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Ash, Bad, and Chill: Sat, Jun 22, 18:36 Hello traveller, I am your guide. Are you ready to begin your quest? Hello stranger, what do I need to do, to complete your request. You have to recover a long time lost manuscript held by a famous necromancer. Your journey begins in a forest. The left of you is a mountain with a large boulder blocking it's entrance, in front of you is an ancient graveyard. Some of the greatest heroes of the realm rest there I would like to investigate the grave- yard of it looks chill or haunted. Not strong enough to push that boulder As you enter the graveyard you notice old tombstones crumbling, scribed in language too ancient to be known by any living creature. While searching around you find a crypt, the front door has been knocked open, you can hear a soft gust of wind coming from inside. I copy the ancient text, best as possible. I use 'produce flame' when I enter the crypt. As you go in the light from your spell fills the room, you notice the coffins that adorn the walls and a spiral staircase that leads further down, at the bottom of it lies a large room, broken pillars, and a statue of Sild, the Warlock. A very powerful wizard from centuries past. Further away, with barely any light around it, you see a creature in a black robe facing away, as it ignores you on purpouse. There's a corpse on an alter in front of it, and it's hands deep inside it As I enter the room I go "excuuuuuse me, but it's not nice to sacrifice people" en hold my flame ready to attack if he would attack me... The creature in black turns annoyed by your interference, you see a beetle crawl out of it's eye socket, it's deformed face makes your stomach sick, as you think that eating all those fries before entering a graveyard was a bad idea. A purple light starts forming as he moves his hands together With a quick look around you notice a large floating orb 3 meters above the creature's head. You remember the old legend of Sild's orb, which he used teleport anywhere in the world. Nasty! God damn it those fries! I shoot my flame to the orb so the bug guy can't escape. And pull out my scimitar ready to attack As your flame hits, the orb shatters into what seems to be glass spikes, flying everywhere, further damaging the room. Some hit the creature, tearing his black robes just to reveal pieces of rotting flesh. The stench of death takes over the room, you can't hold those fries anymore, as you make an effort to not puke onto your brand new heels -and you hear your own voice in your head WHY WOULD YOU GO INTO A GRAVEYARD USING HEELS WOMAN ? As you get distracted, the creature fires his spell, you quickly block it with your scimitar, but it flies away from your hand. You are disarmed and the creature starts running in your direction "I DON'T I WANTED SOMETHING DIFFERENT THEN THE USUAL SNEAKERS as I replied to my own question. I take them of hold them as a weapon ready to defend myself against the ugly bug dude. And try to figure out if I can back to my scimitar. As you dual-wield your brand new puke-free heels you notice a two fast moving shadows moving behind the creature. Desperation starts to hit as you are outnumbered and your scimitar is nowhere to be seen, suddenly the shadows jump onto the creatures head and start attacking him. IT'S YOUR FAMILIARS, your thank yourself for installing that catdoor years ago. The creature loses balance just as it reaches you, slipping and faceplanting your puddle fries and cola that rested on the floor. You plunge it's head with both heels. It explodes and the creature slowly starts turning into ashes... You give a well deserved pet to them. The comforting purring sounds fills the room, you feel safe now. One of your familiars starts digging into the ash pile, as he found something of value there. IT'S A FORTUNE COOKIE! I go like "Oooh cookie!" I break it open and eat the cookie while I read. And also keep petting them, like a good rub under the chin. You slowly chew the cookie, the slight chocolate taste is well welcome at this moment, unravel the note, and it says , hit me up for fries & movies sometime. Sept Her profile said she was into RPGs

Her profile said she was into RPGs

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Bodies , Drunk, and Fucking: teen wolf season 1: werewolves exist, weakened by wolfsbane, they are strongest at the full moon, exist in packs with Alphas, Betas and Omegas, and a bite or a scratch turns humans into them me: OK yeah classic werewolf lore season 2: ok turns out werewolves can resurrect from the fucking dead using moonlight and their own beta. oh and werewolves can turn into giant lizard men with paralytic venom if the human was a dick alright, a lot weirder but I can handle thi- me: wha season 3: [slurring] yeah so werewolf twins can fuse their bodies together like voltron to become a bigger wolf...but ONLY if they're shirtless. Also wolves can store memories in their claws. me: wtf this is getting pretty wei- season 4: if if - if your throat gets fatally slashed by a werewolf [burps] that doesn't mean that you'll actually die. You could actually be turned into a were-jaguar and control Viking bersekers for some [hiccups] fucking reason. also were-jaguars can can magically just freaking de-age adults into teenagers somehow and we'll never explain why me: jesus christ that is the stupi- season 5: [barely intelligible] when a human slurps rainwater from a regular wolf's footprint, he'll transform.... me: oh that's actually great, back to the classic lor- season 5: into this humungous eight foot tall cgi beast of a werewolf made out of fucking shadows that can only be killed by a spear tempered with his French sister's blood me: go home Jeff Davis you drunk You can actually see where the showrunners’ ideas start to get worse and worse
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Country, Poor, and Quality: my country is so poor it even has low quality shadows

my country is so poor it even has low quality shadows

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