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Best Friend, Confused, and Dad: MAMMA, EVER SINCE I SAlV I'M ITALIAN, EVERYONE KEEP4 TEA IN ME AND AGKING IF I'M IN THE MAFIA NEXT TIME TELL THEM THEN THEY WILL FEAK YOU. 2srooky: giancarlovolpe: Based on a true story. this reminds me of a story that’s kind of an ongoing joke in my family.  I’m half German, and my father’s side of the family is full blooded German. My father owns a business that deals with a lot of international calls, and during my early tween years he got a lot of business calls at all hours of the day and night from all over the world.  Now, when i first met my best friends, I had them sleeping over at my house, and we were watching TV. Every few minutes the phone would ring, and our caller ID would project at the top of the television screen.  I was bullied a lot as a kid, so my dad told me to tell people if they asked what my father did, that he was in the German Mafia. So, naturally when my friends asked who was calling, I made the joke it was business cause my dad was in the German Mafia, and the joke stuck.  And it spread, too. Middle school was filled with jokes about my family and the mafia, but they were just jokes. That I was in the mafia, my dad was a mafia boss, etc. etc. Those jokes continued into high school, where, in my junior year I was in a big depressive spell. I wore my hair tied back from my face a lot, and in my history class, these jokes were cracked a little more often as we began our European Studies. One day, my History teacher, the most amazing teacher I had in high school, walked between me and my best friend, as our desks were right next to each other, while we had been making one of these jokes.  He paused, and reached out, tapping my right temple twice while a huge, cheeky grin spread on his face and he just went.  “Good to see you finished your induction.” and walked away. I was confused, my best friend and I were staring at each other for a solid ten minutes before we got back to work.  When I went home that night, I looked up a bunch of stuff about the German Mafia. The German Mafia would often do a tattoo of 3 dots on someone once they had finished their “trials” and were accepted. This was most often done in cases of murder, and other crimes. Where the tattoos were placed meant different things. Hands were the norm, but sometimes a tattoo would be placed on the face.  These tattoos are now mostly outdated, and are usually just prison tattoos done for years/crimes committed in prison, but some branches of Russian, Cuban, and German mafias still use the three dot tattoos.  I was flabbergasted for two reasons. One, that my teacher knew all of this about the German mafia, and, Two, that he pointed out the three freckles on my temple that make a perfect triangle.  For the rest of my Junior and Senior year, the mafia jokes dwindled less and less, because people actually believed I was in the mafia.  I never told them I wasn’t, either.

2srooky: giancarlovolpe: Based on a true story. this reminds me of a story that’s kind of an ongoing joke in my family.  I’m half German,...

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Clothes, cnn.com, and Dumb: The Independent @Independent Here's what you should do in the event of a nuclear attack ind.pn/ 2piOhjW 8/9/17, 3:19 PM NBC News @NBCNews NBC NEWS "Don't run. Get inside". What experts say to do in case of a nuclear attack nbcnews.to/2VNWTmt 8/9/17, 9:30 AM CN CNN @CNN Hawaii is preparing in case of a North Korea attack. Experts say you have about 15 min. to take cover after a launch cnn.it/2upXdZ9 biggest-goldiest-spoon: zoanzon: missmwynter: madlyinlov3onda: oakenroots: oakenroots: quietrain: shesheistyy: tripprophet: weavemama: ladies and gentlemen we have officially reached the “in case a nuclear attack happens” phase……. [x] This shit is wild. Wtf a table finna do for anybody?? There’s basically nothing you can do but die they’re doing this to give people a sense of safety , even though we full well know this won’t work at all. ALRIGHT KIDDOS LISTEN UP! I did emergency management for the air force which involves this fun thing called Plume Modelling (aka chart the path of death for a given bomb based on its payload, distance, type of detonation, etc) and let me tell you some actual LEGIT™ methods of minimizing damage to your life. Unless you are within the vaporization zone (where you turn into a fucking shadow because of your proximity to the blast) there is a specific order of events nuke blasts cause and there are ways to protect against these things. 1. There is this thing called a flash to bang ratio. It is really freaking important. The first wave from a nuke is a blinding flash of light that can literally FRY YOUR RETINAS. If you believe that a nuke has just dropped on your city, HIDE AND DONT LOOK AT IT. @shesheistyy a good solid table is good for this but you’re way less likely to go blind if you get to an internal room with no windows, especially one below ground. 2. After the flash there will be the bang. If the time between the flash and the bang, counted in Mississippi seconds, is more than 10 seconds you MIGHT survive and just die of cancer later. If it’s between five and 10 buckle up kiddos because the worst is yet to come. And well if it’s less than 3 you won’t live long enough to remember this. These are loose estimates only. 3. The “bang” usually announces the arrival of the fire ball. Yes. A massive heat shock will erupt from the core of the bomb and light pretty much every thing it comes into contact with, including your flesh, on fire. Back to that whole “metal buildings underground” thing. There’s really no getting around the whole getting lit on fire if you’re too close thing. 4. Fallout. When the bomb goes off it sucks all of the shit it just vaporized up into the air with it and as the blast cools, it begins to rain down the radioactive fucked molten wreckage onto everyone in a huge radius. Just because the fallout you can see has stopped doesn’t mean the molecular radiation has stopped. The survival factors for nuclear blasts are time, distance and shielding. The longer it takes for it to get to you the less of it there is. The further away from the source the less dead you are. Want to survive? Put 6 feet of concrete and/or 2 feet of lead between you and everything else. Yes. Those loons with their bunkers actually got something right. NOW! About radiation! If you are so fortunate as to survive one of these blasts and not be vaporized or burnt to a crisp or die of radiation poisoning within hours, you need to understand the types of radiation. Gamma radiation is the most “severe” in that it can penetrate your flesh through your clothes and house, causing severe illness. Gamma radiation fucks with your cell walls and disrupts your DNA. It kills you in hours, months or years. Some people survive decades. Think of gamma like the sun. Too much exposure gives you cancer. Now Beta, on the other hand, think of Beta particles like sand on the beach. Its in the air. Its in your clothes, in the creases of your fingers. But beta particles can burn through your flesh or get into your blood stream through open wounds. Luckily they can be stopped with nonporous materials, like rubber, or foil. Make that two points for the loony conspiracy theorists. Aluminum foil does protect from beta radiation. And finally, Alpha radiation. Think of alpha Radiation like dust motes. It takes a high density filter to prevent you from breathing them in and if you’re surrounded by rubble they’re probably everywhere. Alpha particles do the same thing as beta particles in terms of getting into your system and wrecking your shit. So! Survival? Most likely based on dumb luck. But! If you think you’re being nuked 1. get under ground or at least to an internal room of the building if no other options are available. 2. CLOSE YOUR EYES. Curl into the fetal position to protect your orifices and vital organs from gamma radiation and get low to the ground to reduce damage from the blast and potential ceiling collapse. 3.You will still feel the flash pass over you. Count. One, two, three… If you aren’t vaporized yet keep counting. Pray to every god ever imagined that you get to 10 before you hear the bang. 4. Bang. Try not to shit yourself. The fireball will follow almost instantly if you’re in range. Be prepared to start rolling to put yourself out. 5. Fallout rains down. Do not open your eyes. Do not stop praying. As hard as it is because time will feel as if it has slowed to a crawl, try not to leave your position for at least 30 minutes, although 60 minutes is better. At 30 minutes, only 60% of the potential fall out has fallen but by 60 minutes, up to 90% may have come down. 6. Remember, Alpha and beta radiation are particles. Do not put anything in your body that has not been thoroughly washed, dusted of or came from a sealed package. Point 3 for the conspiracy theorists, hot pockets and canned food are probably still safe. Do not leave shelter without goggles, and try to wrap yourself in a minimum of those weird space blankets but rubber and metal lined suits (like hazmat suits) are best for the job. Good luck in the future apocalypse! Reblogged with improved readability! Look whats Relevant again… I wonder if there’s any where to watch White Light, Black Rain. Saw it back in highschool. History repeats and all that jazz. After all, It’s not like ‘duck and cover’ and other nuclear protection methods of dubious quality weren’t a mainstream in the Cold War or anything… We’ve been here before. It’s just the first time around for us younger crowd. Stay safe.
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Drugs, Funny, and Heaven: promised to take them to his planet Florida couple arrested for selling tickets to heaven 4 A couple in Florida, Tito and Amanda me some money to go to outer space. Watts, were arrested a few days ago for I met an allen named Stevie, who said selling golden tickets to heaven to hundreds of people if I got the cash together he would take me and my wife on his flying saucer to They sold the tickets on the street for his planet that is made entirely of drugs. 599.99 (about sh390,000) per ticket, told You should arrest Jesus because he is the buyers the tickets were made from solid one that gave me the golden tickess. I am gold, and that each ticket reserved thewilling to wear a wire and set Jesus up" buyer a spot in heaven simply present In her police statement, Amanda Watts the ticket at the pearly gates and you are said: "We just wanted to leave carth and in. Tito Watts said in his police statement: anything, Tito sold the golden tickets to "I do not care what the Police say Theheaven. I just watched tickets are solid gold. And it was Jesus Police said they confiscated över who gave them to me behind the KFC S10,000 (sh39m) in cash, drug and told me to sell them so I could get paraphemalia and a baby alligator go to space and do drugs. I did not do e loki-against-onision: manic: loloftheday: If you think the headline is funny, read the article. Reblog if Jesus gave you solid gold tickets to Heaven behind a KFC

loki-against-onision: manic: loloftheday: If you think the headline is funny, read the article. Reblog if Jesus gave you solid gold tic...

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Drugs, Funny, and Heaven: promised to take them to his planet Florida couple arrested for selling tickets to heaven 4 A couple in Florida, Tito and Amanda me some money to go to outer space. Watts, were arrested a few days ago for I met an allen named Stevie, who said selling golden tickets to heaven to hundreds of people if I got the cash together he would take me and my wife on his flying saucer to They sold the tickets on the street for his planet that is made entirely of drugs. 599.99 (about sh390,000) per ticket, told You should arrest Jesus because he is the buyers the tickets were made from solid one that gave me the golden tickess. I am gold, and that each ticket reserved thewilling to wear a wire and set Jesus up" buyer a spot in heaven simply present In her police statement, Amanda Watts the ticket at the pearly gates and you are said: "We just wanted to leave carth and in. Tito Watts said in his police statement: anything, Tito sold the golden tickets to "I do not care what the Police say Theheaven. I just watched tickets are solid gold. And it was Jesus Police said they confiscated över who gave them to me behind the KFC S10,000 (sh39m) in cash, drug and told me to sell them so I could get paraphemalia and a baby alligator go to space and do drugs. I did not do e loki-against-onision: manic: loloftheday: If you think the headline is funny, read the article. Reblog if Jesus gave you solid gold tickets to Heaven behind a KFC

loki-against-onision: manic: loloftheday: If you think the headline is funny, read the article. Reblog if Jesus gave you solid gold tic...

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