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Disney Meme
🔥 | Latest
Amazon, Bitch, and Dank: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, I GOT
YOUR NAME TATTOOED ON MY
FOREHEAD!
SutY
SUZ
SHIT, WHAT DO I DO NOW? THIS IS
GONNA LOOK STUPID FOR THE
REST OF MY LIFE!
SUZY
S A BITCH
SULY
Cyanide and Happiness © Explosm.net,
Check out the new Cyanide & Happiness PARENTING BOOK AT THIS LINK: https://www.amazon.com/Cyanide-Happiness-Guide-Parenting-Three/dp/1684150027/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8
Check out the new Cyanide & Happiness PARENTING BOOK AT THIS LINK: https://www.amazon.com/Cyanide-Happiness-Guide-Parenting-Three/dp/1684150...
Cute, Netflix, and Yo: lee
@leebron
My girlfriend told me she would suck
John Mayer's dick in front of her own
d because she loves him so much. I
said the girl on a netflix show we were
watching was cute and she got mad
and told me to watch it by myself.
Yo, she wildin!😂💀 https://t.co/NNQy16ozck
Yo, she wildin!😂💀 https://t.co/NNQy16ozck
Dad, Dank, and England: ING OUT T
HELLMANNS
REALC
MAYONNAISE
Most people don't know that back in 1912,
Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in
England.
In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the
condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz,
Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for
the great ship after its stop in New York. This
would have been the largest single shipment of
mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico.
The Mexican people loved Mayonnaise so much
and this loss was so devastating that the Mexican
people declared a National day of Mourning
which happens every year on the day the
shipment was supposed to arrive. This day of
course is May 5th or more commonly known as
Sinko de Mayo.
But we all know what happened..
*extreme level dad joke warning*
*extreme level dad joke warning*
![Memes, Been, and 🤖: NIK
"I've been through so much... I don't know where I'd be without [@ShaquillG]."
@Shaquemgriffin is brought to tears after receiving a special #NFLDraft message from his twin brother. https://t.co/xSmDk8IZck](https://pics.me.me/nik-ive-been-through-so-much-i-dont-know-where-32522634.png)
Big Dick, Chill, and Church: ITT: Glorious Retards
>be me
mormonfag
church boring as fuck
not really that interested in going, its a cult, mostly do it for
my family
hate testimony week
basically open mic day once a week at church
people go up and are supposed to talk about how great
god is or whatever, generally just talk about how great they
are and what vacation they went on last
literally just a big dick measuring contest
new family moves into ward
pretty unusual situation: single dad, downie kid. we learned
way later that he accidentally got a girl pregnant, she
wanted to abort downie, he said he'd raise the baby himself
rather than see that happen.
not sure if i agree with it, but gotta admit, that's honorable
as fuck
downies a good kid too, sweet as can be, not as dumb as
you'd think
anyway
testimony week comes around, dreading it
first guy goes up, starts talking about how he baptized a lot
of people on his mission
>am rolling my eyes in five dimensions when I heard downie
roar from across the room
"TEHTIMONEY WEEK IS FOHR TEHTIMONEYS! NOE!"
room goes quiet, guy wraps up quickly, sits down
people tell actual wholesome stuff, they fear the downie.
no dick measuring with him around
next week similar thing happens: woman goes up to talk
about how much she loves her husband, and how he took
the whole family on a trip to mexico recently
Downie interrupts
"TEHTIMONEY! WEEK! IS! FOHR! TEHTIMONEYS! NOE!"
lady sits down, normal talking goes on, im officially
borderline gay for downie
later talking with my edgelord apostate friends, we all talk
about how downie is the best thing to happen to this ward
ever
we find downie and thank him for keeping it real. his dad
is super touched that we all stopped by, we all make sure
to thank downie for his interruptions and tell him to keep it
real
we thought maybe his dad would be annoyed that we were
encouraging this, but his dad was chill as could be
6.5 kB JPG
33 min. ago.
Anonymous | 44806137
cont
next week, Downey takes it up a notclh
mormon services have two or three talks a servic, all done by volunteers, but
the talks can suuuuuuck
worst ones are when old people/newly returned missionaries are asked to talk
and they ramble for an hour and a half
old lady is going on and on about growing up in the great depression. we're all
about to go insane when downie stands up
YOU TAHK TOO LON, OTHER SPEACHERS NEED TO TAHK TOO
lady wraps up
we're all in fucking awe of this god among us
anytime somebody rambles, or tries to humblebrag, downie calls them out
its fucking amazing
>church is still a cult but its actually kind of fun now with downie there
me and my edgelord friends keep an eye on him, nobody fucks with our downie
we get near the end of HS when downie has a heart attack
we all visit him in the hospital. we fucking love him
>he survived the heart attack, but he just may not have a whole lot of time left.
the sunday, the dad announces that him and his son are going to be moving out
of state. wants to show his son more of the world before he dies.
me and my friends go to downies house to say goodbye, tell him we're going to
miss him so much, testimoney week is going to turn back to shit with him gone
downie asks if he can tell us a secret
we say sure, you can tell us anything
"Dah tole me wat to say all those times.
>mfw his dad originally used his retarded son as a way to ignore social
conventions and tell people to stfu, but wound up continuing to do it for years
because he knew it was helping him have friends.
>mfw when im not sure if his dad is an asshole or a genius
>mfw I don't even care anymore, I still think fondly of that glorious downie
bastard yelling at old ladies from the back of the chapel
1 REPLY
Anon goes to church
Anon goes to church
Memes, Wow, and Thank You: GOVERNMENT
HERE'S $500
OF THE
$12,000
WE STOLE
FROM YOU.
YOU
OH WOW!
THANK YOU
SO MUCH!
Don't forget to pay your theft today! #HappyTheftDay #TaxationIsTheft (CS)
Don't forget to pay your theft today! #HappyTheftDay #TaxationIsTheft (CS)
Love, Pregnant, and True: some guy..
@rasheedharmony
My girl cheated and got pregnant
by another man but i love her so
much and I'm always there for her
no matter what ! I proposed to her
yesterday and she said yes! And i
raise the kid! I don't mind at all. True
love never ends
Is he right or wrong? 🤔👇 https://t.co/llviGPOAZf
Is he right or wrong? 🤔👇 https://t.co/llviGPOAZf
Lost, Happy, and Time: Avril Lavigne: You were everything, everything that I wanted. We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it. And all of the memories so close to me just fade away. All this time you were pretending, so much for my happy ending.
14yr old me: https://t.co/CAfKsDrXvZ
Avril Lavigne: You were everything, everything that I wanted. We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it. And all of the memories s...
Aww, Lol, and Massage: Right okay, that's perfectly fine:)
17:08
Do u have a pic so i know who im
talking too
17:08
There's a pic as my WhatsApp image
17:08
Cant see one
17:08
You can also check it out on my
website
17:09
There you can read everything about
me and what I do :)
17:09
My name is
17:09
Hi
17:10
U look lovely
17:10
Thanks 17:11
Am i ok naked 17:11
IType a message
Yes that is fine, as long as you don't
mind me covering up your bits, I don't
much care for looking at everyone's:
If you're naked it is easier getting to
the parts you use a lot for MMA
17:12
Hahahhaa 17:12
I do get aroused usually when my
thighs are massaged so hope ur not
offended
17:13
As long as I don't have to do anything
sexual it doesn't bother me. Bodily
functions happen
17:13
Quite often even 1713
Aww thats good then 17:14
I had a masseuse give me a horrible
shouting at
17:14
That's strange, it's not something yc
can usually control
17:14
Type a message OO
I know17:14
I said jokingly after you should be
flattered
17:15
That didnt help at all lo17:15
Hahaha 17:15
Do u have a pic
17:15
Of what? 17:16/
You 17:16
Another pic 17:16
Why do you need another pic? 17:17
Just making sure its you
17:17
Well it is my website 17:17
So l'd hope it's me 1717
Cmon 17:17
|Type a message
You can compare the phone numbers
17:17
Just 1 pic 17:18
I don't think it's necessary 17:18
Please
17:18
No, I'm sorry. I think that is a little
strange. You've seen a picture of me,
and even then I don't think it would
matter by who the massage is as
long as it helps your muscles 17:20
Well u are nice looking which helps
17:20
I'm sure it does 17:21
Im defo ok naked
17:21
Well it's getting a bit weird if you ask
for it so much. I'm not doing anythir
sexual
17:22
lype a message
I just like it tbh 17-22
Nothing sexual wanted 17:22
Just feels nice while u massage
17:23
Then it's fine 17:23
ld prefer uncovered
17:23
And I don't. I don't want to look at
everyone's bits
17:23
Im not everyone lol 17:24
For me you are a client. I cover
everyone up, you are one of everyone
1 7:24、//
Can i touch myself under the towel
while u massage
17:24
I'm going to stop replying now 17:25
Stay 17:26
Type a message
I'm a massage therapist - this is the type of person that talks to me on a daily basis.
I'm a massage therapist - this is the type of person that talks to me on a daily basis.
