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Af, Ass, and Austin Powers: Needless to say, I didn't move for a while See bruh if u send a sexy pic of yourself to a girl it's three possible responses: (1) "cute". Fire this woman 😁...No offense but u don't need this type of negativity in yo life bruh πŸ˜‚. (2) "OMG daddy I need you 😍." She a keeper. That's a good woman. (3) "K. How many other girls got this? Curious πŸ€”." <- wife. This is your wife, u found her bruh πŸ˜‚. U feel me? She protecc. Like the flood waters coming, she gon rip the refrigerator door off the fridge and use it as a raft. She gon paddle your babies to safety. U gon call her from a business trip to NY like "baby u ok I seen the news" and she gon be like "NO I'M NOT OK MF I GOT *YOUR* LOOKIN ASS KIDS TRYINA PADDLE TO SAFETY BC U AIN'T HERE AND EVERY TIME I LOOK AT THEIR FUCKING FACE I GET TIGHT BC I CAN'T BELIEVE I LET U GET ME PREGNANT AND THEN LEAVE ME IN A FLOOD WE'LL DISCUSS LATER BYE." This type of woman will punch u in the face when u wake up for no reason. U sipping a Intelligentsia Black Cat Espresso happy go lucky af ready to take on the day and she walk right up to u with her hair fucked up and punch u exactly in the nose to where yo septum deviate. Yo septum was good AF now it's crooked like Austin Powers teeth lol. And u like "baby??" And she like "YOU CHEATED ON ME IN MY DREAM. WITH A BLOND BITCH. AS I SUSPECTED. MOTHER πŸ‘ FUCKER πŸ‘. BEEN TOLD U. U LIKE BLONDS SO MUCH? GO FIND A BLOND, THEY GROW ON TREES. DON'T WASTE MY MF TIME. GET THE FUCK TO WORK WE TALK LATER." (Crazy women always wanna give u the business and then warn u that another reaming is coming lol.) And u just like "baby I don't have a type, YOU my type" and she just like "YOUR πŸ‘ TYPE πŸ‘ IS πŸ‘ BLOND πŸ‘ YOU πŸ‘ DIRTY πŸ‘ DICK πŸ‘ NIGHTMARE πŸ‘ CHEATER πŸ‘ I πŸ‘ SAID πŸ‘ WE πŸ‘ TALK πŸ‘ LATER." There u have it. Getchu a girl who wild about u bro. If she lukewarm u wasting your time. Get a girl who will kill for u then fuck around KILL u - it's the stabby ones that always got the most firey Punani ya get me! Bless up πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ (πŸ“Έ: Reddit u-lucidf0x)

See bruh if u send a sexy pic of yourself to a girl it's three possible responses: (1) "cute". Fire this woman 😁...No offense but u don't ne...

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Apparently, Ass, and Bless Up: Puppy eyes Life update: remember the caption I wrote about bending down and busting the ass seam out of my suit pants? Well I sewed them up myself (as I wrote back then) with light grey thread but the suit was dark grey. To me the shit look fine. Like the stitching was on point low key I was proud of myself lol. But lo and behold yesterday I get an email from my homie who is head of facilities at the firm: "smash, it has come to my attention that you may not be aware that there is a large tear in the seat of your pants." OK. So lemme be clear. Yes the stitching down my ass crack is contrasting. However it is not a large tear. In fact the tear has been repaired. THE LARGER ISSUE AT HAND IS WHY THE SECRETARIES HAD TO GANG UP AND APPROACH THE HEAD OF FACILITIES TO SEND THIS EMAIL. WHY YALL LOOKING AT SMASH'S BUTT CHEEKS IN THE FIRST PLACE, THIS THE REAL QUESTION. I CAME TO THIS FIRM READY TO PROVE MYSELF. I DONE PULLED THE MULTIPLE ALL NIGHTERS. I DONE WORKED IN SEVERAL OF OUR OFFICES GLOBALLY. DONE MISSED EVERY PERSONAL ENGAGEMENT IMAGINABLE TO GET DEALS DONE. AND AFTER ALL THIS, I'M JUST A SEXY PIECE OF HALAL ASS-MEAT FOR THE SECRETARIES TO GIGGLE AT. OK. SO THIS IS WHERE THINGS STAND. JUST EYE CANDY FOR YALL. WELL SAY NO MORE. TOMORROW IMMA WEAR HIJAB. AND A TRENCH COAT. "Have you seen smash today in a erykah badu head wrap? Did he lose his mind??" NAH BUT APPARENTLY YALL CAN'T STOP STARING SO I HAD TO CUT OFF THE SUPPLY. FIND ANOTHER PAIR OF BOUNTEOUS ASS CHEEKS TO OGLE THIS ONE IS OVER ISS CANCELED BLESS UP πŸ˜’πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ (πŸ“Έ: Reddit u-cantthinkofanamern)
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