Alive, Beard, and Children: feniczoroark:
How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?WITNESS: My name is Susan!_______________________________ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?WITNESS: No, I just lie there.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?WITNESS: July 18th.ATTORNEY: What year?WITNESS: Every year._____________________________________ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?WITNESS: Forty-five years._________________________________ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?WITNESS: I forget..ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?____________________________________ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?WITNESS: Are you shitting me?_________________________________________ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?WITNESS: Getting laid____________________________________________ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: How many were boys?WITNESS: None.ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?____________________________________________ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?WITNESS: By death..ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?WITNESS: Take a guess.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beardATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male._____________________________________ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.______________________________________ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight._________________________________________ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?WITNESS: Oral…_________________________________________ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PMATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?______________________________________And last:ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?WITNESS: No..ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
oh my god these are great
fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes
The last one is how I feel about all my schoolmates
I can feel the frustration
College, Family, and Hungry: CBS News
Minimum wage doesn't cover the rent
anywhere in the U.S. cbsn.ws/2JKkXLa
12:33 AM - 15 Jun 2018
5,028 Retweets 7,533 Likes
Unpopular opinion: Minimum wage jobs
aren'i rncai for people who pay reni, they're
for high schoolers and such. If you wanna
Minimum wage doesn't cover the rent anywhere in the U.S. cbsn.ws
7:29 AM- 18 Jun 2018
1,962 Retweets 7,886 Likes
Frank Furtschool apppaaaapp...
unpopular opinion: [belief shared by
literally every other suburban rich kid
Unpopular opinion: Minimum wage jobs aren't meant for people who pay
rent, they're for high schoolers and such. If you wanna make enough money
nt get a big boy/girl job
7:03 PM- 21 Jun 2018
585 Retweets 3,185 Likes
This isn't an unpopular opinion, it's a
complete misunderstanding of why a
minimum wage was created.
Unpopular opinion: Minimum wage jobs aren't meant for people who pay rent, they're
for high schoolers and such. If you wanna make enough money to pay rent get a big
boy/girl job. twitter.com/cbsnews/status
5:28 AM- 21 Jun 2018
1,790 Retweets 6,835 Likes
It’s an extremely popular opinion among middle and upper class white people.
Also, aside from this completely uneducated reasoning as to why minimum wage was created…
I can guarantee that there are tens of thousands of teenagers who have to pay bills and help support their families or are the only financial supporter to their family.
not to mention, if minimum wage was meant solely for high school students how would the business survive when students are in school?? are they only supposed to be open on the weekend? this “unpopular opinion” makes no sense.
Unpopular fact: in the 70s a minimum wage worker could pay for college with a summer job.
Unpopular fact: minimum wage was conceived to be the minimum amount of money a person would need to support themselves and their families when working 40 hours per week.
Unpopular fact: minimum wage was created because working men and women in this nation fought–figuratively in the negotiating room and literally in the streets–for a fair working wage, with sweat and blood and tears and death.
Unpopular fact: military service personnel are not the only people who have fought and died for your rights as American: labor leaders and common workers laid down their lives so that you could have a 40 hour work week instead of 80 hours; so you could have a 2 day weekend instead of none; so you could have lunch and bathroom breaks instead of going hungry and shitting your pants,; so you could have a three day weekend in September.
Capitalism would NEVER dole out basic human decency without literal human sacrifice.