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Bad, Driving, and Life: No way! His yelp got the others' attention, and Matt was pre- dictably the next to react. He bolted past Neil to starea the car. "What are you doing with a Maserati?" "Driving it," Andrew said, like it should be obvious, and got in the driver's seat Matt reached for the hood with both hands but didn't touch it, like he thought his fingerprints might ruin the perfect exterior. The blatant awe on his face had Neil loo- king to Andrew. Andrew met his gaze through the windshield but didn't hold it for long. He reached for the door to close it, but Matt darted around and put his hand in the way. He leaned over to look inside, owl-eyed and rapturous. Nicky had fewer reservations about putting his Matt beckoned to Andrew. "Start it up! Let me hear it." f1 Andrew twisted the key in the ignition. and the ca came to life with a quiet roar. Matt threw his hands up and spun away like he was orchestrating a symphony. jsteneil: I love the moment everyone discovers the Maserati, because Andrew did not have to play along with Matt’s admiration. Andrew’s words are always measured and important: he didn’t have to say anything to Matt’s “What are you doing with a Maserati”. But he does say something, and he lets Matt look inside–interrupting his movement to close the door– even though he’s already in the driver’s seat, which means that Matt is leaning over him inside the car. And then, he starts it up when Matt asks! And Matt isn’t even part of his “family”.  Like, he’s so bad at pretending he doesn’t feel anything when he just went and bought himself a freaking Maserati!!

jsteneil: I love the moment everyone discovers the Maserati, because Andrew did not have to play along with Matt’s admiration. Andrew’s word...

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Bad, Family, and Phone: 2 When my grandfather was young he owned a roadside motel, and my mother used to do work around the motel for the family. The building was old and they had bad pipes, so visits from the plumber were a fairly regular occurrence over there At one point they had a clogged toilet after a guest checked out, so they called the plumber to come and clean it out. The plumber came in with his bag of gear and set to work, but the clog was stubborn After a few tries, he decided he needed to get the snake I don't know if you've ever seen a serious plumbing snake, but the big ones are a sight to behold. This isn't a little crank auger, it's a full-on electrical powered snake with a big motor on the back and a little grabby claw on the end So he fires up the snake and sends the metal coil down into the pipes with the claw closed, figuring whatever's down there he'll just bump it a bit, push it down the pipes until it clears - but this doesn't happen either. Finally, in frustration, he twists the control to open the mechanical claw at the end of the coil, closes it on something, throws the motor in reverse and starts to pull it back up By now a couple of members of the staff have gathered in the room to try and tigure out what the hell got flushed down the toilet that this giant machine couldn't remove. The motor is really straining you know that sound an electric motor makes when it's working really hard? The whole machine is struggling to pull whatever this is back up through the pipes and into the roonm Finally, after an extended wait, the object is slowly dragged, sopping wet, out of the toilet bowl - and it's a shower curtain, The staff is dumbfounded. They're trying to figure out how this could have happened. It would be weird enough if the guest had ripped the shower curtain down and flushed it down the toilet, but the shower curtain in the room is still there. It would be even weirder if the guest had brought their own shower curtain to the motel and tried to flush it down the toilet, but it's clearly one of their shower curtains. Did they try and steal the shower curtain, leave with it, then feel guilty and come back only to find that the shower curtain had already been replaced, and then flush the shower curtain down the toilet to hide the evidence? While they're discussing this, the room phone rings The person on the other end is screaming, hysterical, so it takes a few minutes for them to figure out that it's the housekeeper who was cleaning the rooms. After a few moments, the manage to get the story out of her: The snake had missed the clog entirely. Rather than spiraling down into the plumbing where it was intended to go, it had wound its way into the central line, and then back up the pipes in the room next door. It spiraled its way up, out the toilet bowl, and then started flailing wildly around the next-door bathroom like a Lovecraftian nightmare made of steel, knocking things off of shelves and clattering furiously around the room. Then, while the hapless housekeeper watched in horror, a metal claw opened on the end of it and snagged the shower curtain, ripped it off the bar ring-by-ring, spun it around the room until it was coiled tightly around the cable, and dragged it back down into the toilet bowl The actual clog was never found 10980 Because a shower curtain would really go through the pipes like that

Because a shower curtain would really go through the pipes like that

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Beautiful, God, and Lottery: Hill I would like to share this beautiful passage with all of you, it's long, but worth it. And I swear to god I didn't alter any of this Her long hair, still wet from the shower, had been combed down her back in a wet swath Hilda was sitting on the floor, her round, wet boobs still wet from the shower's water. She dried off the water with a towel, which then became wet. Hilda gasped when she saw a reflection in her bedroom mirror: through the slightly open door, she caught a glimpse of the chiseled abs and square jaw of the mysterious stranger who shared her cabin. She stood and spun around, her breasts swinging heavily with the momentum. She grabbed the door She saw herself and Torolf happy together, bathed in the golden light of love. Her snooch got all warm, too Torolf," Hilda moaned, her lush teats straining with desire. "I need you." Torolf, coarse abs pulsing softly in the moonlight, stood silently Hilda looked at him expectantly. "Oh, sorry, she added. "Torolf, I need you sexually." At hearing those beautiful words, Torolf flexed his rough-hewn abs and Hilda found herself being guided to her soft bed by the sheer force of Torolfs undulating midsection. She parted her thighs in anticipation, exposing the soft pink petals of her clunge Torolf entered her like she was a lottery. His engorged pecker pushed inside her and she felt fulfilled with sexual fulfillment. Hilda clutched at the bedsheets with lust and ecstasy and her hands. Her spongy love mountains hurled to and fro with each pounding. Her body was like a beautiful flower that was opening and somebody was pushing their dick inside it. Then Torolf moaned, arched his back, and suffered from dick Parkinson's. He pumped in all of his hot pearlescent sperms as Hilda spasmed with so many orgasms! The two lay still for a moment as the stinky scent of lovemaking billowed around the room. Hilda got out of bed, still shimmering with orgasm. She glowed with contentment, like a cat who ate the cream of the crop She walked across the room and picked up her towel, still wet with shower water. "Torolf," she said softly, "there's something I have to tell you... But her bed was empty Torolf was gone, escaped out the bedroom window. In the distance, Hilda heard the fading sound of galloping abs DICK ANEURYSM GALLOPING ABS A beautiful piece of literature.
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Bad, Driving, and Life: No way! His yelp got the others' attention, and Matt was pre- dictably the next to react. He bolted past Neil to starea the car. "What are you doing with a Maserati?" "Driving it," Andrew said, like it should be obvious, and got in the driver's seat Matt reached for the hood with both hands but didn't touch it, like he thought his fingerprints might ruin the perfect exterior. The blatant awe on his face had Neil loo- king to Andrew. Andrew met his gaze through the windshield but didn't hold it for long. He reached for the door to close it, but Matt darted around and put his hand in the way. He leaned over to look inside, owl-eyed and rapturous. Nicky had fewer reservations about putting his Matt beckoned to Andrew. "Start it up! Let me hear it." f1 Andrew twisted the key in the ignition. and the ca came to life with a quiet roar. Matt threw his hands up and spun away like he was orchestrating a symphony. jsteneil: I love the moment everyone discovers the Maserati, because Andrew did not have to play along with Matt’s admiration. Andrew’s words are always measured and important: he didn’t have to say anything to Matt’s “What are you doing with a Maserati”. But he does say something, and he lets Matt look inside–interrupting his movement to close the door– even though he’s already in the driver’s seat, which means that Matt is leaning over him inside the car. And then, he starts it up when Matt asks! And Matt isn’t even part of his “family”.  Like, he’s so bad at pretending he doesn’t feel anything when he just went and bought himself a freaking Maserati!!

jsteneil: I love the moment everyone discovers the Maserati, because Andrew did not have to play along with Matt’s admiration. Andrew’s word...

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Bones, Dogs, and Fucking: its tunny how science iction unverses s0 oten treat humans as a boring defaut everyman species or even the weakest and I want to see a scit universe where we're actualy considered one of the mare hideous and territying species How do we know our saiva and skin ois wouidn't be utra-corrosive to most other races? What if we strongest vocal chords and can paralye or ka the screaming at them? what if most sentient lite in the universe turns out to be vegetable-like and ives in fear of us rare animat races who can move so quicly and chew shit up with our Like that old story theyre made of meat onty HOLY SHT THEY EAT CAPSACIN FOR FUN YOU GUYS IHEARD A HUMAN ONCE ATE AN A HUMAN CAN KEEP FIGHTING FOR HOURS EVEN humans are a proud warrior race weh a pantheon of bloody gods Ram-Bo, Schwarzenegger, etc REMOVING A LIMB WLL NOT FATALLY INCAPACITATE HUMANS ALWAYS DESTROY THE HEAD WARNING HUMANS CAN DETECT YOU EVEN AT NIGHT BY TRACKING VIBRATIONS THROUGH THE WARNING HUMANS CAN REPRODUCE AT A RATE OF 1 PER SPACEYEAR DESTROY INFESTATIONS IMMEDIATELY THE HUMAN MOUTH HAS OVER THIRTY OUTCROPS OF BONE AND POWERFUL JAW HUMAN BITES CAN BE FATALLY INFECTIOUS EVEN TO OTHER HUMANS WARNTIG HUMANS CAN AND WILL USE IMPROMSED WEAPONS SEE CLASSIFIED DATA HUMANS CAN PROJECT BIOWEAPONS FROM ALMOST EVERY ORIFICE ON THEIR BOOY 0O OH GOO THE HUMANS FIGURED OUT DOOR HANDLES OH GOD OH GO0 More senously, humans do have a number of advantages even among Terrestrial life Our endurance shock resistance, and abiity to recover trom injury is absurdy high compared to amost any other animal we often use the phrase heathy as a horse to connote heartiness-but compared to a human, a horse is as fragie as spun glass There's mountng evidence that our primitive ancestors would hunt large prey simply by toiong逮at a walking pace. without sleep or rest un t ded of exhaustion, ts called pursuit predation The only other animal that can sort of keep up wth us? Dogs That's why we use them for hunting And even then it's only sort of) Now extrapolate that to a galaxy in which most sapient te did not evolive from hyper-speciaised pursut Our strength and speed is nothing to write home about, but we dont need to overpower or outrun you, we just need to ousast you- and by any other species standards, we just plain don t ge e Where a simple broken leg will cause most species to go into shock and die, we can recover from vitually any injury that's not atal Even traumatik dismemberment isnt necessarily a career-ending injury for a human We heal from injunes with edtreme rapioity recovenng in weeks trom wounds that would take others months or years to heal The resuits aren't pretty humans have hyperactive scar tissue. among our other suvival-onented trats-bu ook at our We developed surgery centuries before developing even the most anesthetics or life support. in extermis, humans have been known to perform surgery on themselves- and survive Thanks to our extreme heartiness we regard as routine medica procedures what most other species would regard as inventive forms of murder We even perform radical surgery on ourselves for purely cosmetic n essence, wed be Space Orcs I do hope you realize Im going to be picking up this stuft and Our jaus have too many TEETH in them, so we developed a way O WELD METAL TO OUR TEETH and FORCE THE BONES IN OUR JAVV to restructure over the course of years to fit them back into shape and then we continue to wear metail in out mouths to keep them in place We formed cohabitative relationships with tny mamma's and insects we keep at bay from botnening us by death, often using ittle analouge traps And by god we will eat anything - We use borderline toxic peppers to season our tood e We expose ourselves to patentaly lethal solar radiation in the our skin e We risk hearing loss for the opportunity to see our favonte + We have a game where two peopie get into an enciosed area and hit each other untl time tuns outione of them pass out We willingly lurip 0ut ot planes with only a firey piece of cloth to prevent us trom splatering against the ground Our response to natural disasters is to just rebuild our buidings in the exact same places We climb mountains and risk treezing to death for bragging rights We invented dogs We took our one time predators and completely domesticated them On a planet ful of lons, tigers and bears, we managed to advance further and faster than any other species on the planet e Kingons and Krogan and Orcs aint got sht on us can we taik about how pursut predation is fucking tenlying it's one thing to face down a cheetah, which wil siam into you at 60 mph and break your neck its another thing to run very quickly to get away from a thing, only to have it just kind of show up to have it be intelligent enough to fgure out where you are by the fur and feather youve left behind, your tootprints and piss and sht, and then you think you've lost .it and you bed down for the night but THERE IT IS WAITING WHEN YOU WAKE UP and you spiti againt but it keeps folowing you always in the comer of your eye until you just de ok cov Sci-Fi, except humans are the scary cool aliens with unimaginable powers.
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Bones, Dogs, and Fucking: its tunny how science iction unverses s0 oten treat humans as a boring defaut everyman species or even the weakest and I want to see a scit universe where we're actualy considered one of the mare hideous and territying species How do we know our saiva and skin ois wouidn't be utra-corrosive to most other races? What if we strongest vocal chords and can paralye or ka the screaming at them? what if most sentient lite in the universe turns out to be vegetable-like and ives in fear of us rare animat races who can move so quicly and chew shit up with our Like that old story theyre made of meat onty HOLY SHT THEY EAT CAPSACIN FOR FUN YOU GUYS IHEARD A HUMAN ONCE ATE AN A HUMAN CAN KEEP FIGHTING FOR HOURS EVEN humans are a proud warrior race weh a pantheon of bloody gods Ram-Bo, Schwarzenegger, etc REMOVING A LIMB WLL NOT FATALLY INCAPACITATE HUMANS ALWAYS DESTROY THE HEAD WARNING HUMANS CAN DETECT YOU EVEN AT NIGHT BY TRACKING VIBRATIONS THROUGH THE WARNING HUMANS CAN REPRODUCE AT A RATE OF 1 PER SPACEYEAR DESTROY INFESTATIONS IMMEDIATELY THE HUMAN MOUTH HAS OVER THIRTY OUTCROPS OF BONE AND POWERFUL JAW HUMAN BITES CAN BE FATALLY INFECTIOUS EVEN TO OTHER HUMANS WARNTIG HUMANS CAN AND WILL USE IMPROMSED WEAPONS SEE CLASSIFIED DATA HUMANS CAN PROJECT BIOWEAPONS FROM ALMOST EVERY ORIFICE ON THEIR BOOY 0O OH GOO THE HUMANS FIGURED OUT DOOR HANDLES OH GOD OH GO0 More senously, humans do have a number of advantages even among Terrestrial life Our endurance shock resistance, and abiity to recover trom injury is absurdy high compared to amost any other animal we often use the phrase heathy as a horse to connote heartiness-but compared to a human, a horse is as fragie as spun glass There's mountng evidence that our primitive ancestors would hunt large prey simply by toiong逮at a walking pace. without sleep or rest un t ded of exhaustion, ts called pursuit predation The only other animal that can sort of keep up wth us? Dogs That's why we use them for hunting And even then it's only sort of) Now extrapolate that to a galaxy in which most sapient te did not evolive from hyper-speciaised pursut Our strength and speed is nothing to write home about, but we dont need to overpower or outrun you, we just need to ousast you- and by any other species standards, we just plain don t ge e Where a simple broken leg will cause most species to go into shock and die, we can recover from vitually any injury that's not atal Even traumatik dismemberment isnt necessarily a career-ending injury for a human We heal from injunes with edtreme rapioity recovenng in weeks trom wounds that would take others months or years to heal The resuits aren't pretty humans have hyperactive scar tissue. among our other suvival-onented trats-bu ook at our We developed surgery centuries before developing even the most anesthetics or life support. in extermis, humans have been known to perform surgery on themselves- and survive Thanks to our extreme heartiness we regard as routine medica procedures what most other species would regard as inventive forms of murder We even perform radical surgery on ourselves for purely cosmetic n essence, wed be Space Orcs I do hope you realize Im going to be picking up this stuft and Our jaus have too many TEETH in them, so we developed a way O WELD METAL TO OUR TEETH and FORCE THE BONES IN OUR JAVV to restructure over the course of years to fit them back into shape and then we continue to wear metail in out mouths to keep them in place We formed cohabitative relationships with tny mamma's and insects we keep at bay from botnening us by death, often using ittle analouge traps And by god we will eat anything - We use borderline toxic peppers to season our tood e We expose ourselves to patentaly lethal solar radiation in the our skin e We risk hearing loss for the opportunity to see our favonte + We have a game where two peopie get into an enciosed area and hit each other untl time tuns outione of them pass out We willingly lurip 0ut ot planes with only a firey piece of cloth to prevent us trom splatering against the ground Our response to natural disasters is to just rebuild our buidings in the exact same places We climb mountains and risk treezing to death for bragging rights We invented dogs We took our one time predators and completely domesticated them On a planet ful of lons, tigers and bears, we managed to advance further and faster than any other species on the planet e Kingons and Krogan and Orcs aint got sht on us can we taik about how pursut predation is fucking tenlying it's one thing to face down a cheetah, which wil siam into you at 60 mph and break your neck its another thing to run very quickly to get away from a thing, only to have it just kind of show up to have it be intelligent enough to fgure out where you are by the fur and feather youve left behind, your tootprints and piss and sht, and then you think you've lost .it and you bed down for the night but THERE IT IS WAITING WHEN YOU WAKE UP and you spiti againt but it keeps folowing you always in the comer of your eye until you just de ok cov Sci-Fi, except humans are the scary cool aliens with unimaginable powers.
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Abc, Beautiful, and Facebook: Couple Who Survived Las Vegas Mass Shooting, Dies Two Weeks Later in Car Crash @balleralert Couple Who Survived Las Vegas Mass Shooting, Dies Two Weeks Later in Car Crash – blogged by @MsJennyb ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ On October 1, domestic terrorist Stephen Paddock opened fire on a Country music festival in what has been described as the deadliest mass shooting in modern American history. However, some managed to escape the terror, including California couple, Lorraine and Dennis Carver. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Just two weeks after Dennis shielded his wife from Paddock’s bullets in Las Vegas, the couple tragically lost their lives in a car accident in California. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ According to reports, the couple’s car crashed on Oct. 16, just 15 days after the shooting. The car careened off the road and hit a cinder block column, rupturing the gas tank. The car then spun out of control and slammed into another cinder block column, just before it became engulfed in flames, ABC news reports. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Days later, the couple’s daughter, Brooke, took to Facebook to announce her parents’ untimely death. “Our beautiful, amazing, and strong parents were in a tragic and fatal car crash just down the street from my house,” she wrote. “Our parents couldn’t have done more for us, they truly did make sure we had anything and everything we would ever want, including love which will last a lifetime.”

Couple Who Survived Las Vegas Mass Shooting, Dies Two Weeks Later in Car Crash – blogged by @MsJennyb ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ On October 1, domestic...

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