🔥 Popular | Latest

Ash, Bad, and Chill: Sat, Jun 22, 18:36 Hello traveller, I am your guide. Are you ready to begin your quest? Hello stranger, what do I need to do, to complete your request. You have to recover a long time lost manuscript held by a famous necromancer. Your journey begins in a forest. The left of you is a mountain with a large boulder blocking it's entrance, in front of you is an ancient graveyard. Some of the greatest heroes of the realm rest there I would like to investigate the grave- yard of it looks chill or haunted. Not strong enough to push that boulder As you enter the graveyard you notice old tombstones crumbling, scribed in language too ancient to be known by any living creature. While searching around you find a crypt, the front door has been knocked open, you can hear a soft gust of wind coming from inside. I copy the ancient text, best as possible. I use 'produce flame' when I enter the crypt. As you go in the light from your spell fills the room, you notice the coffins that adorn the walls and a spiral staircase that leads further down, at the bottom of it lies a large room, broken pillars, and a statue of Sild, the Warlock. A very powerful wizard from centuries past. Further away, with barely any light around it, you see a creature in a black robe facing away, as it ignores you on purpouse. There's a corpse on an alter in front of it, and it's hands deep inside it As I enter the room I go "excuuuuuse me, but it's not nice to sacrifice people" en hold my flame ready to attack if he would attack me... The creature in black turns annoyed by your interference, you see a beetle crawl out of it's eye socket, it's deformed face makes your stomach sick, as you think that eating all those fries before entering a graveyard was a bad idea. A purple light starts forming as he moves his hands together With a quick look around you notice a large floating orb 3 meters above the creature's head. You remember the old legend of Sild's orb, which he used teleport anywhere in the world. Nasty! God damn it those fries! I shoot my flame to the orb so the bug guy can't escape. And pull out my scimitar ready to attack As your flame hits, the orb shatters into what seems to be glass spikes, flying everywhere, further damaging the room. Some hit the creature, tearing his black robes just to reveal pieces of rotting flesh. The stench of death takes over the room, you can't hold those fries anymore, as you make an effort to not puke onto your brand new heels -and you hear your own voice in your head WHY WOULD YOU GO INTO A GRAVEYARD USING HEELS WOMAN ? As you get distracted, the creature fires his spell, you quickly block it with your scimitar, but it flies away from your hand. You are disarmed and the creature starts running in your direction "I DON'T I WANTED SOMETHING DIFFERENT THEN THE USUAL SNEAKERS as I replied to my own question. I take them of hold them as a weapon ready to defend myself against the ugly bug dude. And try to figure out if I can back to my scimitar. As you dual-wield your brand new puke-free heels you notice a two fast moving shadows moving behind the creature. Desperation starts to hit as you are outnumbered and your scimitar is nowhere to be seen, suddenly the shadows jump onto the creatures head and start attacking him. IT'S YOUR FAMILIARS, your thank yourself for installing that catdoor years ago. The creature loses balance just as it reaches you, slipping and faceplanting your puddle fries and cola that rested on the floor. You plunge it's head with both heels. It explodes and the creature slowly starts turning into ashes... You give a well deserved pet to them. The comforting purring sounds fills the room, you feel safe now. One of your familiars starts digging into the ash pile, as he found something of value there. IT'S A FORTUNE COOKIE! I go like "Oooh cookie!" I break it open and eat the cookie while I read. And also keep petting them, like a good rub under the chin. You slowly chew the cookie, the slight chocolate taste is well welcome at this moment, unravel the note, and it says , hit me up for fries & movies sometime. Sept Her profile said she was into RPGs

Her profile said she was into RPGs

Save
Apparently, Bad, and Children: the "police officers risk their lives to protect us" starter pack Savannah Danielle lol who knew there was something wrong with actually having a car, a nice house and a clean put together family who lives in a safe community while spending your hard earned money on paying your bills rather then expensive sneakers and supporting the authorities of the neighborhood you take pride in Like Reply 11 minutes ago living-for-fiction: unbossed: theflowerfish: saaavx0h: jaime-foxxx: OKAY BUT SOME OFFICERS ACTUALLY DO RISK THEIR FUCKING LIVES. It’s cute how tumblr users are liike “ahhh not all _____ people” but when it’s cops, they’re all awful apparently. Good god.  yes they do and it’s a shame some people don’t recognize or appreciate that! Cops who don’t check and report explicitly bad cops are not good cops. The culture of the blue wall of silence logically makes it so that cops are inherently bad, not good. The good cops who do report their constituents get labeled as rats and get harassed by other cops for snitching or even lose their jobs. The police are nothing more than a glorified gang. Come live in the communities that the police continuously harass, brutalize, and murder then let me know how you feel. Come hang in Philly for a minute, get a taste of how it feels to have the cops hold a magnifying glass over you. Ask my friend who got shot while delivering pizza in Southwest Philly by plainclothes officers who never identified themselves how it felt to have a bullet removed from his face. Or head to Camden where the cops don’t even respond to calls in these communities, and if they do they just show up to beat and arrest the people there. Go to Washington Heights in NYC where they stop and frisk mostly black and Latino men, even though almost 90% of those searches end up with nothing (stats available on NYPD website). Imagine a world where you get stopped and harassed by the police because of where you live or how you look, regardless of whether you’re innocent or not. Then tell me how much you just loooooove the police. Y'all don’t see shit over that white picket fence of yours, do you? The “good cop” going by the book will use violence to evict a homeless family from their car if they’re parked illegally. The “good cop” going by the book will use violence to arrest them, tearing the children from their parents, if they try to sleep in a foreclosed home left empty by the bank as a tax write-off. The “good cop” going by the book will use violence to keep that family from eating food that grocery stores and restaurants throw away in their locked dumpsters. The “good cop” going by the book will use violence to enforce even the most unjust law. And badge lickers will always try to justify the injustice. For the people who missed the point, this post doesn’t say that cops never risk their lives - it’s inviting you to take a good long look at the characteristics of the people they DO protect and risk their lives for, and note that there is a huge disparity in how cops treat people based on race, socioeconomic status, etc. Also I love it when people use “coppin’ is DANGEROUS” to handwave the numerous civil rights violations cops are routinely guilty of in the process of “just following orders”. Plenty of jobs are dangerous. Plenty of jobs are more dangerous than being a cop. But cops seem to be the main ones stomping around demanding endless respect and unquestioning obedience just because their “job is dangerous”.
Save
Beer, Confidence, and Driving: Friendly to the point that you become suspicious of their intent. 1. Americans generally are more confident in the way they present themselves, most other countries tend to be more reserved. Walk into a room full of different nationalities, l guarantee the American person will be the first to introduce themselves. It's a confidence thing, and I admire it. 2. 3. When they use the imperial system. 4. Wearing sneakers with anything 5. Big smiles, firm handshakes Using big adjectives generously ("Wow, your aunt's kidney stones sound awesome!" or "This Euroshopper beer tastes great!") 6. Mostly it's the 'prepared for anything' look they have about them (fanny pack, backpack bottled water, camera pouch) compared to various other tourists Asians tend to herd together for safety, while Europeans vary between blend-right-in Scandinavian to designer-brands-everywhere French and traffic-laws-are-for-others Italian. But Americans are the only ones who seem to view a perfectly civilized, modern city like some kind of uncharted jungle that doesn't have places to shelter in the rain or buy cheap bottled water. 7. They say 'great' and are not being sarcastic. I can't even begin to imagine making a sentence where great actually means great. 8. 9. Constant clapping. Being surprised about the topless models on page 3. 10. Speaking as a former barman or "bartender" as American customers would say... tipping! No British person will ever tip a barman. l'll occasionally get bought a drink by drunk ladies or gents, but Brits actually giving me money for doing a job that I was already being paid for? Never happened. I would listen for American accents (which were easy to hear due to their natural loudness) and immediately serve them next. 11. Americans describe distances in driving time, as opposed to miles or kilometers. 12. The dead giveaway is when they call you "honey" or "sweetie" or "darling" 13. 14. North face jackets. Everywhere. Incredibly loud but incredibly friendly. Very often you can hear them before you see them 15. theultimatepumpkinpie: notasupersaiyan-yet: built2bulk: berserkerjerk: pr1nceshawn: Giveaways that someone is American, as told by non-Americans. Accurate. This is oddly comforting. Idk why I was expecting a list of negative shit We do do these things a lot and it’s so nice to hear them in a positive light because so often I feel like we’re hated on. Never in my life have I had someone from another country call us friendly. They always say we’re loud and obnoxious (not that that’s not true, it often can be). It’s such a relief to hear something else.
Save
Anaconda, At-At, and Bailey Jay: 100% facebook.com Hey everyone! Who's ready for Hawaii 2019? In anticipation of the wedding, and believe me, I know it's a longgg way away...but I would still like to announce the dress code! I am giving you a long notice of a year and a half so that you will have time to find and pick out something nice : The dress code is very specific because it will be used to create an incredible visual effect. If done right, it will make our synchronized dancing along the beach really pop SO, without further adoo WOMEN (100-160 LBS) GREEN Velvet Sweater ORANGE Suede Pants -Loubotin heels (the famous RED heeled shoes. when we spin and lift our feet, the effect will amaze you) -Burberry Scarf MEN (100-200 LBS) PURPLE Fuzzy Jacket Soda Hat All White Trainers -Plain Glow Sticks WOMEN (160 LBS +) -all BLACK sweater and pants. Any material -BLACK heels MEN (200 LBS+) -all CAMOFLAGE BLACK sneakers CHILDREN RED from head to toe. Remember the kids will form the shape of a heart, it needs to be true red not blood orange or some bullshit! Additionally, we will require that you wear formal attire after the dancing has ended. Please bring a change of clothing. Remember, the venue is extremely upscale, and we want to be looking our absolute BEST ladies and gents please, if you look like trash, so will we. All jokes aside, we want you to invest in an outfit valued at at least $1,000. This includes jewlery, accessories, makeup, and hair. Remember ladies and gents, this wedding is 24k themed for a reasorn You have a year and a half to get working. No excuses! Mwana beyoncescock: vorecrimes: charybdis-sans-fond: imsuchacapricorn: imsuchacapricorn: caffeinatedcorvid: lady-caryatid: daffodyke: doctormemes: symmetraismygf: squeezemetillipop: hornsandblackwool: Are straight white people okay???? What is this?! People like this exist. Interesting. this story has a part 2 THERE IS A PART 3 WITH GUEST RESPONSES I REPEAT THERE IS A PART 3 THIS IS NOT A DRILL I thought things couldn’t get more horrifyingly amusing than the woman who wanted people to pay $1000 each to go to her wedding so she could “feel like a Kardashian for a day” and had a Facebook breakdown about it saying she was gonna go backpacking in Peru to “find herself” after being “betrayed” by her friends who didn’t want to partake but here we are I thought it was the same person ngl. I’m in the wedding shaming group and saw both this and the Peru post before it went viral. Love it. THERE’S AN UPDATE Stephanie is a true hero. my favorite thing about this update is that the fact that we are even SEEING this means there’s AT LEAST one other snitch in the party that she hasn’t caught yet keep the updates coming please
Save
Anaconda, At-At, and Bailey Jay: 100% facebook.com Hey everyone! Who's ready for Hawaii 2019? In anticipation of the wedding, and believe me, I know it's a longgg way away...but I would still like to announce the dress code! I am giving you a long notice of a year and a half so that you will have time to find and pick out something nice : The dress code is very specific because it will be used to create an incredible visual effect. If done right, it will make our synchronized dancing along the beach really pop SO, without further adoo WOMEN (100-160 LBS) GREEN Velvet Sweater ORANGE Suede Pants -Loubotin heels (the famous RED heeled shoes. when we spin and lift our feet, the effect will amaze you) -Burberry Scarf MEN (100-200 LBS) PURPLE Fuzzy Jacket Soda Hat All White Trainers -Plain Glow Sticks WOMEN (160 LBS +) -all BLACK sweater and pants. Any material -BLACK heels MEN (200 LBS+) -all CAMOFLAGE BLACK sneakers CHILDREN RED from head to toe. Remember the kids will form the shape of a heart, it needs to be true red not blood orange or some bullshit! Additionally, we will require that you wear formal attire after the dancing has ended. Please bring a change of clothing. Remember, the venue is extremely upscale, and we want to be looking our absolute BEST ladies and gents please, if you look like trash, so will we. All jokes aside, we want you to invest in an outfit valued at at least $1,000. This includes jewlery, accessories, makeup, and hair. Remember ladies and gents, this wedding is 24k themed for a reasorn You have a year and a half to get working. No excuses! Mwana doctormemes: symmetraismygf: squeezemetillipop: hornsandblackwool: Are straight white people okay???? What is this?! People like this exist. Interesting. this story has a part 2 THERE IS A PART 3 WITH GUEST RESPONSES I REPEAT THERE IS A PART 3 THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Save
Clothes, Doctor, and Friends: EMPLOYEE HANDBOOK SICK DAYS We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness.If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work PERSONAL DAYS Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday &Sunday LUNCH BREAK Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Sim Fast DRESS CODE It is advised you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers, and carrying a $600 Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to leam to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise If you dress in-between, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise BEREAVEMENT LEAVE There is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives, or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late aftermoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early RESTROOM USE Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. There is now a strict 3 minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract the stall door will open and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders" category Thank you for your loyaity to our great company We are here to provide a positive employment experience.
Save
Gucci, Meme, and Shoes: LIBERO ogitech marijuanagrandes:We all meme on jjonak and the balenciaga boy’s $800 clown shoes, but may I present to you $650 gucci sneakers wearing Libero. (x)

marijuanagrandes:We all meme on jjonak and the balenciaga boy’s $800 clown shoes, but may I present to you $650 gucci sneakers wearing Liber...

Save