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Funny, Sponge, and Sponge Bob: Sponge Bob was found dead this morning via /r/funny https://ift.tt/2zn7bL6

Sponge Bob was found dead this morning via /r/funny https://ift.tt/2zn7bL6

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Alive, Bane, and Beautiful: friend-called-boxcar who was the fool who was tasked with naming the galax y and the only adjective they could think of was skazuhira-miller scientist: (gazing up at space) scientist: sure is a milky boy freshfriedtrash NO YOU DONT UNDERSTAND MERS ARE THE SHITTEST EVER AT ASTRONO NAMING THINGS I KID YOU NOT When it came time to name the two theoretical particle types that might be dark matter THEY INTENTIONALLY CHOSE THE NAMES SO THAT THE ACRONYMS WOULD SPELL "WIMPS" AND MACHOS I SHIT YOU NOT THEY ARE FUCKING TERRIBLE AT NAMING ANYTHING braincoins I just listened to a talk by Neil deGrasse Tyson himself LAST NIGHT and he went on about this more than once m walking down the street and I'm like pretty rock... and some Geologist is like 'actually that's anorthosite feldspar and I'm like 'Nevermind, I don't want it anymore. Any biologists in the audience? [some clapping] Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. The most important molecule in the human body, what did you name it? It has NINE SYLLABLES and it's so long that even YOU GUYS abbreviate it as DNA'! But astrophysicists and astronomers? No, man, we call it like we see it. Star made of neutrons? NEUTRON STAR. Small white star? WHITE DWARF You know that big red spot on Jupiter? Know what we cal " lled it? JUPITER'S RED SPOT the-scarlet-spider okay i'm glad you mentioned the biologist nonsense bc their naming methods are the bane of my existence gallusrostromegalus I see your astrophysicists-are-shit-at-names and raise you Marine-Biologists-Are-Fucking-Maniacs See this beautiful creature? It's a carnivorous deep-sea sponge that lives off of Easter Island and never sees the light of day, as it's about 9000 feet down. Those delicate-looking orbs are covered in millions of tiny hooked spines, which latch onto anything unfortunate enough to bump into it, and hold it in place as it is digested alive by the sponge's skin. Amazing, beautiful and profoundly creepy. They could have given it so many cool names. Could have drawn on mythology (I think Scylla would have been an appropriate reference), the region it was found in, the textured skin, PHAGOCYTOSIS, anything! You wanna know what they called it? PING-PONG TREE SPONGE. Good job, marine biologists. Source: friend-called-boxcar Scientific nomenclature is sh#te but sometimes funny.
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