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El Chapo, Joaquín Guzmán, and Memes: ELCHAPO MISTRESS FLIPS ON HIM IN COURT, EXPOSES SECRETS OF HIS NAKED ESCAPE THROUGH MEXICAN SEWER AS WIFE LISTENS @Fap El Chapo’s mistress testified against him in court and spoke about the time El Chapo escaped from the authorities using an underground sewer tunnel.⁣⁣ -⁣⁣ The mistress stated that she was in bed with Chapo at 3AM on Feb. 16, 2014, when she was suddenly woken up by loud noises,⁣⁣ -⁣⁣ “I heard, like, a lot of thumps and helicopters. I heard yelling,” she recalled. Which was a U.S team and Mexican forces trying to break in the house.⁣⁣ -⁣⁣ “They’re on us! They’re on us!” Chapo’s associate Carlos Manuel (Condor) Hoo Ramirez yelled as Chapo, whose real name is Joaquín Guzmán Loera, started running around in a panic, Sánchez said.⁣⁣ - -⁣ ⁣ She also stated that Chapo was completely naked through all of this,⁣ ⁣ “There was like a lid on the bathtub that came up,” Sánchez testified. “I was like, ‘Do I have to go in there?…The entire tub was hollow underneath…It had a kind of a hydraulic (lift) — they call it a piston.”⁣ ⁣ “The first thing I saw was wooden steps,” she said. “I heard (Chapo) say to Condor, ‘Close up the tub.’”⁣ -⁣ Sánchez said “complete darkness” swallowed them once the hatch was closed.⁣ ⁣ “For me, it was horrible because I had never been in a place like that. It was a humid place with mud,” she told the jury.⁣ -⁣ RapTVSTAFF: @thatkidcm

El Chapo’s mistress testified against him in court and spoke about the time El Chapo escaped from the authorities using an underground sewer...

Arguing, Bless Up, and Dogs: My daughter was nervous around dogs, and then she met this guy. He let her love all over him for 20 minutes and then afterwards, her fear was gone. Thank you, sweet boy, for making her into the dog lover that she is! GIBBS NEW YORKERS ARE WILD FAM 😂. They will argue about anything. It’s both a sport and a hobby. In the rest of the country people burn calories by wearing a Fitbit and measuring steps. Nah. New Yorkers will just argue with u until they thin 😂. I love it. I’m not saying they ain’t wonderful people! To the contrary! They be nice as HELL to me! They just love to argue. FOR EXAMPLE. Me: “fam I love getting food off the Halal carts.” NY person: “oh word, son? Oh it’s like THAT my dude? Ayo...Could I ax u a question, son?” *ominous music plays (90s era Mobb Deep)* Me: “sure...(?)” NY person: “ayo son...could I ax u what halal cart u go to my dude?” Me: “ummm like around Greenwich and Murray...(?)” NY person: “son [pregnant pause] SON 😂. U can’t be serriyiss right now son. Is u wildin my dude? *whispering to friend in NY Yankees cap* son...is this dude wildin?” Friend (quietly): “I mean ... he wildin son.” (Everyone in NY got a yes-man with him who wear a yankee fitted real low and who don’t really argue, he just agree with what his friend say lol.) New York person: “ayo u mean...Like up by World Trade?” And I’m like: “I guess...(?)” NY person: “SON! HOW U AINT KNOW THESE THINGS SON? 😂 U gotta know which halal cart got that GOOD good and which one got that mid grade son! Ayo do me a favor son walk a extra couple blocks to Broadway u see a cart that say “HALAL CHICKEN GYROS” with “ONE DOLLAR SAMOSA”...UNDA DAT. U ask for Hakeem. Tell him Donnell sent u. Yeah. Donnell from one two fif. U gotta tell him the street because it’s two Donnells. Son he gon hook u up with the FIRE CHICKEN my dude. Quiet as it’s kept? Prime Minister of Pakistan eat at that cart my dude word is bond I seent him. He had mad security around him and I’m like oh he gotta be a digni-TERRY he ordered chicken biryani with salad son I said ayo get that red sauce too my son and he did my dude it was wild we ate togevva but I don’t tell that story often anyway I’m not sayin don’t eat at them carts u eat at son! I’m just sayin...I WOUL-INNT EAT THERE IF I WAS U. BUT U COULD DO WHAT U FEEL. BLESS UP.” 😂😂😍 [ALL CREDITS IN COMMENT BELOW.]

NEW YORKERS ARE WILD FAM 😂. They will argue about anything. It’s both a sport and a hobby. In the rest of the country people burn calories b...

Advice, Bless Up, and Christmas: Just happy to see you 2018-1 WE MADE IT, LOVE BUGS. I AM SO DAMN PROUD OF YALL. IT’S BASICALLY CHRISTMAS WHICH MEAN TOMORROW IS BASICALLY FERRUARY 😂. REMEMBER...DO *NOT* MAKE THE MISTAKE OF BEING TOO AMBITIOUS IN THE NEW YEAR AND SETTING TOO MANY GOALS U CANT MEET SO THAT U FEEL LIKE TRASH BY SUMMER. A WORD OF ADVICE FROM RAY DALLIO WHO FOUNDED THE MOST SUCCESSFUL HEDGE FUND IN HISTORY (Bridgewater). PULL OUT A SHEET OF PAPER. LIST THREE THINGS ABOUT YOURSELF YOU WANT TO CHANGE IN ONE COLUMN. IN THE COLUMN ON THE RIGHT OF THAT, LIST CONCRETE STEPS U WILL TAKE TO GET THERE. FORGET ABOUT MATERIAL GOALS “wanna move out of my house bc can’t stand my crazy a$$ mom” AYEEE ... I BEEN THERE 😂. INSTEAD, LIST “strained relationship with mom.” IN THE RIGHT COLUMN, LIST THINGS U MIGHT COULD DO TO FIX IT: “be patient. Listen when she wilds out and go full Kanye bipolar on me. Reassure her.” U FEEL ME? OR MAYBE “finally get healthy.” AND THEN STEPS: “cut out white sugar. Work out twice per week on Saturday and Sunday when I have no excuse not to.” ETC. U FEEL ME? DONT LIST MORE THAN 3. THEN KEEP THAT PAPER WITH YOU AND TRACK PROGRESS. AIGHT? I LOVE YALL. THE START OF A SOLAR YEAR IS HELLA ARBITRARY 😂. FAM... NOBODY USED TO TO EVEN CARE ABOUT THE SUN. PPL FOLLOWED THE MOVEMENT OF THE MOON WHICH IS FAR MORE CONSISTENT. DOESNT MATTER. WHAT MATTERS IS THAT U SET REASONABLE GOALS AND MAKE AND PLAN AND TRACK PROGRESS. I HAVE FAITH IN YALL!! BLESS UP ❤️ (Slide 4: u-FightingGoldenDevils. Slide 5: u-TimTheToothNinja. slide 6: SpecCRA. Slide 7: slide 7: PolishedPup. Slide 8: Jangos34. Slide 9: HonestRoutine.)