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AldenRants 36-50 @Grace.mcclint asked me to rant about the deep sea! *violently holds my breath like a passively retaliating 3-year-old* I CAN'T DEAL! WE KNOW NEXT TO NOTHING ABOUT THE DEEP SEA OTHER THAN THE HAUNTING FACT THAT ITS ECO SYSTEM INCLUDES CREATURES THAT WERE GRUESOMELY SHAT OUT FROM THE NIGHTMARES OF TIM BURTON ON ACID. JUST WHAT UNSPEAKABLE MONSTROSITIES ARE LURKING DOWN THERE? LOCH NESS?? KRAKEN!? SKYSCRAPER-SIZED EELS WITH CLUSTERS OF EYEBALLS AND BRISTLY TEETH THAT SHOOT OUT LIKE HARPOONS AND PULL YOU INTO THEIR GAPING DECAYING MAWS TO BE DIGESTED WHOLE AND RIPPED APART BY THREE DIFFERENT STOMACH CHAMBERS?!?!? THE PAIR OF GOGGLES I LOST IN FLORIDA TWO SUMMERS AGO!!!!!!????: ladymdej These koi are really aggressive. But look at the markings! apophenic-ocelles Fun fact: These aren't koi, they're ordinary goldfish! A lot of people think that koi are just large outdoor goldfish, but they are actually separate species. However, like koi, goldfish can easily grow to tremendous sizes and live a long time, provided they're given adequate space and nutrition AldenRants 36-50 @Grace.mcclint asked me to rant about the deep sea! *violently holds my breath like a passively retaliating 3-year-old* I CAN'T DEAL! WE KNOW NEXT TO NOTHING ABOUT THE DEEP SEA OTHER THAN THE HAUNTING FACT THAT ITS ECO SYSTEM INCLUDES CREATURES THAT WERE GRUESOMELY SHAT OUT FROM THE NIGHTMARES OF TIM BURTON ON ACID. JUST WHAT UNSPEAKABLE MONSTROSITIES ARE LURKING DOWN THERE? LOCH NESS?? KRAKEN!? SKYSCRAPER-SIZED EELS WITH CLUSTERS OF EYEBALLS AND BRISTLY TEETH THAT SHOOT OUT LIKE HARPOONS AND PULL YOU INTO THEIR GAPING DECAYING MAWS TO BE DIGESTED WHOLE AND RIPPED APART BY THREE DIFFERENT STOMACH CHAMBERS?!?!? THE PAIR OF GOGGLES I LOST IN FLORIDA TWO SUMMERS AGO!!!!!!????
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the pickle pooper also I apparently already posted the goalie one??? so oop: Anonymous 12/23/13(Mon)10:04:04 UTC-5 No.522930202 Tell me about it went to the store on Thursday >bought a half gallon jar of pickles love me some pickles >eat one as soon as I get home tastes goodman bat so good l decide l'll have a few more >walk back to my computer and start to work but the urge is not sated >not by a long shot come back to life-giving pickle jar several more time >eat several pickles each time after an hour the jar is empty >400% of my daily sodium never tasted so good thirty minutes later l hear a churning in my stomach not a light rumbling, sounds like the noise an old tub makes when you suddenly pull the drain initiate sprint to bathroom mode barely get my ass on the toilet as a fucking waterfall emerges from my asshole never in my life have relief and horror been such close bedfellows after about ten seconds of continuous flow it subsides to a trickle and stops toilet water is green and smells like vinegar >body didn't even try to digest that shit clean up and go back to computer thinking "thank god that's over" >Not. Even. Close. five minutes later the rumbling is back >even louder this time sprint to bathroom, lather, rinse, repeat this happens five more fucking times s finally all gone stomach is concave; l have never had less food inside my body completely cleaned out >cue rumble >sit on toilet but it's different this time >l KNOW there's nothing in there >shit out a tiny amount of liquid, immediately feel better "well I guess there was just a tiny bit left, that wasn't so ba- >all at once the burning fire of a thousand young suns sets upon my anal sphincter >l had just shat out pure stomach acid frantically wipe at my ass to prevent it from melting away like the spaceship floor in Alien >craw in shower, turn cold water on full blast, and lie prone while gently sobbing eventually towel off and crawl exhausted into bed at 3:00 in the afternoon sleep for fourteen hours In retrospect, it was all totally worth it I love me some pickles. the pickle pooper also I apparently already posted the goalie one??? so oop
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