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relyonloveonceinawhile: whoopsrobots: equilateralwaffle: kotsuso: sophygurl: blindly-nostalgic: itseasytoremember: itseasytoremember: itseasytoremember: itseasytoremember: every day the same telemarketing company calls us. I’ve asked to be taken off their calling list, I’ve tried to be civil, I’ve even tried to not answer the phone, yet they’ll keep calling. So now I’ve resorted to making the phones calls as annoying as possible for them. Today I asked the person to hold while I got a pen and paper. As of now, they’ve been waiting 45 minutes. Update: I just asked him if he was still there, then when he said yes i told him i had found a pen but no paper, but that i’m still looking. It’s been an hour. I HAVE LITERALLY BEEN ON TUMBLR AND YOUTUBE WHILE THIS GUY WAITS. IT’S BEEN ALMOST AN HOUR AND A HALF Update: After an hour and 35 minutes I told him that i had found paper, but my pen was dead. He hung up. Ah well, i’ll just do it again tomorrow! You are the future As a former telemarketer, I can tell you that the only reason that guy hung on the line for so long was because he didn’t really want to make any more calls anyway and was probably reading a book or chatting with friends while you pretended to find paper and pen. He was enjoying your mischief as much, if not more, than you were. You literally gave this guy an acceptable reason to take an hour and a half break. You are his hero. He likely only finally hung up because it was officially his break time anyway. He probably told all his co-workers about your call and they’ll be laughing about it for weeks. Holy shit, is this a happy ending to a post where everybody actually wins? ACTUALLY YES because according to parental unit number one, telemarketers get paid by how long they’re on the phone with someone. so you were literally helping this friend get paid by doing absolutely shit vive la resistance Chaotic Good : relyonloveonceinawhile: whoopsrobots: equilateralwaffle: kotsuso: sophygurl: blindly-nostalgic: itseasytoremember: itseasytoremember: itseasytoremember: itseasytoremember: every day the same telemarketing company calls us. I’ve asked to be taken off their calling list, I’ve tried to be civil, I’ve even tried to not answer the phone, yet they’ll keep calling. So now I’ve resorted to making the phones calls as annoying as possible for them. Today I asked the person to hold while I got a pen and paper. As of now, they’ve been waiting 45 minutes. Update: I just asked him if he was still there, then when he said yes i told him i had found a pen but no paper, but that i’m still looking. It’s been an hour. I HAVE LITERALLY BEEN ON TUMBLR AND YOUTUBE WHILE THIS GUY WAITS. IT’S BEEN ALMOST AN HOUR AND A HALF Update: After an hour and 35 minutes I told him that i had found paper, but my pen was dead. He hung up. Ah well, i’ll just do it again tomorrow! You are the future As a former telemarketer, I can tell you that the only reason that guy hung on the line for so long was because he didn’t really want to make any more calls anyway and was probably reading a book or chatting with friends while you pretended to find paper and pen. He was enjoying your mischief as much, if not more, than you were. You literally gave this guy an acceptable reason to take an hour and a half break. You are his hero. He likely only finally hung up because it was officially his break time anyway. He probably told all his co-workers about your call and they’ll be laughing about it for weeks. Holy shit, is this a happy ending to a post where everybody actually wins? ACTUALLY YES because according to parental unit number one, telemarketers get paid by how long they’re on the phone with someone. so you were literally helping this friend get paid by doing absolutely shit vive la resistance Chaotic Good
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non-suspiciousname: libertarirynn: unpopularly-opinionated: invenblocker: unpopularly-opinionated: invenblocker: unpopularly-opinionated: invenblocker: huumesateenvarjo: ruinedchildhood: 💯 This post is fennophobic Stop slandering our precious licorice! Black licorice is awesome so long as it isn’t that salty shit. Are you insulting my salty licorice? Yes. I’ve had salty black licorice before and it’s basically just a large chunk of salt you suck on. It’s good for all of 2-3 seconds before I have to spit it out. And don’t even get me started on black licorice soda. Licorice Soda is icky, but salty black licorice is the perfect snack. I guess I just prefer my sodium intake to come from the tears of my enemies……or that other salty liquid. Once I got an international snack box from like Sweden or something with salted licorice and that shit was the spawn of the devil. It was in my mouth for about three seconds before every part of my body rejected it. You Northern European folks are on some shit. What the fuck is salted licorice Exactly what it sounds like: black licorice caked in salt. it’s a popular treat in Sweden.: non-suspiciousname: libertarirynn: unpopularly-opinionated: invenblocker: unpopularly-opinionated: invenblocker: unpopularly-opinionated: invenblocker: huumesateenvarjo: ruinedchildhood: 💯 This post is fennophobic Stop slandering our precious licorice! Black licorice is awesome so long as it isn’t that salty shit. Are you insulting my salty licorice? Yes. I’ve had salty black licorice before and it’s basically just a large chunk of salt you suck on. It’s good for all of 2-3 seconds before I have to spit it out. And don’t even get me started on black licorice soda. Licorice Soda is icky, but salty black licorice is the perfect snack. I guess I just prefer my sodium intake to come from the tears of my enemies……or that other salty liquid. Once I got an international snack box from like Sweden or something with salted licorice and that shit was the spawn of the devil. It was in my mouth for about three seconds before every part of my body rejected it. You Northern European folks are on some shit. What the fuck is salted licorice Exactly what it sounds like: black licorice caked in salt. it’s a popular treat in Sweden.
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unpopularly-opinionated: invenblocker: unpopularly-opinionated: invenblocker: unpopularly-opinionated: invenblocker: huumesateenvarjo: ruinedchildhood: 💯 This post is fennophobic Stop slandering our precious licorice! Black licorice is awesome so long as it isn’t that salty shit. Are you insulting my salty licorice? Yes. I’ve had salty black licorice before and it’s basically just a large chunk of salt you suck on. It’s good for all of 2-3 seconds before I have to spit it out. And don’t even get me started on black licorice soda. Licorice Soda is icky, but salty black licorice is the perfect snack. I guess I just prefer my sodium intake to come from the tears of my enemies……or that other salty liquid. Once I got an international snack box from like Sweden or something with salted licorice and that shit was the spawn of the devil. It was in my mouth for about three seconds before every part of my body rejected it. You Northern European folks are on some shit.: unpopularly-opinionated: invenblocker: unpopularly-opinionated: invenblocker: unpopularly-opinionated: invenblocker: huumesateenvarjo: ruinedchildhood: 💯 This post is fennophobic Stop slandering our precious licorice! Black licorice is awesome so long as it isn’t that salty shit. Are you insulting my salty licorice? Yes. I’ve had salty black licorice before and it’s basically just a large chunk of salt you suck on. It’s good for all of 2-3 seconds before I have to spit it out. And don’t even get me started on black licorice soda. Licorice Soda is icky, but salty black licorice is the perfect snack. I guess I just prefer my sodium intake to come from the tears of my enemies……or that other salty liquid. Once I got an international snack box from like Sweden or something with salted licorice and that shit was the spawn of the devil. It was in my mouth for about three seconds before every part of my body rejected it. You Northern European folks are on some shit.
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xbrokenxstillx: homosexualfrustration: mycroftismight: nomittens4kittens: mycroftismight: blaperture-mesa: queenofcandyland: why do you hurt me so oh my god why am i tearing up this is ridiculous This is super cute! So, to all of you who are sobbing, let me tell you the truth of the matter. Wooly Bear caterpillars are born in autumn/early winter, and live as far north as the arctic. They freeze over the winter months, completely solid. Then, come spring time, they thaw out, and turn into an Isabella Tiger moth. So this little guy/girl is going to have a very happy memory to dream about over the winter. And you can all stop crying now. :) omg thank you #DID YOU JUST GIVE ME FEELS OVER A CATERPILLAR Wow this has been circulating so long I am so glad we found closure : xbrokenxstillx: homosexualfrustration: mycroftismight: nomittens4kittens: mycroftismight: blaperture-mesa: queenofcandyland: why do you hurt me so oh my god why am i tearing up this is ridiculous This is super cute! So, to all of you who are sobbing, let me tell you the truth of the matter. Wooly Bear caterpillars are born in autumn/early winter, and live as far north as the arctic. They freeze over the winter months, completely solid. Then, come spring time, they thaw out, and turn into an Isabella Tiger moth. So this little guy/girl is going to have a very happy memory to dream about over the winter. And you can all stop crying now. :) omg thank you #DID YOU JUST GIVE ME FEELS OVER A CATERPILLAR Wow this has been circulating so long I am so glad we found closure

xbrokenxstillx: homosexualfrustration: mycroftismight: nomittens4kittens: mycroftismight: blaperture-mesa: queenofcandyland:...

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blastercat: balladofabrokebitch: take-some-vampire-money-bro: something-of-a-hermit: wafflesmcgeesus: gay-emo-quotes: beautifry: petewentzstolemypizza: coldtartsbrewcoldersocks: rnyselfie: themurderscene: and if you turn to ur left you’ll see the emos is that my chemical romance? OH MY GOD not every group of emos is my chemical romance stfu tumblr but it actually is my chemical romance this is the funniest fuckibg thing I’ve ever seen I’ve…. seen this everywhere except on Tumblr itself. It’s the blessed post. I reblog this everytime it comes on my dash and I’m unashamed I’ve waited so long to see this post in person Damn…… What a way 2 start the decade. Ive only seen this post in screenshots……. YOU GUYS  LOOK AT THIS I’m fucking crying  DHSGGDHDHSHS : blastercat: balladofabrokebitch: take-some-vampire-money-bro: something-of-a-hermit: wafflesmcgeesus: gay-emo-quotes: beautifry: petewentzstolemypizza: coldtartsbrewcoldersocks: rnyselfie: themurderscene: and if you turn to ur left you’ll see the emos is that my chemical romance? OH MY GOD not every group of emos is my chemical romance stfu tumblr but it actually is my chemical romance this is the funniest fuckibg thing I’ve ever seen I’ve…. seen this everywhere except on Tumblr itself. It’s the blessed post. I reblog this everytime it comes on my dash and I’m unashamed I’ve waited so long to see this post in person Damn…… What a way 2 start the decade. Ive only seen this post in screenshots……. YOU GUYS  LOOK AT THIS I’m fucking crying  DHSGGDHDHSHS
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ms-demeanor: ms-demeanor: ms-demeanor: jhinnua: ms-demeanor: Hey you know how I said I was going to make a workbook on the kind of bullshit you need to do when someone you love dies? I actually did that. HERE IS THE VERSION WITH LOTS OF SWEARING AT THE USELESS, SHITTY SITUATION YOU’RE IN. HERE IS THE VERSION WITH A FAIR AMOUNT OF BLACK HUMOR BUT NO CURSEWORDS. Featuring Helpful Sections such as: Death Certificates – What you need, why you need them, and how to get them Prepare to spend a long and miserable time on the phone What the Everloving Fuck is Probate Some Simple Dos and Don’ts Shitty Mad Libs – Templates for writing Obituaries and Memorials How to plan a non-religious death party So you suddenly have to become some sort of hacker or some shit This is an eighteen page book that you can print out, download, share, and give away; it is meant to be used to collect information about funeral planning and account management after a death OR you can use it BEFORE you die and give people information so they’re not stuck playing Nancy Fucking Drew while trying to keep seventeen cousins who crawled out of the woodwork from gutting each other in front of the fucking casket as they argue about who’s inheriting grandma’s favorite dentures. It’s not exactly cheerful and it’s full of things that are probably going to feel really fucking raw if you’re processing a fresh death. I’m sorry! I love you! Death is shitty! I’m trying to laugh about it a little and I hope you can laugh a little too because otherwise we’re all just going to cry together. Good luck! (in memory of my weirdo mother and her weirdo siblings who all died too fucking young and left me holding this flaming bag of dogshit) @ms-demeanor Tumblr wont let me message you privately, so is it ok if I share this to my FB page? The business I am in wants information like this to be public knowledge, but it’s still a business so I don’t want to post without permission. YES, please share it! And actually facebook blocks links to my blog for some reason so I have no problem with you just straight-up copy/pasting the PDF links! Credit me if you want (”@ms-demeanor on tumblr” is fine) but you don’t even have to. Just share it and spread it I want people to have an easier time of things! I’m universally  OK if people share these links so long as you’re not selling the booklet. I’m actually even okay if someone prints up a bunch of these and hands them out so long as they’re handed out for free. Also I want to make this point: I was very lucky. I had talked to my mom about her death plans and she and my dad have had their cremations planned and paid for for 25 years (Neptune Society baybee). I got lucky, we had talked about a book like this and she had started writing down passwords. I got lucky, she never took my advice about putting a passcode on her phone. But things were still harder than they needed to be. We’d talked about a death planning workbook because I’d found one on Amazon and we both thought it would be a good idea to fill it out because she was sick. I just never scrounged together $26.00 in the time between when we talked about it and when she died. You know what’s better than regretting that you couldn’t afford a death workbook? A FREE DEATH WORKBOOK. I mean, I don’t begrudge the authors of other death books their pay. I’m sure the other books are more comprehensive than mine and maybe some of them do a decent job of explaining probate. But death is expensive and living ain’t cheap. This is free explicitly because there are tons of people (though certainly not everyone involved) who will bypass compassion in order to profit off of the death industry and I want you to have at least this one thing that’s there for you free, as a gift, as something given to you for the sole purpose of making this easier on you in a time when every step is going to be expensive and difficult. This is free, no charge. All I ask is that, if possible, you share it with someone else who needs it and that you tell somebody you love that you love them. Hey all if you’re new here because of the firefox post or the browser wars post or the bastardous positivity post please consider downloading the free book I made about what to do when someone dies because you know what this is sad and shit but things are going to be much easier for you if you know the level of bullshit you’re going to be dealing with. : So You're Confronting Your Own Mortality or Preparing for the End or Some Dipshit Up and Died and Now I'm Stuck Dealing With This Mess ms-demeanor: ms-demeanor: ms-demeanor: jhinnua: ms-demeanor: Hey you know how I said I was going to make a workbook on the kind of bullshit you need to do when someone you love dies? I actually did that. HERE IS THE VERSION WITH LOTS OF SWEARING AT THE USELESS, SHITTY SITUATION YOU’RE IN. HERE IS THE VERSION WITH A FAIR AMOUNT OF BLACK HUMOR BUT NO CURSEWORDS. Featuring Helpful Sections such as: Death Certificates – What you need, why you need them, and how to get them Prepare to spend a long and miserable time on the phone What the Everloving Fuck is Probate Some Simple Dos and Don’ts Shitty Mad Libs – Templates for writing Obituaries and Memorials How to plan a non-religious death party So you suddenly have to become some sort of hacker or some shit This is an eighteen page book that you can print out, download, share, and give away; it is meant to be used to collect information about funeral planning and account management after a death OR you can use it BEFORE you die and give people information so they’re not stuck playing Nancy Fucking Drew while trying to keep seventeen cousins who crawled out of the woodwork from gutting each other in front of the fucking casket as they argue about who’s inheriting grandma’s favorite dentures. It’s not exactly cheerful and it’s full of things that are probably going to feel really fucking raw if you’re processing a fresh death. I’m sorry! I love you! Death is shitty! I’m trying to laugh about it a little and I hope you can laugh a little too because otherwise we’re all just going to cry together. Good luck! (in memory of my weirdo mother and her weirdo siblings who all died too fucking young and left me holding this flaming bag of dogshit) @ms-demeanor Tumblr wont let me message you privately, so is it ok if I share this to my FB page? The business I am in wants information like this to be public knowledge, but it’s still a business so I don’t want to post without permission. YES, please share it! And actually facebook blocks links to my blog for some reason so I have no problem with you just straight-up copy/pasting the PDF links! Credit me if you want (”@ms-demeanor on tumblr” is fine) but you don’t even have to. Just share it and spread it I want people to have an easier time of things! I’m universally  OK if people share these links so long as you’re not selling the booklet. I’m actually even okay if someone prints up a bunch of these and hands them out so long as they’re handed out for free. Also I want to make this point: I was very lucky. I had talked to my mom about her death plans and she and my dad have had their cremations planned and paid for for 25 years (Neptune Society baybee). I got lucky, we had talked about a book like this and she had started writing down passwords. I got lucky, she never took my advice about putting a passcode on her phone. But things were still harder than they needed to be. We’d talked about a death planning workbook because I’d found one on Amazon and we both thought it would be a good idea to fill it out because she was sick. I just never scrounged together $26.00 in the time between when we talked about it and when she died. You know what’s better than regretting that you couldn’t afford a death workbook? A FREE DEATH WORKBOOK. I mean, I don’t begrudge the authors of other death books their pay. I’m sure the other books are more comprehensive than mine and maybe some of them do a decent job of explaining probate. But death is expensive and living ain’t cheap. This is free explicitly because there are tons of people (though certainly not everyone involved) who will bypass compassion in order to profit off of the death industry and I want you to have at least this one thing that’s there for you free, as a gift, as something given to you for the sole purpose of making this easier on you in a time when every step is going to be expensive and difficult. This is free, no charge. All I ask is that, if possible, you share it with someone else who needs it and that you tell somebody you love that you love them. Hey all if you’re new here because of the firefox post or the browser wars post or the bastardous positivity post please consider downloading the free book I made about what to do when someone dies because you know what this is sad and shit but things are going to be much easier for you if you know the level of bullshit you’re going to be dealing with.
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Thomas and his friends: a togand toad-are-triends My favorite thing about Thomas the Tank Engine is that in canonically takes place in a train postapocalypse where the island of Sodor is the only safe zone in a totalitarian dysnopia in which steam trains are routinely killed and their body parts are sold or canmbaled for repair If you think I'm kidding you need to read the original books leontroid eenud could you please direct me to a souroei would feel much better if this was validated. frog-and toad-are-friends S It took me so long to find this quote online but i did it because it's so much darker than one might expect from Thomas the Tank Engine Engines on the Other Railway arent sale now. Their controllers are eruel. They dont lke engines any more. They put them on cold damp sidings, and then" Percy nearly sobbed, "Ihey they cecut them up "The Bluebels of England" Stepney the Bluebel Engine. Rex Awdry, Wibert. London Egmont Pubshing 1963. This ilustration, by Gunvor and Peter fidwards, accompanied the above text in the original book, and depicts a pair of unfortunate Cther Railway engines moments before being disassembled with a blowtorch A dainydice HOLY FUCK LOOK AT THE ONE IN THE BACKGROUND THEY TOOK ITS FUCONG FACE OMG trogand toad-are-tiends zidane the early thomas the tank engine books are pretty standard stuff. saccharine bubblegum type stories and ilustrations. you watched the show, is ke that in book form. the second hall of the railway series are so fucking dark and sureal im cominced they were a result of reverend wilbur awdry doing copious amounts of lad and having hallucinations of his own death. frog-and toad-are-triends Eecuse me but the rery fest story in the Railway Series is about an engine who hides in a turnel and refuses to run because he doesn't want to pet his paint job ruined in the rain, so railway management seals off the tunnel They eventually let him out because another engine breaks down or something, but the original plan was to just leave him in there forever ahulamithbond On the show, didnt they also hook up one engine to a generator, so he'd never move again? That was iterally one of the inesIn, Is on some other post on here. I was chilling frog-and to adare-triends a Yes! This also happened in the books, to an engine refemed to only as "No. 2, but the selevision series applied the same scenario to an inwented character named "Smudger", in the episode "Granputf. "Smudges" said Duke Was a show-off. He rode roughly and often came off the rails. I warned him to be careful, but he took no notice Usten, Dukie" he snared. "Who wories about a few spils Ha aid, but Smudger lghed Unil one day. Manager said he was going to make him useful at last. Smudger stopped laughing then" Wwwhy What did he do "He tumed him ito a generator. He's sil there behind our shed. Hell never move again." deducecanse This is so fucked up 4 unclewhisky No, sten Okay, so we see Ralway Management doing all this shit, right, but supposedly ifs so much worse in the Other Ralays?i mea, sure, you might get tumed into generator or bricked into a tunnel for not doing as yoưre told, but at least you're not cut up and sold for parts, right? s not so bod on the island of Sodot right? a Or maybe thara just what Rulway Managament warta the engines to think Maybe the island of Sodor is the real totalitarian regime, and the engine citizens (slaves) are fed propaganda, kustrated in belish araes and sulfurie vellows,about how ilustrated in helish grays and sulfuric yellows, about how bad it is everywhere else, at all the Other Railways. You are lucky to be an engine of Seder. Railmay Management cares about you Tryst Railway Management. Stay on Your Track. It Could Be So Much Worse. connethepaganangel Wet the fuck is this train based 1984 bulshit Source frogand toad are friends 220440 netes Thomas and his friends
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its-turning-all-the-frogs-gay: livelylunalovegood: hammyham02: demonic-wolf-child: astrorudeboi: bisexual-hufflepuff16: mishkablackpaw: tweetthang96: tchitchou26: thewife101: shadowunicornofthenight: saltycaffeine: Ultra Soft One of a Kind Asymmetric Hoodie Eve™ made with Premium Cotton Blend. Perfect for a chilly Evening. A Great Gift for your Friends and Family ***USE COUPON CODE: HOODIE FOR A DISCOUNT*** –> GET IT HERE <– I HAVE ONE OF THESE AND LEMME SAY THEY’RE SO FUCKING SOFT AND AMAZING AND PERFECT TO BUNDLE UP IN AND THE POCKET IS SO LARGE REALLY GET ONE I seriously just bought a grey one. So bloody excited. Yay for comfy fall clothes!!!! I have been eyeing those for SO LONG. @thewife101 you must tell me about it when you receive yours ! The grey looks great but I do love the burgundy one. My mom has two and I am very jealous. Want but sadly I’m a guy :/ I hate society Who cares if you’re a guy. If want it, and can afford it, get it! My girl and I love it lmaoo I WANT ONE!!! I NEED IT @livelylunalovegood *squeals HOLY SHIT WELL THERES GO MY MONEY: its-turning-all-the-frogs-gay: livelylunalovegood: hammyham02: demonic-wolf-child: astrorudeboi: bisexual-hufflepuff16: mishkablackpaw: tweetthang96: tchitchou26: thewife101: shadowunicornofthenight: saltycaffeine: Ultra Soft One of a Kind Asymmetric Hoodie Eve™ made with Premium Cotton Blend. Perfect for a chilly Evening. A Great Gift for your Friends and Family ***USE COUPON CODE: HOODIE FOR A DISCOUNT*** –> GET IT HERE <– I HAVE ONE OF THESE AND LEMME SAY THEY’RE SO FUCKING SOFT AND AMAZING AND PERFECT TO BUNDLE UP IN AND THE POCKET IS SO LARGE REALLY GET ONE I seriously just bought a grey one. So bloody excited. Yay for comfy fall clothes!!!! I have been eyeing those for SO LONG. @thewife101 you must tell me about it when you receive yours ! The grey looks great but I do love the burgundy one. My mom has two and I am very jealous. Want but sadly I’m a guy :/ I hate society Who cares if you’re a guy. If want it, and can afford it, get it! My girl and I love it lmaoo I WANT ONE!!! I NEED IT @livelylunalovegood *squeals HOLY SHIT WELL THERES GO MY MONEY
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