Creampies
Creampies

Creampies

Spanke Me
Spanke Me

Spanke Me

Spankly
Spankly

Spankly

Whooped
Whooped

Whooped

toy gun
 toy gun

toy gun

hose
 hose

hose

whoops
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respectful
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yours
yours

yours

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๐Ÿ”ฅ | Latest

Ass, Be Like, and Grandma: I volunteer at a shelter. Today a 7 year resident, Skip, was adopted. He's pretty happy about it Pic: Reddit u/boobsnbabies @DrSmashlove Iโ€™ve heard recent reports from three of my lil homegirls that a man they are dealing with romantically has texted her asking her to send a UBER to pick him up and bring her to his crib. Lemme do a lil historical recap. Our forefathers would remove they jacket and lay it upon a puddle so that they girl would not have to wet her feet bruv. He would give a woman his jacket when she was cold. Hold doors open. Leave little love notes hidden around her spot. Come meet her parents, and he cut his hair and shine his shoes and pick up flowers for her mama beforehand. U feel me? Chivalry. Chivalrous ass Prince Charmings, bruv. Fast forward to 2017: โ€œsend me an UBER if u want 2 c daddyโ€. Send a UBER to pick up daddy, bruv? U the daddy but u need financial assistance to transport to her crib? U might have been daddy at one time but even if the pipe game super on point if she sending UBERโ€™s u da baby and she da mommy now. Look up โ€œmanโ€ in Webster Thesaurus and the antonyms be like โ€œboy; lad; he who requesteth transport in an UBER vehicle from a woman with whomst he hath engaged in romantic relationsโ€ - this is Webster bruv the Man smart! He predicted this shit! ๐Ÿ˜‚ Anyway bruv I ainโ€™t even mad. Not even remotely mad. Instead: thankful. Yโ€™all making all the men who display even a modicum of chivalry look like cot damn Romeos out dis bish. We love yโ€™all. Yโ€™all special. Yโ€™all loyal. Yโ€™all gon find a woman who gon take care of u and be the mommy u need. Yโ€™all gotta be good to her tho! She might cut off yo allowance. Take away yo iPad so u canโ€™t watch Jake Paul YouTube videos no more. U in line with her at Panera like โ€œI WANT CHOCOLATE CHIP BAGEL!!โ€ And she like โ€œBAD BOYS DONโ€™T GET CHOCOLATE CHIP BAGELS TIMMY.โ€ And u just like โ€œI AT LEAST WANT A GOGURT! GOGURT MOMMY GOGURT!โ€ And she gotta take u back to the minivan and spank u. Yo great grandpa took yo great grandma to the sock hop and the drive in movies, treating her to burgers and shakes, now u being disciplined by yo woman like a disobedient child Bruv. My how things change. All because U asked for a UBER. Yโ€™all be safe out there! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
Ass, Be Like, and Grandma: I volunteer at a shelter. Today a 7 year
 resident, Skip, was adopted. He's pretty
 happy about it
 Pic: Reddit u/boobsnbabies
 @DrSmashlove
Iโ€™ve heard recent reports from three of my lil homegirls that a man they are dealing with romantically has texted her asking her to send a UBER to pick him up and bring her to his crib. Lemme do a lil historical recap. Our forefathers would remove they jacket and lay it upon a puddle so that they girl would not have to wet her feet bruv. He would give a woman his jacket when she was cold. Hold doors open. Leave little love notes hidden around her spot. Come meet her parents, and he cut his hair and shine his shoes and pick up flowers for her mama beforehand. U feel me? Chivalry. Chivalrous ass Prince Charmings, bruv. Fast forward to 2017: โ€œsend me an UBER if u want 2 c daddyโ€. Send a UBER to pick up daddy, bruv? U the daddy but u need financial assistance to transport to her crib? U might have been daddy at one time but even if the pipe game super on point if she sending UBERโ€™s u da baby and she da mommy now. Look up โ€œmanโ€ in Webster Thesaurus and the antonyms be like โ€œboy; lad; he who requesteth transport in an UBER vehicle from a woman with whomst he hath engaged in romantic relationsโ€ - this is Webster bruv the Man smart! He predicted this shit! ๐Ÿ˜‚ Anyway bruv I ainโ€™t even mad. Not even remotely mad. Instead: thankful. Yโ€™all making all the men who display even a modicum of chivalry look like cot damn Romeos out dis bish. We love yโ€™all. Yโ€™all special. Yโ€™all loyal. Yโ€™all gon find a woman who gon take care of u and be the mommy u need. Yโ€™all gotta be good to her tho! She might cut off yo allowance. Take away yo iPad so u canโ€™t watch Jake Paul YouTube videos no more. U in line with her at Panera like โ€œI WANT CHOCOLATE CHIP BAGEL!!โ€ And she like โ€œBAD BOYS DONโ€™T GET CHOCOLATE CHIP BAGELS TIMMY.โ€ And u just like โ€œI AT LEAST WANT A GOGURT! GOGURT MOMMY GOGURT!โ€ And she gotta take u back to the minivan and spank u. Yo great grandpa took yo great grandma to the sock hop and the drive in movies, treating her to burgers and shakes, now u being disciplined by yo woman like a disobedient child Bruv. My how things change. All because U asked for a UBER. Yโ€™all be safe out there! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Iโ€™ve heard recent reports from three of my lil homegirls that a man they are dealing with romantically has texted her asking her to send a U...

Amazon, Ass, and Bruh: Can I take them both home? @DrSmashlove So I went to the pool yesterday for the first time in a hot minute because I don't engage in leisure and instead live in a cave staring at screens without any disruptions other than clients calling or my secretary asking me if I'm ok ๐Ÿค—. Anyway at the pool I seen some shit so of course imma speak on it. First and foremost. What's up with these dudes with the baldy chests but from the belly button on down, they got a Amazon MFin rainforest? Is this the wave? Are y'all manscaping to this extent now? Like don't girls either like hairy ass dudes or baldy dudes? Is there a population of women out there that's like "I like a man's belly to be only half hairy it's so God damn sexy like I want four clean abs and two extremely snarly abs it makes me form a puddle under me ... I also love it when Jeff only shaves one ass cheek like I spank his left one and it's clean as a whistle and the left one looks like a gorilla's ass FUCK ๐Ÿ˜" <- this woman is a rare breed ... if she exist, point her out - women with strange fetishes like this tend to be the highest caliber freaks ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ˜‚. Anyway to make matters worse I seen a dude with a baldy chest and hair under the belly button region but it was a landing strip but like a thick one as if it naturally grew like that but he clearly made the edges crispy. BRUH. UNLESS YOUR NAME IS CHARLIE AND U A FANCY GAY MAN LIVING IN RANDOMLY GAY-FABULOUS CITY LIKE SAN ANTONIO AND U A CROSS FIT COACH BUT U ALSO MODEL ON THE SIDE AND HAVE 70,000 FOLLOWERS ON IG, A LANDING STRIP IS NOT. FUCKING. ALLOWED. I stop going to the pool for two summers and I see this shit. Y'all terrible ๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
Amazon, Ass, and Bruh: Can I take them both home?
 @DrSmashlove
So I went to the pool yesterday for the first time in a hot minute because I don't engage in leisure and instead live in a cave staring at screens without any disruptions other than clients calling or my secretary asking me if I'm ok ๐Ÿค—. Anyway at the pool I seen some shit so of course imma speak on it. First and foremost. What's up with these dudes with the baldy chests but from the belly button on down, they got a Amazon MFin rainforest? Is this the wave? Are y'all manscaping to this extent now? Like don't girls either like hairy ass dudes or baldy dudes? Is there a population of women out there that's like "I like a man's belly to be only half hairy it's so God damn sexy like I want four clean abs and two extremely snarly abs it makes me form a puddle under me ... I also love it when Jeff only shaves one ass cheek like I spank his left one and it's clean as a whistle and the left one looks like a gorilla's ass FUCK ๐Ÿ˜" <- this woman is a rare breed ... if she exist, point her out - women with strange fetishes like this tend to be the highest caliber freaks ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ˜‚. Anyway to make matters worse I seen a dude with a baldy chest and hair under the belly button region but it was a landing strip but like a thick one as if it naturally grew like that but he clearly made the edges crispy. BRUH. UNLESS YOUR NAME IS CHARLIE AND U A FANCY GAY MAN LIVING IN RANDOMLY GAY-FABULOUS CITY LIKE SAN ANTONIO AND U A CROSS FIT COACH BUT U ALSO MODEL ON THE SIDE AND HAVE 70,000 FOLLOWERS ON IG, A LANDING STRIP IS NOT. FUCKING. ALLOWED. I stop going to the pool for two summers and I see this shit. Y'all terrible ๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

So I went to the pool yesterday for the first time in a hot minute because I don't engage in leisure and instead live in a cave staring at s...

Af, Bless Up, and Cum: Taking a sick day to spend time with his penguin @Drsmashlove My lil homegirl text me saying "smash, I went to go see a guy I was talking to who moved, and it ended up being a little bit of a disappointment - I think we built it up too much while we were apart ๐Ÿ˜•." Ok lemme splain y'all. See what happen when u super charged up sexually with someone but y'all geographically apart is, u start getting into wild fantasy situations when discussing what y'all gonna do. It's never like "I'm gonna have passionate, loving missionary sexual relations with you because the distance hath made me crave you, lover ๐Ÿ˜." Nah. Hell nah. U gon be way, way overboard with it: "BABY GIRL...WHEN I FUCKING SEE YOU...IMMA...LISTEN...NO, SHUT UP, LISTEN...IMMA SUSPEND YOU UPSIDE DOWN SIDEWAYS FROM THE CEILING KARMA SUTRA STYLE...FINNA LEAP UP ON YOU LIKE SPIDER MAN...GRAB YOUR NECK WITH ONE HAND AND GRAB YOUR HAIR WITH THE OTHER HAND AND SPANK YOU WITH A THIRD TENTACLE OCTOPUS HAND THAT U AIN'T EVEN SEEN YET AND USE MY FOOT TO HIT YOU WITH THAT HITACHI ON FULL JACKHAMMER MODE...FINNA MAKE YOU CUM 783 TIMES MAMA...YOU DON'T EVEN...LISTEN...ON GOD IT'S FINNA BE ON..." Then y'all link up and he mount you and u kiss his neck and say "I missed you daddy" and he gon YOLO everything he done built up deep inside u, shed a single tear, roll over and schleep because that's what a real one gon do if u got that A1 Masterpiece Punani - especially after a long absence? Goner. U feel me? We miss u mama. That's just how it go down. Side note: there's no moral of the story here. I'm not gon say: "tone it down over text." That long distance pen pal shit is sexy AF! Just manage expectations and understand that in person it's gon be a lil different ๐Ÿค—. BLESS UP ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
Af, Bless Up, and Cum: Taking a sick day to spend time with his
 penguin
 @Drsmashlove
My lil homegirl text me saying "smash, I went to go see a guy I was talking to who moved, and it ended up being a little bit of a disappointment - I think we built it up too much while we were apart ๐Ÿ˜•." Ok lemme splain y'all. See what happen when u super charged up sexually with someone but y'all geographically apart is, u start getting into wild fantasy situations when discussing what y'all gonna do. It's never like "I'm gonna have passionate, loving missionary sexual relations with you because the distance hath made me crave you, lover ๐Ÿ˜." Nah. Hell nah. U gon be way, way overboard with it: "BABY GIRL...WHEN I FUCKING SEE YOU...IMMA...LISTEN...NO, SHUT UP, LISTEN...IMMA SUSPEND YOU UPSIDE DOWN SIDEWAYS FROM THE CEILING KARMA SUTRA STYLE...FINNA LEAP UP ON YOU LIKE SPIDER MAN...GRAB YOUR NECK WITH ONE HAND AND GRAB YOUR HAIR WITH THE OTHER HAND AND SPANK YOU WITH A THIRD TENTACLE OCTOPUS HAND THAT U AIN'T EVEN SEEN YET AND USE MY FOOT TO HIT YOU WITH THAT HITACHI ON FULL JACKHAMMER MODE...FINNA MAKE YOU CUM 783 TIMES MAMA...YOU DON'T EVEN...LISTEN...ON GOD IT'S FINNA BE ON..." Then y'all link up and he mount you and u kiss his neck and say "I missed you daddy" and he gon YOLO everything he done built up deep inside u, shed a single tear, roll over and schleep because that's what a real one gon do if u got that A1 Masterpiece Punani - especially after a long absence? Goner. U feel me? We miss u mama. That's just how it go down. Side note: there's no moral of the story here. I'm not gon say: "tone it down over text." That long distance pen pal shit is sexy AF! Just manage expectations and understand that in person it's gon be a lil different ๐Ÿค—. BLESS UP ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

My lil homegirl text me saying "smash, I went to go see a guy I was talking to who moved, and it ended up being a little bit of a disappoint...