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Advice, Alive, and Ass: English Pronunciation If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90 % of the native English speakers in the world. After trying the verses, a Frenchman said he'd prefer six months of hard labour to reading six lines aloud. Dearest creature in creation, Study English pronunciation. I will teach you in my verse Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse. I will keep you, Suzy, busy, Make your head with heat grow dizzy. Tear in eye, your dress will tear. So shall I! Oh hear my prayer. Just compare heart, beard, and heard, Dies and diet, lord and word, Sword and sward, retain and Britain. (Mind the latter, how it's written.) Now I surely will not plague you With such words as plaque and ague. But be careful how you speak: Say break and steak, but bleak and streak Cloven, oven, how and low, Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe. Hear me say, devoid of trickery, Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore, Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles, Exiles, similes, and reviles; Scholar, vicar, and cigar, Solar, mica, war and far; One, anemone, Balmoral, Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel; Gertrude, German, wind and mind, Scene, Melpomene, mankind. Billet does not rhyme with ballet, Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet. Blood and flood are not like food, Nor is mould like should and would. Viscous, viscount, load and broad, Toward, to forward, to reward. And your pronunciation's OK When you correctly say croquet, Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve, Friend and fiend, alive and live. Ivy, privy, famous; clamour And enamour rhyme with hammer. River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb, Doll and roll and some and home. Stranger does not rhyme with anger, Neither does devour with clangour. Souls but foul, haunt but aunt Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant, Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger, And then singer, ginger, linger, Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge, Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age. Query does not rhyme with very, Nor does fury sound like bury. Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth. Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath. Though the differences seem little, We say actual but victual. Refer does not rhyme with deafer. FeOffer does, and zephyr, heifer. Mint, pint, senate and sedate; Dull, bull, and George ate late. Scenic, Arabic, Pacific, Science, conscience, scientific Liberty, library, heave and heaven, Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven. We say hallowed, but allowed, People, leopard, towed, but vowed. Mark the differences, moreover, Between mover, cover, clover; Leeches,breeches, wise, precise Chalice, but police and lice; Camel, constable, unstable, Principle, disciple, label. Petal, panel, and canal, Wait, surp Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair, Senator, spectator, mayor. Tour, but our and succour, four. Gas, alas, and Arkansas. Sea, idea, Korea, area, Psalm, Maria, but malaria. Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean. Doctrine, turpentine, marine. Compare alien with Italian, Dandelion and battalion. plait, promise, pal. Sally with ally, yea, ye, Eye,I, ay, aye, whey, and key. Say aver, but ever, fever, Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver. Heron, granary, canary. Crevice and device and aerie. Face, but preface, not efface. Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bas. Large, but target, gin, give, verging, Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging. Ear, but earn and wear and tear Do not rhyme with here but ere. Seven is right, but so is even, Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen, Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk, Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work. Pronunciation (think of Psyche!) Is a paling stout and spikey? Won't it make you lose your wits, Writing groats and saying grits? It's a dark abyss or tunnel: Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale, Islington and Isle of Wight, Housewife, verdict and indict. Finally, which rhymes with enough, Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough? Hiccough has the sound of cup. My advice is to give up!!! you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com lolzandtrollz: Excellent English Pronunciation Poem
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Dad, Food, and Girls: Farhan Follow @Ahwhateverr Now that I know what type of watermelon to pick up from the local food store, i'm ready to become a dad. Kaveri Shenoy O+ April 4 at 4:39 AM- Tips GOOD THE BEST WATERY SWEET 4. 'Boy' and 'girl' watermelons: Many people do not know that farmers differentiate watermelons by gender. For example, 'boys' are bigger, have an elongated shape, and a watery taste. The 'girls' have 2. Look for the field spot: The yellow spot, known as the field spot, is the place where the watermelon rested on the ground. Ripe watermelons always have creamy yellow or even orange-yellow spots, 5. Inspect the tail: A dried tail indicates that the watermelon is ripe. However, if the tail is green, it probably means that the watermelon was picked too soon and will not be ripe Remember to kindly like and share this post to others. 3. Pay attention to the size: It is better to choose neither the largest nor the smallest watermelon. Select an average-sized fuit. And note, please: large or small, the watermelon should feel heavy for its size. Like Share Comment Follow @blurrbubble My dad just slaps it and knows Farhan @Ahwhateverr Now that I know what type of watermelon to pick up from mme'er the local food store, i'm ready to become a dad. Show this thread 2:21 PM-12 Apr 2019 F#x XY"eitiil Retweets il@).il,'il42 likes honeyngld: jooshcognito: gahdamnpunk: It’s cause all dads speak in watermelon Me, slapping a bothered watermelon in the Safeway produce section: Hnnng yea she riddy My mom just flicks it, it has to be a southern thing

honeyngld: jooshcognito: gahdamnpunk: It’s cause all dads speak in watermelon Me, slapping a bothered watermelon in the Safeway produce se...

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Apparently, Bitch, and Moms: ruby-white-rabbit There's a turtle in my yard laying eggs This bitch really gonna dump her kids on me and vamoose I'm not ready to be a single mom I know shit about reptiles I had to put a stick next to the nest because she decided the MIDDLE of our yard was the primo spot to give birth Mowing is gonna be interesting this summer Meet the mother leaving her wildlife progeny under my city girl care I'm googling turtles right now, I sent photos to my southern stepmom for help. Apparently she's a box turtle? 70 DAYS UNTIL THEY HATCH?? iplemons You a mom now Text from stepmom "watch out for foxes, cranes, raccoons, and snakes. They'll eat the eggs so chase them off ruby-white-rabbit mrswinterbarnes Name her Sharron, she sounds like she doesn't care about her kids @mrswinterbarnes you're not wrong. When I came back from closing the barn doors she was gone. Nowhere in sight. I thought turtles were supposed to be slow I was gone maybe ten minutes so first off, not even a goodbye?? I don't think Box turtles return to their nest either, so until they hatch and dig out YOU GONNA BE A MOMMA DAMN IT SHARRON First that bird makes its nursery in my bike basket on our porch and now this Why am I becoming a wildlife nanny?? UPDATE SHES BACK NEVERMIND ITS A DIFFERENT TURTLE That's two deadbeat turtle moms dropping their spawn on me ladystud Call this one Susan blad-the-inhaler You're like a really ticked-off nature witch who never signed up for this animal empath shit I'm trying to figure out when "oh, it's only midnight" to "omg it's already midnight" #lawnmowerpeople
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Bitch, Cars, and Children: The DIS @TheDIS Follow DIS The Walt Disney Company Donates $5 Million to the Notre-Dame Cathedral Rebuild wdwinfo.com/news-stories/t .. The Company tea jay Follow @teejiay @teejiay 11 % of Disneyland Resort cast members are homeless The DIS @TheDIS The The Walt Disney Company Donates $5 Million to the APISN Notre-Dame Cathedral Rebuild wdwinfo.com/news-stories/t Unmet Health Needs health care services. ge s adequate in Many Disneyland Re Even those who have erims of providing basi services Copy Select All The Walt Disney Company asks its employees to adhere to what it calls the "Four Keys" to good customer service. Among them are "smile" and "make eye contact." Many Disneyland Resort employees, however, need but cannot afford dental care, or glasses and contact lenses, making it harder to adhere to those guidelines For example, 43% of Disneyland Resort employees report that in the past year they needed, but could not afford, dental care, as shown in Exhibit 12. Among single parents, over half(56%) could not afford needed dental care Nearly a third (30%) report that in the past year they needed, but could not afford, glasses or contact lenses, as shown in Exhibit 1.3. Another quarter (24%) report that in the past year they needed, but could not afford, follow-up medical care. One fifth (21%) report that in the past year they needed, but could not afford, prescription medicines, while 16% report that in the past year they needed, but could Exhibit 12: Disneyland Workers Who Needed but Could Not Afford DENTAL CARE in the Past Year ALL WORKERS FULL-TIME/PART TIME STATUS Part-Time HDURLY WAGE $15+ YEARS WORKING AT DISNEYLAND Less than 1 year 1-3 years 4-6 years 7-10 years 11-15 years More than 15 years GENDER Female Male PARENTS WITH CHILDREN 0-17 YEARS Sing Precariously Housed Workers Disneyland Resort employees have a hard time paying the rent. They devotea large part of their household incomes just to put a roof over their heads. Even so, many Disneyland Resort employees live in o place to live, many rent homes a great distance from Disneyland Resort and have long commutes to get to work. Disneyland Resort employees' wages do not align with southern California's high housing costs As a result, some Disneyland Resort employees find themselves in precarious circumstances. They fear getting evicted because they cant afford the rent. They move vercrowded conditions. To afford a Some Disneyland Resort employees find themselves on the brink of homelessness and some actually find themselves with no permanent place to live, making do by sleeping in their cars, "couch surfing" between friends and family, or ending up on the street or in a homeless shelter Even full-time Disneyland Resort workers confront the spectrum of precarious, uncertain, unstable, and insecure housing conditions which creates chaos and hardship for themselves and, in some cases, their families. Among Disneyland Resort employees, only 20% own their own houses or condominiums and 63% rent their houses or apartrnents. Another 18% live with family members or friends but do not pay rent or otherwise help with housing Exhibit 40: Homeownership Rates for California, Selected Counties and Disneyland Workers Occupy without ppying rent Seming Artist @ sewingartist 9h Replying to @teejiay LadyDamfino I was offered a position in the costume department at $10.56 an hour down in FL. I high tailed it out of there. I now make above $15 an hour at a similar position in Indiana. Disney is crap. 244 7 Witch Bitch Jane Rayi @YandereJane 6h Replying to @teejiay @stormflowercos A cast member died in her car last year during winter; where she lived because the resort refused to pay a living wage despite her many years of service. endangered-justice-seeker: what a fucking hypocrisy
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