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outoftheframework: outoftheframework: so a little fun tidbit about me is that i write screenplays. i challenged myself to write one in fifteen minutes, unedited, and then post it. this is what happened. enjoy? so so so thankful and in awe to the response to this post. I love screenwriting and it would be my pleasure to provide you guys with more high quality work in the future, y’all make me so happy.thank you :): gotham city by meg INT. WAREHOUSE NIGHT The discordant SCREECH of a wooden chair's being dragged across a concrete floor echoes through the spacious yet deserted warehouse. The tinted lights are dim, some flickering without any discernible pattern. A heavy pair of boots stomp rhythmically as an man makes his way across the room, the chair firmly in his grip. The man, a nameless HENCHMAN type, is who someone with manners would refer to as "burly" or "built." He stops underneath the brightest light in the room, setting the chair down and revealing its occupant. He is wearing a golden "RR" symbol decorating his chest. Despite the sack covering his features, one can still make out his raven hair poking out of the burlap fabric. a uniform of sorts, with black and red details plus HENCHMAN (gruff) Seems like the Batman... is losing his touch RED ROBIN's head twitches underneath the sack. RED ROBIN (muffled) Do I look like Batman to you? The henchman circles the teen like a tiger stalking its prey, if that tiger had one too many antelope dinners. He forces out a deep and planned LAUGH HENCHMAN No, no, no. Much too small, you are Red Robin shifts in his seat. Inaudible muffling can be heard from underneath the sack. HENCHMAN (CONT'D) Shhh, little bird. You must save your breath! Air will get spare quite soon. Henchman LAUGHS again, but this time his voice horribly cracks. He COUGHS quickly, but the damage was done. Red Robin shifts in his seat once more in the following uncomfortable silence. HENCHMAN (CONT'D) So tell me- 2. Henchman tries to restore the tense atmosphere by slipping an obnoxiously sized syringe full of mysterious liquid out of a package hidden in his coat pocket. HENCHMAN (CONT'D) Where is the bat? My employer just wants to... chat. Red Robin drops his head to the side, effectively communicating a "bitch, please" without the spoken word. Henchman menacingly shakes his head as he stalks toward the teen HENCHMAN (CONT'D) I had a feeling you were the dumb robin A voice suddenly cuts through the heavy air. RED HOOD (from above) Damn right! The man drops the syringe in surprise, eliciting CRASH Red Robin perks up at the dialogue, using the hand that was supposedly tied to the splintering wooden chair to lift the sack from his head. a horrid RED ROBIN (yelling) I resent that! More bickering voices start to emerge from the darkened catwalk above the factory floor. The henchman stands stunned SPOILER Hey, don't say that! sensitive. He's ROBIN Weakest Robin, maybe. Getting himself kidnapped by this oaf? Disgraceful RED ROBIN (yelling) We literally planned this! It was your idea! Red Robin starts untying the ropes around his ankles. 3. ROBIN Maybe there's a reason you're always playing kidnapped! RED ROBIN (yelling) Because you guys are jerks? NIGHTWING Hey, I volunteered to be kidnapped this time! BATGIRL Oh, honey. We all know how that would play out. A communal GROAN emits from the batkids as they reminisce on the last time Dick volunteered to play kidnapped. RED HOOD I take it back, Wing's the dumb Robin NIGHTWING OKAY, first of all, not my fault- the fire was The batkids devolve into unintelligible BICKERING. To an outside observer, it would seem as Red Robin is yelling into darkness filled with disembodied voices. Henchman SPUTTERS, unable to form coherent words. HENCHMAN H-hey! You- You can't- ALL BATKIDS (yelling) Shut up! The henchman shuts his gaping mouth with the CLICK of his teeth HENCHΜΑΝ (talking to himself) I 'm not getting out of this, am 1? A pair of white eyes cut through the darkness behind him ΒΑΤΜAΝ No outoftheframework: outoftheframework: so a little fun tidbit about me is that i write screenplays. i challenged myself to write one in fifteen minutes, unedited, and then post it. this is what happened. enjoy? so so so thankful and in awe to the response to this post. I love screenwriting and it would be my pleasure to provide you guys with more high quality work in the future, y’all make me so happy.thank you :)
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srsfunny: Some Confessions Of The Working Class: Secret Confessions of the Working Class OTARGET I don't know how true it is for the other stores but at my Target the door alarm is always going off for various reasons (most of the time when we are pushing carts in), and we've come to ignore it and dont even look if it goes off BED BATH& BEYOND Bed Bath and Beyond accepts expired coupons don't throw them away. They also accept competitor coupons for specific items. And you can return ANYTHING without a receipt even if you did not buy it from a BBEB. (You'll only get a store credit.) DS If you ship something that has to be delivered at a certain time of day (for instance, next day air usually needs to be there by 10:30) check the delivery time. If it gets delivered 10 minutes late or later, you get your money back. So a 10:45 delivery is considered refundable Abercrombie & Fitch While some Abercrombie locations are equipped with spritzers of Fierce (the brand's signature cologne) built into the walls, many locations aren't, and the employees are required to walk around at hour intervals and liberally spray every product and surface with the stuff. I happened to be in a location that got the best of both worlds, as we bath had the spritzers and were encouraged to go on spray-runs throughout the day, lest everyone's nostrils not be assaulted with the odor within a five-store radius. I worked for the Ritz Carlton for a few years. In my orientation, the HR rep told everyone that each employee has a special allowance of $1,500 to make sure they can help the guests feel like their stay would be memorable. There was a story about a guest who last his Rolex and asked the front desk if they had seen it or one of the maids took it and complained a lot. When the guest finally left, the guy from the front desk went out and purchased the guest a new Rolex and was reimbursed fully by the Ritz. The guest was extra happy and is now returning to the same property every year You don't need to have a Sam's Club membership to buy the liquor. Just tell the door person you are there to buy booze and they won't need to see your membership card. You can also grab a few of the free food samples as you walk through the store if your conscience allows it. FedEx The people who actually handle your packages are more or less slave laborers. NO ONE cares if you packages says fragile or has special instructions. Most of the time the workers hate their jobs so much they throw your box on purpose or stomp on it to make it fit in the trailer. UNITED STATES POSTAL SERVICE As a mail carrier for USPS, I know that all of the clerks and carriers in my office handle packages marked as fragile very carefully because we are so concerned about keeping customers. Plus they pay us well enough that we actually do care about our jobs and tanera Everything at Panera Bread is microwaved. All soups and pastas come in frozen bags reheated for the customer. Pastries and breads come in "half-baked, bakers just slap on some frosting/fruit, and heat it up. It's all fast-food quality food, but with a good ear ee World Overnight cast member here. Please leave your cremated loved ones at home. Stop dumping them in Haunted Mansion. They just get vacuumed up and disposed of srsfunny: Some Confessions Of The Working Class

srsfunny: Some Confessions Of The Working Class

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hannawolfcross: theghostparty: pondermoofin: vaniirox: #i feel so bad when any guy or girl tries to date his daughter #because you show up at their door and her dad is fuckin’ Thor Look how badass he is while holding that baby  #I can imagine him using his Thor voice on her #like when she’s crying in the middle of the night #WHAT IS WRONG DAUGHTER OF MINE#DO YOU REQUIRE NOURISHMENT#WHY DOTH YOU TORMENT ME SO PRECIOUS ONE  But what if he used it on the guy who came to the door for his daughter? TELL ME, MIDGARDIAN. WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS TOWARDS MY DAUGHTER? I AM OBLIGED TO INFORM YOU NOW THAT ANY DISRESPECT TOWARDS HER SHALL SURELY END POORLY FOR YOU. WHOSOEVER DATETH MY DAUGHTER IF HE BE WORTHY SHALL POSSESS THE BLESSING OF THOR and watch when the time comes, he’ll just be like “Hey, mate, treat her good okay? Bring her back before eleven please. Drive safely.” I THINK WE HAVE TO WORRY MORE ABOUT HER GODFATHER, TOM LOKI HIDDLESTON TBH. #ohohohohohohohrhioehehehheheh i followed you in my car to make sure you paid for her dinner hehehehehehehehe #i’ll literally come into your house and kill you if you break her heart #hehehehehehee What the hell.This is the greatest post in the universe. jesus christ it’s updated Rebloggin for the comments. JFC Tumblr, I can’t take you anywhere. I love you ALL of you this shit just keeps getting better!!! Dear lord this girl is going to have the hardest time getting a boyfriend. The poor thing is going to come home, stomp up to her room, try to slam the door, but it’ll be impossible because Chris Hemsworth will effortlessly stop the door with his huge Norse God arm. And she’ll be like “DAD! YOU SCARED HIM AWAY!” “I DID NO SUCH THING, MY DEAREST DAUGHTER. I ONLY SPOKE TO HIM THE TRUEST TRUTH OF THE NINE REALMS.” “Oh my god, dad…” “HE HAD AN ILL LOOK ABOUT HIM, I LIKED IT NOT. YOU ARE DESERVING OF THE HIGHEST OF QUALITY IN MEN, NOT THE LIKES OF HIM. YOU HAVE A DUTY AS PRINCESS OF ASGARD TO MARRY WELL AND SERVE THE KINGDOM, AND I ALSO WISH THAT YOU MAY HAVE A HUSBAND WHO WILL TREAT YOU AS THE QUEEN YOU ARE.” “Dad… I’m not a queen! Stop it!” And then Tom Loki Hiddleston, her godfather, walks in and she’s like: “And YOU! YOU SCARED HIM, TOO!” “Oh, I did? My mistake. I overestimated the bravery of the young man, I fear.” “WELL DONE, BROTHER.” “Dad! Uncle Tom! SHUT UP! YOU’RE NOT EVEN REAL BROTHERS!” “I fear your daughter is saying hurtful things in her anger, she means them not, I think. Worry not, Thor, I had trouble with my children more than once…” “UNCLE TOM YOU DON’T HAVE ANY KIDS!” “BROTHER PERHAPS WE SHOULD LEAVE HER TO HER ANGER.” “No, wait! You guys have to stop doing this, I’m never going to get a boyfriend if you keep doing this!” “Oh, alright. We shall never again berate or intimidate the young men whom you present to us. I promise.” “UNCLE TOM STOP TALKING LIKE THAT.” “Darling girl, my name is Loki, God of Mischief, Silvertongue, Lord of Lies. I know not of this Tom you speak of.” “YES, MY DEAR. YOUR YOUNG MEN SHALL BE SAFE FROM ANY SO-CALLED WRONGDOING OF OURS.” “Dad…” “WHAT IS IT, DAUGHTER?” “Never mind. Thanks, good night.” #And then the next day Tom and Chris are in full costume#helmets and all#with their scepters and their capes#And she brings in this young guy#and they open the door#And there’s her father and her godfather#Tom smiling his ovary-bursting smile#you know the evil one that’s also strangely sexy#And Chris has his hammer at the ready#and they greet him#calling him a suitor for the hand of the princess of Asgard#talking about how he’ll need to complete nine Trials to prove himself worthy to have her as his queen #he never calls her back I’m sorry but this just keeps getting better and better EACH TIME I SEE THIS THERE ARE MORE WONDERFUL COMMENTS OMFG DIS POST. DEM COMMENTS /dying It gets better every fucking time! I am CRYING oh my god [[And there will be that one guy. He won’t run or never call again. He’ll sit there and play along. “I, (insert name), swear on my very life that thine daughter, thine princess of Asgard shall return safely to you. My very life be forfeit at your hands if it be otherwise.” It’ll be RDJ’s kid. His dad will have warned him about this long beforehand and quizzed him on it.]]: hannawolfcross: theghostparty: pondermoofin: vaniirox: #i feel so bad when any guy or girl tries to date his daughter #because you show up at their door and her dad is fuckin’ Thor Look how badass he is while holding that baby  #I can imagine him using his Thor voice on her #like when she’s crying in the middle of the night #WHAT IS WRONG DAUGHTER OF MINE#DO YOU REQUIRE NOURISHMENT#WHY DOTH YOU TORMENT ME SO PRECIOUS ONE  But what if he used it on the guy who came to the door for his daughter? TELL ME, MIDGARDIAN. WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS TOWARDS MY DAUGHTER? I AM OBLIGED TO INFORM YOU NOW THAT ANY DISRESPECT TOWARDS HER SHALL SURELY END POORLY FOR YOU. WHOSOEVER DATETH MY DAUGHTER IF HE BE WORTHY SHALL POSSESS THE BLESSING OF THOR and watch when the time comes, he’ll just be like “Hey, mate, treat her good okay? Bring her back before eleven please. Drive safely.” I THINK WE HAVE TO WORRY MORE ABOUT HER GODFATHER, TOM LOKI HIDDLESTON TBH. #ohohohohohohohrhioehehehheheh i followed you in my car to make sure you paid for her dinner hehehehehehehehe #i’ll literally come into your house and kill you if you break her heart #hehehehehehee What the hell.This is the greatest post in the universe. jesus christ it’s updated Rebloggin for the comments. JFC Tumblr, I can’t take you anywhere. I love you ALL of you this shit just keeps getting better!!! Dear lord this girl is going to have the hardest time getting a boyfriend. The poor thing is going to come home, stomp up to her room, try to slam the door, but it’ll be impossible because Chris Hemsworth will effortlessly stop the door with his huge Norse God arm. And she’ll be like “DAD! YOU SCARED HIM AWAY!” “I DID NO SUCH THING, MY DEAREST DAUGHTER. I ONLY SPOKE TO HIM THE TRUEST TRUTH OF THE NINE REALMS.” “Oh my god, dad…” “HE HAD AN ILL LOOK ABOUT HIM, I LIKED IT NOT. YOU ARE DESERVING OF THE HIGHEST OF QUALITY IN MEN, NOT THE LIKES OF HIM. YOU HAVE A DUTY AS PRINCESS OF ASGARD TO MARRY WELL AND SERVE THE KINGDOM, AND I ALSO WISH THAT YOU MAY HAVE A HUSBAND WHO WILL TREAT YOU AS THE QUEEN YOU ARE.” “Dad… I’m not a queen! Stop it!” And then Tom Loki Hiddleston, her godfather, walks in and she’s like: “And YOU! YOU SCARED HIM, TOO!” “Oh, I did? My mistake. I overestimated the bravery of the young man, I fear.” “WELL DONE, BROTHER.” “Dad! Uncle Tom! SHUT UP! YOU’RE NOT EVEN REAL BROTHERS!” “I fear your daughter is saying hurtful things in her anger, she means them not, I think. Worry not, Thor, I had trouble with my children more than once…” “UNCLE TOM YOU DON’T HAVE ANY KIDS!” “BROTHER PERHAPS WE SHOULD LEAVE HER TO HER ANGER.” “No, wait! You guys have to stop doing this, I’m never going to get a boyfriend if you keep doing this!” “Oh, alright. We shall never again berate or intimidate the young men whom you present to us. I promise.” “UNCLE TOM STOP TALKING LIKE THAT.” “Darling girl, my name is Loki, God of Mischief, Silvertongue, Lord of Lies. I know not of this Tom you speak of.” “YES, MY DEAR. YOUR YOUNG MEN SHALL BE SAFE FROM ANY SO-CALLED WRONGDOING OF OURS.” “Dad…” “WHAT IS IT, DAUGHTER?” “Never mind. Thanks, good night.” #And then the next day Tom and Chris are in full costume#helmets and all#with their scepters and their capes#And she brings in this young guy#and they open the door#And there’s her father and her godfather#Tom smiling his ovary-bursting smile#you know the evil one that’s also strangely sexy#And Chris has his hammer at the ready#and they greet him#calling him a suitor for the hand of the princess of Asgard#talking about how he’ll need to complete nine Trials to prove himself worthy to have her as his queen #he never calls her back I’m sorry but this just keeps getting better and better EACH TIME I SEE THIS THERE ARE MORE WONDERFUL COMMENTS OMFG DIS POST. DEM COMMENTS /dying It gets better every fucking time! I am CRYING oh my god [[And there will be that one guy. He won’t run or never call again. He’ll sit there and play along. “I, (insert name), swear on my very life that thine daughter, thine princess of Asgard shall return safely to you. My very life be forfeit at your hands if it be otherwise.” It’ll be RDJ’s kid. His dad will have warned him about this long beforehand and quizzed him on it.]]
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