🔥 Popular | Latest

Af, Being Alone, and Bailey Jay: ESFJ ENEJ ENTJ ESTJ -The popular one Easy to get to know Will bring you food when you're sad Hates being alone -Supportive and Warm Doesn't understand how to say 'no s your second MoM and isnít even somry -Genunly cares Knows you better than you know yourself -Moral police Actually really secretve -Intuitively wise and soMehow becomes vour life Mentor Surprisingly fun and social -COMManding AF -Triggered 200% of the tie -better than you at everything -UncoMfortable with their own feelings -Says they wil punch you in the face, will actually punch you in the face -Traditional dad figure -Confident Bossy and scary Surprisngly furnny and kind of a firt -Cares a bit too Much about what other people think of thew EFFICIENT AF INFJ -Everyone's unofficial shrnk -Grets Mistaken for an extrovert ISFJ INTJ ISJ -The perfectionist -Shy cinnaMon roll will replace your grandwother Hippie Just wants to help everyone wil bake you cookies -Daily episodes of self-cowbustion nose n a book fraM repressing their feeings s ether deady quet o and overloading theselves won't shut up there is no in-between -The Know-it-all -Confident but surprisinly easly intividated -Thinks everyone is stupid Likes personal space but il spend tme with you if they love you -Hates subjectivity -Most lkely to settle donn n the suburbs with 25 kids and a doo -Grets shit done -Enjoų being by theMselves -Blank slate on the outside What are eMotions? dust wants world peace -Can always be found with their -Secretly a hardcore farboy/girl owkey a sloth INTP INFP -Qiet and hard to get to know Intellectually curious and genuinely loves leaning Never leaves the house -Obivious to everything -Hates too Many rules and overly structured systeMs -Can never find their car keys hnocent and a little najve -PerManently wears rose-tnted glasses -Probably Multingual -Takes everything personally after you get to k Likes being by themselves but -biggest procrastinator you wil will devote all their tme for you ever Meet ISFP WanM and sensitive to others -Chill and laidback Creative and Magnatv Shy at frst, but wor't shut up SMart Trker -Either doesn't give a shit or gives too Many shits -Stubbon is their Midde naMe -しonstantly ls conteMplating borderine ilegal activities due to boredoM now thew in uour life Does said borderine ilegal actvities if they love you just for the hell of it -Fears coMMitMent More than death -Actually a fragle bunry that fears rejection -Forgets to eat ENTP ESTP ENFP ESFP -Thinks their life is à soap opera -Bold and Spontaneous Coined the tem "All or nothing Enjoy entertairing others and Making sure everyone -The fuckbou -Also the Adrenaline dunkieStarts everything, -doins the debate teaM everų uear, for fun Loves ideas, hates executing theM -Has probably been arrested for -So honest you wish they weren't endangering their own ives EMotions and feelings are foreign languages -Devi's advocate Thinks arguing is foreplau The dreaMer doesn't frish anything Says rules and coMMitMent are Mportant Unconsciously breaks every rule has a good tive f not, should be ADHD Wil go with you to any place and can't coMMit to a favorite color -Gets attached too easly n the world and also fix your car -nfectious enthusias and energy Has about as Much ambition -Overthinks and overanalyses anything and everything as a 2 year old beckawang: MBTI Types: Summary
Save
Aladdin, Barbie, and Batman: feynites.tumblr.com minesottafatspoollegend i love in fantasy when its like "king galamir the mighty golden eagle and his most trusted advisor who would never betray him, gruelworm bloodeye the treacherous When my sister and I were kids we had this one action figure, who was actually a brutalized batman doll without his cape (the dog chewed half his head, too), who we dubbed 'Evil Chancellor Traytor'. The idea was that in the fictional society of our toys, 'chancellor' just came with the word ‘evil, in front of it, as a matter of ancient tradition. Like grand, or high, or something along those lines Anyway, the running gag was that the king (an old Power Rangers knock-off doll) had absolute and unwavering faith in Evil Chancellor Traytor, who basically comported himself like a mix between Grima Wormtongue and Jafar from the Aladdin movies. Everyone was always sure that Evil Chancellor Traytor had something to do with the nefarious scheme of the day. The dude even carried around a poisoned knife called 'the kingslayer The additional twist on the joke, though, was that he never was behind anything. The king was actually right. Evil Chancellor Traytor was the most devoted civil servant in the entire Action Figure Dystopia. He spent his nights working on writing up new legislature to ensure that broken toys had access to mobility devices, was always on the lookout to acquire new shoeboxes for expanding city infrastructure, and drafted a proposal that once got half the 'settlement' in my sister and I's closet moved to the upper shelf so that vulnerable toys were less likely to be snatched up by the dog The knife, as it turned out, was as symbolic as the 'evi in his name. See, Action Figure Dystopia had a long history of corrupted monarchs getting too big for their thrones and exploiting the underclasses. The job of the Evil Chancellor was to always remain vigilant, and loyally serve a good ruler or, if the regent should became a despot, to slay them on behalf of the people But since killing the king would be a terrible crime, the Evil Chancellor had to be the kind of person who would willingly die to spare the people from the plight of a wicked leader because the murder would be pinned on them, in order to keep the 'machinery of politics working as smoothly as ever Anyway, Evil Chancellor Traytor had a diary, in which my sister I would take turns writing out the most over-the-top good shit he'd done behind the scenes. Usually after everyone else had finished talking shit about him. I don't know why but we got the biggest kick out of being like Barbie With the Unfortunate Haircut: Oh that Evil Chancellor Traytor! Why can't the king see how wicked he is?! Charmander From the Vending Machine: Char! Jurassic Park Toy of Jeff Goldblum With Disturbingly Realistic Face: At least if someone puts a knife in the king's back, we'll know where to look! Evil Chancellor Traytor's Diary: Today I was feeding ducks at the park when I noticed another legless action figure sitting by the benches. I put a hundred dollars into his bag while he wasn't looking. I really need to increase budgeting to the medical treatment centers. If only we had enough glue, I think we would see far fewer toys trying to get by without limbs insert iconic evil laugh Anyway, Evil Chancellor Traytor eventually fell victim to one of my mom's cleaning sprees and she decided he was too busted up to keep and tossed him out. My littler brother, who tended to follow my sister and I's games like he was watching a daily soap opera, cried so hard that we had to do a special 'episode' where one of the toys found the Evil Chancellor's diary, and so he got a big huge memorial and the king threw himself into the empty grave and then ordered the toys driving the toy bulldozer to bury him so that Traytor's grave would have a body' (this seemed very important for some reason) And then we had the Quest For a New King. Somehow or another that ended up being a giant rubber snake called Tyrant King Cobra (via besiderunningwaters) #my apologies for rambling #but it has been a long time since i thought about traytor #and that suddenly reminded me of him H APR 201 SOURCE SWEETBABYRAYSGOURMETSAUCES 78,236 NOTES The Unforgettable Tale of Evil Chancellor Traytor
Save
Animals, Cats, and Deer: Fun animal facts I have learned being a zoo cdocent lavendersucculents fuckyeahshezza madlori 1. There are several ways to classify the large cats, one of the more useful ones is into the roaring cats (tigers, lions) and the purring cats (bobcats lynxes). The puma (also known as the mountain lion) is the largest cat that purrs. I've heard it up close, it's amazing. A cheetah's purr sounds like an idling motorcycle engine 2. Kangaroos cannot move their legs independently of each other, they have to move them in sync - when they're on land. When they're swimming, they can move them separately. Hopping is their most efficient way to move - a walking kangaroo is awkward as hell. They swing both legs forward using their tail as a third leg to prop up while their legs swing 3. People often think that flamingoes' knees bend the wrong way. They don't the joint you're seeing in the middle of their leg isn't their knee, it's their ankle. Their knee is up by their body, and it bends the same way ours does 4. Giraffes only sleep 1-2 hours a day 5. Bald eagles' vocalizations are not what you expect. When you see a flying bald eagle in the movies and hear that majestic caw sound? That isn't an eagle, it's been dubbed over with another bird, usually a red-tailed hawk. Bald eagles actually sound...not majestic. Kind of like if a kitten could be a bird 6. Elephants are one of only a handful of animals that can pass the mirror test - in other words, they can recognize their own reflection (and not think t's another animal, as dogs and cats usually do). They tested this by placing a chalk mark on an elephant's forehead and then showing it a mirror. The elephant investigated the mark on its own forehead, indicating it knew that it was looking at itself. The only animals that pass this test are the higher primates, the higher cetaceans (orcas, dolphines), elephants, and weirdly magpies 7. One-fifth of all the known mammal species are bats 8. A kangaroo mother can have three joeys simultaneously at different stages of development: an embryo in her womb (kangaroos can do what's called embryonic diapause which means sort of putting the development on pause until she's ready for it to develop further), a joey in her pouch attached to one nipple, and a joey out of the pouch on the ground who nurses from the other one. The amazing thing? Each of her nipples make different formulations of milk for each joey's different nutritional needs 9. Bonobos, our closest genetic relative (they are more closely related to us than they are to either chimps or gorillas) are almost entirely non- aggressive, matriarchal, and use sex to solve all their problems. They engage in both same and opposite sex interactions, non-penetrative sex (oral, rubbing, manual) and with any age. That's an interesting area to work in, lemme tell you 10. Tortoises have super loud sex. Like, really loud 11. All grizzlies are brown bears, but not all brown bears are grizzlies (grizzlies are a sub-categorization of the brown bear) 12. Reindeer are the only deer species where both males and females grow antlers. The males shed theirs the beginning of December, the females shed theirs in the spring. So all of Santa's reindeer are girls, heh. I love telling little kids that 13. If a rhinoceros knocks off its horn, it grows back faster than you'd expect. One of ours, Rosie, has knocked hers off twice 14. Gorillas get crushes on each other. And on the humans that take care of them. Male gorillas also masturbate. I don't know if the females do, I've never seen it. Sometimes it's like a soap opera up in there 15. Langur monkeys are silvery-gray in color-their babies are bright orange Like Cheeto orange, I do not exaggerate 16. Polar bear fur is not white, it's transparent, like fiber optics. Also, thei skin is black This is all excellent and awesome and am a happier, better person for this knowledge Also, you go badass lady reindeer. Sleigh This was really cool to read actually Tortoises are loud in bed and other fun animal facts
Save
Adam Driver, Bad, and Finn: @grumpykylos Adam Driver suffers from an anxiety disorder and has stated that it takes a lot of courage for him to pursue/continue acting because he is afraid of people laughing at his appearance. So, yeah, fuck y'all for mocking him 12/17/17, 2:24 PM <p><a href="http://emeraldboreas.tumblr.com/post/168723106056/vesperfiend-emeraldboreas-vesperfiend" class="tumblr_blog">emeraldboreas</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://vesperfiend.tumblr.com/post/168720779346/emeraldboreas-vesperfiend-jathis" class="tumblr_blog">vesperfiend</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://emeraldboreas.tumblr.com/post/168720531611/vesperfiend-jathis" class="tumblr_blog">emeraldboreas</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://vesperfiend.tumblr.com/post/168718804991/jathis-just-another-star-wars-account-i-can" class="tumblr_blog">vesperfiend</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://jathis.tumblr.com/post/168699306119/just-another-star-wars-account-i-can-understand" class="tumblr_blog">jathis</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="https://just-another-star-wars-account.tumblr.com/post/168690295071/i-can-understand-not-liking-the-character-of-kylo" class="tumblr_blog">just-another-star-wars-account</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>I can understand not liking the character of Kylo Ren but making fun of the actor isn’t right</p></blockquote> <p>That’s why Channing Tatum and John Boyega help him during public appearances.</p> </blockquote> <p>Adam Driver is a piece of shit who said there were good and bad people with the rebellion and the first order. Literally defending nazis in a really important time in history. People shouldn’t make fun of his looks but I have no sympathy for nazi apologists I don’t care if they have anxiety or not 🤷‍♀️</p></blockquote> <p>Do you know what “literally” means?</p></blockquote> <p>In a time of Nazis LITERALLY marching in the streets and people saying there’s “good people on both sides” the fact that he used that exact phrasing when talking about something that is an OBVIOUS parallel to Nazis is LITERALLY defending Nazis you absolute buffoon</p></blockquote> <p>For Adam Driver to literally defend Nazis, he’d have to defend the Nazi Party and its ideology. </p><p>Instead, he made the rather lukewarm statement that there are good people on both sides, a concept explored in the movie through Finn’s character and his own character’s story arc.</p><p>The First Order, like many fictional regimes in modern media, are modeled after the Third Reich because said Reich was scary. The imagery is iconic and striking, and the word Nazi has become a byword for “bad guys.” Villains’ costumes are often still based on them, even in media that has nothing to do with WWII. </p><p>You’re being emotionally manipulated by garden-variety costuming and props. </p></blockquote> <p>Oh my gooooooooooooooooooosh are we really actually calling a man a Nazi apologist for something he said about fucking fictional characters in a soap opera about space wizards? I’m done.</p>
Save
Aladdin, Bad, and Barbie: C ,d 40%. 11:52 PM minesottafatspoollegend i love in fantasy when its like "king galamir the mighty golden eagle and his most trusted advisor who would never betray him, gruelworm bloodeye the treacherous" es When my sister and I were kids we had this one action figure, who was actually a brutalized batman doll without his cape (the dog chewed half his head, too), who we dubbed 'Evil Chancellor Traytor. The idea was that in the fictional society of our toys, chancellor just came with the word 'evil in front of it, as a matter of ancient tradition Like 'grand' or 'high' or something along those lines Anyway, the running gag was that the king (an old Power Rangers knock-off doll) had absolute and unwavering faith in Evil Chancel- lor Traytor, who basically comported himself like a mix between Grima Wormtongue and Jafar from the Aladdin movies. Everyone was always sure that Evil Chancellor Traytor had something to do with the nefarious scheme of the day. The dude even carried around a poisoned knife called 'the kingslayer The additional twist on the joke, though, was that he never was behind anything. The king was actually right. Evil Chancellor Traytor was the most devoted civil servant in the entire Action Figure Dystopia. He spent his nights working on writing up new legislature to ensure that b mobility devices, was always on the lookout to acquire new shoeboxes for expanding city infrastructure, and drafted a proposal that once got half the 'settlement' in my sister and I's closet moved to the upper shelf so that vulnerable toys were less likely to be snatched roken toys had access to the dog The knife, as it turned out, was as symbolic as the evil in his name. See, Action Figure Dystopia had a long history of corrupted monarchs getting too big for their thrones and exploiting the underclasses. The job of the Evil Chancellor was to always remain vigilant, and loyally serve a good ruler-or, if the regent should became a despot, to slay them on behalf of the people But since killing the king would be a terrible crime, the Evil Chancellor had to be the kind of person who would willingly die to spare the people from the plight of a wicked leader, because the murder would be pinned on them, in order to keep the 'machinery of politics working as smoothly as ever Anyway, Evil Chancellor Traytor had a diary in which my sister I would take turns writing out the most over-the-top good shit he'd done behind the scenes. Usually after everyone else had finished talking shit about him. I don't know why but we got the biggest kick out of in Barbie With the Unfortunate Haircut: Oh that Evil Chancellor Traytor! Why can't the king see how wicked he is?! Charmander From the Vending Machine: Char! Jurassic Park Toy of Jeff Goldblum With Disturbingly Realistic Face: At least if someone puts a knife in the king's back, we'll know where to look! Evil Chancellor Traytor's Diary: Today I was feeding ducks at the park when I noticed another legless action figure sitting by the benches. I put a hundred dollars into his bag while he wasn't looking. I really need to increase budgeting to the medical treatment centers. If only we had enough glue, I think we would see far fewer toys trying to get by without limbs... insert iconic evil laugh* Anyway, Evil Chancellor Traytor eventually fell victim to one of my mom's cleaning sprees, and she decided he was too busted up to keep and tossed him out. My littler brother, who tended to follow my sister and I's games like he was watching a daily soap opera, cried so hard that we had to do a special 'episode where one of the toys found the Evil Chancellor's diary, and so he got a big huge memorial and the king threw himself into the empty grave and then ordered the toys driving the toy bulldozer to bury him so that 'Traytors grave would have a body' (this seemed very important for some reason) And then we had the Quest For a New King Somehow or another that ended up being a giant rubber snake called Tyrant King Cobra Source: sweetbabyr aysgourmetsauces 79,144 notes I want this to be an actual soap so bad
Save
Books, Cum, and Hungry: Anonymous | 741797107 6 min. ago .. 30 year old NEET wake up at 2pm had accident in sleep which I rolled around in grab cum-towel off nightstand and do my best to wipe the mess from my folds of fat tummy gurgles loudly, so hungry plop out of bed, navigate through shit jugs and piss bottles in my room 102.0 kB JPG waddle downstairs to check GBP board wait a minute to catch my breath before l look just enough Good Boy Points for some tendies and sauce! legs buckle under own weight roll myself into the living room where mummy is watching her favorite soap opera "mummy mummy I have enough Good Boy Points for some tendies!" >she turns to me with the most disqusting look on her face while I lay flat on the ground stuggling to get up "s-sure honey, le-let me just get some tendies for you'" she struggles to go to the kitchen without vomitting from the smell and sight of my obese, putrid, feces and semen covered she pulls the tendies out of the freezer after letting the oven heat up as she begins to cry into the sink I roll over and pull myself up to my high chair that starts to creak as I sit down have my crayons and Ninja Turtles coloring book to occupy me while I wait the tendies are finally done and she puts them on my plate she can't hold back the vomit as I open my mouth to eat some tendies and vomits all over my plate I can't let these tendies go to waste, so l eat them along with the vomit "yummy wummy tendies in my tummy thanks mummy do my best to muster a smile but the rows of decaying teeth only disgust mummy further high-chair finally breaks from my heft causes me to have another accident mum runs away to her room, sobbing uncontrollably, so ashamed of her baby boy I just sit there on floor, in my own filth, thinking about what a disappointment I am mfw Anon is a dissapointment
Save
4chan, Ass, and Bad: The Aeiwllork Times Female Hotness Index (FHI) Data Sources: Ancedotal Evidence, Vacation Trips, /int/ Posts, Hotness of First Lady, US Census, World Bank, United Nations, Office of Data and Statistics of the Russian Federation, and ESPN. | Decent Nice| | Beautiful | Absolute Perfection Revolting Horrendous Horrible Fairly Bad Not good . Meh Attractive No Data <p><a href="https://timidhedgie.tumblr.com/post/160640663612/nyc-conservative-hot-chubbies-with-cheese" class="tumblr_blog">timidhedgie</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://nyc-conservative.tumblr.com/post/160640076667/hot-chubbies-with-cheese" class="tumblr_blog">nyc-conservative</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://hot-chubbies-with-cheese.tumblr.com/post/160639477884/slav-one-squatting-by-aeternuseternus" class="tumblr_blog">hot-chubbies-with-cheese</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="https://slav-one-squatting-by.tumblr.com/post/160638468751/aeternuseternus-land-of-maps-female" class="tumblr_blog">slav-one-squatting-by</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="https://aeternuseternus.tumblr.com/post/160638446560/land-of-maps-female-attractiveness-according-to" class="tumblr_blog">aeternuseternus</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="https://land-of-maps.tumblr.com/post/160629287956/female-attractiveness-according-to-4chan1368x844" class="tumblr_blog">land-of-maps</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>Female attractiveness according to 4chan[1368X844]</p></blockquote> <p>tag yourself im horrible</p></blockquote> <p>Revolting</p></blockquote> <p>Nice</p></blockquote> <p>HAVE THESE ASSHOLES NEVER SEEN AFRICAN WOMEN AND HOW ABSOLUTELY STUNNING THEY ARE?!!</p></blockquote> <p>Damn lol the people on 4chan don’t get out much do they? I’ve seen ugly Russian women with flat chests and no ass. Why does everybody think they’re hot? Most Brazilian women are attractive. I guess they’ve never seen a Brazilian soap opera or the Brazilian women I know? Lol</p></blockquote> <p>How is this kind of thing even determined? Hotness is extremely subjective. Of course the people who contributed to this are almost certainly people who have picture boards tagged &ldquo;aryan women only 😍😍😍&rdquo; </p><figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-width="400" data-orig-height="224" data-tumblr-attribution="adobekenobi:mkRklGZUsZafjje19xjcQA:ZyQKWs2ANfndy" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/c2c5c54072dac3af7bbff1b70fd149d4/tumblr_o4gulbwVYC1snkwfjo1_400.gif"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/c2c5c54072dac3af7bbff1b70fd149d4/tumblr_inline_opxcab9bxU1rw09tq_540.gif" data-orig-width="400" data-orig-height="224" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/c2c5c54072dac3af7bbff1b70fd149d4/tumblr_o4gulbwVYC1snkwfjo1_400.gif"/></figure>
Save
Memes, 🤖, and Powers: es, Power dinner with the two biggest soap opera icons, Eric Braeden and @mauricebenard. generalhospital theyoungsndtherestless

Power dinner with the two biggest soap opera icons, Eric Braeden and @mauricebenard. generalhospital theyoungsndtherestless

Save
Bless Up, Creepy, and Fetty Wap: cat: plotting for your death And also cat: think i change my mind @DrSmashlove Now see Bruh sloppy toppy is a lot like cars. Like u meet a classy older female and she give that 1995 Cadillac top. She lick the side and kiss it and then wink at u and then ride it like the Ginuwine song. She keep it grown and sexy - I ain't mad at u girl, u was raised on "Days of Our Lives". U passionate 😍. But see the new crop of girls Bruh they was raised on the Maury show. Ain't no classy soap opera bih. This is a show where men do a dance when they find out a child is NOT theirs - that shit turn u to a savage 👹. So u got girls who give 2005 Mustang top - that's that joint where they use their hand and mouth in swirly motion. I ain't mad at y'all, I remember when that car came out: Racy 😍. But see it's new top out now. That 2018 Tesla driverless top. "Hands-free" because she sitting on her hands. I'm just in her throat googly eyed like "I don't know how this is anatomically possible right now with my situation blocking the path of oxygen entry to your body but u seem to like it? 🤤." Now see my generation, we pull out when the volcano bout to erupt out of courtesy. But that 2018 model Bruh her mouth a heat seeking missile. I yank out and she like "boy if u don't bring that ice cream cone back this minute" and just like that I'm back in the Chamber of Doom. This right here Bruh? This is when my eyes roll back in my head and I turn into a Roman statue on yo ass. Don't call the paramedics, just know that u suctioned the soul out of me and that it's gon take a minute for my soul to migrate back to my body. And I'm like "u wouldn't let me go! I was afraid you were gonna choke!" And she look at me deadass and said: "IDK. I kinda like gagging 🤷‍♀️." And right then Bruh, a single tear formed in my right, pupil-less Fetty Wap rolled-back eye and just like creepy-ass Tom Cruise in Jerry Maguire I whispered, "you...complete me." And like a G she said "I'm gonna go brush my teeth, you want some water?" Bruh I can't. To be honest? I don't even know where y'all take it from here. Bottom line: never doubt a woman's creativity. They always gon do shit that's gon make u fall in love and wanna have chirren 💑. Ya get me! Bless up 😍😂😂😂
Save