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Africa, House, and Snake: Aurora House Snake (Lamprophis aurora) - a harmless constrictor from Cape Town, South Africa.

Aurora House Snake (Lamprophis aurora) - a harmless constrictor from Cape Town, South Africa.

Alive, Animals, and Bad: mithsonian smithchan.com/monsters nake CHANNELmanstersrake 02012 SNUSI Networks LL.C. All rights reserved Smithson legitimatelala: lokiwtf: gallizfrey: anneriawings: siphersaysstuff: honey-andrevolution: sashayed: silvermoon424: poppypicklesticks: billybatsonandjameshowlettsbro: cosmicallycosmopolitan: billybatsonandjameshowlettsbro: james-winston: The Titanoboa, is a 48ft long snake dating from around 60-58million years ago. It had a rib cage 2ft wide, allowing it to eat whole crocodiles, and surrounding the ribcage were muscles so powerful that it could crush a rhino. Titanoboa was so big it couldn’t even spend long amounts of time on land, because the force of gravity acting on it would cause it to suffocate under its own weight. I’m so glad they aren’t around omg me too. I’m scared enough of 26 ft long anacondas. I’m so happy Megalodons, those giant sharks, aren’t alive either Praise natural selection I remember watching Walking with Beasts or something similar, or some British tv show about evolution The subject was something like a 12 foot long water scorpion I was so startled by its sudden appearance and narration that I yelped: “12 fucking feet?!?!  I’m fucking glad it’s extinct!”  Dude, prehistory was home to some fucking TERRIFYING creatures. For some reason, everything back then was enormous and scary. Extinction doesn’t always have to be a bad thing! And Poppy, what you saw was an arthropod known as Pterygotus (it was actually featured in Walking With Monsters). Not only was it as big (or maybe even bigger) than your average human, it had a stinger the size of a lightbulb. REALLY glad that bugger isn’t around anymore. Also, Megalodon deserves to be mention again, because just hearing its name makes me want to never be submerged in water ever again. GOD, I HATE THIS POST. HOW DO WE EVEN KNOW THAT SHIT ISN’T STILL AROUND? LURKING? EVOLVING? WE DON’T. WE DON’T KNOW SHIT ABOUT SHIT DOWN THERE. THE OCEAN IS A PRIMEVAL HELLSCAPE NIGHTMARE AND WE ALL JUST DIP OUR STUPID FRAGILE UNPROTECTED FETUS BODIES AROUND THE EDGES OF IT LIKE THAT’S NORMAL. FUCK THE OCEAN. this is so relevant to my interests  It wasn’t just the predators. North Carolina was once home to giant ground sloths… THAT IS A GODDAMNED LEAF-EATING SLOTH. We’ve got a skeleton of one of these fuckers at the museum downtown, and man, just being NEAR it is unsettling. DON’T FORGET PREHISTORIC WHALES, SOME OF THOSE FUCKERS WERE TERRIFYING AMBULOCETUS WAS AMPHIBIOUS AND PRETTY BADASS BASILOSAURUS WAS THIS GIANT REPTILIAN CETACEAN THAT PROBABLY SWAM LIKE A DUMB EEL BECAUSE OF ITS TINY FLUKES BUT THIS FUCKER WAS 60 FEET LONG AND AT THE TOP OF THE MARINE FOOD CHAIN AND THEN THERE’S MY FAVORITE, ZYGOPHYSETER, WHICH WAS THIS HUGE EARLY SPERM WHALE THAT ATE SHARKS AND OTHER WHALES IT WAS NOTHING BUT TEETH The reason why the animals in the prehistoric times were so big was because there was much more oxygen in the atmosphere if I recall correctly. Because there was so much oxygen and so few carbon gasses, life on earth was able to grow to terrifying lengths and heights, don’t forget how giant the bugs were. I have never seen so much prime nope in a single post *Goes on Tumblr at 5am to help me go back to sleep for a bit longer* *Never sleeps again* Dammit I was born to late for all the fun
Tumblr, Blog, and Http: drakatha: kengriffey-jr: smileythesnake: NO YOU CANT DO THAT Play us a tune Jazz Man theres a snake in my flute

drakatha: kengriffey-jr: smileythesnake: NO YOU CANT DO THAT Play us a tune Jazz Man theres a snake in my flute

7-Eleven, A Dream, and Basketball: 221biotchplease: leaveittotegan: lumnie: chemisquid: dippersballoon: I saw an opportunity and I took it This is what they mean when they say life flashes before your eyes as you die For those wondering, the song is ”Mr. Blue Sky” by ELO. Perhaps someone beat me to it, but here are ALL of the featured vines, in order of appearance: I won’t hesitate bitch Hi my name is Tre and I have a basketball game tomorrow Whaddup, I’m Jared I’m 19 and I never fucking learned how 2 read Kermit the Frog jumps off building Fr e sh a voca do back at it again at Krispy Kreme There is only one thing worse than a rapist Club Jam (yes a really good book) At least the taco was free I am the Sand Guardian, guardian of the sand Grandma loves ping pong too much If your name is Junior Welcome to Target I’m just cooking pizza Cole Sprouse dress-up game On all levels except physical, I am a Wolf Kid hits ceiling of gym with rope (breaking free) Kid smacked by fly swatter Fuck it up Kenneth (my boy going to school) Um I’m not finished (Tyler the Creator) WE’RE BREAKING FREE SAIL I’m Squidward So I’m sitting there, barbecue sauce on my tiddies So no head? (breaking skateboard) Actually, Megan (I can’t sit anywhere) No off topic questions (Chris Christie) What the fuck, Richard Drop it like it’s hot (its just luke) Bored as shiiiiii Liberian accent (plasma globe) New haircut (Parker Kit Hill) Summertime sadness (chicken) More like hurricane TORTILLA I got an a-bor-tion All Around the World (TheJasminator) When there’s a cutie next to you at a red light Snake licks lollipop Accept yourself, love yourself Be whatever you wanna be Don’t touch Zac’s music (LENARR) Whoever threw that paper, your mom’s a ho Can I please get a waffle? Turn off the flash you fucking moron (Star Wars) Ebony Jenkins (shut up!) Kevin, watch the light dude Horse meditation A girl a dream a clothing hanger Is that a weed? (911 microwave) Helium balloons (floating car) Fireplace fairy I’m your freestyle dance teacher I can’t believe you’ve done this Which way the Quiznos is Impossible paper toss shot Hemtube (dancing with cat) I nurture my skin (Shaq) Why are you running Happy birthday? Thicker than a bowl of oatmeal (courtroom) Farkle falling Fuck you (soda machine) Squash banana (the branch I was holding broke) Take On Me And now my sock is wet (water gun) All I ever wanted was some motherfuckin guala When there’s too much drama at school Two bros chillin in the Hot Tub What’s your name? (ouija board) Chillary Clinton (chillin in Cedar Rapids) Guy drops slurpee (7-Eleven) Girl scared of convertible car Guy who is self-conscious about his lisp (Rice Krispies Treats) Would you like the spider on your hand? Shopping cart crash We actually have the chip reader now I’M A GIRAFFE Dinner with Zayn Malik (Chihuahua eating spaghetti) I HOPE IT’S HELPFUL TO SOMEONE! Peace ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°) this gave me such a warm feeling i legit teared up no joke BEAUTY
Anime, God, and Head: English tests in 30 years, "QUESTION 5: What is the meaning of this meme?" wuackamole: icoree: unexpectedones: drowningxlessons: I literally heard the sentence in my head and it’s proof positive that this has evolved into its own language This meme primarily refers to the movie Toy Story, in which the toy cowboy, Woody, has a soundbox that sometimes says, “There’s a snake in my boot,” when the string on his back is pulled. The meme is from an anime and with no edits, the image shows a boy gesturing to a butterfly with a caption reading, “Is this a pigeon?”. It is commonly overlaid with other words or images in order to denote a change in who is speaking, what the speaker thinks the object they are gesturing at may be, and what the object actually is. This particular version of the meme, however, the image at the bottom, where the caption would normally be located, is another meme commonly known by the contemporary meme-makers and -viewers as the “free real estate” meme, due to the phrase the man uses in the advertisement from which the meme originates: “It’s free real estate.” Putting all these broken-down aspects of the meme together, we can translate the meme into written words. The snake gestures to the cowboy boots and thinks, “Is this free real estate?” noting its cluelessness in regards to the fact that it likely should not slither into Woody the cowboy’s boot. you’re a god I couldn’t put this into words but I understand perfectly

wuackamole: icoree: unexpectedones: drowningxlessons: I literally heard the sentence in my head and it’s proof positive that this has ev...