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Crazy, Fucking, and Funny: Donatello/Michelangelo kittyknowsthings: friendlylycanthrope: ao3tagoftheday: ethermaster: ao3tagoftheday: [Image Description: Tag reading “donatello/michelangelo”] The AO3 Tag of the Day is: Renaissance fanart I’m gonna let you in on a secret. That aint renaissance fanart You know what, assholes? I run this blog for y'all every day. I see things you cannot begin to imagine. I have to read people’s Robespierre smut and their questions about how various monsters would fuck them. I am so jaded that, when someone submits a tag mentioning some random vaguely liquid substance without context, I just assume it’s being used as lube. Nutella? Lube. Crazy glue? Lube. Divine fucking ichor? Fucking lube! I do this for you, y'all. I shield you from this shit. I stand athwart the tides of horror, hold my hands up, and yell “STOP” in the hopes that it will keep the waters from reaching you. So you know what, fuckheads!? If I want to maintain the one tiny scrap of innocence I have left, I will. The official policy of AO3TagoftheDay is now that turtles, teenage, mutant, ninja, or otherwise, do not fuck. It never happens. They don’t fuck. They don’t fuck each other. They don’t fuck humans. They don’t fuck in real life and they don’t fuck in fiction. This tag is about two gay Renaissance painters holding each other close and kissing chastely under the Sistine chapel ceiling. There. Glad we got that sorted out. Please return to your regularly scheduled programming. Ao3tagoftheday finally snapped I don’t know why this is so funny but I’m laughing to the point of tears
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Being Alone, Ass, and Family: Trevor Moore Follow @itrevormoore Remember. Kevin McCallister could have phoned the police at any time. He was a child who had accidentally been left alone. One call and he would have been safe. But it was never about safety. He was hunting those men. He wanted them to die. It was fun for him. He enjoyed it. 6:48 PM-25 Dec 2018 28,136 Retweets 140,632 Likes· @O.. dynastylnoire: that-catholic-shinobi: celticpyro: greater-than-the-sword: klubbhead: refurbishedchild: klubbhead: mysharona1987: Like, I know he is only eight. But the movie makes a big deal of saying he an incredibly smart eight year old. MENSA- levels of IQ.  Some of those traps were ingenious.  One 911 phone call saying ‘Help me.’ All it would have taken for this whole mess to get sorted.  The police come in, take good care of Kevin till the family arrives.  Arrest Harry and Marv.   But, no. Kevin chose the dark path of cruel sadism.  Kevin was a Sith How can anyone both see the Home Alone series, and think gun control will reduce violence? GIVE👏MINORS👏ACCESS👏TO👏GUNS👏 Let me just come back in defense of Kevin. If Kevin was so smart, he must have known that calling the police would cause his family to get in trouble for leaving him alone at the house. Given Kevin’s other actions in the movie, such as pretending that he was shopping for his mom who was in the car, it seems pretty evident that he took pains to keep adults, even responsible ones, from knowing that he was alone in the house. This shows a distrust of the establishment, and it’s possible that Kevin was even aware (as I was at the age of 8) of the general concept of a CPS investigation. By refusing to call the police, Kevin was acting selflessly to keep his family from being split further. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk. A couple of bandits come to rob some poor eight-year-old’s home and you call him a sadist for taking direct action. If some mofos came and invaded the safety of MY domicile you bet your sweet ass I’d concoct the most brutal means of retaliation imaginable to ensure those bastards never set foot in another home ever again. Broke: Kevin was a sadist Woke: Kevin didn’t trust the establishment and didn’t want CPS to investigate his parents Bespoke: Kevin had a God given right to defend his property Here for all Kevin McAllister theories
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Ass, Birthday, and Christmas: A What's the rudest thing a guest has 5173 ever done in your home? (self.AskReddit) posted to AskReddit 4 hours ago by nl1004 2303 comments sorted by top DONE HIDE A PREV NEXT V A Jombafomb 19496 points 3 hours ago x2 Everyone has a story from their childhood that still pisses them off, this is mine. I was five years old and my snotty older cousin was over at our house. I had just gotten a copy of Mike Tyson's Punch out for my birthday. He was getting his ass kicked by king hippo and he got so angry he rage quit. But he didn't just rage quit, he ripped the cartridge out of the Nintendo and spit into it. Then he threw it across the room and stormed out. I told my parents what happened and they told his parents and they made him apologize, but the game was ruined. It would kind of play, but would freeze up all the time. My family barely had enough money to get me the game for my birthday never mind buying it again. I was sure I would never be able to play it again Then for Christmas this little shit got Mike Tyson's Punch Out. So my older brother went over to his house and switched our ruined cartridge with his. It was awesome. A Jombafomb 13320 points 7 hours ago x2 I could write a book with tales of his awesomeness. When I was 12 he snuck me out of the house in the middle of the night to see The Foo Fighters (before they were the biggest band on earth) At the end of their set William Goldsmith (their drummer at the time) threw his sticks into the crowd and my brother dove headfirst and emerged victoriously with the sticks over his head a minute later. He gave them to me as a memento of my first real rock show. I put one in his coffin and the other I still have to this day. We still fought all the time like brothers do, but no one could mess with me so long as he was around awesomacious: Redditor shares a few heartwarming stories about his elder brother.
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Ass, Birthday, and Christmas: A What's the rudest thing a guest has 5173 ever done in your home? (self.AskReddit) posted to AskReddit 4 hours ago by nl1004 2303 comments sorted by top DONE HIDE A PREV NEXT V A Jombafomb 19496 points 3 hours ago x2 Everyone has a story from their childhood that still pisses them off, this is mine. I was five years old and my snotty older cousin was over at our house. I had just gotten a copy of Mike Tyson's Punch out for my birthday. He was getting his ass kicked by king hippo and he got so angry he rage quit. But he didn't just rage quit, he ripped the cartridge out of the Nintendo and spit into it. Then he threw it across the room and stormed out. I told my parents what happened and they told his parents and they made him apologize, but the game was ruined. It would kind of play, but would freeze up all the time. My family barely had enough money to get me the game for my birthday never mind buying it again. I was sure I would never be able to play it again Then for Christmas this little shit got Mike Tyson's Punch Out. So my older brother went over to his house and switched our ruined cartridge with his. It was awesome. A Jombafomb 13320 points 7 hours ago x2 I could write a book with tales of his awesomeness. When I was 12 he snuck me out of the house in the middle of the night to see The Foo Fighters (before they were the biggest band on earth) At the end of their set William Goldsmith (their drummer at the time) threw his sticks into the crowd and my brother dove headfirst and emerged victoriously with the sticks over his head a minute later. He gave them to me as a memento of my first real rock show. I put one in his coffin and the other I still have to this day. We still fought all the time like brothers do, but no one could mess with me so long as he was around Redditor shares a few heartwarming stories about his elder brother.
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Ass, Birthday, and Christmas: A What's the rudest thing a guest has 5173 ever done in your home? (self.AskReddit) posted to AskReddit 4 hours ago by nl1004 2303 comments sorted by top DONE HIDE A PREV NEXT V A Jombafomb 19496 points 3 hours ago x2 Everyone has a story from their childhood that still pisses them off, this is mine. I was five years old and my snotty older cousin was over at our house. I had just gotten a copy of Mike Tyson's Punch out for my birthday. He was getting his ass kicked by king hippo and he got so angry he rage quit. But he didn't just rage quit, he ripped the cartridge out of the Nintendo and spit into it. Then he threw it across the room and stormed out. I told my parents what happened and they told his parents and they made him apologize, but the game was ruined. It would kind of play, but would freeze up all the time. My family barely had enough money to get me the game for my birthday never mind buying it again. I was sure I would never be able to play it again Then for Christmas this little shit got Mike Tyson's Punch Out. So my older brother went over to his house and switched our ruined cartridge with his. It was awesome. A Jombafomb 13320 points 7 hours ago x2 I could write a book with tales of his awesomeness. When I was 12 he snuck me out of the house in the middle of the night to see The Foo Fighters (before they were the biggest band on earth) At the end of their set William Goldsmith (their drummer at the time) threw his sticks into the crowd and my brother dove headfirst and emerged victoriously with the sticks over his head a minute later. He gave them to me as a memento of my first real rock show. I put one in his coffin and the other I still have to this day. We still fought all the time like brothers do, but no one could mess with me so long as he was around Redditor shares a few heartwarming stories about his elder brother. via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2QSr17M
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Ass, Birthday, and Christmas: A What's the rudest thing a guest has 5173 ever done in your home? (self.AskReddit) posted to AskReddit 4 hours ago by nl1004 2303 comments sorted by top DONE HIDE A PREV NEXT V A Jombafomb 19496 points 3 hours ago x2 Everyone has a story from their childhood that still pisses them off, this is mine. I was five years old and my snotty older cousin was over at our house. I had just gotten a copy of Mike Tyson's Punch out for my birthday. He was getting his ass kicked by king hippo and he got so angry he rage quit. But he didn't just rage quit, he ripped the cartridge out of the Nintendo and spit into it. Then he threw it across the room and stormed out. I told my parents what happened and they told his parents and they made him apologize, but the game was ruined. It would kind of play, but would freeze up all the time. My family barely had enough money to get me the game for my birthday never mind buying it again. I was sure I would never be able to play it again Then for Christmas this little shit got Mike Tyson's Punch Out. So my older brother went over to his house and switched our ruined cartridge with his. It was awesome. A Jombafomb 13320 points 7 hours ago x2 I could write a book with tales of his awesomeness. When I was 12 he snuck me out of the house in the middle of the night to see The Foo Fighters (before they were the biggest band on earth) At the end of their set William Goldsmith (their drummer at the time) threw his sticks into the crowd and my brother dove headfirst and emerged victoriously with the sticks over his head a minute later. He gave them to me as a memento of my first real rock show. I put one in his coffin and the other I still have to this day. We still fought all the time like brothers do, but no one could mess with me so long as he was around Redditor shares a few heartwarming stories about his elder brother.
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