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Man Lies about Kicking Dog and Government to get fake internet points.: Posted by u/wolfmusk 1 day ago [UPDATE] I'm going to be sprayed by a skunk next week. Any advice? Earlier this year, I posted a thread asking for advice about my impending skunk spraying. Many people commented and personally reached out to me, asking why the hell I had to do it. Many were concerned about the skunk's welfare. Many were concerned for MY welfare and warned me I was severely underestimating how horrible this would be. Sorry it took me a while to respond to everyone and I went silent for a long time, but I'm ready to give an update now. I had to be sprayed as part of a plea deal I made to avoid jail time, for animal abuse. Apparently these sort of "weird sentences" aren't as uncommon as I would have thought - a brief look around the internet showed me that people have been sentenced to sleep in a doghouse, to spend a night alone in a dark, freezing forest, or to be pepper-sprayed for pepper spraying someone else. I knew if I put that in the original post, I'd have a bunch of people focusing on my crime instead of the spraying, asking for sources, etc, and I just didn't want to deal with that at the time - sorry for not posting it sooner! ohik9616 1 point · 1 minute ago r/quityourbullshit 1. If this is true then the government is corrupt and you abused a skunk and a dog, if this is fake you lied about animal abuse for fake internet points. 2. This goes against the 8th amendment 3. Skunks use spray as their only defense and forcing them to do this, it is animal abuse. Man Lies about Kicking Dog and Government to get fake internet points.
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tumblr spitting straight fire: trainwreckgenerator top 5 tumblr raps of the decade 5. cowboy rap 4. underwater monk 3. slurp on my gurt 2. bone removal, without approval 1. my dick don't work trainwreckgenerator anonymous asked: big ol butt. cowboy slut. looking at spurs, makes me nut. leather boots, assless chaps. give my big, butt a slap. and now you know, the cowboy rap. cowboysuggest answered: in cowboy town we say this instead of the pledge of allegiance (link) TRENDING NEWS Underwater Temple ... Underwater Monk alienpapacy trending news portentsofwoe underwater temple, underwater monk underwater rhymes and underwater funk he sleeps in the sea in an underwater bunk with mirrors all around him hes an underwater hunk megapope he's got underwater junk in his underwater trunk on the basketball court he does a nautical dunk he's got a little stash of underwater skunk underwater temple, underwater monk (link) 2010 2011 mcdonaldsguy this girl ate only purple go-gurt for 10 years of her life and this is what happened. Slurp on my 'gurt. Cause you know its purp. Put me in the dirt. Put me in a shirt. Co implied whole pussy out dirt in my mouth sing a lil ditty when i stroll down south bone removal without approval i found your name and address on the google (link) failed to load timestamp why? kazmeller i really want to make music but i can't sing :( or rap jiluan I'm beatboxing right now drop a freestyle kazmeller im on the cell phone holdin my dick bone im just tryna phone rome caesar gonna get some they call me lil man lil dick itty bitty meat stick my vienna sausage dumb soft i cant even nut quick these rhymes go hard though like hot piss, cold snow you aint even know my dick cant get hard tho you viagra ass hoes poppin pills to get by while im slapping at my dick and im wondering why my dick dont work my dick dont work my dick dont work my dick dont work my dick dont work my dick dont work my dick dont work my dick dont work my dick dont work my dick dont work my dick dont work Source: omegaverse (link) tumblr spitting straight fire
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novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07 : How TO GIVEA DoG A PIL opyrighted Material Sit on the floor in front of your dog. Place smaller dogs on your lap. How to Clean Dog Poop Off a Shoe 2 Grasp the dog's head using your nondominant hand. Be firm but not harsh. Place your hand on top of the muz- zle, with your thumb on one side and fingers on the other. 3 Raise the dog's nose. Squeeze firmly behind the canine or "eye" teeth until the jaw opens Place the pill between the thumb and forefinger of your dominant hand. Use the hand's other three fingers to open the lower jaw further. Use a stick to scrape out poop from beneath the tread of your shoe. 5 Place the pill far back in the dog's mouth. Close the mouth. Tilt up the chin. Keep the mouth closed and stroke the throat to help with swallowing. BGive the dog a treat. BE AWARE! Blowing on the nose may stimulate the dog to swallow. Hiding the pill in peanut butter or some other treat the dog covets is the easiest way to administer a pill However, some canines become quite adept at eating the treat and leaving the pill. Use your band to keep the dog's mouth closed after placing the pill in bis mouth. Drag sneaker though grass or over edged curb. Dip shoe bottom into park fountain Page 27 Dry the dog. Emergency Rain Gear 7 Repeat washing, if necessary. This treatment can irritate a dog's skin, so wait at least 48 hours before bathing a second time. Cut or tear holes in a plastic shopping bag for the dog's paws and head. Use a kitchen- or yard-sized bag for larger breeds. Carefully slip the bag over the dog's head, and ease the front and WARNING! Skunk spray consists of the ejected contents of the animal's anal glands. A freshly sprayed canine can transfer the scent to carpet furniture, and anything else he brushes against. The odor can cause nausea and dizziness in humans. THANK YOU Discard the dog's collar or harness. It will spread skunk odor to anything it touches and isn't worth the extensive offort it would take HAVE A NICE DAY to deodorize it. back paws through the Skunks can carry rabies. Examine your pet for bites holes. How To GIVE A DoG CPR Position the dog on her side. The back is better for barrel-chested breeds. Make sure the dog is on a firm surface. 2 Kneel next to the dog. B Compress the chest. For small dogs, place your palm and fingertips over the ribs at the point where the elbow meets the chest. Compress the chest approximately one inch, twice per second. Alternate every five compressions with one breath. For medium to large dogs, extend your elbows and cup your hands on top of each other. Place hands over the ribs at the point where the dog's elbows meet the chest; then compress it two to three inches, two times per second. Alternate every five com pressions with one breath. For dogs that weigh more than 100 pounds, compress the chest two or three inches once per second, alternating every 10 compressions with a breath. How To GET RiD oF SKUNK ODOR ON YOUR Doc Keep the dog outside. 2 Flush the dog's eyes with water. 4 Check for a hearthbeat. 3 Change your clothes and remove jewelry. The compound used to remove skunk odor 4 ric and, in contact with metals, irritate skin. After one minute, listen for a heartbeat. If none is found, continue with compressions. discolor fab- can 4 Prepare special odor-removing wash. Mix 1 quart of 3 percent hydrogen peroxide with 4 cup of baking soda and 1 teaspoon of liquid dish soap. Ingredients will bubble furiously when combined. This quantity is suf- ficient for a medium-sized dog. A larger canine may need To give artificial respiration, tilt the dog's bead back, place hand around the muzzle, put your mouth over the nose, and breathe into the dog's more. 5 Apply mixture immediately. Use the odor-removing compound while still foaming, as this is when it is most effective. Place dog in bathtub or outdoor tub and work mixture into fur, avoiding mouth and cyes. Leave for several minutes or until the foaming stops, then rinse thoroughly. Reapply if odor persists. nose. K YO A NICE novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07
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novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07 : How TO GIVEA DoG A PIL opyrighted Material Sit on the floor in front of your dog. Place smaller dogs on your lap. How to Clean Dog Poop Off a Shoe 2 Grasp the dog's head using your nondominant hand. Be firm but not harsh. Place your hand on top of the muz- zle, with your thumb on one side and fingers on the other. 3 Raise the dog's nose. Squeeze firmly behind the canine or "eye" teeth until the jaw opens Place the pill between the thumb and forefinger of your dominant hand. Use the hand's other three fingers to open the lower jaw further. Use a stick to scrape out poop from beneath the tread of your shoe. 5 Place the pill far back in the dog's mouth. Close the mouth. Tilt up the chin. Keep the mouth closed and stroke the throat to help with swallowing. BGive the dog a treat. BE AWARE! Blowing on the nose may stimulate the dog to swallow. Hiding the pill in peanut butter or some other treat the dog covets is the easiest way to administer a pill However, some canines become quite adept at eating the treat and leaving the pill. Use your band to keep the dog's mouth closed after placing the pill in bis mouth. Drag sneaker though grass or over edged curb. Dip shoe bottom into park fountain Page 27 Dry the dog. Emergency Rain Gear 7 Repeat washing, if necessary. This treatment can irritate a dog's skin, so wait at least 48 hours before bathing a second time. Cut or tear holes in a plastic shopping bag for the dog's paws and head. Use a kitchen- or yard-sized bag for larger breeds. Carefully slip the bag over the dog's head, and ease the front and WARNING! Skunk spray consists of the ejected contents of the animal's anal glands. A freshly sprayed canine can transfer the scent to carpet furniture, and anything else he brushes against. The odor can cause nausea and dizziness in humans. THANK YOU Discard the dog's collar or harness. It will spread skunk odor to anything it touches and isn't worth the extensive offort it would take HAVE A NICE DAY to deodorize it. back paws through the Skunks can carry rabies. Examine your pet for bites holes. How To GIVE A DoG CPR Position the dog on her side. The back is better for barrel-chested breeds. Make sure the dog is on a firm surface. 2 Kneel next to the dog. B Compress the chest. For small dogs, place your palm and fingertips over the ribs at the point where the elbow meets the chest. Compress the chest approximately one inch, twice per second. Alternate every five compressions with one breath. For medium to large dogs, extend your elbows and cup your hands on top of each other. Place hands over the ribs at the point where the dog's elbows meet the chest; then compress it two to three inches, two times per second. Alternate every five com pressions with one breath. For dogs that weigh more than 100 pounds, compress the chest two or three inches once per second, alternating every 10 compressions with a breath. How To GET RiD oF SKUNK ODOR ON YOUR Doc Keep the dog outside. 2 Flush the dog's eyes with water. 4 Check for a hearthbeat. 3 Change your clothes and remove jewelry. The compound used to remove skunk odor 4 ric and, in contact with metals, irritate skin. After one minute, listen for a heartbeat. If none is found, continue with compressions. discolor fab- can 4 Prepare special odor-removing wash. Mix 1 quart of 3 percent hydrogen peroxide with 4 cup of baking soda and 1 teaspoon of liquid dish soap. Ingredients will bubble furiously when combined. This quantity is suf- ficient for a medium-sized dog. A larger canine may need To give artificial respiration, tilt the dog's bead back, place hand around the muzzle, put your mouth over the nose, and breathe into the dog's more. 5 Apply mixture immediately. Use the odor-removing compound while still foaming, as this is when it is most effective. Place dog in bathtub or outdoor tub and work mixture into fur, avoiding mouth and cyes. Leave for several minutes or until the foaming stops, then rinse thoroughly. Reapply if odor persists. nose. K YO A NICE novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07
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novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07 : How TO GIVEA DoG A PIL opyrighted Material Sit on the floor in front of your dog. Place smaller dogs on your lap. How to Clean Dog Poop Off a Shoe 2 Grasp the dog's head using your nondominant hand. Be firm but not harsh. Place your hand on top of the muz- zle, with your thumb on one side and fingers on the other. 3 Raise the dog's nose. Squeeze firmly behind the canine or "eye" teeth until the jaw opens Place the pill between the thumb and forefinger of your dominant hand. Use the hand's other three fingers to open the lower jaw further. Use a stick to scrape out poop from beneath the tread of your shoe. 5 Place the pill far back in the dog's mouth. Close the mouth. Tilt up the chin. Keep the mouth closed and stroke the throat to help with swallowing. BGive the dog a treat. BE AWARE! Blowing on the nose may stimulate the dog to swallow. Hiding the pill in peanut butter or some other treat the dog covets is the easiest way to administer a pill However, some canines become quite adept at eating the treat and leaving the pill. Use your band to keep the dog's mouth closed after placing the pill in bis mouth. Drag sneaker though grass or over edged curb. Dip shoe bottom into park fountain Page 27 Dry the dog. Emergency Rain Gear 7 Repeat washing, if necessary. This treatment can irritate a dog's skin, so wait at least 48 hours before bathing a second time. Cut or tear holes in a plastic shopping bag for the dog's paws and head. Use a kitchen- or yard-sized bag for larger breeds. Carefully slip the bag over the dog's head, and ease the front and WARNING! Skunk spray consists of the ejected contents of the animal's anal glands. A freshly sprayed canine can transfer the scent to carpet furniture, and anything else he brushes against. The odor can cause nausea and dizziness in humans. THANK YOU Discard the dog's collar or harness. It will spread skunk odor to anything it touches and isn't worth the extensive offort it would take HAVE A NICE DAY to deodorize it. back paws through the Skunks can carry rabies. Examine your pet for bites holes. How To GIVE A DoG CPR Position the dog on her side. The back is better for barrel-chested breeds. Make sure the dog is on a firm surface. 2 Kneel next to the dog. B Compress the chest. For small dogs, place your palm and fingertips over the ribs at the point where the elbow meets the chest. Compress the chest approximately one inch, twice per second. Alternate every five compressions with one breath. For medium to large dogs, extend your elbows and cup your hands on top of each other. Place hands over the ribs at the point where the dog's elbows meet the chest; then compress it two to three inches, two times per second. Alternate every five com pressions with one breath. For dogs that weigh more than 100 pounds, compress the chest two or three inches once per second, alternating every 10 compressions with a breath. How To GET RiD oF SKUNK ODOR ON YOUR Doc Keep the dog outside. 2 Flush the dog's eyes with water. 4 Check for a hearthbeat. 3 Change your clothes and remove jewelry. The compound used to remove skunk odor 4 ric and, in contact with metals, irritate skin. After one minute, listen for a heartbeat. If none is found, continue with compressions. discolor fab- can 4 Prepare special odor-removing wash. Mix 1 quart of 3 percent hydrogen peroxide with 4 cup of baking soda and 1 teaspoon of liquid dish soap. Ingredients will bubble furiously when combined. This quantity is suf- ficient for a medium-sized dog. A larger canine may need To give artificial respiration, tilt the dog's bead back, place hand around the muzzle, put your mouth over the nose, and breathe into the dog's more. 5 Apply mixture immediately. Use the odor-removing compound while still foaming, as this is when it is most effective. Place dog in bathtub or outdoor tub and work mixture into fur, avoiding mouth and cyes. Leave for several minutes or until the foaming stops, then rinse thoroughly. Reapply if odor persists. nose. K YO A NICE novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07
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Feeling ambivalent about the blessing to read but the curse of reading this: When I was like 12 I bought one of those teen, pre teen ish magazines that were just getting popular, but this was before they got half way decent, this was like a small magazine in a non english speaking country whose cover story was an obviously fake four page personal interview with justin bieber. and they had a bunch of diet recipes and fashion tips. but the Real TeaTM the reason people bought it was for the anonymous write in stories and questions. you know stuff like "I got my period today in school and it fucking sucked ass" or like "am I gay if x?" and "my boyfriend cheated how do i get the best revenge?", but like i read this One story yall, and I havent bought a magazine since. So this girl, shes like 15, she goes on this camping trip with her school and they stay in cabins and bunk beds, with 6 students per room and a teacher down the hall. So this girl and her friends decide to have a little fun one night, so they share a bottle of vodka and smoke a pack of cigarettes out the window, bunch of fun and what not, and they keep it down to not tip off the teacher and then they go to bed, simple as that. But this girl right she drunk as a stinky ass skunk and wakes up a bit later, still the middle of the night and she has to take a shit. But she is so fucking hammered, and if she starts down the hallway at fuck O'clock at night peeping through doors there's about a 100 percent chance shes gonna wake the teacher and get fucked. So her drunk ass dumbass fuck ass self decides to take a MotHerfUckiNng LOAD in the paper waste basket in their room! Gobsmacked I know, me too. So next morning all these girls wake up, some of them hungover some of them still drunk, and someone goes "the fuck is that rrrank ass smell" and our main girl here remembers the capital sin she committed in the dead of night and just fucking dies. And these girls divided right, cause some of them simply dont care wanna sleep more, but one of them is opening windows and sniffing around like "it smells like fucking Shit in here." And she gets determined to find out what the fuck, and she gets desperate, going through peoples luggage like is it rotten lunch or what. And then she comes across the paper waste basket. And she fucking SCREAMS yall and then world war three breaks out like "theres a HUMAN SHIT in the waste basket!" "Who THE FUCK SHAT in This Room while WE slept?!" And the screaming obviously attracts the teacher who comes in in pjs like "what in the ever loving cabin trip is happening with yallses at the booty crack of dawn?" And they're like "someone literally SHAT in the waste basket!" And the teacher is NOT okay with this. Like this is Not acceptable behaviour. Nope no m-m. She decides they're going to figure out who committed this absolute atrocity. And she figures, who ever did this clearly didn't wipe, so who ever got shit in their underwear must've been The One. So everyone shows their underwear and our girl is the only one with a brown line. The end. Mortified, traumatised, horrified. And that was the first and last time I bought a magazine. And girl, if you out there, my heart goes out to you and I hope you've recovered better from this than I have. Tl;dr: I only ever bought one magazine in my life cause the first one contained a story about a girl who shat in the trash on a school trip and I never got over it. #true story Feeling ambivalent about the blessing to read but the curse of reading this
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this was published in my high school's newspaper circa 2013: r's Den : BA BA BA BAAA.. RAVING This Easter will be an Easter to remember Everything from sea to sea must and will be rabbitfied or bunny fied Replace every ahimal with a rabbit, replace the people with larger rabbits and even replace buildings and cars with extremely large rabbits Everything will be composed of rabbits, even coffee mugs and ovens Water itseif will just be microscopic rabbits moving together in the form of a liquid even though they are a solid are Putting aside the craziness, Easter is a time to remember one of the most special days of the year. On this day ten thousand years ago the fire nation attacked! Our ancestors came down from the heavens in giant mechanized rabbits to colonize a new planet. This planet however was actually already home to a race of giant monsters. Our ancestors battled these monsters for dominance of this planet. These monsters would later evolve into what we call today, Leprechauns. Elves. Ogres and their most vile leader, Cupid. He gains his power though love and sunshine!!!1 THE MONSTER Jean-Francois (Pronounced Jan-Furansowa) is amazing, he's a blue cabbit which is a great idea for hybridization If you have no idea what I'm talking about, look it up, you people have laptops. While on the topic of things to look up there was a misspelling in the last Racine rants. When 1 was talking about a rabbit who had a glowing foot and who was dating an opossum, I was not talking about myself but referencing a character from a ut ate e comic I like Enough of the Matter Now its time to remember all the great rabbits that have served our nation and brought us to this point, Bugs Bunny, Roger Rabbit. Anais Watterson (Amazing World of Gumball), Babs Bunny (Tiny Toons), Boingo (Hoodwink), Buster Baxter (Author), Buster Bunny (Tiny Toons), E. Aster Bunnymund (Rise of the Guardians). Hare-ham (Monster Ranchers), Mr. Herriman (Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends), Jumpy Ghostface (Hero 108), Lexi Bunny (Loonitics Unleashed), Lola Bunny, Oswald the Lucky Rabbit (Mickey Mouse), Rabbit (Skunk Fu), Rancid Rabbit (Cat Dog), Richard Watterson (AWG), Thumper (Bambi), Mr. Whiskers (Brandy and Mr. Whiskers). Yin and Yang (Ying Yang Yo), Yoyo, Bunnie Rabbot (Sonic the Hedgehog), Captain Carrot (DC). Hoppy the Marvel Bunny(Shazam), Kevin Dewclaw (Kevin and Kell), Max (Sam & Max), Mokona Modoki, Harvey (Harvey), March Hare (Alice in Wonderland), Are You Still Reading This, Peter Rabbit, Rabbit (Winnie the Pooh), White Rabbit (Alice in Wonderland), Raving Rabbits, Bonnie Bunny, Springtrap "Animatronics", Cream & Vanilla (Sonic), Lopmon (Digimon), Peppy (StarFox), Trix, Energizer, Nesquik, Ryo- Ohki "actually a cabbit" (Tenchi), Bunery (Pokemon), Black Rabbit (PCFAW), Jackalope, and The Easter Bunny Thanks to modern day science and also a little bit of magic/alchemy the greatest of all food inventions: THE HARD BOILED EGG. The reason we color these eggs is to hide the fact that we are eating the Giant Chicken Deity's young, If the giant chicken deity finds out it will hateh out of the moon and will spread war and destruction across the face of the earth Remember to color those eggs children!! Also don't forget to leave plenty of candy and corn juice near your chimney or else the Easte Beagle will leave a rotten egg in your stocking,, but that's a storry for another day May everyone have a happy Easter, unless Easter already happened, then happy previous and future Easters Iorana*!!! Rapa Nui for hello, good morning and goodbye. have ourselves this was published in my high school's newspaper circa 2013
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