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feniczoroark: hereiticmadlad: the-mighty-birdy: celticpyro: gallusrostromegalus: randomencounters: thvndermag: www.instagram.com/ondrejzunka Encounter: a Tutchi-Fili, a curious but largely harmless aberration that enjoys collecting rare and exotic textures. If threatened or startled, it defends itself by making a grapple attack and delivering an attack as Vampiric Touch, except instead of necrotic damage it deals Psychic. It can also use Cleansing Touch on itself or others. It’s the saxophone music that really makes this. Tentacles would’ve been less disturbing. Zygote (2017) I am ready to dish out as many high fives as this dude needs. @randomnightlord WHAT SLAANESHI BULLSHIT IS THIS BEFORE MY VERY EYES. BY CURZE BRING THE FLAMER. THE HEAVY FLAMER. : 5 feniczoroark: hereiticmadlad: the-mighty-birdy: celticpyro: gallusrostromegalus: randomencounters: thvndermag: www.instagram.com/ondrejzunka Encounter: a Tutchi-Fili, a curious but largely harmless aberration that enjoys collecting rare and exotic textures. If threatened or startled, it defends itself by making a grapple attack and delivering an attack as Vampiric Touch, except instead of necrotic damage it deals Psychic. It can also use Cleansing Touch on itself or others. It’s the saxophone music that really makes this. Tentacles would’ve been less disturbing. Zygote (2017) I am ready to dish out as many high fives as this dude needs. @randomnightlord WHAT SLAANESHI BULLSHIT IS THIS BEFORE MY VERY EYES. BY CURZE BRING THE FLAMER. THE HEAVY FLAMER.
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positive-memes:Bed time stories: Insomnia Adventures u/Oceanundertow Be me, sleep deprived DM, half an hour ago Get startled by phone ringing It's one of my players Me: "Dude, it's midnight, you good?" Friend: "Yeah yeah, sorry if I woke you. Could I ask for a favor?" OhGodHeKilledSomeone.gif Me: "Uh, sure? Shoot." Friend: "My daughter can't sleep, could you tell a quick story over speakerphone? She loves listening to the recordings of our sessions before bed, but I left my laptop at the office so I can't play them." NaniTheFuck.mp3 Me: "She listens to us to fall asleep?" Friend: "Yeah, but she really likes your plot and NPC acting bits. She calls you 'dumb dumb mister. Guess Dungeon Master is a bit hard for a preschooler." Me: "Wow...well, if it will help her sleep, then sure." Friend: "Thank you! Okay, give me a sec to head back to her room." (pause) "Okay, you're on speaker." Me: "Hey, [daughters name], it's uncle Anon." Daughter: (Happy gasp) "Dumb dumb Mister!" I'veNeverBeenHappierToBeCalledADumbDumb.jpg Me: "You ready for a story about...(DM IMPROV SKILLS ENGAGE)..the time your daddy and his friends went deep into a cursed temple to save a frost dragon egg?" Daughter: (Incomprehensible happy squealing noises) I then proceed to spend nearly 20 min spitballing a story over the phone for the most fascinated little girl until she eventually fell asleep. Friend thanks me for the help and says he'll see me on game night. Lay down in bed, actually feel content and comfortable for once. I should have thanked him I am the dumb dumb mister. positive-memes:Bed time stories
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startled: Insomnia Adventures u/Oceanundertow Be me, sleep deprived DM, half an hour ago Get startled by phone ringing It's one of my players Me: "Dude, it's midnight, you good?" Friend: "Yeah yeah, sorry if I woke you. Could I ask for a favor?" OhGodHeKilledSomeone.gif Me: "Uh, sure? Shoot." Friend: "My daughter can't sleep, could you tell a quick story over speakerphone? She loves listening to the recordings of our sessions before bed, but I left my laptop at the office so I can't play them. NaniTheFuck.mp3 Me: "She listens to us to fall asleep? Friend: "Yeah, but she really likes your plot and NPC acting bits. She calls you 'dumb dumb mister. Guess Dungeon Master is a bit hard for a preschooler." Me: "Wow...well, if it will help her sleep, then sure." Friend: "Thank you! Okay, give me a sec to head back to her room." (pause) "Okay, you're on speaker." Me: "Hey, [daughters name], it's uncle Anon." Daughter: (Happy gasp) "Dumb dumb Mister!" I'veNeverBeenHappierToBeCalledADumbDumb.jpg Me: "You ready for a story about...(DM IMPROV SKILLS ENGAGE)..the time your daddy and his friends went deep into a cursed temple to save a frost dragon egg? Daughter: (Incomprehensible happy squealing noises) I then proceed to spend nearly 20 min spitballing a story over the phone for the most fascinated little girl until she eventually fell asleep. Friend thanks me for the help and says he'll see me on game night. Lay down in bed, actually feel content and comfortable for once. I should have thanked him I am the dumb dumb mister
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Bed time stories: Insomnia Adventures u/Oceanundertow Be me, sleep deprived DM, half an hour ago Get startled by phone ringing It's one of my players Me: "Dude, it's midnight, you good?" Friend: "Yeah yeah, sorry if I woke you. Could I ask for a favor?" OhGodHeKilledSomeone.gif Me: "Uh, sure? Shoot." Friend: "My daughter can't sleep, could you tell a quick story over speakerphone? She loves listening to the recordings of our sessions before bed, but I left my laptop at the office so I can't play them." NaniTheFuck.mp3 Me: "She listens to us to fall asleep?" Friend: "Yeah, but she really likes your plot and NPC acting bits. She calls you 'dumb dumb mister. Guess Dungeon Master is a bit hard for a preschooler." Me: "Wow...well, if it will help her sleep, then sure." Friend: "Thank you! Okay, give me a sec to head back to her room." (pause) "Okay, you're on speaker." Me: "Hey, [daughters name], it's uncle Anon." Daughter: (Happy gasp) "Dumb dumb Mister!" I'veNeverBeenHappierToBeCalledADumbDumb.jpg Me: "You ready for a story about...(DM IMPROV SKILLS ENGAGE)..the time your daddy and his friends went deep into a cursed temple to save a frost dragon egg?" Daughter: (Incomprehensible happy squealing noises) I then proceed to spend nearly 20 min spitballing a story over the phone for the most fascinated little girl until she eventually fell asleep. Friend thanks me for the help and says he'll see me on game night. Lay down in bed, actually feel content and comfortable for once. I should have thanked him I am the dumb dumb mister. Bed time stories
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The Plane Had a Hard Time Flying Straight After That: Don't fly me, It has been reported that an employee for Ansett Australia (Airlines), who happened to have the last name of Gay, got on a plane recently using the company's 'Free Flight' offer for staff. However, when Mr Gay tried to take his seat, he found it being occupied by a fare paying passenger. So, not to make a fuss, he simply chose another seat. Unknown to Mr Gay another Ansett flight at the airport experienced mechanical problems. The passengers of this flight were being re-routed to various other airplanes A few were put on Mr Gay's flight and anyone who was holding a free ticket was being 'bumped. Ansett officials, armed with a list of these freebee' ticket holders boarded the plane, as is the practise, to remove them in favour of fare paying passengers. Of course, our Mr Gay was not sitting in his assigned seat as you may remember. So when the Ticket Agent approached the seat where Mr Gay was supposed to be sitting, she asked a startled customer "Are you gay?" The man, shyly nodded that he was, at which point she demanded: "Then you have to get off the plane." Mr Gay, overhearing what the Agent had said, tried to clear up the situation: "You've got the wrong man. I'm Gay!" This caused an angry third passenger to yell "Hell! I'm gay too! They can't kick us all off! Confusion reined as more and more passengers began yelling that Ansett had no right to remove gays from their flights. New York Times The Plane Had a Hard Time Flying Straight After That

The Plane Had a Hard Time Flying Straight After That

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simonalkenmayer: ceoolsson: americaninfographic: Cat Behavior a lot of people tend to confuse cats showing their belly for belly rubs, but it’s actually only something dogs do, for cats its a sign of respect and trust, they are not expecting to get pet, so when they do it’s not uncommon they get startled or think its play fight, of course there are expectations and some cats who ADORES belly rubs Nothing explains cats. Tumblr stop trying to make a liar out of me.: CAT BEHAvioURS ExplAiNED CATS FACES 2) CAT WITH EARS UPRIGHT, SITTING UP AND ALERT 1) CAT WITH EARS 3) CAT WITH EARS FLAT BACK, EYES WIDE OPEN FORWARD Im pleased to see you.If you hold outyour handImight give it a mlistening intently. Was it a bird bump to say hello (or a sniffifIoramouse?Im not sure but Im Im feeling scared or anxious am shy) offtofindout CATS NOISES MIAOW! PURRRR! MYIP!MYIP! 4) PURR 5) CHIRRUP /MIAOW HellolWelcome home! Is my dinnerready yet? 6) CHATTERING AT THE WINDOW I purr because of most things (dinner strokes, sitting in sunshine but mainly because youúve given me some form of I've spottedpreyoutside the window but I dont think Ican catch it contact andI like it. CATs PoSTURES 7) CAT WITH BACK HUNCHED UP AND TAIL AND FUR ON END, 8) CAT SHOWING YOU ITS BEHIND 9) CAT ROLLING ON BACK TO EXPOSE STOMACH GROWLING OR HISSINC Dont be offended Im just being friendly We cats say hello toeach Itrust you but watchyour fingers Im being defensive.lim puffing other by sniffing tails, just like ifyou decide to give me a tickle,I dogs. my hair out to make myselflook bigger so whatever Im scaredof leaves me alone. might be in the mood to play. Why DoEs My CAT Do THAr? 10) CAT BRINGING A CIFT 12) CAT KNEADING 11) CAT RUBBING AGAINST A TABLE / PERSON Imgetting comfy, kneading you is just like needing mymum. Im trying to teach you howto hunt.See what a goodhunter am. This is my home andIscent things to find mywayaround. 13) CAT IN A BoX / BAG 14) MONORAIL CAT CAT 15) CAT FACE, SHOWING WITH NO LEGS This might look silly to you, but it makes me feel safe-Ican seeyou but you cant seeme! SLOW CLOSING OF EYES WHILST MAKING EYE CONTACT Im happy and relaxed You could call this mysphinx loaforeven monorail position. Youre getting akiss.Ifyou copy me, Imightjust do it again.Iflam in the mood Sainsbury's Bank simonalkenmayer: ceoolsson: americaninfographic: Cat Behavior a lot of people tend to confuse cats showing their belly for belly rubs, but it’s actually only something dogs do, for cats its a sign of respect and trust, they are not expecting to get pet, so when they do it’s not uncommon they get startled or think its play fight, of course there are expectations and some cats who ADORES belly rubs Nothing explains cats. Tumblr stop trying to make a liar out of me.

simonalkenmayer: ceoolsson: americaninfographic: Cat Behavior a lot of people tend to confuse cats showing their belly for belly rub...

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legitimatelala: lokiwtf: gallizfrey: anneriawings: siphersaysstuff: honey-andrevolution: sashayed: silvermoon424: poppypicklesticks: billybatsonandjameshowlettsbro: cosmicallycosmopolitan: billybatsonandjameshowlettsbro: james-winston: The Titanoboa, is a 48ft long snake dating from around 60-58million years ago. It had a rib cage 2ft wide, allowing it to eat whole crocodiles, and surrounding the ribcage were muscles so powerful that it could crush a rhino. Titanoboa was so big it couldn’t even spend long amounts of time on land, because the force of gravity acting on it would cause it to suffocate under its own weight. I’m so glad they aren’t around omg me too. I’m scared enough of 26 ft long anacondas. I’m so happy Megalodons, those giant sharks, aren’t alive either Praise natural selection I remember watching Walking with Beasts or something similar, or some British tv show about evolution The subject was something like a 12 foot long water scorpion I was so startled by its sudden appearance and narration that I yelped: “12 fucking feet?!?!  I’m fucking glad it’s extinct!”  Dude, prehistory was home to some fucking TERRIFYING creatures. For some reason, everything back then was enormous and scary. Extinction doesn’t always have to be a bad thing! And Poppy, what you saw was an arthropod known as Pterygotus (it was actually featured in Walking With Monsters). Not only was it as big (or maybe even bigger) than your average human, it had a stinger the size of a lightbulb. REALLY glad that bugger isn’t around anymore. Also, Megalodon deserves to be mention again, because just hearing its name makes me want to never be submerged in water ever again. GOD, I HATE THIS POST. HOW DO WE EVEN KNOW THAT SHIT ISN’T STILL AROUND? LURKING? EVOLVING? WE DON’T. WE DON’T KNOW SHIT ABOUT SHIT DOWN THERE. THE OCEAN IS A PRIMEVAL HELLSCAPE NIGHTMARE AND WE ALL JUST DIP OUR STUPID FRAGILE UNPROTECTED FETUS BODIES AROUND THE EDGES OF IT LIKE THAT’S NORMAL. FUCK THE OCEAN. this is so relevant to my interests  It wasn’t just the predators. North Carolina was once home to giant ground sloths… THAT IS A GODDAMNED LEAF-EATING SLOTH. We’ve got a skeleton of one of these fuckers at the museum downtown, and man, just being NEAR it is unsettling. DON’T FORGET PREHISTORIC WHALES, SOME OF THOSE FUCKERS WERE TERRIFYING AMBULOCETUS WAS AMPHIBIOUS AND PRETTY BADASS BASILOSAURUS WAS THIS GIANT REPTILIAN CETACEAN THAT PROBABLY SWAM LIKE A DUMB EEL BECAUSE OF ITS TINY FLUKES BUT THIS FUCKER WAS 60 FEET LONG AND AT THE TOP OF THE MARINE FOOD CHAIN AND THEN THERE’S MY FAVORITE, ZYGOPHYSETER, WHICH WAS THIS HUGE EARLY SPERM WHALE THAT ATE SHARKS AND OTHER WHALES IT WAS NOTHING BUT TEETH The reason why the animals in the prehistoric times were so big was because there was much more oxygen in the atmosphere if I recall correctly. Because there was so much oxygen and so few carbon gasses, life on earth was able to grow to terrifying lengths and heights, don’t forget how giant the bugs were. I have never seen so much prime nope in a single post *Goes on Tumblr at 5am to help me go back to sleep for a bit longer* *Never sleeps again* Dammit I was born to late for all the fun: mithsonian smithchan.com/monsters nake CHANNELmanstersrake 02012 SNUSI Networks LL.C. All rights reserved Smithson legitimatelala: lokiwtf: gallizfrey: anneriawings: siphersaysstuff: honey-andrevolution: sashayed: silvermoon424: poppypicklesticks: billybatsonandjameshowlettsbro: cosmicallycosmopolitan: billybatsonandjameshowlettsbro: james-winston: The Titanoboa, is a 48ft long snake dating from around 60-58million years ago. It had a rib cage 2ft wide, allowing it to eat whole crocodiles, and surrounding the ribcage were muscles so powerful that it could crush a rhino. Titanoboa was so big it couldn’t even spend long amounts of time on land, because the force of gravity acting on it would cause it to suffocate under its own weight. I’m so glad they aren’t around omg me too. I’m scared enough of 26 ft long anacondas. I’m so happy Megalodons, those giant sharks, aren’t alive either Praise natural selection I remember watching Walking with Beasts or something similar, or some British tv show about evolution The subject was something like a 12 foot long water scorpion I was so startled by its sudden appearance and narration that I yelped: “12 fucking feet?!?!  I’m fucking glad it’s extinct!”  Dude, prehistory was home to some fucking TERRIFYING creatures. For some reason, everything back then was enormous and scary. Extinction doesn’t always have to be a bad thing! And Poppy, what you saw was an arthropod known as Pterygotus (it was actually featured in Walking With Monsters). Not only was it as big (or maybe even bigger) than your average human, it had a stinger the size of a lightbulb. REALLY glad that bugger isn’t around anymore. Also, Megalodon deserves to be mention again, because just hearing its name makes me want to never be submerged in water ever again. GOD, I HATE THIS POST. HOW DO WE EVEN KNOW THAT SHIT ISN’T STILL AROUND? LURKING? EVOLVING? WE DON’T. WE DON’T KNOW SHIT ABOUT SHIT DOWN THERE. THE OCEAN IS A PRIMEVAL HELLSCAPE NIGHTMARE AND WE ALL JUST DIP OUR STUPID FRAGILE UNPROTECTED FETUS BODIES AROUND THE EDGES OF IT LIKE THAT’S NORMAL. FUCK THE OCEAN. this is so relevant to my interests  It wasn’t just the predators. North Carolina was once home to giant ground sloths… THAT IS A GODDAMNED LEAF-EATING SLOTH. We’ve got a skeleton of one of these fuckers at the museum downtown, and man, just being NEAR it is unsettling. DON’T FORGET PREHISTORIC WHALES, SOME OF THOSE FUCKERS WERE TERRIFYING AMBULOCETUS WAS AMPHIBIOUS AND PRETTY BADASS BASILOSAURUS WAS THIS GIANT REPTILIAN CETACEAN THAT PROBABLY SWAM LIKE A DUMB EEL BECAUSE OF ITS TINY FLUKES BUT THIS FUCKER WAS 60 FEET LONG AND AT THE TOP OF THE MARINE FOOD CHAIN AND THEN THERE’S MY FAVORITE, ZYGOPHYSETER, WHICH WAS THIS HUGE EARLY SPERM WHALE THAT ATE SHARKS AND OTHER WHALES IT WAS NOTHING BUT TEETH The reason why the animals in the prehistoric times were so big was because there was much more oxygen in the atmosphere if I recall correctly. Because there was so much oxygen and so few carbon gasses, life on earth was able to grow to terrifying lengths and heights, don’t forget how giant the bugs were. I have never seen so much prime nope in a single post *Goes on Tumblr at 5am to help me go back to sleep for a bit longer* *Never sleeps again* Dammit I was born to late for all the fun
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