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God, Head, and Oh My God: Instructions: YOU MATCHED WITH ON 11/05/2019 ose any topic and I'll give you a pick up line related to it 1) You add potatoes to medium pot & fill with water until all potatoes are covered and static Yesterday 15:11 2) Only season with salt as extra nando's creamy mash x 3) Use the hob to bring to the boil & reduce to a simmer until potatoes are tender. After roughly 15 minutes remove heat from pan Yesterday 18:17 Ingredients: 500g Gold Potatoes (peeled and chopped into large chunks) 1/2 stick unsalted butter,+2 tablespoons, divided 1/2 head of garlic (cloves smashed) 1/3 cup warm heavy cream 14 cup sour cream 14 tsp. salt 4) After, melt butter on a low heat or semi 5) Remove as milk solids rise to the top. Be careful as these may 6) Easily add garlic & cook on low for 15 minutes then remove the garlic area Instructions: 7) Visibly check potatoes and drain thoroughly so they are not too thiclk 1) You add potatoes to medium pot & fill with water until all potatoes are covered and static 8) Essentially, while potatoes are hot, pass through a potato ricer and add back to pot above 2) Only season with salt as extra for you 8) Essentially, while potatoes are hot, pass through a potato ricer and add back to pot above 12) Upon transferring to a serving dish, melt remaining butter too 9) Rinse in melted butter, salt, heavy cream & sour cream carefully 13) Time to pour over potatoes then garnish with paprika, just like on the menu 10) Yielding a hand held mixer beat the potatoes on high until potatoes are smooth and fluffy also 14) Eat and enjoy, makes a great treat Read the first letter of each of the 14 instructions from the Nando's creamy mash recipe 11) Carefully season with salt and pepper, with the perfect amount Yesterday 23:45 12) Upon transferring to a serving dish, melt remaining butter too oh my god that's amazing 13) Time to pour over potatoes then garnish with paprika, just like on the menu Today 05:49 Now read the last letter of each of the 14 instructions 14) Eat and enjoy, makes a great treat Read the first letter of each of the 14 instructions from the Nando's creamy mash recipe Today 08:59 after that, yeah you can The effort I put into this seemed to pay off

The effort I put into this seemed to pay off

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Amazon, Bad, and Bad Boys: ALEX DE CAMP RO STEIN TED B RANDT DE E CUNNIF FE THANKS FOR COMING ALONG, FRANK. IT MEANS S'FINE, BARNES. IM NOT EXACTW OVERBURDEN印 WITH HOLIDA COMMITMENTS ン) AND I'M TRIUWN, DEEPLY SOR2N FOR EVERY THING THAT'S ABOUT TO HAPPEN HAPPY^ HANUKKAH! HENRY! HERE, AND A FRIEND! GET IN S IT A FRIEND FRIEND, OR JUST A FRIEND? FREEINGUES BROUGHT OUT! HOW'S STEVE? WHAT THE...? HES BUS DOING CHARITY aALAS THIS TIME OF YEAR. DIDNT REALY ASK, WHN DON'T YOu BECAUSE GO TO FANCN GALAS? |Y WHEN I SHOW UP Nou'D Look aREAT /T ONE, PEOPLE JOSH. You ARE.? IN A TuX FUSED. ASSUME SOMEONE'S GONNA DIE THAT'S NONSENSE! IT'S BEEN AGES SINCE NOuVE KIuE ANNONE. THOUGHT HE WAS RISH CATHOUC ITS BEEN FOUR VAYS MY DAD WAS CATHOuc. MY MA WAS JENISH. SISTER BECCA MARRIEN A JEWISH GUN. I'M JEWISH- ADJACENT YOu'RE A JEW! THEN HAD LEAH. SHES THE Ow LADN IN THE KITCHEN D WHO'S GONNA FEED You LATKEs uNTIレ NOU EXPLODE. HENIRN! STOP IT! SPEAKING OF LEAH, SuE HAS AU SORTS OF FAMI STORIES ABOuT BuCKN AS A KID I SPEAK HEBREN BECAUSE EVIL SCIENCE NAZIS IMPLANTEN IT IN MN BZAIN, ALONG WITH 18 OTHER ANGUAGES. HIM DECIDE urs FOR HIMSELF. THERE TO DECIDE? HIS MOM WAS JEWISH, HE SPEAKS HEBREW HE'S A JEW. NO FAIR! ARE THERE PHOTOS? HAVE To Go To STUPIDEBREW SCHCOレ. CAN I GET EVIL SCIENCE NAZIS TO No FINE Look, Kiv. WE DONT GET MANN WERE KEEPING SUPERHEROS.A NOu, AND TO HEL CMON THERE ARE WHOLE ALBUMS. WITH THE FINE PRINT I'M NOT A HERO BulL SURVIVED. EVERYTHING NOu SURVIvEv, AND NOURE STIU A GOOD PERSON LIGHT aO OUT, EVEN WHEN AL WAS DARKENEN WHEN AND TERRIBLE AROUND NOu. YOu HAD NOTHING LEFT TO KEEP IT aOING THIS IS NO SMA ACHIEVEMENT. ift HENRN.. GO GET A SHAMMASH IT'S TIME. HKMC is a work of satire by Alex de Campi (@alexdecampi), Ro Stein (@RosyTintedSpecs), Ted Brandt (@ten_bandits) and Dee Cunniffe (@Deezoid). All characters (c) Marvel Comics. I wasn't going to write any more of these, but then the Pitsburgh Syna gogue shooting happened and I got real, real mad. Friends: the hate you walk past is the hate you accept. Fight Anti-Semitism wherever you see it, whenever, no matter how small. Great evil starts out as little "jokes" people ignore. Don't be an ignorer. (Thanks also to Menachem and Brina for checking everything over, and sour cream is the one true latke topping don't @ me.) jhscdood: alexdecampi: Happy Hanukkah, everyone, from these two jerks! I’m posting this a little early this year. Line art by the amazing Ro Stein Ted Brandt, and colour art by @deecunniffe.  I want to point out what a technical achievement this story is on the art side. There’s a real joy to creating a whole story in eight panels, but this? This is some magic. We introduce four new characters. In panel 5, SIX PEOPLE are talking. SIX. In the world of comics, that’s almost un-doable.  Yet Ro and Ted arranged everything so the conversations flow and are sensibly grouped, all the “acting” is fantastic, and then Dee laid on top these beautiful, almost fairytale colours – look at the subtle work, the blush in Henry’s cheeks, Frank’s five o-clock shadow, the shine of the wine bottle’s glass surface, the light texturing in the backgrounds… and of course the snow! This is some first-class illustration work on an incredibly hard script. (I fear Ro and Ted always get me at my worst – my very formalist script for them in the 24 Panels anthology was no cakewalk either. (The problem is, they’re just so damn good at it… check out their work on the Image comic Crowded!) As always, if you like what we do in Hells Kitchen Movie Club, consider donating a little to a veteran’s charity.  (I also have a thriller novel I’m crowdfunding, please check it out, we are more than halfway there. The book is all written…) Previously in Hell: cover image // 01 // 02 // 03 // Xmas // 04 // 05 // 06 // 07 // Hanukkah // That time the Punisher’s creator gave us a thumbs-up // twitter // insta I AM CRYING THIS IS GORGEOUS
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Cheetos, Hot Cheetos, and Cream: Fries topped with Nacho Cheese, Parmesan Cheese, Sour Cream, and Hot Cheetos

Fries topped with Nacho Cheese, Parmesan Cheese, Sour Cream, and Hot Cheetos

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Empire, Fall, and Food: Dear Guy Who Just Made My ntruding Have you ever been to earth? On earth, we use the word "burrito" to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I'm surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain: Let me further explain: Burritos are eaten from one end to the other So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredient:s going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito's end user. Whern you make a burrito, you should put the ingredi- ents in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern. Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY When you eat a burrito, you don't stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can't usually dislocate their jaws, and I'm not a fucking pelican. But you must think that's how it's done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like And guess what else, player? You probably can't guess anything, because I'm pretty sure you're just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here's what: Humans also don't eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that, Because at least THEN would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I'LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR Nope My experience was more like HEY BEANS ITS JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND IFOR A MINUTE UNTILI CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I'M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT'S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET You built this thing like a fucking pack of And don't even fucking think I'm about to open this shit up and re engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. IALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THATS HOWI DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOK ING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT'S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE What's that? should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DONT WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON'T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR You're the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys. UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK IDIDN'T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEWW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER That's like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER'S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOUA WRENCH, SO BE COOL Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They're caⅡed fucking A fork. My god.I haven't cried sinceI was six, now People eat burritos with forks? God is sorry he made us. The absolute worst way to make a burrito
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Empire, Fall, and Food: BEANS MOLE J MEAT CHBESE RKE CILAVIZO SALsA Dear Guy Who Just Made My Burrito: Lucky Shirt in Comedy Corner abookandacoffee: its-rowark: misanthrobot: rowan-oak-o-flow: delgt: xopachi: skwinky: lntruding: Have you ever been to earth? On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain: You’re an idiot. Let me further explain: Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern. Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY. When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito. And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what: Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND. Nope. My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET. You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers. And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE. What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN. I just want a burrito. In conclusion: You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys. UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”: A fucking fork? I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD. If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER. That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL. Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS. A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now. People eat burritos with forks? God is sorry he made us. (Source) I always need this on my blog. I can’t be laughing this hard in the morning.  Yes @kirkfuffle MY FAVORITE FUCKING POST IS BACK. Finally! I wanted to show this to my brother and I’ve been waiting over a year for it to come back! A fucking pack of lifesavers
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Empire, Fall, and Food: BEANS MOLE J MEAT CHBESE RKE CILAVIZO SALsA Dear Guy Who Just Made My Burrito: Lucky Shirt in Comedy Corner mybigfatgaylife: its-rowark: misanthrobot: rowan-oak-o-flow: delgt: xopachi: skwinky: lntruding: Have you ever been to earth? On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain: You’re an idiot. Let me further explain: Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern. Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY. When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito. And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what: Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND. Nope. My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET. You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers. And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE. What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN. I just want a burrito. In conclusion: You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys. UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”: A fucking fork? I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD. If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER. That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL. Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS. A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now. People eat burritos with forks? God is sorry he made us. (Source) I always need this on my blog. I can’t be laughing this hard in the morning.  Yes @kirkfuffle MY FAVORITE FUCKING POST IS BACK. Finally! I wanted to show this to my brother and I’ve been waiting over a year for it to come back! I want this post and one of the “be nice to underpaid workers” posts to fight it out in the Tumblr Performative Progressivism Thunderdome.
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Facebook, Fucking, and Love: <p><a href="http://coming-like-a-ghost-town.tumblr.com/post/159671386555" class="tumblr_blog">coming-like-a-ghost-town</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://libertarirynn.tumblr.com/post/159667938404/this-is-what-i-made-for-pascha-last-night-my-own" class="tumblr_blog">libertarirynn</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>This is what I made for Pascha last night. My own little concoction inspired by a Facebook recipe video. Penne pasta with buffalo chicken dip, plus bacon and chives.</p></blockquote> <p>Have you got a link for this recipe because this looks fucking delicious.</p> </blockquote> <p>Well this is the link to the FB recipe I used as a framework: <a href="http://insidebrucrewlife.com/2016/10/buffalo-chicken-pasta-bake/.">http://insidebrucrewlife.com/2016/10/buffalo-chicken-pasta-bake/.</a> But I pretty much made it myself. I’ll do my best to estimate what I did (these measurements are approximations because I tend to eyeball when I cook):</p><p>1 block of cream cheese (8oz)<br/>½ cup hot sauce (I love Frank’s Red Hot, personally)<br/>¼ cup ranch dressing<br/>½ cup of sour cream<br/>½ cup of mayonnaise <br/>Handful of chives/green onions depending on your tastes (you’ll also use some for topping)<br/>Pinch of salt<br/>¼ cup blue cheese crumbles <br/>1 cup shredded cheese of your choice, plus some for topping (I used cheddar and a Colby and Monterey Jack blend. I’ve heard mozzarella is good too)<br/>2-3 seasoned and cooked chicken breasts, chopped or shredded <br/>10 strips bacon broken into bits (save some for topping)<br/>1 box rigatoni pasta, cooked</p><p>Preheat oven to 375°</p><p>1. Mix the cream cheese, hot sauce, and ranch in a bowl.<br/>2. Make your own blue cheese dressing by combining the mayo, sour cream, pinch of salt, and chives. Add to bowl and mix.<br/>3. Mix in shredded cheese.<br/>4. Add chicken, bacon, and pasta to bowl and mix.<br/>5. Pour contents of bowl into an oiled baking dish (I oiled mine with the fat from the bacon), and top with cheese, chives, and bacon crumbles.</p><p>Bake for about 20 minutes until cheese is melted and browning, and there you have it!</p>
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