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America, Fire, and Head: S minutes ago I think that every classroom in America should have a fire extinguisher. Hear me out on my reason why When a school goes into lockdown, each classroom is pretty much a bunch of sitting ducks. If an attacker gets through the door, the teacher needs to engage them. Fighting back is all you can do at that point. Arming staff members opens up a huge can of worms and potentially more harm than good. But, what about fire extinguishers? What if, when a school went into lockdown, every teacher grabbed a fire extinguisher? If you're up against the wall next to the classroom's door, you should have a split second to make a first move. Pull. Aim. If he gets in, squeeze. The attacker is now engulfed in a cloud of white smoke. The white powder (potassiunm bicarbonate and CO2 mix) is now in his eyes ears and lungs. He can't see, and his oxygen has just been replaced with CO2 that is so cold his throat is being freezer burned. At some point, he's going to drop the weapon. If he's not going gone unconscious yet, hit him over the head as hard as you can with the extinguisher. You WILL knock him unconscious. Evacuate and let authorities take over Is this a foolproof method to stop the increasing numbers of attacks in our schools? No, but a freaking $30 fire extinguisher, which will cost even less when bought in bulk, is a start. If we can spend $720,000,000 in Iraq every day, I'm pretty sure we can put a fire extinguisher in every classroom in America it's less than $1 a student. That's a pretty cheap insurance policy, don't you think? (Please, feel free to share this) srsfunny:It’s Less Than $1 A Student

srsfunny:It’s Less Than $1 A Student

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Ass, Bad, and Bitch: HOW DOMINO'S PIZZA TRACKER SAVED A LIFE This is a story of why dating bipolar girls is not a good idea and how the Domino's Pizza tracker saved my life I have always been on the fence when it comes to Pizza Hut Vs. Dominos. I don't eat enough pizza from either to really have a concrete answer of which one makes a better pie. I can tell you one solid truth... As my last relationship ended and the lies, scandals and deceptions came out, after all was said and done, my psycho ex girlfriend did teach me one VERY important thing ALWAYS choose Domino's over pizza hut. I had been having trouble with my now Ex-girlfriend for quite awhile, I won't go into details, but let's just say she went crazy. I thought, simple: I'Il just break it off Wrong One Friday night, around 8:00pm, after a long week of work and incessant phone calls/psychotic voicemails from the unbalanced EX, I decided I was going to stay in, which one any weekend night is abnormal for me. Usually on weekend nights that I am in, I usually am cool with a movie, a 6 pack and a pizza. I had been ordering from Pizza Hut the last few times, but after a constant bombardment with Domino's WEVE CHANGED OUR SHIT,I SWEAR WE RE AWESOME NOW ad campaign, I decided to give it a shot Around 8pm, I went online to order my pizza I built a modest 2 topping medium pizza, and placed my order. You have to love how far we have come in the delivery pizza world Immediately afterwards, I was introduced to the piece of a software that would save my neck The Pizza Tracker Pizza tracker? Fuck yeah, the pizza tracker. If you don't know what the pizza tracker is, then get your ass online right now and order a pizza from Domino's It's the equivalent of a loading bar on a web browser, except at the end of the loading you get a delicious pizza ORDER MENU COUPONS LOCATIONS TRACKER ESPANO This is where the night got interesting. I am on my couch, one eye on "Parks and Rec the other on the pizza tracker displayed on my lap top that joined me on the couch. We had just entered stage 2. Prep. KNOCKI KNOCKI KNOCK For a split second I thought, "woh that was fast, Iput my order in 10 minutes ago and pizza tracker says it's still in stage 2 By the end of my thought, the door swung open Guess who Yep, it was my psychotic EX. Knife in hand, she starts threatening to do some pretty awful things. I try to stand up, she freaks. I stay on the couch and attempt to calm her down. She goes into a hysterical rant about us getting back together, ya right, and I glance at the pizza tracker Stage 3. Bake (Juan is putting your order in the oven) She goes on while all I can think is GO JUAN GO!!!GET THAT SHIT IN THE OVEN l try to calm her down, I stand up and she freaks out and tells me "SIT THE FUCK DOWN!! She continues on her violet outburst and I tell her we can work things out hoping to get her to calm down. It's no use. I decide I need to try and get to my phone. l inconspicuously try to look for my cell phone. Dammit! I left it my room. I am screwed. I am dead. The pizza man will get blamed for this! Oh, the poor pizza boy will be wrongfully blamed and get life in prison for what this unstable bitch is going to do to me STAGE 41 BOX FUCK YEAH! They are boxing up my pizza. Get your ass over here She continues on for another 5 minutes. Trying to make eye contact, glancing at the pizza tracker every second she looks away Stage 51 DELIVERY Alejandro is delivering your pizza GOD SPEED ALEJENDROIII MY LIFE AND YOUR FREEDOM RELY ON THIS Knowing that the Alejandro is on the way, I try and just keep her talking, but the more she talks the more enraged she gets. I try to interupt, but that just makes things worse It's been 10 minutes, Alejandro should be here any time She continues, she is yelling at the top of her lungs about the things we could have been. I am still banking that Alejandro will be here any second and save the day 10 more minutes go by Alejandro GET YOUR ASS IN GEAR SHE IS OFFICIALLY FREAKING THE FUCK OUT. She puts the knife up to her wrist and then takes it away. I am panicking. Where the fuck is Alejandro! Pizza tracker tells me we're still in stage 5. FUCK YOU PIZZA TRACKER, YOUVE BEEN IN STAGE 5 FOR 25 MINUTES!!!! I will never order from Domino's again!!! After this thought I immediately think to myself, I will be dead, so I will probably never order another pizza again. Right then, the cops come in. At gunpoint they calm her down and obtain the knife. Alejandro had shown up to the door wide open and saw psycho with the knife and went back to his 98 Honda Accord and called the cops. Domino's pizza literally saved my life. They should change the name from the pizza tracker to the savior tracker Alejandro is the true definition of a hero. In a way, Alejandro is the 5th ninja turtle. He showed up, accessed the situation, didnt panic, and saved my ass from the bad guys. Oh yeah, and he brought a fucking excellent pizza too. THIS IS THE MOST AWESOME THING I HAVE EVER READ POWER TO THE PIZZA MA THEMETAPICTURECOM srsfunny: Very Well Done Domino’s Pizza Tracker
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America, Fire, and Head: S minutes ago I think that every classroom in America should have a fire extinguisher. Hear me out on my reason why When a school goes into lockdown, each classroom is pretty much a bunch of sitting ducks. If an attacker gets through the door, the teacher needs to engage them. Fighting back is all you can do at that point. Arming staff members opens up a huge can of worms and potentially more harm than good. But, what about fire extinguishers? What if, when a school went into lockdown, every teacher grabbed a fire extinguisher? If you're up against the wall next to the classroom's door, you should have a split second to make a first move. Pull. Aim. If he gets in, squeeze. The attacker is now engulfed in a cloud of white smoke. The white powder (potassiunm bicarbonate and CO2 mix) is now in his eyes ears and lungs. He can't see, and his oxygen has just been replaced with CO2 that is so cold his throat is being freezer burned. At some point, he's going to drop the weapon. If he's not going gone unconscious yet, hit him over the head as hard as you can with the extinguisher. You WILL knock him unconscious. Evacuate and let authorities take over Is this a foolproof method to stop the increasing numbers of attacks in our schools? No, but a freaking $30 fire extinguisher, which will cost even less when bought in bulk, is a start. If we can spend $720,000,000 in Iraq every day, I'm pretty sure we can put a fire extinguisher in every classroom in America it's less than $1 a student. That's a pretty cheap insurance policy, don't you think? (Please, feel free to share this) whitefox55: sixpenceee: Wow. Give the OP a medal or something.

whitefox55: sixpenceee: Wow. Give the OP a medal or something.

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Ass, Bad, and Bitch: HOW DOMINO'S PIZZA TRACKER SAVED A LIFE This is a story of why dating bipolar girls is not a good idea and how the Domino's Pizza tracker saved my life I have always been on the fence when it comes to Pizza Hut Vs. Dominos. I don't eat enough pizza from either to really have a concrete answer of which one makes a better pie. I can tell you one solid truth... As my last relationship ended and the lies, scandals and deceptions came out, after all was said and done, my psycho ex girlfriend did teach me one VERY important thing ALWAYS choose Domino's over pizza hut. I had been having trouble with my now Ex-girlfriend for quite awhile, I won't go into details, but let's just say she went crazy. I thought, simple: I'Il just break it off Wrong One Friday night, around 8:00pm, after a long week of work and incessant phone calls/psychotic voicemails from the unbalanced EX, I decided I was going to stay in, which one any weekend night is abnormal for me. Usually on weekend nights that I am in, I usually am cool with a movie, a 6 pack and a pizza. I had been ordering from Pizza Hut the last few times, but after a constant bombardment with Domino's WEVE CHANGED OUR SHIT,I SWEAR WE RE AWESOME NOW ad campaign, I decided to give it a shot Around 8pm, I went online to order my pizza I built a modest 2 topping medium pizza, and placed my order. You have to love how far we have come in the delivery pizza world Immediately afterwards, I was introduced to the piece of a software that would save my neck The Pizza Tracker Pizza tracker? Fuck yeah, the pizza tracker. If you don't know what the pizza tracker is, then get your ass online right now and order a pizza from Domino's It's the equivalent of a loading bar on a web browser, except at the end of the loading you get a delicious pizza ORDER MENU COUPONS LOCATIONS TRACKER ESPANO This is where the night got interesting. I am on my couch, one eye on "Parks and Rec the other on the pizza tracker displayed on my lap top that joined me on the couch. We had just entered stage 2. Prep. KNOCKI KNOCKI KNOCK For a split second I thought, "woh that was fast, Iput my order in 10 minutes ago and pizza tracker says it's still in stage 2 By the end of my thought, the door swung open Guess who Yep, it was my psychotic EX. Knife in hand, she starts threatening to do some pretty awful things. I try to stand up, she freaks. I stay on the couch and attempt to calm her down. She goes into a hysterical rant about us getting back together, ya right, and I glance at the pizza tracker Stage 3. Bake (Juan is putting your order in the oven) She goes on while all I can think is GO JUAN GO!!!GET THAT SHIT IN THE OVEN l try to calm her down, I stand up and she freaks out and tells me "SIT THE FUCK DOWN!! She continues on her violet outburst and I tell her we can work things out hoping to get her to calm down. It's no use. I decide I need to try and get to my phone. l inconspicuously try to look for my cell phone. Dammit! I left it my room. I am screwed. I am dead. The pizza man will get blamed for this! Oh, the poor pizza boy will be wrongfully blamed and get life in prison for what this unstable bitch is going to do to me STAGE 41 BOX FUCK YEAH! They are boxing up my pizza. Get your ass over here She continues on for another 5 minutes. Trying to make eye contact, glancing at the pizza tracker every second she looks away Stage 51 DELIVERY Alejandro is delivering your pizza GOD SPEED ALEJENDROIII MY LIFE AND YOUR FREEDOM RELY ON THIS Knowing that the Alejandro is on the way, I try and just keep her talking, but the more she talks the more enraged she gets. I try to interupt, but that just makes things worse It's been 10 minutes, Alejandro should be here any time She continues, she is yelling at the top of her lungs about the things we could have been. I am still banking that Alejandro will be here any second and save the day 10 more minutes go by Alejandro GET YOUR ASS IN GEAR SHE IS OFFICIALLY FREAKING THE FUCK OUT. She puts the knife up to her wrist and then takes it away. I am panicking. Where the fuck is Alejandro! Pizza tracker tells me we're still in stage 5. FUCK YOU PIZZA TRACKER, YOUVE BEEN IN STAGE 5 FOR 25 MINUTES!!!! I will never order from Domino's again!!! After this thought I immediately think to myself, I will be dead, so I will probably never order another pizza again. Right then, the cops come in. At gunpoint they calm her down and obtain the knife. Alejandro had shown up to the door wide open and saw psycho with the knife and went back to his 98 Honda Accord and called the cops. Domino's pizza literally saved my life. They should change the name from the pizza tracker to the savior tracker Alejandro is the true definition of a hero. In a way, Alejandro is the 5th ninja turtle. He showed up, accessed the situation, didnt panic, and saved my ass from the bad guys. Oh yeah, and he brought a fucking excellent pizza too. THIS IS THE MOST AWESOME THING I HAVE EVER READ POWER TO THE PIZZA MA THEMETAPICTURECOM srsfunny:Very Well Done Domino’s Pizza Tracker
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Meme, World, and Brilliant: Sometimes a brilliant meme makes its way to the right person and for a split second, all is right with the world.

Sometimes a brilliant meme makes its way to the right person and for a split second, all is right with the world.

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Be Like, College, and Darth Vader: what's the weirdest thing about university e Anonymous sugarfey: jerushajingleton how nothing is surprising or abnor like you can be sitting in your kitchen at 2am eating pasta sauce out of a jar with a spoon and the only thing you think is "this is really tasty i wonder what it would be like spread on toast or going into the library and seeing someone sat at a computer wrapped in a duvet and thinking "that's a genius idea or seeing someone sitting in a lecture with a 2 pint bottle of milk just swigging from it and just being jealous literally anything goes. no one is gonna question your habits bc guaranteed they will have done something equally bizarre I once came into a lecture hall to find a guy dressed as Darth Vader in the front row. No one questioned this One of the guys in a discussion class was a Jeffersonian back-to-basics Guy, and lord did he make sure everyone knew it. One day, mid-lecture, he pulled out a big old glass, gallon water jug, and the thunk was so loud when he set it on the table that the professor blinked, paused, and we could just SEE him do a split second logic chain: IF I ask, THEN he will spend ten minutes explaining, but IF I just move on, THEN we will finish this subject And then he just kept lecturing 113,670 notes Reblogged 3 hours ago from zeussthundercock (originally from jerushajingletons) Tagged: college Source: jerushajingletons University teaches you to both question everything and question nothing

University teaches you to both question everything and question nothing

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