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something Memes

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When The
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The
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Killing
When
When
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Meetings
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Orly
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Safety 

    
                    

                

            
        
    

    
    
    






            

            
            

                

                    
                

                

                    
                    
                    

                        


	


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                            Patrick Stewart loves your Picard memes: β€œI must've done something right”
                        
                    

                    
                

            
        
    
        
            
                

                    

                        
                        
                        
                    

                    
                    

                        
                            Is Benedict Cumberbatch a Stage Name? The Actor Almost Went With Something Else
                        
                    

                    
                

            
        
    
    






    

    
    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            









    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        scifiseries:

The Rampart Queen
Keira Akin dedicated her life to making the world a better place. All
 her ambitions and aspirations seem to be coming true when she seals a 
big resources treaty between hostile governments in the Mesopotamian 
region, but everything starts going wrong. When masked gunmen try to 
assassinate the Senate Chairmen, forgotten instincts take over. Now 
Keira finds herself the focal point in a global war against impossible 
odds. Can she find it in herself to marshal hidden powers to save the 
whole Earth from disaster?
The good news is she isn’t alone in this fight. A mysterious galactic
 organization steps in to help, but Keira is the one carrying the 
responsibility to save humanity from certain death. She must find four 
Knights to unlock her greatest power, but there’s a problem. Not only 
does Keira not know who they are, they don’t even know who they are. 
They don’t know anything about the war or their secret destiny. Worst of
 all, becoming Queen of Earth might just mean the end of all Keira holds
 dear. Is she really ready to sacrifice her hopes and dreams to become 
something altogether new and unknown?
: scifiseries:

The Rampart Queen
Keira Akin dedicated her life to making the world a better place. All
 her ambitions and aspirations seem to be coming true when she seals a 
big resources treaty between hostile governments in the Mesopotamian 
region, but everything starts going wrong. When masked gunmen try to 
assassinate the Senate Chairmen, forgotten instincts take over. Now 
Keira finds herself the focal point in a global war against impossible 
odds. Can she find it in herself to marshal hidden powers to save the 
whole Earth from disaster?
The good news is she isn’t alone in this fight. A mysterious galactic
 organization steps in to help, but Keira is the one carrying the 
responsibility to save humanity from certain death. She must find four 
Knights to unlock her greatest power, but there’s a problem. Not only 
does Keira not know who they are, they don’t even know who they are. 
They don’t know anything about the war or their secret destiny. Worst of
 all, becoming Queen of Earth might just mean the end of all Keira holds
 dear. Is she really ready to sacrifice her hopes and dreams to become 
something altogether new and unknown?

        

            
            

                
                
                    scifiseries:

The Rampart Queen
Keira Akin dedicated her life to making the world a better place. All
 her ambitions and aspirations seem to be coming true when she seals a 
big resources treaty between hostile governments in the Mesopotamian 
region, but everything starts going wrong. When masked gunmen try to 
assassinate the Senate Chairmen, forgotten instincts take over. Now 
Keira finds herself the focal point in a global war against impossible 
odds. Can she find it in herself to marshal hidden powers to save the 
whole Earth from disaster?
The good news is she isn’t alone in this fight. A mysterious galactic
 organization steps in to help, but Keira is the one carrying the 
responsibility to save humanity from certain death. She must find four 
Knights to unlock her greatest power, but there’s a problem. Not only 
does Keira not know who they are, they don’t even know who they are. 
They don’t know anything about the war or their secret destiny. Worst of
 all, becoming Queen of Earth might just mean the end of all Keira holds
 dear. Is she really ready to sacrifice her hopes and dreams to become 
something altogether new and unknown?
: scifiseries:

The Rampart Queen
Keira Akin dedicated her life to making the world a better place. All
 her ambitions and aspirations seem to be coming true when she seals a 
big resources treaty between hostile governments in the Mesopotamian 
region, but everything starts going wrong. When masked gunmen try to 
assassinate the Senate Chairmen, forgotten instincts take over. Now 
Keira finds herself the focal point in a global war against impossible 
odds. Can she find it in herself to marshal hidden powers to save the 
whole Earth from disaster?
The good news is she isn’t alone in this fight. A mysterious galactic
 organization steps in to help, but Keira is the one carrying the 
responsibility to save humanity from certain death. She must find four 
Knights to unlock her greatest power, but there’s a problem. Not only 
does Keira not know who they are, they don’t even know who they are. 
They don’t know anything about the war or their secret destiny. Worst of
 all, becoming Queen of Earth might just mean the end of all Keira holds
 dear. Is she really ready to sacrifice her hopes and dreams to become 
something altogether new and unknown?

                    
                
            

            
                
                
scifiseries:

The Rampart Queen
Keira Akin dedicated her life to making the world a better place. All
 her ambitions and aspirations seem...

                
            
            
        

    

    

        
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        the-strongest-decoy:
arcticfoxbear:

by-grace-of-god:

prolifeproliberty:

candiikismet:

gingersofficial:



Life path unlocked. He’s a scientist now. 



If your dad is telling you in great detail about something he’s passionate about, you’re going to be hooked even if you don’t understand a word.

He tells us more…
So now I have to deliver a quiet lecture on the Standard Model every night. He loves lists of things, like all the streets home from daycare, or the train stations between here and Central, so he loves hearing the list of leptons and quarks and bosons.
Anyway, I made this poster for him, based on the CPEP ones we used to have at uni .Β 
Alas I ran out of room for antimatter, colour charge and confinement, but hey, maybe there can be a second poster later.
It’s funny though β€” on the surface of it, it seems like it must be far too advanced for a 3yo. But when you think about it, quarks and leptons are no more or less real to him than, say, dinosaurs or planets, and he loves those too. And he recognises the letters on the particles.
I am absolutely overwhelmed by the kind and sweet things people are saying about this, thanks everyone ❀️
Addendum: he has really grasped onto the β€œeverything is made of atoms” part of this, so tonight he listed just about every object he could think of and asked if it was made of atoms.
β€œAnd my bed?”Yes, and your bed.β€œAnd that wall?”Yep.β€œAnd the armchair?”Yes, the armchair too.β€¦β€¦β€œAnd… the book case?”Yβ€”
β€œAnd my home?”Yep, the whole apartment block.β€œAnd your home? Oh wait, your home is my home.”Haha, it is.β€¦β€¦β€œBut is it made of atoms?”Yep.β€œAnd… [best friend]’s home?”Yes, it is. And [other friend]’s home, and [third friend]’s home.
β€œIs [yet another friend]’s home?”
Update from the other night:
β€œIs my… is… [extremely long pause] is my atoms poster made up of atoms?”—Yes! Yes it is.
I have never heard such a contemplative silence. I think the next poster will have to be on the philosophy of referential language.
Update from this morning: after listing everything in sight (mummy? daddy? fridge? milk? cereal? table? etc.) he asks β€œis [baby sister] made up of atoms?”
yep!
*runs over to her on the floor**puts face up real close to hers*β€œHI! YOU’RE MADE UP OF LOTS OF ATOMS! DID YOU KNOW?”

@radioactivepeasant @themagdalenwriting @iusedtohaveanaccount


β€œHI! YOU’RE MADE UP OF LOTS OF ATOMS! DID YOU KNOW?”



: the-strongest-decoy:
arcticfoxbear:

by-grace-of-god:

prolifeproliberty:

candiikismet:

gingersofficial:



Life path unlocked. He’s a scientist now. 



If your dad is telling you in great detail about something he’s passionate about, you’re going to be hooked even if you don’t understand a word.

He tells us more…
So now I have to deliver a quiet lecture on the Standard Model every night. He loves lists of things, like all the streets home from daycare, or the train stations between here and Central, so he loves hearing the list of leptons and quarks and bosons.
Anyway, I made this poster for him, based on the CPEP ones we used to have at uni .Β 
Alas I ran out of room for antimatter, colour charge and confinement, but hey, maybe there can be a second poster later.
It’s funny though β€” on the surface of it, it seems like it must be far too advanced for a 3yo. But when you think about it, quarks and leptons are no more or less real to him than, say, dinosaurs or planets, and he loves those too. And he recognises the letters on the particles.
I am absolutely overwhelmed by the kind and sweet things people are saying about this, thanks everyone ❀️
Addendum: he has really grasped onto the β€œeverything is made of atoms” part of this, so tonight he listed just about every object he could think of and asked if it was made of atoms.
β€œAnd my bed?”Yes, and your bed.β€œAnd that wall?”Yep.β€œAnd the armchair?”Yes, the armchair too.β€¦β€¦β€œAnd… the book case?”Yβ€”
β€œAnd my home?”Yep, the whole apartment block.β€œAnd your home? Oh wait, your home is my home.”Haha, it is.β€¦β€¦β€œBut is it made of atoms?”Yep.β€œAnd… [best friend]’s home?”Yes, it is. And [other friend]’s home, and [third friend]’s home.
β€œIs [yet another friend]’s home?”
Update from the other night:
β€œIs my… is… [extremely long pause] is my atoms poster made up of atoms?”—Yes! Yes it is.
I have never heard such a contemplative silence. I think the next poster will have to be on the philosophy of referential language.
Update from this morning: after listing everything in sight (mummy? daddy? fridge? milk? cereal? table? etc.) he asks β€œis [baby sister] made up of atoms?”
yep!
*runs over to her on the floor**puts face up real close to hers*β€œHI! YOU’RE MADE UP OF LOTS OF ATOMS! DID YOU KNOW?”

@radioactivepeasant @themagdalenwriting @iusedtohaveanaccount


β€œHI! YOU’RE MADE UP OF LOTS OF ATOMS! DID YOU KNOW?”




        

            
            

                
                
                    the-strongest-decoy:
arcticfoxbear:

by-grace-of-god:

prolifeproliberty:

candiikismet:

gingersofficial:



Life path unlocked. He’s a scientist now. 



If your dad is telling you in great detail about something he’s passionate about, you’re going to be hooked even if you don’t understand a word.

He tells us more…
So now I have to deliver a quiet lecture on the Standard Model every night. He loves lists of things, like all the streets home from daycare, or the train stations between here and Central, so he loves hearing the list of leptons and quarks and bosons.
Anyway, I made this poster for him, based on the CPEP ones we used to have at uni .Β 
Alas I ran out of room for antimatter, colour charge and confinement, but hey, maybe there can be a second poster later.
It’s funny though β€” on the surface of it, it seems like it must be far too advanced for a 3yo. But when you think about it, quarks and leptons are no more or less real to him than, say, dinosaurs or planets, and he loves those too. And he recognises the letters on the particles.
I am absolutely overwhelmed by the kind and sweet things people are saying about this, thanks everyone ❀️
Addendum: he has really grasped onto the β€œeverything is made of atoms” part of this, so tonight he listed just about every object he could think of and asked if it was made of atoms.
β€œAnd my bed?”Yes, and your bed.β€œAnd that wall?”Yep.β€œAnd the armchair?”Yes, the armchair too.β€¦β€¦β€œAnd… the book case?”Yβ€”
β€œAnd my home?”Yep, the whole apartment block.β€œAnd your home? Oh wait, your home is my home.”Haha, it is.β€¦β€¦β€œBut is it made of atoms?”Yep.β€œAnd… [best friend]’s home?”Yes, it is. And [other friend]’s home, and [third friend]’s home.
β€œIs [yet another friend]’s home?”
Update from the other night:
β€œIs my… is… [extremely long pause] is my atoms poster made up of atoms?”—Yes! Yes it is.
I have never heard such a contemplative silence. I think the next poster will have to be on the philosophy of referential language.
Update from this morning: after listing everything in sight (mummy? daddy? fridge? milk? cereal? table? etc.) he asks β€œis [baby sister] made up of atoms?”
yep!
*runs over to her on the floor**puts face up real close to hers*β€œHI! YOU’RE MADE UP OF LOTS OF ATOMS! DID YOU KNOW?”

@radioactivepeasant @themagdalenwriting @iusedtohaveanaccount


β€œHI! YOU’RE MADE UP OF LOTS OF ATOMS! DID YOU KNOW?”



: the-strongest-decoy:
arcticfoxbear:

by-grace-of-god:

prolifeproliberty:

candiikismet:

gingersofficial:



Life path unlocked. He’s a scientist now. 



If your dad is telling you in great detail about something he’s passionate about, you’re going to be hooked even if you don’t understand a word.

He tells us more…
So now I have to deliver a quiet lecture on the Standard Model every night. He loves lists of things, like all the streets home from daycare, or the train stations between here and Central, so he loves hearing the list of leptons and quarks and bosons.
Anyway, I made this poster for him, based on the CPEP ones we used to have at uni .Β 
Alas I ran out of room for antimatter, colour charge and confinement, but hey, maybe there can be a second poster later.
It’s funny though β€” on the surface of it, it seems like it must be far too advanced for a 3yo. But when you think about it, quarks and leptons are no more or less real to him than, say, dinosaurs or planets, and he loves those too. And he recognises the letters on the particles.
I am absolutely overwhelmed by the kind and sweet things people are saying about this, thanks everyone ❀️
Addendum: he has really grasped onto the β€œeverything is made of atoms” part of this, so tonight he listed just about every object he could think of and asked if it was made of atoms.
β€œAnd my bed?”Yes, and your bed.β€œAnd that wall?”Yep.β€œAnd the armchair?”Yes, the armchair too.β€¦β€¦β€œAnd… the book case?”Yβ€”
β€œAnd my home?”Yep, the whole apartment block.β€œAnd your home? Oh wait, your home is my home.”Haha, it is.β€¦β€¦β€œBut is it made of atoms?”Yep.β€œAnd… [best friend]’s home?”Yes, it is. And [other friend]’s home, and [third friend]’s home.
β€œIs [yet another friend]’s home?”
Update from the other night:
β€œIs my… is… [extremely long pause] is my atoms poster made up of atoms?”—Yes! Yes it is.
I have never heard such a contemplative silence. I think the next poster will have to be on the philosophy of referential language.
Update from this morning: after listing everything in sight (mummy? daddy? fridge? milk? cereal? table? etc.) he asks β€œis [baby sister] made up of atoms?”
yep!
*runs over to her on the floor**puts face up real close to hers*β€œHI! YOU’RE MADE UP OF LOTS OF ATOMS! DID YOU KNOW?”

@radioactivepeasant @themagdalenwriting @iusedtohaveanaccount


β€œHI! YOU’RE MADE UP OF LOTS OF ATOMS! DID YOU KNOW?”




                    
                
            

            
                
                
the-strongest-decoy:
arcticfoxbear:

by-grace-of-god:

prolifeproliberty:

candiikismet:

gingersofficial:



Life path unlocked. He’s a...

                
            
            
        

    

    

        
Save

    



        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            









    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        rubitrightintomyeyes:

theonion:

Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine
SEATTLEβ€”Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milstein’s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed.
β€œI guess at some point while she’s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,” said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was β€œthe only possible conclusion” about the light-gray rock in his girlfriend’s bathroom. β€œI mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But it’s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think it’s probably something she actually uses while under the water.”
β€œI really don’t know how it all works,” Ferris added. β€œAll I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, there’s a rock involved.”
Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on.
In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when he’s in Milstein’s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriend’s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average person’s considering she has added a rock into the mix.
Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful.
β€œI tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,” Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. β€œI could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe I’m wrong.”
β€œThere is a chance it could be a hair thing,” Ferris continued. β€œMaybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I don’t know.”
Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time.
β€œIt could be for cleaning the bathtub,” said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. β€œLike every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.”
While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower.
β€œI wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when she’s over here,” said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath & Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their β€œshower rocks.” β€œOr I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.”
β€œI’m probably not going to do that,” Ferris added.
At press time, a visibly perplexed Ferris had seen the rock sitting in Milstein’s trashcan and then looked in the shower to see another rock sitting in its place.


: rubitrightintomyeyes:

theonion:

Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine
SEATTLEβ€”Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milstein’s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed.
β€œI guess at some point while she’s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,” said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was β€œthe only possible conclusion” about the light-gray rock in his girlfriend’s bathroom. β€œI mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But it’s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think it’s probably something she actually uses while under the water.”
β€œI really don’t know how it all works,” Ferris added. β€œAll I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, there’s a rock involved.”
Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on.
In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when he’s in Milstein’s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriend’s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average person’s considering she has added a rock into the mix.
Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful.
β€œI tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,” Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. β€œI could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe I’m wrong.”
β€œThere is a chance it could be a hair thing,” Ferris continued. β€œMaybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I don’t know.”
Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time.
β€œIt could be for cleaning the bathtub,” said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. β€œLike every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.”
While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower.
β€œI wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when she’s over here,” said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath & Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their β€œshower rocks.” β€œOr I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.”
β€œI’m probably not going to do that,” Ferris added.
At press time, a visibly perplexed Ferris had seen the rock sitting in Milstein’s trashcan and then looked in the shower to see another rock sitting in its place.



        

            
            

                
                
                    rubitrightintomyeyes:

theonion:

Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine
SEATTLEβ€”Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milstein’s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed.
β€œI guess at some point while she’s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,” said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was β€œthe only possible conclusion” about the light-gray rock in his girlfriend’s bathroom. β€œI mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But it’s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think it’s probably something she actually uses while under the water.”
β€œI really don’t know how it all works,” Ferris added. β€œAll I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, there’s a rock involved.”
Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on.
In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when he’s in Milstein’s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriend’s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average person’s considering she has added a rock into the mix.
Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful.
β€œI tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,” Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. β€œI could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe I’m wrong.”
β€œThere is a chance it could be a hair thing,” Ferris continued. β€œMaybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I don’t know.”
Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time.
β€œIt could be for cleaning the bathtub,” said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. β€œLike every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.”
While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower.
β€œI wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when she’s over here,” said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath & Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their β€œshower rocks.” β€œOr I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.”
β€œI’m probably not going to do that,” Ferris added.
At press time, a visibly perplexed Ferris had seen the rock sitting in Milstein’s trashcan and then looked in the shower to see another rock sitting in its place.


: rubitrightintomyeyes:

theonion:

Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine
SEATTLEβ€”Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milstein’s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed.
β€œI guess at some point while she’s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,” said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was β€œthe only possible conclusion” about the light-gray rock in his girlfriend’s bathroom. β€œI mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But it’s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think it’s probably something she actually uses while under the water.”
β€œI really don’t know how it all works,” Ferris added. β€œAll I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, there’s a rock involved.”
Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on.
In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when he’s in Milstein’s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriend’s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average person’s considering she has added a rock into the mix.
Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful.
β€œI tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,” Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. β€œI could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe I’m wrong.”
β€œThere is a chance it could be a hair thing,” Ferris continued. β€œMaybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I don’t know.”
Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time.
β€œIt could be for cleaning the bathtub,” said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. β€œLike every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.”
While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower.
β€œI wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when she’s over here,” said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath & Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their β€œshower rocks.” β€œOr I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.”
β€œI’m probably not going to do that,” Ferris added.
At press time, a visibly perplexed Ferris had seen the rock sitting in Milstein’s trashcan and then looked in the shower to see another rock sitting in its place.



                    
                
            

            
                
                
rubitrightintomyeyes:

theonion:

Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine
SEATTLEβ€”Saying he was confused about the full...

                
            
            
        

    

    

        
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        quecksilvereyes:

blackqueerblog:
Some parents really don’t understand the difference between actual discipline and hurting your kids.

This teaches a kid nothing except needing to hide what makes them happy because they’re scared their parents will destroy it.




also????? wake up your kid if they don’t hear their alarm????? dont do this????


I get the point on needing to be able to wake up by himself, but 1 - alarms don’t promote that either and 2 - he’s 9.If he’s sleeping in, especially at a younger age? There’s something wrong. Kids tend to wale up early, have high energy, etc. He’s either unable to sleep at night due to the monotony of the day not taking up enough energy, or being in lockdown has been affecting his mental health, which will make him more tired, or maybe he’s feeling ill and sees no reason to mention it because it won’t affect anything, or who knows what else. Don’t punish your kid for sleeping late, make sure they’re okay and maybe, if they feel they need more sleep, add an extra hour on in the morning or something. Saying that if he doesn’t wake up on time there will be consequences, which will stress him out and stop him sleeping, maybe even motivating him to stay up all night instead of risking oversleeping. We don’t have control over when we wake up, and if he’s sleeping through alarms, something needs to change. Maybe even changing the sound will help, but you gotta try and find a solution to whatever is causing him to oversleep, not make him feel bad for it and, in the process, lose his trust.Also, just so you know, postive reinforcement (giving a reward) and negative reinforcement (temoving something bad - such as painkillers removing a headache) work miles better than punishment (destroying something they love and are proud of).: quecksilvereyes:

blackqueerblog:
Some parents really don’t understand the difference between actual discipline and hurting your kids.

This teaches a kid nothing except needing to hide what makes them happy because they’re scared their parents will destroy it.




also????? wake up your kid if they don’t hear their alarm????? dont do this????


I get the point on needing to be able to wake up by himself, but 1 - alarms don’t promote that either and 2 - he’s 9.If he’s sleeping in, especially at a younger age? There’s something wrong. Kids tend to wale up early, have high energy, etc. He’s either unable to sleep at night due to the monotony of the day not taking up enough energy, or being in lockdown has been affecting his mental health, which will make him more tired, or maybe he’s feeling ill and sees no reason to mention it because it won’t affect anything, or who knows what else. Don’t punish your kid for sleeping late, make sure they’re okay and maybe, if they feel they need more sleep, add an extra hour on in the morning or something. Saying that if he doesn’t wake up on time there will be consequences, which will stress him out and stop him sleeping, maybe even motivating him to stay up all night instead of risking oversleeping. We don’t have control over when we wake up, and if he’s sleeping through alarms, something needs to change. Maybe even changing the sound will help, but you gotta try and find a solution to whatever is causing him to oversleep, not make him feel bad for it and, in the process, lose his trust.Also, just so you know, postive reinforcement (giving a reward) and negative reinforcement (temoving something bad - such as painkillers removing a headache) work miles better than punishment (destroying something they love and are proud of).
        

            
            

                
                
                    quecksilvereyes:

blackqueerblog:
Some parents really don’t understand the difference between actual discipline and hurting your kids.

This teaches a kid nothing except needing to hide what makes them happy because they’re scared their parents will destroy it.




also????? wake up your kid if they don’t hear their alarm????? dont do this????


I get the point on needing to be able to wake up by himself, but 1 - alarms don’t promote that either and 2 - he’s 9.If he’s sleeping in, especially at a younger age? There’s something wrong. Kids tend to wale up early, have high energy, etc. He’s either unable to sleep at night due to the monotony of the day not taking up enough energy, or being in lockdown has been affecting his mental health, which will make him more tired, or maybe he’s feeling ill and sees no reason to mention it because it won’t affect anything, or who knows what else. Don’t punish your kid for sleeping late, make sure they’re okay and maybe, if they feel they need more sleep, add an extra hour on in the morning or something. Saying that if he doesn’t wake up on time there will be consequences, which will stress him out and stop him sleeping, maybe even motivating him to stay up all night instead of risking oversleeping. We don’t have control over when we wake up, and if he’s sleeping through alarms, something needs to change. Maybe even changing the sound will help, but you gotta try and find a solution to whatever is causing him to oversleep, not make him feel bad for it and, in the process, lose his trust.Also, just so you know, postive reinforcement (giving a reward) and negative reinforcement (temoving something bad - such as painkillers removing a headache) work miles better than punishment (destroying something they love and are proud of).: quecksilvereyes:

blackqueerblog:
Some parents really don’t understand the difference between actual discipline and hurting your kids.

This teaches a kid nothing except needing to hide what makes them happy because they’re scared their parents will destroy it.




also????? wake up your kid if they don’t hear their alarm????? dont do this????


I get the point on needing to be able to wake up by himself, but 1 - alarms don’t promote that either and 2 - he’s 9.If he’s sleeping in, especially at a younger age? There’s something wrong. Kids tend to wale up early, have high energy, etc. He’s either unable to sleep at night due to the monotony of the day not taking up enough energy, or being in lockdown has been affecting his mental health, which will make him more tired, or maybe he’s feeling ill and sees no reason to mention it because it won’t affect anything, or who knows what else. Don’t punish your kid for sleeping late, make sure they’re okay and maybe, if they feel they need more sleep, add an extra hour on in the morning or something. Saying that if he doesn’t wake up on time there will be consequences, which will stress him out and stop him sleeping, maybe even motivating him to stay up all night instead of risking oversleeping. We don’t have control over when we wake up, and if he’s sleeping through alarms, something needs to change. Maybe even changing the sound will help, but you gotta try and find a solution to whatever is causing him to oversleep, not make him feel bad for it and, in the process, lose his trust.Also, just so you know, postive reinforcement (giving a reward) and negative reinforcement (temoving something bad - such as painkillers removing a headache) work miles better than punishment (destroying something they love and are proud of).
                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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        legitimatelala:
a-snarling-slytherin:

satanstrousers:

sweaterkittensahoy:


leaper182:


jenovaii:


littlekiwi37-archive:


nicole-coenen:
Women Self Defense in 1947

I’m not sure what’s the best part of this video: the fact that she’s in heels, the fact that she does the whole thing looking like she don’t give a fuck, that chick in the back just exercising and enjoying the show, or the fact that both men and women are observing this and the girls are laughing and the guys look concerned/pensive as fuck as they watch all their tactics get shut down like nothing is even happening.


… msties is it just me or is this familiar?


Some of these are moves I haven’t seen before.


Some of this looks similar to the self defense I learned in a course three or four years ago. It’s definitely got some judo in it (arm bars, throws, fighting to and from the ground). I love this lady. She is rad. I feel like she, much like the rad lady I had as my self defense teacher, would also warn the women that if they don’t think they can gouge out someone’s eyes, don’t start trying because you’ll attack better with something you can follow through on.


crimelords I’m sorry I couldn’t not reblog this for you


The cheerful music makes it even better 



Exactly the music sets it off
: legitimatelala:
a-snarling-slytherin:

satanstrousers:

sweaterkittensahoy:


leaper182:


jenovaii:


littlekiwi37-archive:


nicole-coenen:
Women Self Defense in 1947

I’m not sure what’s the best part of this video: the fact that she’s in heels, the fact that she does the whole thing looking like she don’t give a fuck, that chick in the back just exercising and enjoying the show, or the fact that both men and women are observing this and the girls are laughing and the guys look concerned/pensive as fuck as they watch all their tactics get shut down like nothing is even happening.


… msties is it just me or is this familiar?


Some of these are moves I haven’t seen before.


Some of this looks similar to the self defense I learned in a course three or four years ago. It’s definitely got some judo in it (arm bars, throws, fighting to and from the ground). I love this lady. She is rad. I feel like she, much like the rad lady I had as my self defense teacher, would also warn the women that if they don’t think they can gouge out someone’s eyes, don’t start trying because you’ll attack better with something you can follow through on.


crimelords I’m sorry I couldn’t not reblog this for you


The cheerful music makes it even better 



Exactly the music sets it off

        

            
            

                
                
                    legitimatelala:
a-snarling-slytherin:

satanstrousers:

sweaterkittensahoy:


leaper182:


jenovaii:


littlekiwi37-archive:


nicole-coenen:
Women Self Defense in 1947

I’m not sure what’s the best part of this video: the fact that she’s in heels, the fact that she does the whole thing looking like she don’t give a fuck, that chick in the back just exercising and enjoying the show, or the fact that both men and women are observing this and the girls are laughing and the guys look concerned/pensive as fuck as they watch all their tactics get shut down like nothing is even happening.


… msties is it just me or is this familiar?


Some of these are moves I haven’t seen before.


Some of this looks similar to the self defense I learned in a course three or four years ago. It’s definitely got some judo in it (arm bars, throws, fighting to and from the ground). I love this lady. She is rad. I feel like she, much like the rad lady I had as my self defense teacher, would also warn the women that if they don’t think they can gouge out someone’s eyes, don’t start trying because you’ll attack better with something you can follow through on.


crimelords I’m sorry I couldn’t not reblog this for you


The cheerful music makes it even better 



Exactly the music sets it off
: legitimatelala:
a-snarling-slytherin:

satanstrousers:

sweaterkittensahoy:


leaper182:


jenovaii:


littlekiwi37-archive:


nicole-coenen:
Women Self Defense in 1947

I’m not sure what’s the best part of this video: the fact that she’s in heels, the fact that she does the whole thing looking like she don’t give a fuck, that chick in the back just exercising and enjoying the show, or the fact that both men and women are observing this and the girls are laughing and the guys look concerned/pensive as fuck as they watch all their tactics get shut down like nothing is even happening.


… msties is it just me or is this familiar?


Some of these are moves I haven’t seen before.


Some of this looks similar to the self defense I learned in a course three or four years ago. It’s definitely got some judo in it (arm bars, throws, fighting to and from the ground). I love this lady. She is rad. I feel like she, much like the rad lady I had as my self defense teacher, would also warn the women that if they don’t think they can gouge out someone’s eyes, don’t start trying because you’ll attack better with something you can follow through on.


crimelords I’m sorry I couldn’t not reblog this for you


The cheerful music makes it even better 



Exactly the music sets it off

                    
                    

                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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        cereusblue:
unnameablethings:


dragonsateyourtoast:

redporkpadthai:

dragonsateyourtoast:

otherwindow:

otherwindow:
This is how the golden age of piracy ended.
The first mermaid to get tattoos :)


β€œwe didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. β€œwhat do we do now?”
β€œkill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes.
β€œwe can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. β€œwe can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.”
β€œi know.”
x
β€œdaddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, β€œdaddy, la-la, la-la-la.”
her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her.
β€œdaddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor.
β€œdon’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing.
x
β€œfather,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, β€œwhy am I here?”
β€œyour mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. β€œwe found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.”
she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. β€œalright,” she says.
x
β€œwhy am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam.
β€œwe didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. β€œwe didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.”
she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family.
β€œit’s alright,” she says. β€œi do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.”
x
her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. β€œi don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, β€œnow i match all of you.”
the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. β€œwe shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass.
β€œwhy not?” the mermaid asks.
β€œhe’ll win,” the first mate says.
the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. β€œare you sure?” she asks.
x
the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her.
β€œdon’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, β€œit was fun.”
x
the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape.
β€œlet me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. β€œbring me up, quickly, quickly.”
they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her.
she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings.
the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone.
x
she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea.
x
β€œyou know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her.
she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise.
β€œi know,” she says, β€œi can feel it coming.”
the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. 
β€œwe love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either.
β€œi love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time.
β€œguard the ship,” the captain says. β€œyou always have but you know they’re lost without you.”
β€œwithout you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. β€œwhat will we do?”
β€œi don’t know,” the captain says. β€œbut you’ll help them, won’t you?”
β€œof course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. β€œi will always protect my family.”
x
the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid.
β€œyou know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock.
the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. β€œis that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy.
β€œthey said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. β€œi always thought they were telling tall tales.”
β€œand now?”
β€œthey were right,” the new captain says. β€œhow did they ever befriend you?”
the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. β€œthey didn’t know any better.”

She protects her family.

Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817
That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there!




HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER
: cereusblue:
unnameablethings:


dragonsateyourtoast:

redporkpadthai:

dragonsateyourtoast:

otherwindow:

otherwindow:
This is how the golden age of piracy ended.
The first mermaid to get tattoos :)


β€œwe didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. β€œwhat do we do now?”
β€œkill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes.
β€œwe can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. β€œwe can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.”
β€œi know.”
x
β€œdaddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, β€œdaddy, la-la, la-la-la.”
her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her.
β€œdaddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor.
β€œdon’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing.
x
β€œfather,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, β€œwhy am I here?”
β€œyour mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. β€œwe found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.”
she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. β€œalright,” she says.
x
β€œwhy am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam.
β€œwe didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. β€œwe didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.”
she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family.
β€œit’s alright,” she says. β€œi do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.”
x
her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. β€œi don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, β€œnow i match all of you.”
the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. β€œwe shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass.
β€œwhy not?” the mermaid asks.
β€œhe’ll win,” the first mate says.
the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. β€œare you sure?” she asks.
x
the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her.
β€œdon’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, β€œit was fun.”
x
the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape.
β€œlet me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. β€œbring me up, quickly, quickly.”
they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her.
she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings.
the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone.
x
she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea.
x
β€œyou know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her.
she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise.
β€œi know,” she says, β€œi can feel it coming.”
the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. 
β€œwe love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either.
β€œi love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time.
β€œguard the ship,” the captain says. β€œyou always have but you know they’re lost without you.”
β€œwithout you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. β€œwhat will we do?”
β€œi don’t know,” the captain says. β€œbut you’ll help them, won’t you?”
β€œof course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. β€œi will always protect my family.”
x
the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid.
β€œyou know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock.
the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. β€œis that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy.
β€œthey said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. β€œi always thought they were telling tall tales.”
β€œand now?”
β€œthey were right,” the new captain says. β€œhow did they ever befriend you?”
the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. β€œthey didn’t know any better.”

She protects her family.

Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817
That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there!




HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER

        

            
            

                
                
                    cereusblue:
unnameablethings:


dragonsateyourtoast:

redporkpadthai:

dragonsateyourtoast:

otherwindow:

otherwindow:
This is how the golden age of piracy ended.
The first mermaid to get tattoos :)


β€œwe didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. β€œwhat do we do now?”
β€œkill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes.
β€œwe can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. β€œwe can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.”
β€œi know.”
x
β€œdaddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, β€œdaddy, la-la, la-la-la.”
her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her.
β€œdaddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor.
β€œdon’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing.
x
β€œfather,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, β€œwhy am I here?”
β€œyour mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. β€œwe found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.”
she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. β€œalright,” she says.
x
β€œwhy am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam.
β€œwe didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. β€œwe didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.”
she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family.
β€œit’s alright,” she says. β€œi do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.”
x
her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. β€œi don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, β€œnow i match all of you.”
the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. β€œwe shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass.
β€œwhy not?” the mermaid asks.
β€œhe’ll win,” the first mate says.
the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. β€œare you sure?” she asks.
x
the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her.
β€œdon’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, β€œit was fun.”
x
the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape.
β€œlet me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. β€œbring me up, quickly, quickly.”
they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her.
she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings.
the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone.
x
she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea.
x
β€œyou know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her.
she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise.
β€œi know,” she says, β€œi can feel it coming.”
the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. 
β€œwe love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either.
β€œi love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time.
β€œguard the ship,” the captain says. β€œyou always have but you know they’re lost without you.”
β€œwithout you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. β€œwhat will we do?”
β€œi don’t know,” the captain says. β€œbut you’ll help them, won’t you?”
β€œof course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. β€œi will always protect my family.”
x
the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid.
β€œyou know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock.
the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. β€œis that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy.
β€œthey said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. β€œi always thought they were telling tall tales.”
β€œand now?”
β€œthey were right,” the new captain says. β€œhow did they ever befriend you?”
the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. β€œthey didn’t know any better.”

She protects her family.

Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817
That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there!




HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER
: cereusblue:
unnameablethings:


dragonsateyourtoast:

redporkpadthai:

dragonsateyourtoast:

otherwindow:

otherwindow:
This is how the golden age of piracy ended.
The first mermaid to get tattoos :)


β€œwe didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. β€œwhat do we do now?”
β€œkill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes.
β€œwe can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. β€œwe can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.”
β€œi know.”
x
β€œdaddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, β€œdaddy, la-la, la-la-la.”
her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her.
β€œdaddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor.
β€œdon’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing.
x
β€œfather,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, β€œwhy am I here?”
β€œyour mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. β€œwe found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.”
she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. β€œalright,” she says.
x
β€œwhy am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam.
β€œwe didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. β€œwe didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.”
she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family.
β€œit’s alright,” she says. β€œi do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.”
x
her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. β€œi don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, β€œnow i match all of you.”
the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. β€œwe shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass.
β€œwhy not?” the mermaid asks.
β€œhe’ll win,” the first mate says.
the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. β€œare you sure?” she asks.
x
the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her.
β€œdon’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, β€œit was fun.”
x
the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape.
β€œlet me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. β€œbring me up, quickly, quickly.”
they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her.
she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings.
the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone.
x
she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea.
x
β€œyou know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her.
she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise.
β€œi know,” she says, β€œi can feel it coming.”
the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. 
β€œwe love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either.
β€œi love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time.
β€œguard the ship,” the captain says. β€œyou always have but you know they’re lost without you.”
β€œwithout you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. β€œwhat will we do?”
β€œi don’t know,” the captain says. β€œbut you’ll help them, won’t you?”
β€œof course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. β€œi will always protect my family.”
x
the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid.
β€œyou know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock.
the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. β€œis that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy.
β€œthey said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. β€œi always thought they were telling tall tales.”
β€œand now?”
β€œthey were right,” the new captain says. β€œhow did they ever befriend you?”
the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. β€œthey didn’t know any better.”

She protects her family.

Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817
That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there!




HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER

                    
                
            

            
                
                
cereusblue:
unnameablethings:


dragonsateyourtoast:

redporkpadthai:

dragonsateyourtoast:

otherwindow:

otherwindow:
This is how the g...

                
            
            
        

    

    

        
Save

    



        

    

    
    

        

            









    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        rainbowd00dles:

Kevin started to say something Neil knew would be negative and dismissing. Neil reached behind Andrew and popped Kevin in the back of the head to shut him up. Matt choked on a laugh and tried unsuccessfully to pass it off as a cough. Kevin froze for a startled second, then sent Neil a scathing look.β€œNo one wants to hear that right now.” Neil said.Β β€œIf you hit me again,” Kevin started.Andrew cut in with a casual,Β β€œYou’ll what?”Kevin shut up but didn’t look happy about itplease accept this unfinished contribution to the aftg fandom. it’s been a while since the last time i drew a book scene. i’m not feeling shading right now lmaoΒ : rainbowd00dles:

Kevin started to say something Neil knew would be negative and dismissing. Neil reached behind Andrew and popped Kevin in the back of the head to shut him up. Matt choked on a laugh and tried unsuccessfully to pass it off as a cough. Kevin froze for a startled second, then sent Neil a scathing look.β€œNo one wants to hear that right now.” Neil said.Β β€œIf you hit me again,” Kevin started.Andrew cut in with a casual,Β β€œYou’ll what?”Kevin shut up but didn’t look happy about itplease accept this unfinished contribution to the aftg fandom. it’s been a while since the last time i drew a book scene. i’m not feeling shading right now lmaoΒ 
        

            
            

                
                
                    rainbowd00dles:

Kevin started to say something Neil knew would be negative and dismissing. Neil reached behind Andrew and popped Kevin in the back of the head to shut him up. Matt choked on a laugh and tried unsuccessfully to pass it off as a cough. Kevin froze for a startled second, then sent Neil a scathing look.β€œNo one wants to hear that right now.” Neil said.Β β€œIf you hit me again,” Kevin started.Andrew cut in with a casual,Β β€œYou’ll what?”Kevin shut up but didn’t look happy about itplease accept this unfinished contribution to the aftg fandom. it’s been a while since the last time i drew a book scene. i’m not feeling shading right now lmaoΒ : rainbowd00dles:

Kevin started to say something Neil knew would be negative and dismissing. Neil reached behind Andrew and popped Kevin in the back of the head to shut him up. Matt choked on a laugh and tried unsuccessfully to pass it off as a cough. Kevin froze for a startled second, then sent Neil a scathing look.β€œNo one wants to hear that right now.” Neil said.Β β€œIf you hit me again,” Kevin started.Andrew cut in with a casual,Β β€œYou’ll what?”Kevin shut up but didn’t look happy about itplease accept this unfinished contribution to the aftg fandom. it’s been a while since the last time i drew a book scene. i’m not feeling shading right now lmaoΒ 
                    
                
            

            
                
                
rainbowd00dles:

Kevin started to say something Neil knew would be negative and dismissing. Neil reached behind Andrew and popped Kevin i...

                
            
            
        

    

    

        
Save

    



        

    

    
    

        

            









    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        ups-dogs:

On this day I was challenged…and on this day, I prevailed.Beset upon on all sides by this veritable menagerie of merciless, multi-species moochers, I was determined to dig deep in order to satisfy their dissimilar and daunting dietary demands. My time in the Boy Scouts taught me β€œbe prepared” and I have carried that lesson into my career at UPS by always maintaining a supply of carrots for horses, granola bars for the swine, and, of course, Milk Bones for the dogs.I am proud to say that I was finally rewarded for my preparations by this powerful example of pure photographic perfection; a profound, poignant and pastoral picture of a pittie, piggy and pony posse….all in one shot!A lesser driver would have squandered this golden opportunity by simply retreating, leaving nothing but a trail of hungry and frustrated animals in his wake. But not I. Thirty one years of experience plying my trade on the lonely back roads of Newberg, Oregon have taught me a valuable lesson; that excuses are never an option. I have a solemn duty to uphold. The uniform that I proudly wear says β€œUPS” and that brand name stands for something; Unlimited Puppypiggypony Snacks!By Scott Hodges.: ups-dogs:

On this day I was challenged…and on this day, I prevailed.Beset upon on all sides by this veritable menagerie of merciless, multi-species moochers, I was determined to dig deep in order to satisfy their dissimilar and daunting dietary demands. My time in the Boy Scouts taught me β€œbe prepared” and I have carried that lesson into my career at UPS by always maintaining a supply of carrots for horses, granola bars for the swine, and, of course, Milk Bones for the dogs.I am proud to say that I was finally rewarded for my preparations by this powerful example of pure photographic perfection; a profound, poignant and pastoral picture of a pittie, piggy and pony posse….all in one shot!A lesser driver would have squandered this golden opportunity by simply retreating, leaving nothing but a trail of hungry and frustrated animals in his wake. But not I. Thirty one years of experience plying my trade on the lonely back roads of Newberg, Oregon have taught me a valuable lesson; that excuses are never an option. I have a solemn duty to uphold. The uniform that I proudly wear says β€œUPS” and that brand name stands for something; Unlimited Puppypiggypony Snacks!By Scott Hodges.
        

            
            

                
                
                    ups-dogs:

On this day I was challenged…and on this day, I prevailed.Beset upon on all sides by this veritable menagerie of merciless, multi-species moochers, I was determined to dig deep in order to satisfy their dissimilar and daunting dietary demands. My time in the Boy Scouts taught me β€œbe prepared” and I have carried that lesson into my career at UPS by always maintaining a supply of carrots for horses, granola bars for the swine, and, of course, Milk Bones for the dogs.I am proud to say that I was finally rewarded for my preparations by this powerful example of pure photographic perfection; a profound, poignant and pastoral picture of a pittie, piggy and pony posse….all in one shot!A lesser driver would have squandered this golden opportunity by simply retreating, leaving nothing but a trail of hungry and frustrated animals in his wake. But not I. Thirty one years of experience plying my trade on the lonely back roads of Newberg, Oregon have taught me a valuable lesson; that excuses are never an option. I have a solemn duty to uphold. The uniform that I proudly wear says β€œUPS” and that brand name stands for something; Unlimited Puppypiggypony Snacks!By Scott Hodges.: ups-dogs:

On this day I was challenged…and on this day, I prevailed.Beset upon on all sides by this veritable menagerie of merciless, multi-species moochers, I was determined to dig deep in order to satisfy their dissimilar and daunting dietary demands. My time in the Boy Scouts taught me β€œbe prepared” and I have carried that lesson into my career at UPS by always maintaining a supply of carrots for horses, granola bars for the swine, and, of course, Milk Bones for the dogs.I am proud to say that I was finally rewarded for my preparations by this powerful example of pure photographic perfection; a profound, poignant and pastoral picture of a pittie, piggy and pony posse….all in one shot!A lesser driver would have squandered this golden opportunity by simply retreating, leaving nothing but a trail of hungry and frustrated animals in his wake. But not I. Thirty one years of experience plying my trade on the lonely back roads of Newberg, Oregon have taught me a valuable lesson; that excuses are never an option. I have a solemn duty to uphold. The uniform that I proudly wear says β€œUPS” and that brand name stands for something; Unlimited Puppypiggypony Snacks!By Scott Hodges.
                    
                
            

            
                
                
ups-dogs:

On this day I was challenged…and on this day, I prevailed.Beset upon on all sides by this veritable menagerie of merciless, mu...

                
            
            
        

    

    

        
Save

    



        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            









    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        normal-horoscopes:

normal-horoscopes:

occultbreakfast:

normal-horoscopes:

viral-witchcraft:


normal-horoscopes:


pieandhotdogs:


normal-horoscopes:


trashcollectshere:

normal-horoscopes:


alchemicwizard:

normal-horoscopes:

normal-horoscopes:
NOT TO DUNK ON THE ROSICRUCIANS BUT THE ROSY CROSS IS THE UGLIEST THING EVER
Β - HEBREW CHARACTERS FOR A CHRISTIAN ESOTERIC SYMBOLΒ - FOUR USES OF THE ALKALAI SYMBOL BUT NO USES OF NITREΒ - NICE HEXAGRAM STAR TRUST US WE ARENT ANTISEMITICΒ - β€œWHAT IF WE INCORPORATED COLOR INTO THE WORKING?β€œΒ - INRIΒ - β€œIS THERE A SYMBOL FOR AIR?β€œ β€œIDK DUDE JUST DRAW A BIRDβ€œΒ - β€œWHAT ABOUT WATER?β€œ β€œDUDE JUST PICK A WATER ZODIACβ€œΒ - β€œWHICH WATER ZODIAC?β€œ β€œIT DOESN’T MATTERβ€œΒ - β€œPUT GOLD OVER THE R IN REX SO PEOPLE KNOW ITS IMPORTANTβ€œΒ - OCCULT GRAPHIC DESIGN IS MY PASSION

Literally every aspect of it is just awful. My Hebrew isnt as good as it should be but I’m 99% certain that Hebrew is complete gibberish. 
ALSO the water symbol looks like aquarius which I’m sure pretty much everyone is aware is an air sign. What a fucking mess. 
I remember when we studied these losers in my art and occulture class I had to leave the room because I was laughing too hard at how much they suck. 

IT IS GIBBERISH BC ITS JUST THE ENTIRE ALPHABETWHICH IS LIKE AN INSECURE CHEF GETTING NERVOUS AND JUST PUTTING EVERY SEASONING THEY HAVE INTO THE POT 



I dont do occult stuff but i assume this is a mess to look at knowing the meaning but. Not knowing? The colors are awful, the symbols are placed carefully but look hard to decipher. The letters are hard to read and all around this could probably be replaced with something much easier to comphrehend and use.

EXACTLY
THIS IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN β€œGOOD” AND β€œBAD” SIGILWORK
TO SOMEONE WITH NO KNOWLEDGE OF THE OCCULT THE ROSY CROSS /FEELS/ LIKE IT HAS POWER BUT IT ALSO FEELS JUMBLED MESSY OVERLY COMPLICATED AND JUST PLAIN UGLY 
WHEN IT COMES TO SIGILWORK INTRICACY = POWER BUT CLARITY = ACCURACY AND THE ROSY CROSS FAILS ON BOTH FRONTS 



You wanna know what the kicker is. Aquarius *is* the symbol for air here. The upper left point of a pentagram is attributed to air. The elemental points are assigned to the fixed signs of the zodiac. That’s why we see Taurus, Leo, and Aquarius. The water point is attributed to Scorpio, but they drew an EAGLE INSTEAD OF THE SYMBOL FOR SCORPIO BECAUSE FUCK IT NOTHING MATTERS



SEE THEY ALREADY USED SCORPIO ON BEING ANTISEMITIC ON THE INRI DIAGRAM 



This looks like a fucking board game.



OH MY GOD YOURE RIGHT
IT LOOKS LIKE A PART TO SOME REDICULOUSLY COMPLEX BOARD GAME YOUR FRIEND SWORE IS THE FUNNEST THING EVER 
THE ROSY CROSS TAKES 90 MINUTES TO SET UP AND HAS FOUR DIFFERENT DECKS OF CARDS SPECIAL DICE AND TWO DIFFERENT PLASTIC HOURGLASSES 

@normal-horoscopes This reminds me of the Hermetic Chess invented by the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn. Right down to being too colorful and overly complicated


HANG ON I NEED TO GOOGLE SOME THINGS 


MERCIFUL NIGHT : normal-horoscopes:

normal-horoscopes:

occultbreakfast:

normal-horoscopes:

viral-witchcraft:


normal-horoscopes:


pieandhotdogs:


normal-horoscopes:


trashcollectshere:

normal-horoscopes:


alchemicwizard:

normal-horoscopes:

normal-horoscopes:
NOT TO DUNK ON THE ROSICRUCIANS BUT THE ROSY CROSS IS THE UGLIEST THING EVER
Β - HEBREW CHARACTERS FOR A CHRISTIAN ESOTERIC SYMBOLΒ - FOUR USES OF THE ALKALAI SYMBOL BUT NO USES OF NITREΒ - NICE HEXAGRAM STAR TRUST US WE ARENT ANTISEMITICΒ - β€œWHAT IF WE INCORPORATED COLOR INTO THE WORKING?β€œΒ - INRIΒ - β€œIS THERE A SYMBOL FOR AIR?β€œ β€œIDK DUDE JUST DRAW A BIRDβ€œΒ - β€œWHAT ABOUT WATER?β€œ β€œDUDE JUST PICK A WATER ZODIACβ€œΒ - β€œWHICH WATER ZODIAC?β€œ β€œIT DOESN’T MATTERβ€œΒ - β€œPUT GOLD OVER THE R IN REX SO PEOPLE KNOW ITS IMPORTANTβ€œΒ - OCCULT GRAPHIC DESIGN IS MY PASSION

Literally every aspect of it is just awful. My Hebrew isnt as good as it should be but I’m 99% certain that Hebrew is complete gibberish. 
ALSO the water symbol looks like aquarius which I’m sure pretty much everyone is aware is an air sign. What a fucking mess. 
I remember when we studied these losers in my art and occulture class I had to leave the room because I was laughing too hard at how much they suck. 

IT IS GIBBERISH BC ITS JUST THE ENTIRE ALPHABETWHICH IS LIKE AN INSECURE CHEF GETTING NERVOUS AND JUST PUTTING EVERY SEASONING THEY HAVE INTO THE POT 



I dont do occult stuff but i assume this is a mess to look at knowing the meaning but. Not knowing? The colors are awful, the symbols are placed carefully but look hard to decipher. The letters are hard to read and all around this could probably be replaced with something much easier to comphrehend and use.

EXACTLY
THIS IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN β€œGOOD” AND β€œBAD” SIGILWORK
TO SOMEONE WITH NO KNOWLEDGE OF THE OCCULT THE ROSY CROSS /FEELS/ LIKE IT HAS POWER BUT IT ALSO FEELS JUMBLED MESSY OVERLY COMPLICATED AND JUST PLAIN UGLY 
WHEN IT COMES TO SIGILWORK INTRICACY = POWER BUT CLARITY = ACCURACY AND THE ROSY CROSS FAILS ON BOTH FRONTS 



You wanna know what the kicker is. Aquarius *is* the symbol for air here. The upper left point of a pentagram is attributed to air. The elemental points are assigned to the fixed signs of the zodiac. That’s why we see Taurus, Leo, and Aquarius. The water point is attributed to Scorpio, but they drew an EAGLE INSTEAD OF THE SYMBOL FOR SCORPIO BECAUSE FUCK IT NOTHING MATTERS



SEE THEY ALREADY USED SCORPIO ON BEING ANTISEMITIC ON THE INRI DIAGRAM 



This looks like a fucking board game.



OH MY GOD YOURE RIGHT
IT LOOKS LIKE A PART TO SOME REDICULOUSLY COMPLEX BOARD GAME YOUR FRIEND SWORE IS THE FUNNEST THING EVER 
THE ROSY CROSS TAKES 90 MINUTES TO SET UP AND HAS FOUR DIFFERENT DECKS OF CARDS SPECIAL DICE AND TWO DIFFERENT PLASTIC HOURGLASSES 

@normal-horoscopes This reminds me of the Hermetic Chess invented by the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn. Right down to being too colorful and overly complicated


HANG ON I NEED TO GOOGLE SOME THINGS 


MERCIFUL NIGHT 
        

            
            

                
                
                    normal-horoscopes:

normal-horoscopes:

occultbreakfast:

normal-horoscopes:

viral-witchcraft:


normal-horoscopes:


pieandhotdogs:


normal-horoscopes:


trashcollectshere:

normal-horoscopes:


alchemicwizard:

normal-horoscopes:

normal-horoscopes:
NOT TO DUNK ON THE ROSICRUCIANS BUT THE ROSY CROSS IS THE UGLIEST THING EVER
Β - HEBREW CHARACTERS FOR A CHRISTIAN ESOTERIC SYMBOLΒ - FOUR USES OF THE ALKALAI SYMBOL BUT NO USES OF NITREΒ - NICE HEXAGRAM STAR TRUST US WE ARENT ANTISEMITICΒ - β€œWHAT IF WE INCORPORATED COLOR INTO THE WORKING?β€œΒ - INRIΒ - β€œIS THERE A SYMBOL FOR AIR?β€œ β€œIDK DUDE JUST DRAW A BIRDβ€œΒ - β€œWHAT ABOUT WATER?β€œ β€œDUDE JUST PICK A WATER ZODIACβ€œΒ - β€œWHICH WATER ZODIAC?β€œ β€œIT DOESN’T MATTERβ€œΒ - β€œPUT GOLD OVER THE R IN REX SO PEOPLE KNOW ITS IMPORTANTβ€œΒ - OCCULT GRAPHIC DESIGN IS MY PASSION

Literally every aspect of it is just awful. My Hebrew isnt as good as it should be but I’m 99% certain that Hebrew is complete gibberish. 
ALSO the water symbol looks like aquarius which I’m sure pretty much everyone is aware is an air sign. What a fucking mess. 
I remember when we studied these losers in my art and occulture class I had to leave the room because I was laughing too hard at how much they suck. 

IT IS GIBBERISH BC ITS JUST THE ENTIRE ALPHABETWHICH IS LIKE AN INSECURE CHEF GETTING NERVOUS AND JUST PUTTING EVERY SEASONING THEY HAVE INTO THE POT 



I dont do occult stuff but i assume this is a mess to look at knowing the meaning but. Not knowing? The colors are awful, the symbols are placed carefully but look hard to decipher. The letters are hard to read and all around this could probably be replaced with something much easier to comphrehend and use.

EXACTLY
THIS IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN β€œGOOD” AND β€œBAD” SIGILWORK
TO SOMEONE WITH NO KNOWLEDGE OF THE OCCULT THE ROSY CROSS /FEELS/ LIKE IT HAS POWER BUT IT ALSO FEELS JUMBLED MESSY OVERLY COMPLICATED AND JUST PLAIN UGLY 
WHEN IT COMES TO SIGILWORK INTRICACY = POWER BUT CLARITY = ACCURACY AND THE ROSY CROSS FAILS ON BOTH FRONTS 



You wanna know what the kicker is. Aquarius *is* the symbol for air here. The upper left point of a pentagram is attributed to air. The elemental points are assigned to the fixed signs of the zodiac. That’s why we see Taurus, Leo, and Aquarius. The water point is attributed to Scorpio, but they drew an EAGLE INSTEAD OF THE SYMBOL FOR SCORPIO BECAUSE FUCK IT NOTHING MATTERS



SEE THEY ALREADY USED SCORPIO ON BEING ANTISEMITIC ON THE INRI DIAGRAM 



This looks like a fucking board game.



OH MY GOD YOURE RIGHT
IT LOOKS LIKE A PART TO SOME REDICULOUSLY COMPLEX BOARD GAME YOUR FRIEND SWORE IS THE FUNNEST THING EVER 
THE ROSY CROSS TAKES 90 MINUTES TO SET UP AND HAS FOUR DIFFERENT DECKS OF CARDS SPECIAL DICE AND TWO DIFFERENT PLASTIC HOURGLASSES 

@normal-horoscopes This reminds me of the Hermetic Chess invented by the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn. Right down to being too colorful and overly complicated


HANG ON I NEED TO GOOGLE SOME THINGS 


MERCIFUL NIGHT : normal-horoscopes:

normal-horoscopes:

occultbreakfast:

normal-horoscopes:

viral-witchcraft:


normal-horoscopes:


pieandhotdogs:


normal-horoscopes:


trashcollectshere:

normal-horoscopes:


alchemicwizard:

normal-horoscopes:

normal-horoscopes:
NOT TO DUNK ON THE ROSICRUCIANS BUT THE ROSY CROSS IS THE UGLIEST THING EVER
Β - HEBREW CHARACTERS FOR A CHRISTIAN ESOTERIC SYMBOLΒ - FOUR USES OF THE ALKALAI SYMBOL BUT NO USES OF NITREΒ - NICE HEXAGRAM STAR TRUST US WE ARENT ANTISEMITICΒ - β€œWHAT IF WE INCORPORATED COLOR INTO THE WORKING?β€œΒ - INRIΒ - β€œIS THERE A SYMBOL FOR AIR?β€œ β€œIDK DUDE JUST DRAW A BIRDβ€œΒ - β€œWHAT ABOUT WATER?β€œ β€œDUDE JUST PICK A WATER ZODIACβ€œΒ - β€œWHICH WATER ZODIAC?β€œ β€œIT DOESN’T MATTERβ€œΒ - β€œPUT GOLD OVER THE R IN REX SO PEOPLE KNOW ITS IMPORTANTβ€œΒ - OCCULT GRAPHIC DESIGN IS MY PASSION

Literally every aspect of it is just awful. My Hebrew isnt as good as it should be but I’m 99% certain that Hebrew is complete gibberish. 
ALSO the water symbol looks like aquarius which I’m sure pretty much everyone is aware is an air sign. What a fucking mess. 
I remember when we studied these losers in my art and occulture class I had to leave the room because I was laughing too hard at how much they suck. 

IT IS GIBBERISH BC ITS JUST THE ENTIRE ALPHABETWHICH IS LIKE AN INSECURE CHEF GETTING NERVOUS AND JUST PUTTING EVERY SEASONING THEY HAVE INTO THE POT 



I dont do occult stuff but i assume this is a mess to look at knowing the meaning but. Not knowing? The colors are awful, the symbols are placed carefully but look hard to decipher. The letters are hard to read and all around this could probably be replaced with something much easier to comphrehend and use.

EXACTLY
THIS IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN β€œGOOD” AND β€œBAD” SIGILWORK
TO SOMEONE WITH NO KNOWLEDGE OF THE OCCULT THE ROSY CROSS /FEELS/ LIKE IT HAS POWER BUT IT ALSO FEELS JUMBLED MESSY OVERLY COMPLICATED AND JUST PLAIN UGLY 
WHEN IT COMES TO SIGILWORK INTRICACY = POWER BUT CLARITY = ACCURACY AND THE ROSY CROSS FAILS ON BOTH FRONTS 



You wanna know what the kicker is. Aquarius *is* the symbol for air here. The upper left point of a pentagram is attributed to air. The elemental points are assigned to the fixed signs of the zodiac. That’s why we see Taurus, Leo, and Aquarius. The water point is attributed to Scorpio, but they drew an EAGLE INSTEAD OF THE SYMBOL FOR SCORPIO BECAUSE FUCK IT NOTHING MATTERS



SEE THEY ALREADY USED SCORPIO ON BEING ANTISEMITIC ON THE INRI DIAGRAM 



This looks like a fucking board game.



OH MY GOD YOURE RIGHT
IT LOOKS LIKE A PART TO SOME REDICULOUSLY COMPLEX BOARD GAME YOUR FRIEND SWORE IS THE FUNNEST THING EVER 
THE ROSY CROSS TAKES 90 MINUTES TO SET UP AND HAS FOUR DIFFERENT DECKS OF CARDS SPECIAL DICE AND TWO DIFFERENT PLASTIC HOURGLASSES 

@normal-horoscopes This reminds me of the Hermetic Chess invented by the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn. Right down to being too colorful and overly complicated


HANG ON I NEED TO GOOGLE SOME THINGS 


MERCIFUL NIGHT 
                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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                                    Meme Artwork from the Bygone 'Something Awful' Forum Era Sold on eBay for $5100
                                
                            

                            
                        

                    
                
            
                
                    
                        

                            

                                
                                
                                
                            

                            
                            

                                
                                    Guy Fieri posted a meme of himself as Baby Yoda, something we all needed
                                
                            

                            
                        

                    
                
            
                
                    
                        

                            

                                
                            

                            
                            

                                
                                    The 'something you can say during sex' meme has exhausted its premise. Here are the best entries.