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strawberryoverlord: bl-uefish: kneecap-stealing-gay-rainbow: void-of-erebos: lil-dane: dedmemehehe: official-lucifers-child: tim-tam-the-himbo-man: a-fools-love: drabbles-and-daydreams: justsomebandomtrash: pink-punk-metal: champawattigress: lizziedoesvetpath: gettingvetted: wuackamole: rimmymftim: the-bi-man-cometh: sassymccoy: i-chew-on-pushpins: sirfrogsworth: 3.944 cubits. Third grocery store shelf from the top I touch the ceiling without needing to go up on my toes About 1 Billy Joel. taller than jeremy dooley, shorter than everyone else Just a little too long for my bed 18 hands Long enough that I should just fit between two people appropriately social distancing without touching either of them when lying out flat Approximately 89% of the length of Darth Maul’s lightsaber. taller than every member of fall out boy  If I stand on a chair on my fuckin tippy toes or whatever the fuck I can touch the ceiling I am exactly one (1) Evan Jennings I am 2 capybara’s tall I need a step stool to get stuff out of upper kitchen cabinets at least 5 hands about 1 my mom slightly shorter than @official-lucifers-child I can touch my toes and forehead to opposite ends of my bed, but only when I stretch my feet out I am a little shorter than the length of social distancing. im 0.000978535 miles tall I’m a little over 12 pens tall 1 foot shorter than Master Chief: strawberryoverlord: bl-uefish: kneecap-stealing-gay-rainbow: void-of-erebos: lil-dane: dedmemehehe: official-lucifers-child: tim-tam-the-himbo-man: a-fools-love: drabbles-and-daydreams: justsomebandomtrash: pink-punk-metal: champawattigress: lizziedoesvetpath: gettingvetted: wuackamole: rimmymftim: the-bi-man-cometh: sassymccoy: i-chew-on-pushpins: sirfrogsworth: 3.944 cubits. Third grocery store shelf from the top I touch the ceiling without needing to go up on my toes About 1 Billy Joel. taller than jeremy dooley, shorter than everyone else Just a little too long for my bed 18 hands Long enough that I should just fit between two people appropriately social distancing without touching either of them when lying out flat Approximately 89% of the length of Darth Maul’s lightsaber. taller than every member of fall out boy  If I stand on a chair on my fuckin tippy toes or whatever the fuck I can touch the ceiling I am exactly one (1) Evan Jennings I am 2 capybara’s tall I need a step stool to get stuff out of upper kitchen cabinets at least 5 hands about 1 my mom slightly shorter than @official-lucifers-child I can touch my toes and forehead to opposite ends of my bed, but only when I stretch my feet out I am a little shorter than the length of social distancing. im 0.000978535 miles tall I’m a little over 12 pens tall 1 foot shorter than Master Chief
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mighty-meerkat: bundibird: kaldicuct: vaporwavevocap: draconic-duelist: ranty9000: askshadetrixieandfamily: real-life-pine-tree: oddeyesarcpendulumdragon: based on a true story I don’t think Fortnite is to blame for kids nowadays not reading… That’s the joke. It’s the authoritarian overbearing parent. He was being sarcastic lol Reminded me of these That violin one hit close to home. I remember doing homework once, asked my grandmother if she was proud of me. “Do some thing for me to be proud of.” That hurt. That comic up there – I witnessed almost that exact scenario. Teacher wanted the kids to all pick books. One kid spots something on the shelf and gets visibly excited. Pulls it out and starts reading. Teacher sees it, snatches it off him and tells him that this is a book for 8 year olds (the kid was 15ish) and tells him to get a book more appropriate for his age. Kid slouches around the shelves for about 10 minutes, finally picks up a book at random and sits in his chair tucking the edges of each page into the binding to make that looped-page look. He didn’t read a word. He sat there and did this to his book for the remainder of the reading session: He had been genuinely excited about the 8 year old book he’d picked up. It was a new one in a series he used to read as a younger kid. He’d been actively sitting and reading, and then he was embarrassed in front of his classmates, told off for reading a kids book, and voila. He lost all enthusiasm for reading anything else that day. What’s worse? That kid had been hit by a car like a year and a half earlier. Severe brain trauma. Had to re-learn a lot of basic things, like how to speak and how to read. An 8 year old book would have been perfect for him. Easy enough to read that it would have helped rebuild his confidence in his own reading ability. A book meant for 15/16 years olds? A lot harder to read than a book for 8 year olds. Especially if you’re recovering from a relatively recent brain injury. And yeah, the teacher knew all about his brain injury, and the recovery. He just seemed go be of the opinion that the kid was 15, so he should be reading books for 15 year olds, irrespective of brain injury. Reading this thread I’m reminded of Daniel Pennae’s The Rights of the Reader, which can be found in a lot of bookshops and school libraries:  The child speaking at the bottom in Quentin Blake’s distinctive spiky handwriting is saying ‘10 rights, 1 warning: Don’t make fun of people who don’t read - or they never will’ : mighty-meerkat: bundibird: kaldicuct: vaporwavevocap: draconic-duelist: ranty9000: askshadetrixieandfamily: real-life-pine-tree: oddeyesarcpendulumdragon: based on a true story I don’t think Fortnite is to blame for kids nowadays not reading… That’s the joke. It’s the authoritarian overbearing parent. He was being sarcastic lol Reminded me of these That violin one hit close to home. I remember doing homework once, asked my grandmother if she was proud of me. “Do some thing for me to be proud of.” That hurt. That comic up there – I witnessed almost that exact scenario. Teacher wanted the kids to all pick books. One kid spots something on the shelf and gets visibly excited. Pulls it out and starts reading. Teacher sees it, snatches it off him and tells him that this is a book for 8 year olds (the kid was 15ish) and tells him to get a book more appropriate for his age. Kid slouches around the shelves for about 10 minutes, finally picks up a book at random and sits in his chair tucking the edges of each page into the binding to make that looped-page look. He didn’t read a word. He sat there and did this to his book for the remainder of the reading session: He had been genuinely excited about the 8 year old book he’d picked up. It was a new one in a series he used to read as a younger kid. He’d been actively sitting and reading, and then he was embarrassed in front of his classmates, told off for reading a kids book, and voila. He lost all enthusiasm for reading anything else that day. What’s worse? That kid had been hit by a car like a year and a half earlier. Severe brain trauma. Had to re-learn a lot of basic things, like how to speak and how to read. An 8 year old book would have been perfect for him. Easy enough to read that it would have helped rebuild his confidence in his own reading ability. A book meant for 15/16 years olds? A lot harder to read than a book for 8 year olds. Especially if you’re recovering from a relatively recent brain injury. And yeah, the teacher knew all about his brain injury, and the recovery. He just seemed go be of the opinion that the kid was 15, so he should be reading books for 15 year olds, irrespective of brain injury. Reading this thread I’m reminded of Daniel Pennae’s The Rights of the Reader, which can be found in a lot of bookshops and school libraries:  The child speaking at the bottom in Quentin Blake’s distinctive spiky handwriting is saying ‘10 rights, 1 warning: Don’t make fun of people who don’t read - or they never will’

mighty-meerkat: bundibird: kaldicuct: vaporwavevocap: draconic-duelist: ranty9000: askshadetrixieandfamily: real-life-pine-tree:...

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nestofstraightlines: jabberwockypie: kyraneko: darkmagyk: seananmcguire: nokeek: Dorothy just wanted something that she could believe in,A gray dustbowl girl in a life she was better off leavin’.She made her escape, went from gray into green,And she could have got clear, and she could have got clean,But she chose to be good and go back to the gray Kansas skyWhere color’s a fable and freedom’s a fairy tale lie. Alice got lost, and I guess that we really can’t blame her;They say she got tangled and tied in the lies that became her.They say she went mad, and she never complained,For there’s peace of a kind in a life unconstrained.She gives Cheshire kisses, she’s easy with white rabbit smiles,And she’ll never be free, but she’s won herself safe for a while. Susan and Lucy were queens, and they ruled well and proudly.They honored their land and their lord, rang the bells long and loudly.They never once asked to return to their livesTo be children and chattel and mothers and wives,But the land cast them out in a lesson that only one learned;And one queen said ‘I am not a toy’, and she never returned. Mandy’s a pirate, and Mia weaves silk shrouds for faeries,And Deborah will pour you red wine pressed from sweet poisoned berries.Kate poses riddles and Mary plays tricks,While Kaia builds towers from brambles and sticks,And the rules that we live by are simple and clear:Be wicked and lovely and don’t live in fear        Dorothy, Alice and Wendy and Jane,        Susan and Lucy, we’re calling your names,        All the Lost Girls who came out of the rain        And chose to go back on the shelf.        Tinker Bell says, and I find I agree        You have to break rules if you want to break free.        So do as you like  — we’re determined to be        Wicked girls saving ourselves. For we will be wicked and we will be fairAnd they’ll call us such names, and we really won’t care,So go, tell your Wendys, your Susans, your Janes,There’s a place they can go if they’re tired of chains,And our roads may be golden, or broken, or lost,But we’ll walk on them willingly, knowing the cost  — We won’t take our place on the shelves.It’s better to fly and it’s better to dieSay the wicked girls saving ourselves. (Seanan McGuire) This is breathtaking. I heard this poem once a million years ago, I have been looking for it ever since, and had now found it.  I love it so much more then I remember.  You might be interested to know that she set it to music and it’s also a song. @darkmagyk And people have made fanvids set to it! (The CD is out of print right now - I have it and I love it so much, but I she’s re-printing a different one … soonish?) Mmmmm I get it but I’m not sure about the implication that real life is an inherent punishment for girls, and I find this kind of feminist take a little reactionary and keen to flatten out female characters and their stories into simple terms to make a kind of Yass Queen point. Anyway here’s a video I love examining the differences in feminist-related theming between the book and movie of The Wizard of Oz https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hz15yFVF1TI And here’s a Hark! A Vagrant comic that is very much that’s-it-that’s the-book re. Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland: : TA 轉p ETER PAN PIPPILONGSTOKING+LINDGE ATHE WIZARD ERANK Jot OZ OSAUM the Lion ie i theterdenne C.S. LEWIS HOKEEK.TUMBLR.COM Potter LERBY HED HARRY PLEF nestofstraightlines: jabberwockypie: kyraneko: darkmagyk: seananmcguire: nokeek: Dorothy just wanted something that she could believe in,A gray dustbowl girl in a life she was better off leavin’.She made her escape, went from gray into green,And she could have got clear, and she could have got clean,But she chose to be good and go back to the gray Kansas skyWhere color’s a fable and freedom’s a fairy tale lie. Alice got lost, and I guess that we really can’t blame her;They say she got tangled and tied in the lies that became her.They say she went mad, and she never complained,For there’s peace of a kind in a life unconstrained.She gives Cheshire kisses, she’s easy with white rabbit smiles,And she’ll never be free, but she’s won herself safe for a while. Susan and Lucy were queens, and they ruled well and proudly.They honored their land and their lord, rang the bells long and loudly.They never once asked to return to their livesTo be children and chattel and mothers and wives,But the land cast them out in a lesson that only one learned;And one queen said ‘I am not a toy’, and she never returned. Mandy’s a pirate, and Mia weaves silk shrouds for faeries,And Deborah will pour you red wine pressed from sweet poisoned berries.Kate poses riddles and Mary plays tricks,While Kaia builds towers from brambles and sticks,And the rules that we live by are simple and clear:Be wicked and lovely and don’t live in fear        Dorothy, Alice and Wendy and Jane,        Susan and Lucy, we’re calling your names,        All the Lost Girls who came out of the rain        And chose to go back on the shelf.        Tinker Bell says, and I find I agree        You have to break rules if you want to break free.        So do as you like  — we’re determined to be        Wicked girls saving ourselves. For we will be wicked and we will be fairAnd they’ll call us such names, and we really won’t care,So go, tell your Wendys, your Susans, your Janes,There’s a place they can go if they’re tired of chains,And our roads may be golden, or broken, or lost,But we’ll walk on them willingly, knowing the cost  — We won’t take our place on the shelves.It’s better to fly and it’s better to dieSay the wicked girls saving ourselves. (Seanan McGuire) This is breathtaking. I heard this poem once a million years ago, I have been looking for it ever since, and had now found it.  I love it so much more then I remember.  You might be interested to know that she set it to music and it’s also a song. @darkmagyk And people have made fanvids set to it! (The CD is out of print right now - I have it and I love it so much, but I she’s re-printing a different one … soonish?) Mmmmm I get it but I’m not sure about the implication that real life is an inherent punishment for girls, and I find this kind of feminist take a little reactionary and keen to flatten out female characters and their stories into simple terms to make a kind of Yass Queen point. Anyway here’s a video I love examining the differences in feminist-related theming between the book and movie of The Wizard of Oz https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hz15yFVF1TI And here’s a Hark! A Vagrant comic that is very much that’s-it-that’s the-book re. Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland:

nestofstraightlines: jabberwockypie: kyraneko: darkmagyk: seananmcguire: nokeek: Dorothy just wanted something that she could belie...

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lolzandtrollz: Psychologist Writes The Most Perfect Letter To His Daughter: A psychologist goes to Target and after visiting the make-up aisle, he decides to write this letter to his young daughter: Dear Little One, As I write this, I'm sitting in the makeup aisle of our local Target store. A friend recently texted me froma different makeup aisle and told me it felt like one of the most oppressive places in the world. I wanted to find out what he meant. Flat OOOKS HAN UR LAF And now that I'm sitting here, I'm beginning to agree with him. Words have power, and the words on display in this aisle have a deep power. Words and phrases like: Affordably gorgeous, Infallible, Flawless finish, Brilliant strength, Liquid power, Go nude, Age defying, Instant age rewind, Choose your dream, Nearly naked, and Natural beauty. When you have a daughter you start to realize she's just as strong as everyone else in the house-a force to be reckoned with, a soul on fire with the same life and gifts and passions as any man. But sitting in this store aisle, you also begin to realize most people won't see her that way. Theyll see her as a pretty face and a body to enjoy. And they'll tell her she has to look a certain way to have any worth or influence. But words do have power and maybe, just maybe, the words of a father can begin to compete with the words of the world. Maybe a father's words can deliver his daughter through this gauntlet of institutionalized shame and into a deep, unshakeable sense of her own worthiness and beauty. A father's words aren't different words, but they are words with a radically different meaning: BRILLIANT STRENGTH: May your strength be not in your fingernails but in your heat. May you discem in your center who you are, and then may you fearfully but tenaciously live it out in the world. CHOOSE YOUR DREAM: But not from a department store shelf. Find the still-quiet place within you. A real dream has been planted there. Discover what you want to do in the world. And when you have chosen, may you faithfully pursue it, with integrity and with hope. NAKED: The world wants you to take your clothes off. Please keep them on. But take your gloves off. Pull no punches. Say what is in your heart. Be vulnerable. Embrace risk. Love a world that barely knows what it means to love itself. Do so nakedly. Openly. With abandon. INFALLIBLE: May you be constantly, infallibly aware that infallibility doesn't exist. It's an illusion created by people interested in your wallet. If you choose to seek perfection, may it be in an infallible grace-for yourself, and for everyone around you. AGE DEFYING: Your skin will wrinkle and your youth will fade, but your soul is ageless. It will always know how to play and how to enjoy and how to revel in this one-chance life. May you always defiantly resist the aging of your spirit. FLAWLESS FINISH: Your finish has nothing to do with how your face looks today and everything to do with how your life looks on your last day. May your years be a preparation for that day. May you be aged by grace, may you grow in wisdom, and may your love become big enough to embrace all people. May your flawiess finish be a peaceful embrace of the end and the unknown that follows, and may it thus be a gift to everyone who cherishes you. Little One, you love everything pink and frilly and I wll surely understand if someday makeup is important to you. But I pray three words will remain more important to you-the last three words you say every night, when I ask the question: "Where are you the most beautiful?" Three words so bright no concealer can cover them. Where are you the most beautiful? On the inside. From my heart to yours, Daddy you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com lolzandtrollz: Psychologist Writes The Most Perfect Letter To His Daughter

lolzandtrollz: Psychologist Writes The Most Perfect Letter To His Daughter

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A bot watched over 1000 hours of lawyer commercials and then made this: Keaton Patti Follow eKeatonPatti I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of lawyer commercials and then asked it to write a lawyer commercial of its own. Here is the first page LAWYER COMMERCIAL INT. FIRM LAW ROOM A LAWYER stands next to a shelf with books. The books are very wide. They have eaten too many words LAWYER Have you been hurt in an accidental car? Has the government sold your lungs without asking nicely? Are you Mesothelioma? Answer me! The lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch LAWYER (CONT'D) If so, you can act entitled for money. I'l help. I graduated from lawn school and all my teachers were bitten by dogs Words scrol1 across bottom of the screen. These are cases the lawyer takes: UNFAIR STABBING, ILLEGAL SHOES, HUSIC TO0 CANADIAN, SUE THE RAIN, DIvORCE YOUR TOILET, FAKE SONS. LAWYER (CONT'D) I have been a lawyer for over 35 weekends and I'm currently dating the Bill of Rights for fun. We see the Bill of Rights. It's in love. The lawyer will1 break its heart. There's nothing we can do. LAWYER (CONT'D) Let me use it to send your asbestos to court. I will wear two suits and I promise to steal the judge's gavel for you The lawyer opens up the jacket of his first suit. Millions of gavels pour out. His promise has worth LAWYER (CONT D) My clients never go to jail town We see his past clients: a tornado, a tornado, a tornado LAWYER (CONT 'D) Remember, you don't pay any money unless you pay us money. Call for a free use of phone The phone digits appear. It's your social security number A bot watched over 1000 hours of lawyer commercials and then made this

A bot watched over 1000 hours of lawyer commercials and then made this

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