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Drinking, Food, and Friends: 9:41 AM 100% Sprint Details Messages SMS with 5/19/15, 5:57 PM Who r u? Oh sorry its wendy Andrews mom. I'm send you the invitation with all the info Is Zi gonna be there? Who is that? Vilnius McGherken. The guy who jumps out of bar mitzvah cakes *Zilnius 5/19/15, 7:17 PM We are doing a simple lunch in in glendora.. Both of our boys will be graduation the same day At 1:30 Do you want all of us to come? Or just me? Sure.. The intevation is for Ryan n parents I forwarded the invite to Peter Nardi, Carmichael Denunzio, Mordecai Sheftall, Deiter Von Kreme, and Sukdah Cox. Is there anyone else I should invite? We are only inviting Nathan Ryan n 2 other friends Sounds like a sausage fest 5/20/15, 9:03 PM Hey. I met this really cool podiatrist at the gun show who turned me on to a reflexologist. I thought it would be a gas if she came and gave us all foot massages at the luncheon. It would be my graduation present to the boys. Hi, that sound so relaxing, but we are having food at a restaurant n I don't think food and feet mix. Thank you for the thought How many are you RSVP for. Need #for the food Ok. I'll cancel the reflexologist so it'll just be the three of us. Can't wait 5/21/15, 3:23 PM After thinking about it last night, you were right the foot massage thing was a terrible idea. I've got to stop drinking so early in the day). But I would like to do something special for the boys. I read in some magazine at my proctologists office about a Christian midget mariachi band. Do you think it would be cool if they came and performed at the luncheon. I don't think they'd eat very much. Let me know. Text Message Send Got invited to an 8th grader’s graduation party

Got invited to an 8th grader’s graduation party

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Drinking, Meme, and Good: I should stop drinking and memeing, nothing good ever happens when I drink and meme

I should stop drinking and memeing, nothing good ever happens when I drink and meme

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Drinking, Soda, and Can: Stop drinking soda! this is what's inside the can

Stop drinking soda! this is what's inside the can

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Ass, Bad, and Crying: ile: 1361731956805 ipg-(5 KB, 240x179, Insane hobo kid with polio.jpg) Anonymous (ID: cc1mr 26) 02/24/13(Sun)13:52:36 No.461009390 Be 9 year old me Have a bad stomach for 2 weeks Doctors say1 might be allergic to milk fuckthat.jpg love O'boy (chocoloate milk) and will never stop drinking it Wake up one morning with extreme stomach pain >Spend entire morning on toilet No more pains thank god Go out for breakfast, make tuna toast for me and my 5 year old bro Fucking delicious, but something is missing crave O'boy now, my earlier stomach pains are completely forgotten Mmmmh fucking O'boy man >A few hours pass, playing mario kart with brother He sucks, i'm laughing at him, although he's only 5, he should know how to throw bananas Laughing really hard by now, cant breath mfw he's driving the wrong direction win the round, waiting for everyone to end the lap 5 year old bro haven't even driven his first lap yet My sides are now get this brilliant idea to fart in his face (done this many times before) on the floor ng pull down my underwear and put my ass-cheeks towards his face Let out a huge fart Fart is followed by liquid shit My peacefully playing little brother is now getting sprayed with shit >A few seconds pass, bro looks like he's about to cry Suddenly he screams louder than ive ever heard anyone scream before >Dad heard the scream He comes in and sees his youngest kid sprayed with shit, crying I stand there with out underwear, shocked Dad pukes >Lil bro is crying l begin to cry Grounded for 2 weeks. Ihaven't drinked O'boy ever since, although i'm not allergic to milk Chocolate rainnn
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Ass, Drinking, and Drunk: [- NumberOneAsshole 1 point 21 hours ago Ha! /r/pettyrevenge would LOVE this. Fuck that little twat. If one of my kids acted like that I'd buy all of them and make them watch me eat them permalink source save save-RES edit disable inbox replies delete reply hide child comments [-] LIAR DOWNVOTE ALL [-2][S] 1 point 6 hours ago I literally have no idea how I posted this.. permalink source save save-RES parent report give award reply hide child comments [-] NumberOneAsshole 1 point 19 minutes ago Time for you to stop drinking. Drunk/blackout reddit will come back and bite you in the ass. After a night of drinking when I see a ton of envelopes waiting for me...I know I either 1.) fucked up or 2.) said something that people loved. Unfortunately it is usually the former. lol permalink source save save-RES parent edit disable inbox replies delete reply hide child comments [-] LIAR - DOWNVOTE ALL -2][S] 1 point 17 minutes ago I wish I had been drunk, but I don't drink. My phone freezes up a lot, so I think it must have happened whilst I was mashing buttons to try and unfreeze it. Coupled with the fact that I'm relatively new to Reddit. I don't even know how to find out where I posted it. permalink source save save-RES parent report give award reply hide child comments [-] NumberOneAsshole 1 point 3 minutes ago* (last edited just now) Err....are you fucking kidding me? Now you are just being fucking stupid. Yeah, your stupid phone must have linked a photo to a specific sub...and posted a specific title that isn't just a jumble of letters you'd see while mashing buttons. "Respect your mother"...yeah, totally button mashing. Congrats on your new tag "LIAR DOWNVOTE ALL." LOL permalink source save save-RES parent edit disable inbox replies delete reply LIAR DOWNVOTE ALL [-2][S] 1 point 2 minutes ago You have issues. permalink source save save-RES parent report give award reply hide child comments hide child comments [-1 NumberOneAsshole 1 point a minute ago Because I called you out for lying? Yeah, I'm the one with issues. At least come up with a somewhat credible story. LOL permalink source save save-RES parent edit disable inbox replies delete reply Infinite Monkey Theorem
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Ass, Bad, and Be Like: File: 1361731956805 ipg-(5 KB, 240x179, Insane hobo kid with polio jpg) Anonymous (ID: cc1mr+26) 02/24/13(Sun)13:52:36 No.461009390 Rep Be 9 year old me Have a bad stomach for 2 weeks Doctors say might be allergic to milk fuckthatjpg love O'boy (chocoloate milk) and will never stop drinking it >Wake up one morning with extreme stomach pain Spend entire morning on toilet No more pains thank god Go out for breakfast, make tuna toast for me and my 5 year old bro Fucking delicious but something is missing crave O'boy now, my earlier stomach pains are completely forgotten Mmmmh fucking O'boy man A few hours pass. playing mario kart with brother He sucks, I'm laughing at him, although he's only 5, he should know how to throw bananas Laughing realy hard by now, can't breath mtw he's driving the wrong direction win the round, waiting for everyone to end the lap 5 year old bro havent even driven his first lap yet My sides are now sprawling on the floor I get this brilliant idea to fart in his face (done this many times before) pull down my underwear and put my ass-cheeks towards his face Let out a huge fart Fart is followed by liquid shit My peacefully playing little brother is now getting sprayed with shit A few seconds pass, bro looks like he's about to cry >Suddenly he screams louder than i've ever heard anyone scream before Dad heard the scream He comes in and sees his youngest kid sprayed with shit, crying stand there without underwear, shocked Dad pukes Lir bro is crying l begin to cry Grounded for 2 weeks It do be like that
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