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keyhollow: rametarin: someoneintheshadow456: vikkidc: rv-nn: el-kabongjr: manwiththesquidhat: kichizone: oswinstark: wilwheaton: kittydoom: jimmyfury: pumpkinskull: interruptingpanda: myotpisgay: ninjaboots: gayyourlifemustbe: cloakstone69: president-vanellope: wake up america this is to educate my non-American followers. This really is how the US sees itself. (and yes, 95% of the time, Florida = WHAT?!) In Florida the more North you go, the more “South” you get  In Florida the central part pretends to be the south, the western part pretends to be the northeast and the south pretends to be the west I’m not even kidding you  … Please tell me you guys are kidding.   Florida is like it’s own country I swear I’m from Florida and I can confirm this. Also, South Florida is basically Miami and alligators. oh, i always assumed florida was part of The South? north florida is yes. The rest is not. I’m from Florida, and grew up in SC/NC. Can confirm all true. 👍 Um. This is so wrong. You’re forgetting the part where California sees itself as its own entity. We do not want to be grouped in with everyone else, thanks. clearly none of you have ever met someone from texas I’m from Texas and I “Yee-Haw” this message ^ LMFAO America truly is a bunch of countries in a trench coat Bitch please at least your “countries in a trench coat” speak the same language. Sorta. The number of Spanish-only speakers is goin’ up up up. Which needs to change or shits gonna get fucky real quick, especially in school system standardized testing bullshit ugh You say that as if shit hasn’t been fucky for decades : The US SHOULD be divided like this Nos Norther Suthwes* Southeost But its act э11ym like this: uest South Whot keyhollow: rametarin: someoneintheshadow456: vikkidc: rv-nn: el-kabongjr: manwiththesquidhat: kichizone: oswinstark: wilwheaton: kittydoom: jimmyfury: pumpkinskull: interruptingpanda: myotpisgay: ninjaboots: gayyourlifemustbe: cloakstone69: president-vanellope: wake up america this is to educate my non-American followers. This really is how the US sees itself. (and yes, 95% of the time, Florida = WHAT?!) In Florida the more North you go, the more “South” you get  In Florida the central part pretends to be the south, the western part pretends to be the northeast and the south pretends to be the west I’m not even kidding you  … Please tell me you guys are kidding.   Florida is like it’s own country I swear I’m from Florida and I can confirm this. Also, South Florida is basically Miami and alligators. oh, i always assumed florida was part of The South? north florida is yes. The rest is not. I’m from Florida, and grew up in SC/NC. Can confirm all true. 👍 Um. This is so wrong. You’re forgetting the part where California sees itself as its own entity. We do not want to be grouped in with everyone else, thanks. clearly none of you have ever met someone from texas I’m from Texas and I “Yee-Haw” this message ^ LMFAO America truly is a bunch of countries in a trench coat Bitch please at least your “countries in a trench coat” speak the same language. Sorta. The number of Spanish-only speakers is goin’ up up up. Which needs to change or shits gonna get fucky real quick, especially in school system standardized testing bullshit ugh You say that as if shit hasn’t been fucky for decades 
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bibliotecaria-d: ebonykain: karacat: othersideofforty: erinnightwalker: ripped-up-jeans-and-glitter: erinnightwalker: acaffeinejunkie: erinnightwalker: erinnightwalker: geostatonary: sixpenceee: “A house I pass on the way to work has this sculpture in its yard. Its about 8 feet tall.” (Source) “HELLO NEIGHBOR STEVE, I WOULD LIKE TO INVITE YOU TO BARBEQUE ON THE EVE OF THE BLOOD MOON.  I FEEL WE GOT OFF TO A BAD START.” “NEIGHBOR STEVE, DO YOU NOT WISH TO PARTAKE OF THE UNCLEAN FLESH-MEATS OF PIGS AND THE POLLUTED ESSENCES OF TOMATO?  PERHAPS YOU ARE A CAROLINA STYLE MAN, NEIGHBOR STEVE?” “PUT THE GUN AWAY NEIGHBOR STEVE, YOU KNOW I SHALL ONLY RISE AGAIN WITH THE DAWNING OF THE MOON.  WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH THIS MANY TIMES.” “LOOK AT THIS PICTURE MY SON DREW OF YOU AND CHILD TIMMY, YOUR SON.  ARE THEY NOT THE PICTURE OF PACT-MATES?  THIS COULD BE YOU AND ME, NEIGHBOR STEVE.” “YOU MISSED THE UNHOLY NEXUS OF POWER THAT IS THE KEY TO MY CORPOREAL FORM, NEIGHBOR STEVE.  YOU WILL NEED TO RELOAD NOW, SO I WILL GO INSIDE TO MY HELL-WIFE AND PUT YOU DOWN AS A SOLID ‘MAYBE’.“ I have the feeling that the families get along great except for Steve. Like, the wives are baking (questionable) brownies together, the kids are playing together, Antler Guy occasionally takes Son and Timmy to school (no car, just carries them in huge swinging strides through a nexus of ungoldly sights in a swirling netherworld shortcut. Sometimes they stop for McDonalds). Hell-wife gave them a potted Audrey Jr., Steve’s wife (who I now christen Sharon) gave them a begonia. One time Steve tries throwing holy water but all Antler Guy does is thank him, saying that no, Antler Guy isn’t Catholic but it’s the thought that counts, he is so kind to water his creeping deathshade vines regardless. For Christmas Antler Guy gives Steve a case of ammunition. To be funny/sarcastically mean Steve gets Antler Guy the world’s most hideous Christmas sweater, singing light-up reindeer included. He immediately regrets it because not only does Antler Guy love it and wears it for several months, it will never need batteries because Antler Guy powers it with his own eldritch aura. When they come back from a holiday to Hawaii, Steve is horrified to find out Sharon bought them matching Hawaiian shirts. He is even more horrified that his wife means it that if he doesn’t wear it he will forever sleep on the couch. I want to expand on this, since I see it’s still passing around and the ideas have grown in my brainmeats. What drives Steve up the wall and down the other side is how… normal… everyone treats the Abominations. (Yes, that is their last name. No, it is not a joke. Son was asked his last name for the standardized testing at school, had a quick conference with Timmy, and decided that Son Abomination sounded good, “Since my dad calls your dad the Abomination anyway and we can paint it on your mailbox just like the Henderson’s did theirs!”. Antler Guy agreed and did a lovely rendition of it for the mailbox, with only a few glyphs of soul-rending terror added to keep up to snuff.) The Great Plant Exchange went beautifully, though the Audrey Jr. (named Aubergine for the lovely shade of purple poison that drips from her fangs) is on a diet at the moment. She was in cahoots with the cat and the dog to get into the good people food and ate two frozen turkeys all herself. Now she’s restricted to the hallway table to answer the phone and the door. (Steve actually likes her, and keeps slipping her hotdogs when Sharon isn’t looking. Their door-to-door salesman rates have dropped dramatically since she changed abodes.) Hell-wife has almost gotten the begonia to bloom and say it’s first words. The homeowner’s association just loves the Abominations. All paperwork stamped and dotted, in on time and in triplicate. Antler Guy likes filing, says it reminds him of his old job. There is a resident who spent 20 years as a lawyer and they have long, animated conversations about all sorts of things that make Steve swear to never need legal counsel. Hell-wife joined the PTA and spearheaded a committee to fundraise in the fall with a haunted house. It was a county-wide hit, though the claims that a particularly rowdy group had been deliberately lost in a timeslip to the Outer Doors Of Chaos was firmly rebuffed. Most young people nowadays, it was agreed, just couldn’t appreciate flute music. Antler Guy really does try to connect with Steve. The surprise birthday party was perhaps a bit much, given that most participants do not have the ability to suddenly materialize in front of the guest of honor to give them a hug. Sharon assured them that Steve normally screams on his birthday, and the remains of the cake were heartily enjoyed by all. (A plate was saved for Steve once he came down from the treehouse.) After the Hawaii trip (which was a present for his birthday) and the Matching Shirt Ultimatum (which was Sharon’s attempt at patching things up with Antler Guy, he really was sad about the birthday screaming), Steve finally grabs his courage in both hands (plus the shotgun, which let’s face it is about as useful as a teddybear at the moment but it does comfort him) and confronts Antler Guy, about why such a group of……Abominations could possibly come to his quiet slice of suburban bliss. “……BUT NEIGHBOR STEVE, WE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN HERE.” “No no no, I read it in a book! Don’t you have to be invited or something?!” “WELL YES, TO THE HUMAN WORLD. BUT THIS IS NOT THE HUMAN WORLD AS YOUR THREE-DIMENSIONAL BRAIN PERCEIVES IT.” “What the hell does that mean?!!” “DID YOU NOT KNOW, NEIGHBOR STEVE? LEGALLY SPEAKING, ALL OF THE VASTNESS OF HUMAN SUBURBIA IS, IN FACT, A PART OF HELL.” “……..” “THE FLAMINGOES ARE THE BOUNDARY MARKERS. IT WAS DECIDED THAT THE FLAMING SKULLS WERE TOO KITSCHY FOR MODERN TIMES.” Reblogging cause I kind of want more of this…. Since you asked nicely ^_^ Antler Guy, as one may have noticed, is a calm sort of fellow. In the face of human atrocities he displays a curious Zen sort of state of mind. Timmy asks Son if he’d ever seen his dad angry, and Son hasn’t. (When asked, Timmy says that yeah his dad gets mad, but it’s like the Fitz-Simmon’s chihuahua down the street- mostly high-pitched noise and occasionally TV remote chewing. Sharon replaces the poor thing every 3 months or so.) When pressed (gently, at the monthly book club, and with many cups of tea and at least one daiquiri), Hellwife admits that this comes from serving many years at his old job. After the revelation of the nature of his neighborhood, Steve has not been overtly mean to Antler Guy. Not yet in the realm of friends, but vastly better than before. No more holy water, no more shotgun blasts. (Still the occasional jumpscare, but Antler Guy really can’t help that part.) They even occasionally share news over the fence as Antler Guy trains the creeping deathshade vines in proper oral hygiene, and Steve waters his lawn (and occasionally slips a goldfish cracker to a deathshade vine that looks particularly adorable. Aubergine has trained him well.) Which is how Antler Guy learns about the peeping tom that’s been plaguing the adjacent streets. Apparently the pervert has been getting bolder, and rattling doors. He almost broke into one apartment, whose occupants were a single mother and her daughter, Mildred. Millie, a shy girl who is a great horror fan and firm friends with Timmy and Son, had missed school because of it. Steve knew because Sharon had told him, on her way to deliver a tuna casserole and a double batch of brownies to the pair. (Sharon has been dubbed the unoffical mob boss of the Mother’s Mafia. She is quite pleased with this title.) He tells her to wait, confers briefly with Aubergine, and sends her along with, “Only as a loan, you know, but Auby wants to stretch her roots and she’d probably like getting all ribboned and curled anyway. Little girls still do that, right?” She has strict orders to bite anyone that makes Millie or her mother cry. (Steve is dubbed the official neighborhood marshmallow for this. The bookclub buys him a jar of marshmallow fluff in commemoration.) He turns to look at Antler Guy, and freezes, much as a chihuahua will when faced with a hungry hellhound. “You….you alright there buddy?” “Ň̵̴̫̫̙͙̻̞͈̫̥̪̱͈͈̯̍̀̀͆ͫ̒̿̄͗͘͡͝ͅO̊͑̑͒̎͑̃ͬͭͮ̅̔̆̃̉ͯ̇͗̀҉̵̻̜̞͉̟͙͚̻̪̼̖̀͟ͅ.̵͈̣͈̙̣̜̻̭̩̝̠̞͗ͤͥ̓͗ͬ̓̄͊̓̅̐ͩͮͧͤ̽̐ “ “Uh, yeah, I guess not. Did you, uh, know you’re kinda fuzzing at the edges, there?” “Ň̵̴̫̫̙͙̻̞͈̫̥̪̱͈͈̯̍̀̀͆ͫ̒̿̄͗͘͡͝ͅO̊͑̑͒̎͑̃ͬͭͮ̅̔̆̃̉ͯ̇͗̀҉̵̻̜̞͉̟͙͚̻̪̼̖̀͟ͅ.̵͈̣͈̙̣̜̻̭̩̝̠̞͗ͤͥ̓͗ͬ̓̄͊̓̅̐ͩͮͧͤ̽̐ “ “Right. Um. Well.” Steven makes a very ungraceful exit when space starts bending around Antler Guy’s still, unmoving form. When Steve sees a shadowy form in his back yard when he gets up to pee that night, there’s no hesitation. He grabs the shotgun from the cabinet and peeks out the back door window. Just in time to see a nebulous form of soul-wrenching terror engulf the man reaching for the door handle. A sliver of moonlight reveals a very familiar eyesocket. After a moment (and a sincere prayer of thanks that he had already peed, cause otherwise he’d have done it then and there) Steve opens the door. The nebulous form freezes, reality bending around the edges. “Nice night for it, huh?” “…..Y̮̮͍͔͇͙͙̟̐͌͛̓̏͞͡Eͩͭͮ̓̍ͯ̀ͧ͏̵̴̛̺̠̱͕̕ͅS͈̹̮̟̳̪̩̘͍̤̲̻͈̱̳̽̋́ͩ̃͋̎ͩ̈͆̀͘͢͢͟ͅ.̧̢͈̭̝̥̦͚͍̇ͫ̃̓͆̿̇ͪ͊ͧ̃͛͌͜͢ “ “Guy won’t scare anymore litttle girls, will he?” “Ň̵̴̫̫̙͙̻̞͈̫̥̪̱͈͈̯̍̀̀͆ͫ̒̿̄͗͘͡͝ͅO̊͑̑͒̎͑̃ͬͭͮ̅̔̆̃̉ͯ̇͗̀҉̵̻̜̞͉̟͙͚̻̪̼̖̀͟ͅ.̵͈̣͈̙̣̜̻̭̩̝̠̞͗ͤͥ̓͗ͬ̓̄͊̓̅̐ͩͮͧͤ̽̐ “ “Good. G’night then. Oh, and if Hellwife has an extra Audrey Jr. that needs a home, let me know. Millie likes Aubergine a lot but Augy’s just too big for the apartment. Dunno if they come in miniatures though.” “ I̴̛̟̭͉̮̜̩̬̮̣̘̰͚̩͙̟̳͔̜̙͑̂̆̆͗͒̀ ͖̖̰͉̥͖͔̙̤̺͍̳͈̹͙̣̞̇̇ͤ͒̅̈́͆̽ͧ́̚̚̕͘W̶̶̱͈̞͖̼̟̣̮̌͂͒̈́͑͌͒͋̍ͮ͗̈ͣ̓ͤ͘͟I̴̶̞̥̩͇̔ͩͦ̇̉̾ͣͬ̀̀̒͒ͧ͛͌͛͆̚͘͢ͅͅL̠̟͕̠̟̪̰̻ͯ͂͊ͥ̍̏͋̐ͬ̉̆̈̀͠L̸̞̭͔̮ͦ͑̉ͮͩ́ͬͨͣ͘͜.̴͈͎̮͇͓͖̱̻̣͊͊ͤͩ͊̑͗͞ ̸̡̩̖̞̩̻̩̪̭͙̳͚͇̟̺͖̑͊ͫ̀͆ͨ̉̔̓̂̓̋T̷̷̟͉̟̻̻̪̞̰̯̻͈̣̰̬̻̾͐́ͭ̓̅́͡H͇̬̪̩̬̝̣͍͈͇ͯ͛̏͌ͮͧͭͦ͟͜A̴̴̤͕͈̤̮̞̱̯͔͕̙͔͖̰̬̰͈̠ͥ̏ͥ̍̽ͧ̀͝N͗̓͋̃̈̑̀̅ͣ̽̒̂̄ͯͩͤ͏̢͢͏͈̯͎̪͇̟̠͔̯͓͓̰̠̱̠̳͕̳͝K̢̓ͧ͛͛ͣ̄̓̓ͯ̍̈̈́̌͂̔͟҉̛̘̥̖̤̦̻̳͙͟ ̢̢̻̥̹̣̞͉̘͇͚͍̖̯̘͚͔̗̩͓͐ͮ͂͂̀̚͘͠Y̜̞͇̳̗̬͎̰̙̜̩̪͎̞̙̠̔͂̌̃́̀O͇̺̲͙͍̬̳̘͈̱̜̝͔̖̊ͥ̿ͫͤͫͫͩ͋̓̃ͦ̈̄͢͟Ū̢͖̲̦̠̤͎̙͉̦͖̖͓͍̺̺ͪͯ͐͆͆ͭͯ͗ͦ̄̅̌̈̃̾ͭ̋ͧ͢͢͠͡.̶̸̞͓̞̹̗̻̣͈͕̠̬̦ͫ̆ͤͬͨͦ͒͂ͨ̿ͩͪ͘͞.ͧ͛̒̂̂͗ͨ̌͆ͥͭ͒̉͘͜͏̙͖̰̝̙̲͓̙͕͍̥̳̩́͠.̶̷̮͎̱̼̬͖̰͎͚͙̥̓͋͋ͦ̓̓ͯ͆͛̏ͫ̅ͯ.̨̧̙̤̳̮̺̙͖̞͔̗͎͍̑̆ͮ͐ͩͦ̌̽̾̏͘͠.̹̖͕̮͕̞̰͍͚͖̌ͪ̃̐̐̌̌̅̉͑ͧͪͪͬ̓͐́͛̿͘͞ ….NEIGHBOR STEVE.” “Anytime.” There are no more peeping reports. Millie brings back Aubergine and spends an entire afternoon teaching Steve the particulars of Augy’s new “hairstyle” (a gravity-defying mass of teased tendrils, ribbons, and barrettes) in between games of tag and hide-and-seek with Timmy and Son. When Antler Guy and Hellwife present her and her mother Beatrice with a tiny Audrey Jr. (”pOOr ThinG Is a ruNT And wOn’T geT MorE Than A FooT taLL, BEa, aNd NeeDS a New FRiEnD”, assures Hellwife), both mother and child burst out crying. Millie names it Bella, after Bella Lugosi, and shows it to the excited group of boys (Steve and Augy included). IT GOT SO MUCH BETTER!!!! Life in a subdivision partly populated with eldritch and possibly magical (officially classified as “extra-dimensional”, for even when faced with the physics-defying nature of their new co-habitating citizens the government cannot bring itself to acknowledge them as “magic wielding hell-beasts”, as some high-ranking staff members initially suggested) goes on fairly normally. Sure, there are a few hiccoughs. The creeping deathshade vines get a stern talking to about appropriate afternoon snacks (”NOT the Fitz-Simmon’s chihuahua, I don’t care how much he has it coming or what he excreted where, now spit it out!”), Aubergine sheds all her leaves at once and snowballs the house (but does helps sweep up afterwards), and moonrise is a good time to watch the night-gaunts fly by (but on moondark it’s best to stay inside, no matter how prettily they glow. They’re somewhat similar to fireflies, and don’t always check to see if their partner glows as well. It wouldn’t be as much of a problem if they didn’t dive mid-coitus and drop just above the ground.) While the neighborhood in general is accepting of the Abominations, when things get to be a bit much they tend to come to Steve. Since meeting Beatrice and Millie (and the formation of the Terrifying Triad known as Millie, Son, and Timmy) Steve is the adult human male most comfortable dealing with Antler Guy on the whole street. (Sharon as U.M.B. is widely held to have, well, steel-whatever-the-hell-she-wants, and Timmy is known to run over to Antler Guy and ask for rides through “that wobbly grey place, you know, the one with the REALLY BIG alligators?”. Still, the courtesies must be observed.) So when a writhing sparking ball of snarling terror and teeth takes up residence in the Manzo’s tool-shed, and when Animal Control refuses to come (the street is banned due to a run-in with the deathshade vines), Steve is called. Having heard the description, Steve brings Antler Guy. When they get there, Mr. Manzo is forcibly holding the door shut. Unholy yowling is coming from inside. At a gesture from Antler Guy, Mr. Manzo leaps away, and the doors blast open. A 150 pound ball of whimpering, flaming something hits Steve and knocks him on his ass. The whimpering, flaming something proceeds to slobber all over Steve, his shirt, his pants, and a decent portion of grass in between distressed yelps. “GACK!” “NEIGHBOR STEVE, ARE YOU IN DISTRESS?” “GAAACKLEARGHSPLUH- DOWN boy, HEEL, that’s a good- Antler Guy, what is this?!” “I BELIEVE IT IS A HELLHOUND, NEIGHBOR STEVE.” “Good grief, I didn’t know they came this big and…..and….. Guy?” “YES NEIGHBOR STEVE?” “Is he supposed to be…..skinless?” “YES NEIGHBOR STEVE. THIS VARIETY WAS BRED TO BE LAP DOGS. THEIR FLAME IS MOSTLY WITHOUT HEAT, AND THEY HAVE NO SKIN FOR THOSE WHO ARE ALLERGIC.” “…….laPDOG?!” “YES NEIGHBOR STEVE.” Antler Guy lays a hand on the hellhound, who tries to burrow further into Steve with little success. “HE APPEARS TO HAVE BEEN RECENTLY WEANED. IT WILL TAKE TIME FOR HIM TO GROW TO HIS FULL SIZE.” “……” “THE SMALL BREEDS GROW MORE SLOWLY.” A vile hissing emanates from the shed. (Mr. Manzo has long since fled for the safety of his kitchen.) As Steve attempts to calm the frantic hell-puppy, Antler Guy investigates. He reaches one long hand in behind the riding lawnmower and….. winces. “NEIGHBOR STEVE?” “Yeah- I’m right here, uh, doggie, not going anywhere- Guy?” “I APPEAR TO HAVE AN…. ATTACHMENT.” Steve is awed at the tiny ball of white fluff attached to one long, thin finger. He didn’t know that Antler Guy’s fingers COULD be bitten, much less by a tiny kitten. Which is how Steve and Sharon got Clifford (”Aww c’mon Sharon, how could I pass that one up?”), and Antler Guy and Hellwife get Fluffy (”NEIGHBOR STEVE ASSURES ME IT IS A TRADITIONAL TITLE.”) This might be the most amazing thing that ever crossed my tumblr dash OMIGOSH I’m in love. I LOVE EVERY BIT OF THIS This is like the stoplight post. It is Tumblr legend, and I feel I must reblog it for those fortunate few who get to experience it for the first time.: bibliotecaria-d: ebonykain: karacat: othersideofforty: erinnightwalker: ripped-up-jeans-and-glitter: erinnightwalker: acaffeinejunkie: erinnightwalker: erinnightwalker: geostatonary: sixpenceee: “A house I pass on the way to work has this sculpture in its yard. Its about 8 feet tall.” (Source) “HELLO NEIGHBOR STEVE, I WOULD LIKE TO INVITE YOU TO BARBEQUE ON THE EVE OF THE BLOOD MOON.  I FEEL WE GOT OFF TO A BAD START.” “NEIGHBOR STEVE, DO YOU NOT WISH TO PARTAKE OF THE UNCLEAN FLESH-MEATS OF PIGS AND THE POLLUTED ESSENCES OF TOMATO?  PERHAPS YOU ARE A CAROLINA STYLE MAN, NEIGHBOR STEVE?” “PUT THE GUN AWAY NEIGHBOR STEVE, YOU KNOW I SHALL ONLY RISE AGAIN WITH THE DAWNING OF THE MOON.  WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH THIS MANY TIMES.” “LOOK AT THIS PICTURE MY SON DREW OF YOU AND CHILD TIMMY, YOUR SON.  ARE THEY NOT THE PICTURE OF PACT-MATES?  THIS COULD BE YOU AND ME, NEIGHBOR STEVE.” “YOU MISSED THE UNHOLY NEXUS OF POWER THAT IS THE KEY TO MY CORPOREAL FORM, NEIGHBOR STEVE.  YOU WILL NEED TO RELOAD NOW, SO I WILL GO INSIDE TO MY HELL-WIFE AND PUT YOU DOWN AS A SOLID ‘MAYBE’.“ I have the feeling that the families get along great except for Steve. Like, the wives are baking (questionable) brownies together, the kids are playing together, Antler Guy occasionally takes Son and Timmy to school (no car, just carries them in huge swinging strides through a nexus of ungoldly sights in a swirling netherworld shortcut. Sometimes they stop for McDonalds). Hell-wife gave them a potted Audrey Jr., Steve’s wife (who I now christen Sharon) gave them a begonia. One time Steve tries throwing holy water but all Antler Guy does is thank him, saying that no, Antler Guy isn’t Catholic but it’s the thought that counts, he is so kind to water his creeping deathshade vines regardless. For Christmas Antler Guy gives Steve a case of ammunition. To be funny/sarcastically mean Steve gets Antler Guy the world’s most hideous Christmas sweater, singing light-up reindeer included. He immediately regrets it because not only does Antler Guy love it and wears it for several months, it will never need batteries because Antler Guy powers it with his own eldritch aura. When they come back from a holiday to Hawaii, Steve is horrified to find out Sharon bought them matching Hawaiian shirts. He is even more horrified that his wife means it that if he doesn’t wear it he will forever sleep on the couch. I want to expand on this, since I see it’s still passing around and the ideas have grown in my brainmeats. What drives Steve up the wall and down the other side is how… normal… everyone treats the Abominations. (Yes, that is their last name. No, it is not a joke. Son was asked his last name for the standardized testing at school, had a quick conference with Timmy, and decided that Son Abomination sounded good, “Since my dad calls your dad the Abomination anyway and we can paint it on your mailbox just like the Henderson’s did theirs!”. Antler Guy agreed and did a lovely rendition of it for the mailbox, with only a few glyphs of soul-rending terror added to keep up to snuff.) The Great Plant Exchange went beautifully, though the Audrey Jr. (named Aubergine for the lovely shade of purple poison that drips from her fangs) is on a diet at the moment. She was in cahoots with the cat and the dog to get into the good people food and ate two frozen turkeys all herself. Now she’s restricted to the hallway table to answer the phone and the door. (Steve actually likes her, and keeps slipping her hotdogs when Sharon isn’t looking. Their door-to-door salesman rates have dropped dramatically since she changed abodes.) Hell-wife has almost gotten the begonia to bloom and say it’s first words. The homeowner’s association just loves the Abominations. All paperwork stamped and dotted, in on time and in triplicate. Antler Guy likes filing, says it reminds him of his old job. There is a resident who spent 20 years as a lawyer and they have long, animated conversations about all sorts of things that make Steve swear to never need legal counsel. Hell-wife joined the PTA and spearheaded a committee to fundraise in the fall with a haunted house. It was a county-wide hit, though the claims that a particularly rowdy group had been deliberately lost in a timeslip to the Outer Doors Of Chaos was firmly rebuffed. Most young people nowadays, it was agreed, just couldn’t appreciate flute music. Antler Guy really does try to connect with Steve. The surprise birthday party was perhaps a bit much, given that most participants do not have the ability to suddenly materialize in front of the guest of honor to give them a hug. Sharon assured them that Steve normally screams on his birthday, and the remains of the cake were heartily enjoyed by all. (A plate was saved for Steve once he came down from the treehouse.) After the Hawaii trip (which was a present for his birthday) and the Matching Shirt Ultimatum (which was Sharon’s attempt at patching things up with Antler Guy, he really was sad about the birthday screaming), Steve finally grabs his courage in both hands (plus the shotgun, which let’s face it is about as useful as a teddybear at the moment but it does comfort him) and confronts Antler Guy, about why such a group of……Abominations could possibly come to his quiet slice of suburban bliss. “……BUT NEIGHBOR STEVE, WE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN HERE.” “No no no, I read it in a book! Don’t you have to be invited or something?!” “WELL YES, TO THE HUMAN WORLD. BUT THIS IS NOT THE HUMAN WORLD AS YOUR THREE-DIMENSIONAL BRAIN PERCEIVES IT.” “What the hell does that mean?!!” “DID YOU NOT KNOW, NEIGHBOR STEVE? LEGALLY SPEAKING, ALL OF THE VASTNESS OF HUMAN SUBURBIA IS, IN FACT, A PART OF HELL.” “……..” “THE FLAMINGOES ARE THE BOUNDARY MARKERS. IT WAS DECIDED THAT THE FLAMING SKULLS WERE TOO KITSCHY FOR MODERN TIMES.” Reblogging cause I kind of want more of this…. Since you asked nicely ^_^ Antler Guy, as one may have noticed, is a calm sort of fellow. In the face of human atrocities he displays a curious Zen sort of state of mind. Timmy asks Son if he’d ever seen his dad angry, and Son hasn’t. (When asked, Timmy says that yeah his dad gets mad, but it’s like the Fitz-Simmon’s chihuahua down the street- mostly high-pitched noise and occasionally TV remote chewing. Sharon replaces the poor thing every 3 months or so.) When pressed (gently, at the monthly book club, and with many cups of tea and at least one daiquiri), Hellwife admits that this comes from serving many years at his old job. After the revelation of the nature of his neighborhood, Steve has not been overtly mean to Antler Guy. Not yet in the realm of friends, but vastly better than before. No more holy water, no more shotgun blasts. (Still the occasional jumpscare, but Antler Guy really can’t help that part.) They even occasionally share news over the fence as Antler Guy trains the creeping deathshade vines in proper oral hygiene, and Steve waters his lawn (and occasionally slips a goldfish cracker to a deathshade vine that looks particularly adorable. Aubergine has trained him well.) Which is how Antler Guy learns about the peeping tom that’s been plaguing the adjacent streets. Apparently the pervert has been getting bolder, and rattling doors. He almost broke into one apartment, whose occupants were a single mother and her daughter, Mildred. Millie, a shy girl who is a great horror fan and firm friends with Timmy and Son, had missed school because of it. Steve knew because Sharon had told him, on her way to deliver a tuna casserole and a double batch of brownies to the pair. (Sharon has been dubbed the unoffical mob boss of the Mother’s Mafia. She is quite pleased with this title.) He tells her to wait, confers briefly with Aubergine, and sends her along with, “Only as a loan, you know, but Auby wants to stretch her roots and she’d probably like getting all ribboned and curled anyway. Little girls still do that, right?” She has strict orders to bite anyone that makes Millie or her mother cry. (Steve is dubbed the official neighborhood marshmallow for this. The bookclub buys him a jar of marshmallow fluff in commemoration.) He turns to look at Antler Guy, and freezes, much as a chihuahua will when faced with a hungry hellhound. “You….you alright there buddy?” “Ň̵̴̫̫̙͙̻̞͈̫̥̪̱͈͈̯̍̀̀͆ͫ̒̿̄͗͘͡͝ͅO̊͑̑͒̎͑̃ͬͭͮ̅̔̆̃̉ͯ̇͗̀҉̵̻̜̞͉̟͙͚̻̪̼̖̀͟ͅ.̵͈̣͈̙̣̜̻̭̩̝̠̞͗ͤͥ̓͗ͬ̓̄͊̓̅̐ͩͮͧͤ̽̐ “ “Uh, yeah, I guess not. Did you, uh, know you’re kinda fuzzing at the edges, there?” “Ň̵̴̫̫̙͙̻̞͈̫̥̪̱͈͈̯̍̀̀͆ͫ̒̿̄͗͘͡͝ͅO̊͑̑͒̎͑̃ͬͭͮ̅̔̆̃̉ͯ̇͗̀҉̵̻̜̞͉̟͙͚̻̪̼̖̀͟ͅ.̵͈̣͈̙̣̜̻̭̩̝̠̞͗ͤͥ̓͗ͬ̓̄͊̓̅̐ͩͮͧͤ̽̐ “ “Right. Um. Well.” Steven makes a very ungraceful exit when space starts bending around Antler Guy’s still, unmoving form. When Steve sees a shadowy form in his back yard when he gets up to pee that night, there’s no hesitation. He grabs the shotgun from the cabinet and peeks out the back door window. Just in time to see a nebulous form of soul-wrenching terror engulf the man reaching for the door handle. A sliver of moonlight reveals a very familiar eyesocket. After a moment (and a sincere prayer of thanks that he had already peed, cause otherwise he’d have done it then and there) Steve opens the door. The nebulous form freezes, reality bending around the edges. “Nice night for it, huh?” “…..Y̮̮͍͔͇͙͙̟̐͌͛̓̏͞͡Eͩͭͮ̓̍ͯ̀ͧ͏̵̴̛̺̠̱͕̕ͅS͈̹̮̟̳̪̩̘͍̤̲̻͈̱̳̽̋́ͩ̃͋̎ͩ̈͆̀͘͢͢͟ͅ.̧̢͈̭̝̥̦͚͍̇ͫ̃̓͆̿̇ͪ͊ͧ̃͛͌͜͢ “ “Guy won’t scare anymore litttle girls, will he?” “Ň̵̴̫̫̙͙̻̞͈̫̥̪̱͈͈̯̍̀̀͆ͫ̒̿̄͗͘͡͝ͅO̊͑̑͒̎͑̃ͬͭͮ̅̔̆̃̉ͯ̇͗̀҉̵̻̜̞͉̟͙͚̻̪̼̖̀͟ͅ.̵͈̣͈̙̣̜̻̭̩̝̠̞͗ͤͥ̓͗ͬ̓̄͊̓̅̐ͩͮͧͤ̽̐ “ “Good. G’night then. Oh, and if Hellwife has an extra Audrey Jr. that needs a home, let me know. Millie likes Aubergine a lot but Augy’s just too big for the apartment. Dunno if they come in miniatures though.” “ I̴̛̟̭͉̮̜̩̬̮̣̘̰͚̩͙̟̳͔̜̙͑̂̆̆͗͒̀ ͖̖̰͉̥͖͔̙̤̺͍̳͈̹͙̣̞̇̇ͤ͒̅̈́͆̽ͧ́̚̚̕͘W̶̶̱͈̞͖̼̟̣̮̌͂͒̈́͑͌͒͋̍ͮ͗̈ͣ̓ͤ͘͟I̴̶̞̥̩͇̔ͩͦ̇̉̾ͣͬ̀̀̒͒ͧ͛͌͛͆̚͘͢ͅͅL̠̟͕̠̟̪̰̻ͯ͂͊ͥ̍̏͋̐ͬ̉̆̈̀͠L̸̞̭͔̮ͦ͑̉ͮͩ́ͬͨͣ͘͜.̴͈͎̮͇͓͖̱̻̣͊͊ͤͩ͊̑͗͞ ̸̡̩̖̞̩̻̩̪̭͙̳͚͇̟̺͖̑͊ͫ̀͆ͨ̉̔̓̂̓̋T̷̷̟͉̟̻̻̪̞̰̯̻͈̣̰̬̻̾͐́ͭ̓̅́͡H͇̬̪̩̬̝̣͍͈͇ͯ͛̏͌ͮͧͭͦ͟͜A̴̴̤͕͈̤̮̞̱̯͔͕̙͔͖̰̬̰͈̠ͥ̏ͥ̍̽ͧ̀͝N͗̓͋̃̈̑̀̅ͣ̽̒̂̄ͯͩͤ͏̢͢͏͈̯͎̪͇̟̠͔̯͓͓̰̠̱̠̳͕̳͝K̢̓ͧ͛͛ͣ̄̓̓ͯ̍̈̈́̌͂̔͟҉̛̘̥̖̤̦̻̳͙͟ ̢̢̻̥̹̣̞͉̘͇͚͍̖̯̘͚͔̗̩͓͐ͮ͂͂̀̚͘͠Y̜̞͇̳̗̬͎̰̙̜̩̪͎̞̙̠̔͂̌̃́̀O͇̺̲͙͍̬̳̘͈̱̜̝͔̖̊ͥ̿ͫͤͫͫͩ͋̓̃ͦ̈̄͢͟Ū̢͖̲̦̠̤͎̙͉̦͖̖͓͍̺̺ͪͯ͐͆͆ͭͯ͗ͦ̄̅̌̈̃̾ͭ̋ͧ͢͢͠͡.̶̸̞͓̞̹̗̻̣͈͕̠̬̦ͫ̆ͤͬͨͦ͒͂ͨ̿ͩͪ͘͞.ͧ͛̒̂̂͗ͨ̌͆ͥͭ͒̉͘͜͏̙͖̰̝̙̲͓̙͕͍̥̳̩́͠.̶̷̮͎̱̼̬͖̰͎͚͙̥̓͋͋ͦ̓̓ͯ͆͛̏ͫ̅ͯ.̨̧̙̤̳̮̺̙͖̞͔̗͎͍̑̆ͮ͐ͩͦ̌̽̾̏͘͠.̹̖͕̮͕̞̰͍͚͖̌ͪ̃̐̐̌̌̅̉͑ͧͪͪͬ̓͐́͛̿͘͞ ….NEIGHBOR STEVE.” “Anytime.” There are no more peeping reports. Millie brings back Aubergine and spends an entire afternoon teaching Steve the particulars of Augy’s new “hairstyle” (a gravity-defying mass of teased tendrils, ribbons, and barrettes) in between games of tag and hide-and-seek with Timmy and Son. When Antler Guy and Hellwife present her and her mother Beatrice with a tiny Audrey Jr. (”pOOr ThinG Is a ruNT And wOn’T geT MorE Than A FooT taLL, BEa, aNd NeeDS a New FRiEnD”, assures Hellwife), both mother and child burst out crying. Millie names it Bella, after Bella Lugosi, and shows it to the excited group of boys (Steve and Augy included). IT GOT SO MUCH BETTER!!!! Life in a subdivision partly populated with eldritch and possibly magical (officially classified as “extra-dimensional”, for even when faced with the physics-defying nature of their new co-habitating citizens the government cannot bring itself to acknowledge them as “magic wielding hell-beasts”, as some high-ranking staff members initially suggested) goes on fairly normally. Sure, there are a few hiccoughs. The creeping deathshade vines get a stern talking to about appropriate afternoon snacks (”NOT the Fitz-Simmon’s chihuahua, I don’t care how much he has it coming or what he excreted where, now spit it out!”), Aubergine sheds all her leaves at once and snowballs the house (but does helps sweep up afterwards), and moonrise is a good time to watch the night-gaunts fly by (but on moondark it’s best to stay inside, no matter how prettily they glow. They’re somewhat similar to fireflies, and don’t always check to see if their partner glows as well. It wouldn’t be as much of a problem if they didn’t dive mid-coitus and drop just above the ground.) While the neighborhood in general is accepting of the Abominations, when things get to be a bit much they tend to come to Steve. Since meeting Beatrice and Millie (and the formation of the Terrifying Triad known as Millie, Son, and Timmy) Steve is the adult human male most comfortable dealing with Antler Guy on the whole street. (Sharon as U.M.B. is widely held to have, well, steel-whatever-the-hell-she-wants, and Timmy is known to run over to Antler Guy and ask for rides through “that wobbly grey place, you know, the one with the REALLY BIG alligators?”. Still, the courtesies must be observed.) So when a writhing sparking ball of snarling terror and teeth takes up residence in the Manzo’s tool-shed, and when Animal Control refuses to come (the street is banned due to a run-in with the deathshade vines), Steve is called. Having heard the description, Steve brings Antler Guy. When they get there, Mr. Manzo is forcibly holding the door shut. Unholy yowling is coming from inside. At a gesture from Antler Guy, Mr. Manzo leaps away, and the doors blast open. A 150 pound ball of whimpering, flaming something hits Steve and knocks him on his ass. The whimpering, flaming something proceeds to slobber all over Steve, his shirt, his pants, and a decent portion of grass in between distressed yelps. “GACK!” “NEIGHBOR STEVE, ARE YOU IN DISTRESS?” “GAAACKLEARGHSPLUH- DOWN boy, HEEL, that’s a good- Antler Guy, what is this?!” “I BELIEVE IT IS A HELLHOUND, NEIGHBOR STEVE.” “Good grief, I didn’t know they came this big and…..and….. Guy?” “YES NEIGHBOR STEVE?” “Is he supposed to be…..skinless?” “YES NEIGHBOR STEVE. THIS VARIETY WAS BRED TO BE LAP DOGS. THEIR FLAME IS MOSTLY WITHOUT HEAT, AND THEY HAVE NO SKIN FOR THOSE WHO ARE ALLERGIC.” “…….laPDOG?!” “YES NEIGHBOR STEVE.” Antler Guy lays a hand on the hellhound, who tries to burrow further into Steve with little success. “HE APPEARS TO HAVE BEEN RECENTLY WEANED. IT WILL TAKE TIME FOR HIM TO GROW TO HIS FULL SIZE.” “……” “THE SMALL BREEDS GROW MORE SLOWLY.” A vile hissing emanates from the shed. (Mr. Manzo has long since fled for the safety of his kitchen.) As Steve attempts to calm the frantic hell-puppy, Antler Guy investigates. He reaches one long hand in behind the riding lawnmower and….. winces. “NEIGHBOR STEVE?” “Yeah- I’m right here, uh, doggie, not going anywhere- Guy?” “I APPEAR TO HAVE AN…. ATTACHMENT.” Steve is awed at the tiny ball of white fluff attached to one long, thin finger. He didn’t know that Antler Guy’s fingers COULD be bitten, much less by a tiny kitten. Which is how Steve and Sharon got Clifford (”Aww c’mon Sharon, how could I pass that one up?”), and Antler Guy and Hellwife get Fluffy (”NEIGHBOR STEVE ASSURES ME IT IS A TRADITIONAL TITLE.”) This might be the most amazing thing that ever crossed my tumblr dash OMIGOSH I’m in love. I LOVE EVERY BIT OF THIS This is like the stoplight post. It is Tumblr legend, and I feel I must reblog it for those fortunate few who get to experience it for the first time.
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An English teacher, uncensored: Actual Quotes from my Dad (An English Teacher) Dad: Why the hell did vou put a comma there? Dad: Do you even know what a participial phrase is? Dad: Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time Dad: Who should 1 dress up as for the movie premier? Dad: Hey are you awake? 1 know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. 1 need you to read this report. 1 can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit. Dad: Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for doesn't care. 1 hate her Dad: 1 need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet. her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she Dad: Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know 1 don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math. Dad: Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today Dad: Mrs. Ashworth and 1 have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations. Dad: It's like you didn't read the fucking book. Dad: Okay. So this week you're reading this book 1 stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it. Dad: "puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that 1 read them* Dad: My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society You aren't my son. Leave Dad: Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all 1 can afford, so ... Dad: Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass. Dad:I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know Dad: Fuck the government Dad: Fuck the school board. Dad: Close the door Dad: Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and 1 hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha, DICKens. Dad:I love puns. Dad: People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes Dad: Please shut up Dad: Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird Dad: I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music Dad: fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of Austria-Hungary today and 1 almost told her to get out. Dad: You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there Dad: Barbra Parks is fucking Queen. Dad: I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too Dad: If1 have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, 1 will kill them both. Dad: They act like 1 care what they think. Dad: I hate homework. Dad: 1 have decided to become a politician. Dad: What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed. JAN VIA THISISANATATTACK "I TEACH SO MANY ALESHAS SO MANY 399a2NOTE An English teacher, uncensored
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How to tell if any of your neighbors are werewolves: authorbettyadams tumbl Follow themagdalenwriting marzo2theletter Let Me Talk About Werewolves for a Second Why is it that every werewolf book is this weird testosterone fueled alpha male/female romance thing? Like guys. Werewolves are family groups. They are basically big ol dog families Your werewolf family wouldn't be made up of alpha males fighting each other for dominance and subjugating females If there was a werewolf in your neighborhood, they'd be that family of 10 kids always roughhousing outside and their house is the one all the neighborhood kids go to hang out at because Mr. Werewolf and Mrs. Werewolf are the Cool Parents that their kids find really embarrassing avatar-dacia Wait...Emily? Aren't she and her whole family...you know? "Don't believe everything you've heard, worst thing that's ever happened over there is the twins teething on visitors' shoes." prokopet Here's the thing, though While the notion of the "alpha wolf" is indeed misguided, being based on observations of wolves in captivity, the dominance thing does happen. And it's not just the adult males, adult females do it too - but it's only a thing when wolves who aren't related by blood end up sharing a habitat. So consider: by some happenstance, two unrelated werewolf families end up living across the street from one another. Of course they're not going to stat brawling in the streets - they're civilised people, after all - but that urge to show the other pack who's boss comes out in other ways, resulting in the two clans getting, like, weirdly competitive about everything Imagine the Hallowe'en displays avatar-dacia "Wow...the Phelans and Ochoas both really went all-out with the decorations Are those real bones?" That's just how they are, they'll find absolutely any excuse to showboat at each other like that. And they're definitely real-right down to the toothmarks authorbettyadams Something to think about though: Do you know what would be for all intents and purposes the *EXACT CIRCUMSTANCE* where wolves are shown to display the classic Alpha/Beta dominance behavior? ie A bunch of unrelated (usually unmated') young adults forced into close proximity in competition for unnaturally distributed resources? Where their actions are being observed and controlled by impartial" and ignorant authorities? Where they are forced to be at crowded events when their "cycles" are flaring up? SCHOOL Regular public school, college, even and especially boarding school meet all the criteria to force young, undeveloped werewolves into an intensely unhealthy situation Of course the parents would know this, they would take steps to ensure their children were not stressed out. Conclusions: Werewolves are homeschoolers That big, rowdy family whose science projects make the local news, who only shows up at school to ace the standardized testing once a year, who spends weeks at a time out on family hunting trips, whose innumerable uncles and aunts are always dropping in with food. Those are the werewolves Source:marzopup #extended family #werewolves #1fe #homeschool #homeschooling #school #study #science 49,857 notes How to tell if any of your neighbors are werewolves

How to tell if any of your neighbors are werewolves

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Ryan Coogler and Michael B. Jordan Looking to Bring The Story of Mansa Musa to Life-blogged by @thereal__bee ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ With the success of their first three projects: “Fruitvale Station,” “Creed” and “Black Panther”, super Director Ryan Coogler and Hollywood Star Michael B. Jordan are already teaming up for more projects. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ According to multiple reports, the duo is now looking to start a project centered around the life of Mansa Musa. Both Coogler and Jordan feel it is important to create influential films that reflect the Black community and the contributions that have been made throughout history. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ “You got to tell stories in today, or in the future,” says Jordan. “Or can we go back even further? There’s always one period that people want to go back to, but can we go back to Hannibal? Or Mansa Musa, destroying economies as he traveled? Can we go back to the Egyptians?” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Mansa Musa was an influential African ruler in the fourteenth century. He was emperor of the Mali Empire, a land filled with gold, which he casually handed out during his religious expedition to Mecca, ultimately causing economic crises to cities that were unfamiliar with such wealth. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ In 1324, Musa became the first Muslim ruler to trek almost four-thousand-miles. During his travels, he encountered rulers of the Middle East and Europe, which helped to put Mali on European maps. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ He helped improve Islamic education and he also brought back government bureaucrats and architects. With the development of mosques and a major university, the city of Timbuktu became more urbanized. Musa ruled for 25 years and during that time, Western Africa was said to be at peace. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ While there is no word on when this project will take off, the duo is already in pre-production for another film titled “Wrong Answer,” about a 2006 standardized testing scandal in Atlanta. The sequel to “Creed” is also on the way.: Ryan Coogler and Michael B Jordan Looking to Bring The Story of Mansa Musa to Life @balleralert Ryan Coogler and Michael B. Jordan Looking to Bring The Story of Mansa Musa to Life-blogged by @thereal__bee ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ With the success of their first three projects: “Fruitvale Station,” “Creed” and “Black Panther”, super Director Ryan Coogler and Hollywood Star Michael B. Jordan are already teaming up for more projects. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ According to multiple reports, the duo is now looking to start a project centered around the life of Mansa Musa. Both Coogler and Jordan feel it is important to create influential films that reflect the Black community and the contributions that have been made throughout history. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ “You got to tell stories in today, or in the future,” says Jordan. “Or can we go back even further? There’s always one period that people want to go back to, but can we go back to Hannibal? Or Mansa Musa, destroying economies as he traveled? Can we go back to the Egyptians?” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Mansa Musa was an influential African ruler in the fourteenth century. He was emperor of the Mali Empire, a land filled with gold, which he casually handed out during his religious expedition to Mecca, ultimately causing economic crises to cities that were unfamiliar with such wealth. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ In 1324, Musa became the first Muslim ruler to trek almost four-thousand-miles. During his travels, he encountered rulers of the Middle East and Europe, which helped to put Mali on European maps. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ He helped improve Islamic education and he also brought back government bureaucrats and architects. With the development of mosques and a major university, the city of Timbuktu became more urbanized. Musa ruled for 25 years and during that time, Western Africa was said to be at peace. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ While there is no word on when this project will take off, the duo is already in pre-production for another film titled “Wrong Answer,” about a 2006 standardized testing scandal in Atlanta. The sequel to “Creed” is also on the way.

Ryan Coogler and Michael B. Jordan Looking to Bring The Story of Mansa Musa to Life-blogged by @thereal__bee ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ With the succes...

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This is also Ontario's system (cause each province has a slightly different school system). I love learning, but I have started to care less about that and more about just passing the courses, which is sad.: Students: Hey, so at this point a lot of students would rather break their own legs than go to school because of the immense workload placed on us in the form of increased standardized testing and out of school work. It is remarkably frustrating and stressful to students, and causes a strain on our mental health Parents Hey, so our children are extremely overworked and we have noticed a huge increase in time spent on homework rather than things that kids should be doing like socializing and naturally forming interests that could lead them to possible career choices Teachers The state curriculum is becoming more demanding requiring our students to learn more in less time, all while increasing the number and freguency of standardized tests (giving us even less time to teach important material). This makes us sad, because we want to share knowledge with students, but are forced to give them large amounts of homework to make up for lost time in the classroom. The U.S. educational system: So what you're telling me you want more test ILS Source: thegroceries This is also Ontario's system (cause each province has a slightly different school system). I love learning, but I have started to care less about that and more about just passing the courses, which is sad.

This is also Ontario's system (cause each province has a slightly different school system). I love learning, but I have started to care l...

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studentsofphilosophy: Always have faith in a philosophy major for their standardized testing abilities It’s as if studying logic and reason makes one smarter …. Haha: Mean GMAT Score by Intended Major (2009-10) * Intended Major Mathematics 2 Physics 3 Engineering 4 Philosophy 5 Economics 6 Computer Science 7 Operations Management/Production 7 Government Actuarial Science 10 History 11 Art History 12 Anthropology 13 Chemistry 14 Biological Sciences 14 Statistics 16 English 17 Political Science 18 Finance 18 Languages 20 Architecture 21 Law 22 Information Systems Technology 23 Psychology 24 International Business 24 Medicine/Nursing 26 Journalism 27 Accounting 27 Business Education 29 Sociology 30 Fine Arts 31 Management 32 Hotel Administration 33 Agriculture 34 Marketing 35 Education Score 608 2,273 604 593 587 583 581 578 578 924 28,563 696 19,733 8,564 2,026 658 548 2,358 577 574 571 569 567 563 563 560 556 331 399 1,350 3,784 433 3,084 4,795 28,299 555 555 2,173 986 545 541 536 533 528 528 1,924 6,424 3,547 6,816 1,164 1,578 29,465 6,848 1,466 981 18,284 1,605 490 522 520 520 519 504 503 500 495 493 13,341 656 482 *Data from The 2010 Profile of Graduate Management Admission Test Candidates by the Graduate Management Admissions Council. Standard deviations not available. Mean LSAT Scores by Major (2007-2008)* LSAT Intended Major Score 1 Physics/Math 2 Philosophy/Theology 2 Economics 160.0 577 2,581 157.4 157.4 3,047 4 International Relations 5 Engineering 6 Government/Service 6 Chemistry 8 History 9 Interdisciplinary Studies 10 Foreign Languages 11 English 12 Biology/Natural Sciences 156.5 156.2 156.1 156.1 1,520 2,197 578 632 4,169 652 1,084 5,899 155.9 155.5 155.3 155.2 154.8 2,201 1,438 13 Arts 154.1 14 Computer Science 15 Finance 16 Political Science 682 154.0 2,267 15,181 153.4 153.1 17 Psychology 18 Liberal Arts 152.5 4,355 3,892 808 152.4 19 Anthropology/Geography 20 Accounting 152.2 151.7 1,439 21 Journalism 3,408 151.5 22 Sociology/Social Work 23 Marketing 24 Business Management 25 Education 26 Business Administration 151.2 3,123 150.8 1,574 4,629 484 1,984 149.7 149.4 149.1 27 Health Profesions 28 Prelaw 148.4 148.3 146.0 703 1,078 29 Criminal Justice 4,016 * Data from Michael Nieswiadomy, 'LSAT Scores of Economics Majors: The 2008-2009 Class Update', Journal of Economic Education (forthcoming). THE POWER OF PHILOSOPHY GRE SCORES BY INTENDED GRADUATE MAJOR, 2011-12 Verbal (Average score out of 170) Analytical Writing (Average score out of 6) Quantitative (Average score out of 170) Philosophy 159 Philosophy 4.4 161 160 Physics 157 Economics English 4.3 English 158 4.2 156 Computer Science Political Science Political Science 4.0 156 157 Chemistry Physics Physics Philosophy 4.0 153 154 Economics Psychology 153 4.0 Biology Biology 153 Economics Biology 3.9 153 152 Chemistry Business 151 3.9 152 Political Science Chemistry Psychology 3.9 148 English Education 151 Education 3.9 Communications Education 148 Communications 151 148 3.7 150 Psychology Business Business Communications 147 149 Computer Science 3.4 Computer Science Source: Educalional Testing Sorvice; data avallable at httrwaw.ats.oralsinrsdodicon adda takletadi studentsofphilosophy: Always have faith in a philosophy major for their standardized testing abilities It’s as if studying logic and reason makes one smarter …. Haha

studentsofphilosophy: Always have faith in a philosophy major for their standardized testing abilities It’s as if studying logic and r...

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<p><a href="http://theonion.tumblr.com/post/118712309363/pros-every-student-measured-against-same-narrow" class="tumblr_blog">theonion</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><b>PROS</b><br/></p><ul><li>Every student measured against same narrow, irrelevant set of standards<br/></li><li>Holds teachers personally accountable for success of large, monolithic testing organizations</li></ul><p><b>CONS</b><br/></p><ul><li>There are easier ways to measure parents’ income<br/></li><li>Takes up time that could be used to teach toward additional standardized tests</li></ul><p><a href="http://www.theonion.com/graphic/pros-and-cons-standardized-testing-50388">More</a>.</p></blockquote>: Pros And Cons Of Standardized Testing the ONION <p><a href="http://theonion.tumblr.com/post/118712309363/pros-every-student-measured-against-same-narrow" class="tumblr_blog">theonion</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><b>PROS</b><br/></p><ul><li>Every student measured against same narrow, irrelevant set of standards<br/></li><li>Holds teachers personally accountable for success of large, monolithic testing organizations</li></ul><p><b>CONS</b><br/></p><ul><li>There are easier ways to measure parents’ income<br/></li><li>Takes up time that could be used to teach toward additional standardized tests</li></ul><p><a href="http://www.theonion.com/graphic/pros-and-cons-standardized-testing-50388">More</a>.</p></blockquote>

<p><a href="http://theonion.tumblr.com/post/118712309363/pros-every-student-measured-against-same-narrow" class="tumblr_blog">theonion</a...

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ianthe: Hundreds of Chicago Students Walk Out of Standardized Test Hundreds of Chicago students are taking up the mantle in the fight against the role of standardized tests in public school closures as they walked out of a state exam Wednesday. Their message: “We are over-tested, under-resourced and fed up!” Over 300 students from over 25 different Chicago public schools boycotted the second day of a state-wide standardized test. Ahead of a school board meeting, at which the demonstrators were banned from speaking, the students rallied outside the district headquarters carrying placards and forming a human chain. “We’re just trying to make a statement that tests should not determine our future or the future of our schools,” said student organizer Alexssa Moore, a senior at Lindblom High School. Brian Sturgis, senior at Paul Robesan High School and boycott organizer with the group Chicago Students Organizing to Save Our Schools (CSOSOS), declared in an op-ed “We are Chicago students and we are here to save our schools!” He writes: Mayor Emanuel and his Board of Education want to close 54 grammar schools around the city, all of which are in black and Latino communities: this is racist. These schools are also being judged based on assessments and tests given throughout the year: this is foolish. These school closings will leave neighborhoods dismantled, parents lost, students unaccounted for, and more importantly, will put children in harmful situations: this is dangerous. Sturgis explains that Mayor Emanuel and the Board of Education are putting too much pressure on standardized testing and threatening to close schools that don’t have high test scores. When schools are under so much pressure to raise test scores it leads to low-scoring students being neglected, not supported. This is what happened when 68 low-scoring juniors were demoted to sophomore status at a southwest side high school in Chicago last month, right before the state test. The student boycott follows a protest earlier this month, Occupy the Department of Education, during which teachers and education activists descended on the Capitol to draw attention to the rampant privatization of public schools and the rash of recent school closures. In February, a nationwide day of action led by the Seattle school teachers’ boycott of a standardized test brought this issue to national attention. : ThE BEST WAY FOR ME TO DEMONSTRATE WHAT I'VE LEARNED IS THROUGH A STAVDARI ZE D TE ST!" SAID NO CHILO EVER! ianthe: Hundreds of Chicago Students Walk Out of Standardized Test Hundreds of Chicago students are taking up the mantle in the fight against the role of standardized tests in public school closures as they walked out of a state exam Wednesday. Their message: “We are over-tested, under-resourced and fed up!” Over 300 students from over 25 different Chicago public schools boycotted the second day of a state-wide standardized test. Ahead of a school board meeting, at which the demonstrators were banned from speaking, the students rallied outside the district headquarters carrying placards and forming a human chain. “We’re just trying to make a statement that tests should not determine our future or the future of our schools,” said student organizer Alexssa Moore, a senior at Lindblom High School. Brian Sturgis, senior at Paul Robesan High School and boycott organizer with the group Chicago Students Organizing to Save Our Schools (CSOSOS), declared in an op-ed “We are Chicago students and we are here to save our schools!” He writes: Mayor Emanuel and his Board of Education want to close 54 grammar schools around the city, all of which are in black and Latino communities: this is racist. These schools are also being judged based on assessments and tests given throughout the year: this is foolish. These school closings will leave neighborhoods dismantled, parents lost, students unaccounted for, and more importantly, will put children in harmful situations: this is dangerous. Sturgis explains that Mayor Emanuel and the Board of Education are putting too much pressure on standardized testing and threatening to close schools that don’t have high test scores. When schools are under so much pressure to raise test scores it leads to low-scoring students being neglected, not supported. This is what happened when 68 low-scoring juniors were demoted to sophomore status at a southwest side high school in Chicago last month, right before the state test. The student boycott follows a protest earlier this month, Occupy the Department of Education, during which teachers and education activists descended on the Capitol to draw attention to the rampant privatization of public schools and the rash of recent school closures. In February, a nationwide day of action led by the Seattle school teachers’ boycott of a standardized test brought this issue to national attention.

ianthe: Hundreds of Chicago Students Walk Out of Standardized Test Hundreds of Chicago students are taking up the mantle in the fight ag...

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