Threes
Threes

Threes

Keeping
Keeping

Keeping

Phillied
Phillied

Phillied

Sources
Sources

Sources

Caught
Caught

Caught

When He
When He

When He

Greates
Greates

Greates

Waiting For
Waiting For

Waiting For

Takes A Deep Breath
Takes A Deep Breath

Takes A Deep Breath

Both
Both

Both

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Beautiful, Birthday, and Bless Up: This old man turned 15 today. Can we wish my four egged baby a happy birthday? So this morning on the way to the gym I parked in the lot, took my glasses off and left them in the middle console of my car so I could run inside and get it in on this stair master (while watching my wifey who donโ€™t know she my wifey Mrs Maizel do her COT ๐Ÿ‘ DAMN ๐Ÿ‘ THING ๐Ÿ‘ ON ๐Ÿ‘ THAT ๐Ÿ‘ SCREEN ๐Ÿ‘ U ๐Ÿ‘ GO ๐Ÿ‘ BABY ๐Ÿ‘ GIRL ๐Ÿ‘ EFF ๐Ÿ‘ JOEL ๐Ÿ‘ WITCHOE ๐Ÿ‘ SHARP ๐Ÿ‘ WIT ๐Ÿ‘ AND ๐Ÿ‘ MOUNTAINOUS ๐Ÿ‘ TรˆTA$ ๐Ÿ‘ LMAO) because I only need them to see far, not while Iโ€™m actually at the gym. I come back after knocking out my workout and the left lens is frozen over bruv. BRUV. I CANT SEE LMAO. The steam had frozen into a beautiful snowflake pattern but just one eye. I have driven in a car with a frozen windshield because I am too rushed to scrape it but having to drive with one frozen eyeball was some insane Sh!t bruv! It was a gentle reminder of this ridiculous frozen tundra that I live in and that arguably no human should live in because who the hell would want to live under 4 to 6 inches of snow LOL (Canada, no shots, I know yall get twice as much snow on a regular schmegular Wednesday but yโ€™all veins pump maple syrup it donโ€™t freeze like us we got normal blood lmao.) Anyway this summer Iโ€™ll be back to talking smack about how Chicago is the best city on earth so when I do that, yโ€™all are authorized to remind me that once upon a time I was tight asf that I lived in the cot dang South Pole. Remember that brand? South Pole? With the baggy coats and jeans? I used to want to afford that stuff so much but I couldnโ€™t but then when it fell out of style I was like I NEVER ROCKED THAT UGLY ISHT HAHAHAHAHA I AM SO FANCY (why am I like this ๐Ÿ˜‘ bless up ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚) (Slide 1: @aturner411. Slide 2: reddit u-wampus514. Please check out www.dogs4warriors.org โค๏ธ. Slide 3: @goosewhomst. Slide 4: @jadethesablegsd.)
Bad, Barber, and Barbie: This is how she looks every time we're cooking and not giving her anything So Iโ€™m at a holiday party right. Next to me is a woman 43 years old fam she didnโ€™t look older than 25. Drop dead gorgeous. And hereโ€™s this cosmetic surgeon saying he finnta do a procedure that eliminate these tiny a$$ wrinkles under he eyes and she was being polite but really wasnโ€™t interested and bro I wanted to clock this ugly hair implant MF ๐Ÿ˜‚. Like how u gon tell a woman at a party u gon upgrade her! Fam! She already a dime! Heck u gon upgrade?! Another lil homegirl of mine she just plain Barbie - put her lil a$$ in a pair of shorts and a corvette with Ken with the PP missin and bam, Barbie. She go to a โ€˜cosmetic dentistโ€™ this MF said she has buck teeth. Lemme tell u...this cosmetic industry satanic ๐Ÿ˜‚. They really lying to u women. Will a barber ever say u DONT need a haircut? Nah - or else he gon go broke! Same. These dudes gon make u feel like something wrong when u already perfect! โ€œIโ€™ll fix those stretch marksโ€ OVER MY DEAD BODY Dr. FESSENJAN PULL A SCALPEL AND IMMA STAB U WITH IT. DONT BODY YA SELF ๐Ÿ˜‚. โ€œSmash we know u lying about the body positive thing to attract thick womenโ€ WELL BISH GIVE ME A PP DETECTOR TEST. Put some grey sweatpants on me. Turn around. Pull ya yoga pants down below them cheeks, show me them skretch marks. If I ainโ€™t pitching a full tent, stab me ๐Ÿ˜‚. โ€œwow - youโ€™re really making all the women who had surgery feel bad, we knew u were a Sh!thead.โ€ Well hang on now. If YOU want it, YOU get it! I support that! U wanna get your nose shaped - do you! A$$ shots - do u! BA - do u! BUT DONT LET THE COSMETIC INDUSTRY GUIDE U. THEY GON LIE TO U AND MAKE U FIX SOMETHING THAT DONT NEED FIXING. THEY NEED TO - OR ELSE THEY GON GO OUT OF BUSINESS. LOVE YOURSELF (like I love you ๐Ÿ˜Š). IF U WANNA DO SOMETHING FOR U THEN DO IT BUT DONT LET NOBODY WITH A PP TALK U INTO SOME SH!T LMAO BLESS UP ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚