meaningful parts. so many times but it is not getting to me. Even enhanced irregular regular expressions as used by Perl are not up to the task of parsing HTML. You will never make me crack. HTML is a language of sufficient complexity that it cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Even Jon Skeet cannot parse HTML using regular expressions. Every time you attempt to parse HTML with regular expressions, the unholy child weeps the blood of virgins, and Russian hackers pwn your webapp. Parsing HTML with regex summons tainted souls into the realm of the living. HTML and regex go together like love, marriage, and ritual infanticide The <center> cannot hold it is too late. The force of regex and HTML together in the same conceptual space will destroy your mind like so much watery putty. If you parse HTML with regex you are giving in to Them and their blasphemous ways which doom us all to inhuman toil for the One whose Name cannot be expressed in the Basic Multilingual Plane, he comes. HTML-plus regexp will liquify the neryes of the sentient whilst you observe, your psyche withering in the onslaught of horror. Regēx-based HTML parsers are the cancer that is killing StackOverflow it is too late it is too late we cannot be saved the trangession of a child ensures regex will consume all living tissue (except for HTML which it cannot, as previously prophesied) dear lord help us how can anyone survive this scourge using regex to parse HTML has doomed humanity to an eternity of dread torture and security holes using regex as a tool to process HTML establishes a breach between this world and the dread realm of corrupt entities (like SGML entities, but more corrupt) a mere glimpse of the world of regex parsers for HTML will instantly transport a programmer's consciousness into a world of ceaseless screaming, he comes, the pestilent-slithy regex-infection wil I devour your HTML parser, application and existence for all time like Visual Basic only worse he comes he comes do not fight he comøs, his unholy radiañcé destroying all enlightenment, HTML tags leaking from your eyeslike liquid pain, the song of regular expressien parsing-will extinguish the voices of mortal man from the sphgre I can see it can you see ft it is beautiful the f inal snuf fing of the lies of Man ALL ISLOSTALL IS LOST the pony h comes he com t egichor permeates al My FACE tyEACE b god no NO NOOOO NO stop the an les are not 4422 DA Have you tried using an XML parser instead? How do I replace XHTML tags with RegEx?
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Crying, Facebook, and Friends: Open Question Show me another Parents want to kick me out of the house!? My mom was cleaning my room and my safe was left open by mistake and she found about 40 dickgit hentai comics I had paid around a thousand doliars for as well as signed headshots of my favorite pornstars and threw them in the garbagelll And sald she had never been so disgusted in her life and that I need to get a social life In revenge I logged into her facebook account (autosave passwords ftw) and went hogwild, I posted on a pic of her violin students boyfriend "mmm he's a hottie! I wanna suck his cock" and sent a long and filthy letter to a guy she went to highschool with about how she hated my father and all the screwed up sexual things she wanted to do to him. I basically spent 3 hours vulgarly insulting and coming on to all her friends and posting lewd comments on their pics and status I figured my mom would basically go touche and consider it tit for tat after what she did, but she FREAKED OUT and broke down crying when she saw what I did, She personally apologized to EVERY single one of her friends when she could have just made a "My son has a werid sense of humor, sorry guys!" status update. Now she wants to kick me out of the housel Fm 31 and have never had a job, what the hell am supposed to do? Is there any way I can smooth this over? Make her breakfast in bed or something77277 Heipli hours ag0-4 days left to answer Answer Question happydurazno: polymorphic-sentient-space-rocks: tervbangs: kys
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50 Cent, Bad, and Dude: HO ME I S CALLIN G O N LY-IN THEATERS DECEMBER 21 EXPERIENCE IT INIMAX REALD 3D DIDOLBY CINEMA <p><a href="https://more-snatched-photos.tumblr.com/post/175995967345/khuckabee3-more-snatched-photos" class="tumblr_blog">more-snatched-photos</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://khuckabee3.tumblr.com/post/175995952602/more-snatched-photos-khuckabee3" class="tumblr_blog">khuckabee3</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="https://more-snatched-photos.tumblr.com/post/175995925295/khuckabee3-more-snatched-photos" class="tumblr_blog">more-snatched-photos</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://khuckabee3.tumblr.com/post/175995909557/more-snatched-photos-khuckabee3" class="tumblr_blog">khuckabee3</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="https://more-snatched-photos.tumblr.com/post/175995887830/khuckabee3-more-snatched-photos" class="tumblr_blog">more-snatched-photos</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://khuckabee3.tumblr.com/post/175995867897/more-snatched-photos-khuckabee3" class="tumblr_blog">khuckabee3</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="https://more-snatched-photos.tumblr.com/post/175995833080/khuckabee3-more-snatched-photos" class="tumblr_blog">more-snatched-photos</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://khuckabee3.tumblr.com/post/175995721947/more-snatched-photos-khuckabee3" class="tumblr_blog">khuckabee3</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="https://more-snatched-photos.tumblr.com/post/175995677050/khuckabee3-more-snatched-photos" class="tumblr_blog">more-snatched-photos</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://khuckabee3.tumblr.com/post/175995664552/more-snatched-photos-khuckabee3" class="tumblr_blog">khuckabee3</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="https://more-snatched-photos.tumblr.com/post/175995643835/khuckabee3-more-snatched-photos" class="tumblr_blog">more-snatched-photos</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://khuckabee3.tumblr.com/post/175995631407/more-snatched-photos-khuckabee3" class="tumblr_blog">khuckabee3</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="https://more-snatched-photos.tumblr.com/post/175995587415/khuckabee3-more-snatched-photos" class="tumblr_blog">more-snatched-photos</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://khuckabee3.tumblr.com/post/175995567737/more-snatched-photos-khuckabee3" class="tumblr_blog">khuckabee3</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="https://more-snatched-photos.tumblr.com/post/175995459060/khuckabee3-more-snatched-photos" class="tumblr_blog">more-snatched-photos</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://khuckabee3.tumblr.com/post/175995448017/more-snatched-photos-nunyabizni" class="tumblr_blog">khuckabee3</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="https://more-snatched-photos.tumblr.com/post/175994932820/nunyabizni-the-mighty-birdy-intjint" class="tumblr_blog">more-snatched-photos</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="https://nunyabizni.tumblr.com/post/175994887527/the-mighty-birdy-intjint-the-mighty-birdy" class="tumblr_blog">nunyabizni</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://the-mighty-birdy.tumblr.com/post/175994588328/intjint-the-mighty-birdy-libertarirynn-i" class="tumblr_blog">the-mighty-birdy</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="https://intjint.tumblr.com/post/175994547756/the-mighty-birdy-libertarirynn-i-can-already" class="tumblr_blog">intjint</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://the-mighty-birdy.tumblr.com/post/175994319788/libertarirynn-i-can-already-taste-the-suck-i" class="tumblr_blog">the-mighty-birdy</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://libertarirynn.tumblr.com/post/175994298949/i-can-already-taste-the-suck-i-literally-thought" class="tumblr_blog">libertarirynn</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>I can already taste the suck. I literally thought this was a fanmade poster it’s so bad.</p></blockquote> <p>It will indeed suck. But I will be seeing it.</p> <p><br/></p> <p>Because I care very deeply about….. Aquaman </p> </blockquote> <p>Birdy is being in heat on main</p> </blockquote> <p>I’m not being horny on main I just really like Aquaman as a character ok</p> </blockquote> <p>I understand Birdy, men can’t be sexualized in the media and they need to understand that you are just there for character development and a good story</p></blockquote> <p>I genuinely enjoyed Justice League so fuck off with the hate, I’m gonna enjoy this. Also, Birdy is horny as fuck on main.</p></blockquote> <p>I’m sorry you have shitty movie taste</p></blockquote> <p>I like a lot of shitty movies.</p></blockquote> <p>Go watch rubber </p></blockquote> <p>I have rubber tires</p></blockquote> <p>Are they sentient and do they blow up your head</p></blockquote> <p>They are not sentient but if one were to randomly explode and my head were close enough then it’s possible I could die.</p></blockquote> <p>Doesn’t count. Has to do it via telepathic powers.</p></blockquote> <p>I’ll keep an eye on them anyway.</p></blockquote> <p>That’s not a bad idea</p></blockquote> <p>They have been known to randomly explode so yeah</p></blockquote> <p>Dude… quit buying used tires off the 50 cent rack</p></blockquote> <p>I buy new Michelin tires for $600 each. Truck tires just explode sometimes.</p></blockquote> <p>Best upgrade to them 700 dollar tires then.</p></blockquote> <p>They explode too. It’s not the tires but the weight being put on them.</p></blockquote> <p>That there sounds like a personal problem. </p></blockquote> <p>I mean if y’all would quit buying food it wouldn’t be an issue for me.</p></blockquote> <p>I feel like we got off track 🤔</p>
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