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Bee Movie, God, and Tumblr: 824:11:45/1347:36:22 Antz but every time they say ant it gets replaced by the Bee Movie but every time they say bee it's replaced by the Nutshack Theme but every time they say nutshack it's replaced with the entire Marmaduke movie AntzVEVOo Subscribe 18 7 views Add to Share More thelordofhats: koininaritai: if this is real the video is 56 days long. I think 56 days is actually way too short for it to be real. Let’s start at the bottom: According to Wikipedia, Marmaduke is 87 minutes long. Which seems kind of short for a feature movie, but whatever, that’s merciful. For ease of math, let’s just round that to ninety minutes–an hour and a half. For the sake of Science, I listened to the Nutshack theme (dear god it’s worse than I remember). I was able to count 19 instances of “Nutshack” for certain, and I’m sure there’s at least one, possibly more, that I missed because you have a point where the characters are saying Nutshack at the same time the chorus is saying Nutshack, though I’m not going back to confirm because I am not that much of a masochist. So that means that a single instance of ‘Bee’ in Bee movie takes… 30 hours to resolve (the length of the Nutshack theme is negligible here compared to the rounding we’re already doing). That’s a day and a quarter of this hell. So, we can fit one instance of Bee Movie in our timeslot if they say ‘Bee’ a total of… 44.8 times throughout. I counted. They say ‘Bee’ or ‘Bees’ (not counting Bee included in part of a word like Beekeeper, or in a compound pun) a total of 149 times. That’s right. With only Bee Movie you’re going to be here for 186 days, and 7 hours (extra hour for the parts of Bee Movie that aren’t them saying ‘Bee’). But then there’ Antz is, notably, more restrained than Bee Movie (also harder to CTRL+F through, because it’s actually the full script that’s posted, with scene descriptions). They only say ‘ant’ 50 times. But every single time they it, it starts a 186 day-long chain reaction. You are going to be watching this for TWENTY-FIVE YEARS. TWENTY FIVE YEARS OF MARMADUKE,  because that’s almost all that you’ll be watching. You might be able to follow the plot of Bee Movie, if you keep notes. But the snippets of Antz you get are going to be separated by periods of half a year. Sometimes they’ll say ‘ant’ twice in a sentence, and there goes your entire year. And that’s if you watch non-stop. It gets even worse if you factor in any kind of time to eat and sleep. At least you’ll know Marmaduke backwards and forwards. At least, assuming you aren’t a gibbering wreck after a year of this, which you certainly are going to be.

thelordofhats: koininaritai: if this is real the video is 56 days long. I think 56 days is actually way too short for it to be real. Let’s ...

Apparently, Children, and Food: Lauren Dobson-Hughes @ldobsonhughes Amazing overheard at Whole Foods. "Um, I need to read the numbers on the barcode aloud to you. I don't want any lasers touching my food." 8/7/15, 11:24 AM 3,116 RETWEETS 3,022 FAVORITES 17 floatingwithobrien: theintumetexplorer laser-free diet yall need to hear about gerb. gerb was my high school physics teacher. (gerb is short for mr. gerber.) when we were leaming about radiation and whatnot, and we touched on radiation poisoning, gerb decided to tell us a story. when gerb was in high school, he worked in a supermarket. a cashier. there was this one little old lady, mrs. cassopolis, who was a regular. mrs. cassopolis firmly believed that the lasers used to scan her food items would give her radiation poisoning. they tried to explain that's not a thing. but old cass wouldn't hear a word of it the employees had to punch in every. last. grocery. item. MANUALLY. and this woman would buy cartfulls of food every week, like any good grandma trying to feed her five children and eighteen grandchildren every time they come for a Sunday visit. so pretty soon, the employees figured out a strateqy to get her on her way and get on with their lives. one or more employees would distract old cass while the cashier would scan all the items he could as fast as humanly possible while she wasn't paying attention. now this supemarket had a rewards program for its most efficient workers. the computer would track how quickly the cashiers scanned items, and how many total they scanned in one day, that kind of thing. so one day, gerb's boss came to him and said "uh," "you scanned three hundred items in six minutes last Tuesday during your shift and gerb says i recal "that's about four times faster than anything ive ever seen" and gerb says 'yea ok" jeremy what happened?" and gerb says ihad to save a little old woman from placebo radiation It’s a real problem apparentlyomg-humor.tumblr.com

It’s a real problem apparentlyomg-humor.tumblr.com