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Being Alone, Children, and Creepy: via VERY FAST DELIVERY nly two things are more hazardous than writing to me during these times. They are eating mussels in July and receiving a rep y from mc, both of which may leave you feverish, shaking, and alone. However, it c n also be very uncomfortable to wait day a ter day for a reply that never comes, as I have since my last letter to a dear fried Consequ ntly. I m sending you a lette containing Very Few Details. Accept my hum le thanks and fervent wishes for your continued safety. as well as the safet of the familiar-looking neighbor with whom you have never spoken. With all due respect, Lemony Snickt jesstheespeon: explainingthejoke: popsicle-prince: dark-clifford: pooguns: frenchtugboat: bowieonthebelafonte: When i was 10, I sent a letter to Lemony Snicket. I didn’t receive a personal reply, but I got one of these. 7 years later I realized that there’s a message ABORT MISSION This is fucking scary I dont get it.. @explainingthejoke The images are of a reply from Lemony Snicket, an author known for his A Series of Unfortunate Events, a book series aimed at older children. The reply is written in the voice of his narrator character. The narrator shares his pen name and frequently writes in vague references to the reader, who is included in the mystery as the correspondent to whom Lemony Snicket is sending his information. The reply is titled “via VERY FAST DELIVERY.” The letters V.F.D. play a big part in the series. The note reads:  nly two things are more hazardous than writing to me during these times. They are eating mussels in July and receiving a rep y from me, both of which may leave you feverish, shaking, and alone. However, it c n also be very uncomfortable to wait day a ter day for a reply that never comes, as I have since my last letter to a dear frie d. Consequ ntly, I am sending you a lette  containing Very Few Details. Accept my humble thanks and fervent wishes for your continued safety, as well as the safety of the familiar-looking neighbor with whom you have never spoken. With all due respect, Lemony Snicket Several letters from this note are deliberately missing. If the reader wrote down each letter that was missing, they would spell out: OLAF NEARBY Count Olaf is the major villain in the series. Lemony Snicket is writing in code, suggesting that he can’t be candid because Olaf may be observing him or the reader. Creepy! This isn’t a joke. It is just cute. Dear reader, I sincerely hope you don’t have a sizable family fortune lying about.
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Ash, Bad, and Chill: Sat, Jun 22, 18:36 Hello traveller, I am your guide. Are you ready to begin your quest? Hello stranger, what do I need to do, to complete your request. You have to recover a long time lost manuscript held by a famous necromancer. Your journey begins in a forest. The left of you is a mountain with a large boulder blocking it's entrance, in front of you is an ancient graveyard. Some of the greatest heroes of the realm rest there I would like to investigate the grave- yard of it looks chill or haunted. Not strong enough to push that boulder As you enter the graveyard you notice old tombstones crumbling, scribed in language too ancient to be known by any living creature. While searching around you find a crypt, the front door has been knocked open, you can hear a soft gust of wind coming from inside. I copy the ancient text, best as possible. I use 'produce flame' when I enter the crypt. As you go in the light from your spell fills the room, you notice the coffins that adorn the walls and a spiral staircase that leads further down, at the bottom of it lies a large room, broken pillars, and a statue of Sild, the Warlock. A very powerful wizard from centuries past. Further away, with barely any light around it, you see a creature in a black robe facing away, as it ignores you on purpouse. There's a corpse on an alter in front of it, and it's hands deep inside it As I enter the room I go "excuuuuuse me, but it's not nice to sacrifice people" en hold my flame ready to attack if he would attack me... The creature in black turns annoyed by your interference, you see a beetle crawl out of it's eye socket, it's deformed face makes your stomach sick, as you think that eating all those fries before entering a graveyard was a bad idea. A purple light starts forming as he moves his hands together With a quick look around you notice a large floating orb 3 meters above the creature's head. You remember the old legend of Sild's orb, which he used teleport anywhere in the world. Nasty! God damn it those fries! I shoot my flame to the orb so the bug guy can't escape. And pull out my scimitar ready to attack As your flame hits, the orb shatters into what seems to be glass spikes, flying everywhere, further damaging the room. Some hit the creature, tearing his black robes just to reveal pieces of rotting flesh. The stench of death takes over the room, you can't hold those fries anymore, as you make an effort to not puke onto your brand new heels -and you hear your own voice in your head WHY WOULD YOU GO INTO A GRAVEYARD USING HEELS WOMAN ? As you get distracted, the creature fires his spell, you quickly block it with your scimitar, but it flies away from your hand. You are disarmed and the creature starts running in your direction "I DON'T I WANTED SOMETHING DIFFERENT THEN THE USUAL SNEAKERS as I replied to my own question. I take them of hold them as a weapon ready to defend myself against the ugly bug dude. And try to figure out if I can back to my scimitar. As you dual-wield your brand new puke-free heels you notice a two fast moving shadows moving behind the creature. Desperation starts to hit as you are outnumbered and your scimitar is nowhere to be seen, suddenly the shadows jump onto the creatures head and start attacking him. IT'S YOUR FAMILIARS, your thank yourself for installing that catdoor years ago. The creature loses balance just as it reaches you, slipping and faceplanting your puddle fries and cola that rested on the floor. You plunge it's head with both heels. It explodes and the creature slowly starts turning into ashes... You give a well deserved pet to them. The comforting purring sounds fills the room, you feel safe now. One of your familiars starts digging into the ash pile, as he found something of value there. IT'S A FORTUNE COOKIE! I go like "Oooh cookie!" I break it open and eat the cookie while I read. And also keep petting them, like a good rub under the chin. You slowly chew the cookie, the slight chocolate taste is well welcome at this moment, unravel the note, and it says , hit me up for fries & movies sometime. Sept Her profile said she was into RPGs

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