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It Was Not Your Fault
It Was Not Your Fault

It Was Not Your Fault

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Be Like, Shit, and Smell: transpeter-deactivated20180411 i'm happy that mcu peter's spidey sense isn't being shown as a miracle worker, like i'm happy peter's sense went off to danger that was laughably close to peter. people have this misconception (mainly due to the 2002 spidey films) that his spidey sense will give peter a heads up to threats wayyyyy in advance, but that's not the case. like there have been many times when peter's spidey sense doesn't really alert him to danger until the danger is really close, sometimes close enough that regular people have already noticed said danger. and even then, peter often ignores it bc it can go off to things that aren't necessarily a threat but COULD be. like a wad of paper being thrown at him by flash, a puddle on the floor that could make him slip. so sometimes peter just ignores it bc it goes off all the time to shit that really isn't that dangerous. the sense is basically like a really reliable, and sometimes annoying, gut-feeling. the spidey sense is so cool but it's still a sense not that different from sight or hearing or taste or touch, and it isn't all powerful or always very helpful % transpeter So basically spider sense just gave peter anxiety. honestly i never thought of it like that but yeah basically jfhfhdhd super anxiety romentical radioactive spider: look! i made a superhero! the avengers: you fucked up a perfectly good teenager is what you did. look at him. he's got anxiety % starkologist I sense a faint smell of danger and-chaos-ensues This isn't your average, every-day anxiety This is Advanced Anxiety Spidey Sense
Ass, Bitch, and Fucking: dick-rider-dave-strider: strangelyobsessedwithstuff: vialsofbrightforgettingpowders: ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN SO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH. NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED. PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITH A BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE. NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS POST FOR AGESthanks for the tip karkat reference
Secret, Bruce Wayne, and Rare: BATMA In a rare moment of weakness, Bruce Wayne accidentally lets his secret slip.

In a rare moment of weakness, Bruce Wayne accidentally lets his secret slip.

Ass, Beer, and Condom: 41 .d 70% 1:17 AM Saturday 1140 PM all i want to know is if that pic is photoshopped oh fuck wait the rest of them are i didn't even notice that Or maybe l actually died in a selfie related shark attack In 2018 anything's possible fr tho you got some quality photoshop skills Though my usual Tinder claim to fame is my poetry writing Gimme a format pick between Shakespearean sonnet or Dr Seuss poem and then l'd need a topic oh shit seuss for sure write aboutittt stupid frat boys Today 1:13 AM At Who University's campus downtown, studious students awaited sundown For during the day they're the learning ish sort. but after night fell? Watch Fraternity At Sigma Ki Kappa Phi Epsilon Nu a Vineyard-Vine chino store stepped into view A stack of red cups looming tall on his the Cat in the Frat prowled for Whogirls He saw a lone girl and assessed her cup size and then, in this order, gawked ass, chest and eyes He waltzed in on over and offered her and said "come with me, oh the places you'll cum! They snuck to a bedroom and passed Mister Grinch whose hazing machine dragged six pledges by winch. Its arms and its knobs fed the pledges and doubly increased their fraternity Just by the hazing in haze of his own, the Lorax sat still undeniably stoned. A pledge wandered up.. 'there's something I need. The Lorax did smile: 1 speak for the We ve got Xannys and Mollys and cocaine galore and ketamine, mushrooms and DMT-4 There's indicas, indigos, everywhich and every eigth bought, have a free hit of speed Horton popped pills called Pill 1 and Pill and then followed up with Pill Red and Pill Blue His world washed away as he tripped for three hours hearing small voices that spoke from puff fiowers. The Cat in the Frat roled off well what's-her-name and let her slip out with red visible He looked at his sheets and saw stains left by beer, and thought should I was them? Oh, maybe next year He'd wanted a girl from each stop on Srat Row with Ki Frappa Sig down just five more to go, He put back the condom he told her he'd wear And then set on foot for the cleanup The party had ended and Whos had gone home, with red cup footsteps creaking sticky beer foam Sprawled on the floor was that poor Sam I Am, and someone's puked-up rancid green eggs and ham. The Cat in the Frat called the cleaning which rolled and ka-sputtered its way through the scene Its arms and gloved hands dusted swept, and wipe dried and even did know to turn Sam on his At Sigma Ki Kappa Phi Epsilon Nu, The party lifecycle began thus anew. Tuesday was done and yet Wednesday drew near... The Cat had to run and go buy some more beer THAT WAS FUCKING AMAZING OH MY FUCKINF GOD I LVOE YOU Type a message Frat Life