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rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milstein’s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed. “I guess at some point while she’s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,” said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was “the only possible conclusion” about the light-gray rock in his girlfriend’s bathroom. “I mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But it’s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think it’s probably something she actually uses while under the water.” “I really don’t know how it all works,” Ferris added. “All I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, there’s a rock involved.” Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on. In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when he’s in Milstein’s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriend’s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average person’s considering she has added a rock into the mix. Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful. “I tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,” Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. “I could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe I’m wrong.” “There is a chance it could be a hair thing,” Ferris continued. “Maybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I don’t know.” Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time. “It could be for cleaning the bathtub,” said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. “Like every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.” While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower. “I wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when she’s over here,” said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath & Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their “shower rocks.” “Or I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.” “I’m probably not going to do that,” Ferris added. At press time, a visibly perplexed Ferris had seen the rock sitting in Milstein’s trashcan and then looked in the shower to see another rock sitting in its place. : rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milstein’s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed. “I guess at some point while she’s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,” said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was “the only possible conclusion” about the light-gray rock in his girlfriend’s bathroom. “I mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But it’s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think it’s probably something she actually uses while under the water.” “I really don’t know how it all works,” Ferris added. “All I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, there’s a rock involved.” Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on. In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when he’s in Milstein’s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriend’s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average person’s considering she has added a rock into the mix. Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful. “I tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,” Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. “I could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe I’m wrong.” “There is a chance it could be a hair thing,” Ferris continued. “Maybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I don’t know.” Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time. “It could be for cleaning the bathtub,” said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. “Like every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.” While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower. “I wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when she’s over here,” said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath & Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their “shower rocks.” “Or I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.” “I’m probably not going to do that,” Ferris added. At press time, a visibly perplexed Ferris had seen the rock sitting in Milstein’s trashcan and then looked in the shower to see another rock sitting in its place.

rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full...

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randomslasher: seek-strength: geekinallitsglory: sashaalexanderisalesbianatheart: judgingitsilently: krazieleylines: typicalpony: How awesome does this sound though. You get infinite money and once a week you get to take a child to a candy store or toys or us or somewhere they love and buy them as much they want this would be fun given the kid wasn’t a brat. There is no downside to this at all This is the best, because it says A CHILD, not your child, so I could pick one of the really poor kids on the streets and go “Your life is going to change right now”, and I could buy everything their family might need, along with a house, a food supply, toys, clothes, and everything they never had the chance to have before. And the best thing is that I could do this with lots of children, and not just one. I could give a lot of children in need a full week of Christmas basically and maybe give them a chance to have a different life. That would be great. Bless u ^ humanity still exists.  Plus depending on how you define “child”, you could be helping highschool students who are struggling with application fines and even pay for college tuition, room and board, or books Bless this post and you kind hearted people. AND it says “AT LEAST” one week a month so you don’t have to stop at just one week, you could do this literally every day. And it doesn’t say it has to be the same child the whole week so you could easily pick one child each day, ‘cause let’s face it you could probably take care of most everything in that one day and spread your child-helping ability even further. : randomslasher: seek-strength: geekinallitsglory: sashaalexanderisalesbianatheart: judgingitsilently: krazieleylines: typicalpony: How awesome does this sound though. You get infinite money and once a week you get to take a child to a candy store or toys or us or somewhere they love and buy them as much they want this would be fun given the kid wasn’t a brat. There is no downside to this at all This is the best, because it says A CHILD, not your child, so I could pick one of the really poor kids on the streets and go “Your life is going to change right now”, and I could buy everything their family might need, along with a house, a food supply, toys, clothes, and everything they never had the chance to have before. And the best thing is that I could do this with lots of children, and not just one. I could give a lot of children in need a full week of Christmas basically and maybe give them a chance to have a different life. That would be great. Bless u ^ humanity still exists.  Plus depending on how you define “child”, you could be helping highschool students who are struggling with application fines and even pay for college tuition, room and board, or books Bless this post and you kind hearted people. AND it says “AT LEAST” one week a month so you don’t have to stop at just one week, you could do this literally every day. And it doesn’t say it has to be the same child the whole week so you could easily pick one child each day, ‘cause let’s face it you could probably take care of most everything in that one day and spread your child-helping ability even further. 

randomslasher: seek-strength: geekinallitsglory: sashaalexanderisalesbianatheart: judgingitsilently: krazieleylines: typicalpony: H...

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cheeseanonioncrisps: roseverdict: roseverdict: jus-tea: Daddy’s at the food store, Mummy’s out of town, She’s working at the hospital since Rhona came to town, Hide away, hide away, Miss Rhona’s come to town, Hide away, hide away, she’s come to take us down. Miss Rhona’s at the doorstep, I’ll keep 6 feet away, But Grandma needs the paper, I’ll take her some today, Hide away, hide away, Miss Rhona’s come to stay, Hide away, hide away, we can’t come out to play. But Grandma needs the paper, I’ll take her some today, And here’s a note from Rhona, she wanted me to say, Hide away, hide away, keep 6 feet away, Hide away, hide away, she took us down today. [Image ID: Tumblr user @neanderthyall says in the notes, “I thought that 6 feet was kind of a double meaning. Like six feet away to stop the spread, but when people die they’re six feet underground, and its six feet of the dirt that keeps you apart. Like ‘Hide away, hide away, even though it hurts Hide away, hide away, or the six feet will be dirt’.” End ID.] HI DON’T LEAVE THIS IN THE NOTES THAT’S ACTUALLY BRILLIANT It’s not a proper creepy nursery rhyme until it’s got an eery childrens’ game attached to it though (think ring-a-round-the-roses or oranges and lemons). One child shall be designated ‘Miss (Mr, Mx) Rhona’ and will have to cover their eyes (hide away). They then have to try to catch the other kids— think Blind Man’s Bluff. The children running away chant the rhyme, to make it easier for ‘Rhona’ to find them. Any child tagged becomes another ‘Rhona’ and must also cover their eyes and join in the chase. The winner is the last child left uninfected. Meanwhile all adults in the area must watch with a vague sense of unease, and whisper to each other “do you know what that’s inspired by?” : cheeseanonioncrisps: roseverdict: roseverdict: jus-tea: Daddy’s at the food store, Mummy’s out of town, She’s working at the hospital since Rhona came to town, Hide away, hide away, Miss Rhona’s come to town, Hide away, hide away, she’s come to take us down. Miss Rhona’s at the doorstep, I’ll keep 6 feet away, But Grandma needs the paper, I’ll take her some today, Hide away, hide away, Miss Rhona’s come to stay, Hide away, hide away, we can’t come out to play. But Grandma needs the paper, I’ll take her some today, And here’s a note from Rhona, she wanted me to say, Hide away, hide away, keep 6 feet away, Hide away, hide away, she took us down today. [Image ID: Tumblr user @neanderthyall says in the notes, “I thought that 6 feet was kind of a double meaning. Like six feet away to stop the spread, but when people die they’re six feet underground, and its six feet of the dirt that keeps you apart. Like ‘Hide away, hide away, even though it hurts Hide away, hide away, or the six feet will be dirt’.” End ID.] HI DON’T LEAVE THIS IN THE NOTES THAT’S ACTUALLY BRILLIANT It’s not a proper creepy nursery rhyme until it’s got an eery childrens’ game attached to it though (think ring-a-round-the-roses or oranges and lemons). One child shall be designated ‘Miss (Mr, Mx) Rhona’ and will have to cover their eyes (hide away). They then have to try to catch the other kids— think Blind Man’s Bluff. The children running away chant the rhyme, to make it easier for ‘Rhona’ to find them. Any child tagged becomes another ‘Rhona’ and must also cover their eyes and join in the chase. The winner is the last child left uninfected. Meanwhile all adults in the area must watch with a vague sense of unease, and whisper to each other “do you know what that’s inspired by?”

cheeseanonioncrisps: roseverdict: roseverdict: jus-tea: Daddy’s at the food store, Mummy’s out of town, She’s working at the hospita...

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avenginginsanity: diamondclustahusla: quiteliterallyhotsauce: I’ve watched this 10 times I can’t breathe!😂😂😂😂 (All of this is said in a auto-tuned, sing-song voice. Audio originally from tik tok user @mikethornwell.) So when I was 16, I used to work in a grocery store. And we had one customer who always came in who was always very obviously mentally ill. And one day I was bagging her groceries, and she said to me, “don’t you wish it was back to the cotton picking days?” And I was like, “hmm,” And she was like, “don’t you wish it was back to the cotton picking days?” And I was like, “as in slavery?” And she was like, “yes.” And I was like, “why the fuck would you ask me that?” And my manager was like, “what’s going on?” And I was like, “I’m gonna have to step away before I throw a punch at an elderly woman.” And she was like, “okay go in to the break room.” A week later we found out the old woman had a heart attack and died. And I’m not saying she deserved it. But I’m saying   ~・゚:*God’s timing is always right!*:・゚✧ ~ : avenginginsanity: diamondclustahusla: quiteliterallyhotsauce: I’ve watched this 10 times I can’t breathe!😂😂😂😂 (All of this is said in a auto-tuned, sing-song voice. Audio originally from tik tok user @mikethornwell.) So when I was 16, I used to work in a grocery store. And we had one customer who always came in who was always very obviously mentally ill. And one day I was bagging her groceries, and she said to me, “don’t you wish it was back to the cotton picking days?” And I was like, “hmm,” And she was like, “don’t you wish it was back to the cotton picking days?” And I was like, “as in slavery?” And she was like, “yes.” And I was like, “why the fuck would you ask me that?” And my manager was like, “what’s going on?” And I was like, “I’m gonna have to step away before I throw a punch at an elderly woman.” And she was like, “okay go in to the break room.” A week later we found out the old woman had a heart attack and died. And I’m not saying she deserved it. But I’m saying   ~・゚:*God’s timing is always right!*:・゚✧ ~
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ao3commentoftheday: In recent days, there have been a number of posts on tumblr about third party apps that host AO3 fic on them. A lot of people are worried and even more people are pissed. There is no need to send in emails to AO3 Support or to the Policy and Abuse team. They are fully aware of the situation and are probably drowning in emails right now.  Here’s what I know and what you can do about it. Fluff app / Fanfiction Pocket Archive Library app / Archive Track Reader app: These apps work as a sort of skin for the AO3 site itself. They don’t download works and redistribute them. They provide an access point to AO3. The developers of these apps are making money from the app itself (through tips and subscriptions - both voluntary), which wouldn’t exist without the free content created by AO3 authors. Since people post their work to AO3 because it is free to access and hosted without ads, authors are understandably angered by this. Because these apps are basically just a portal to the site, a DMCA notice will not apply in this case. All works currently hosted on AO3 will show up on these apps, because these apps are simply letting you view AO3 through their interface. Woodsign company apps (including MCU, Harry Potter, Sherlock, Creepypasta, and more): These apps seem to curate  some fic from the various fandoms and rehost it. They allow users to read offline, so it’s possible they are redistributing it. In this case, a DMCA takedown might be effective. This app developer is also making money by hosting fanfic that was written and posted for free on AO3. They have put up a paywall so that you can only access the complete fic if you pay for it or rate the app in the App store.  If you want to post a negative review, consider saying things like: * these fanworks are free already at archiveofourown.org* you can kudos, comment, bookmark, subscribe, and mark to read for later for free with an archiveofourown.org account* you can also download fics to read later in various file formats - both pdf and formats that are usable by ereaders * archiveofourown.org is a website with full mobile browser accessibility. Anything you can do in this app, you can do on the site - for free, and without ads* the Archive is a fully-licensed non-profit organization run by volunteers, unlike this for-profit app There is no official AO3 app. The website is mobile friendly and if you want to have quick button access to it, you can Add to Homescreen on your phone and you can click in just like you would on an app. None of these third party apps can provide you with AO3 support. Only AO3 can do that. The best version of the site will always, always be the site itself. If you’ve read this far, please signal boost so that AO3 Support can get fewer tickets. And if you love AO3, consider donating to them. They accept donations year round, not just during their pledge drives.  : ao3commentoftheday: In recent days, there have been a number of posts on tumblr about third party apps that host AO3 fic on them. A lot of people are worried and even more people are pissed. There is no need to send in emails to AO3 Support or to the Policy and Abuse team. They are fully aware of the situation and are probably drowning in emails right now.  Here’s what I know and what you can do about it. Fluff app / Fanfiction Pocket Archive Library app / Archive Track Reader app: These apps work as a sort of skin for the AO3 site itself. They don’t download works and redistribute them. They provide an access point to AO3. The developers of these apps are making money from the app itself (through tips and subscriptions - both voluntary), which wouldn’t exist without the free content created by AO3 authors. Since people post their work to AO3 because it is free to access and hosted without ads, authors are understandably angered by this. Because these apps are basically just a portal to the site, a DMCA notice will not apply in this case. All works currently hosted on AO3 will show up on these apps, because these apps are simply letting you view AO3 through their interface. Woodsign company apps (including MCU, Harry Potter, Sherlock, Creepypasta, and more): These apps seem to curate  some fic from the various fandoms and rehost it. They allow users to read offline, so it’s possible they are redistributing it. In this case, a DMCA takedown might be effective. This app developer is also making money by hosting fanfic that was written and posted for free on AO3. They have put up a paywall so that you can only access the complete fic if you pay for it or rate the app in the App store.  If you want to post a negative review, consider saying things like: * these fanworks are free already at archiveofourown.org* you can kudos, comment, bookmark, subscribe, and mark to read for later for free with an archiveofourown.org account* you can also download fics to read later in various file formats - both pdf and formats that are usable by ereaders * archiveofourown.org is a website with full mobile browser accessibility. Anything you can do in this app, you can do on the site - for free, and without ads* the Archive is a fully-licensed non-profit organization run by volunteers, unlike this for-profit app There is no official AO3 app. The website is mobile friendly and if you want to have quick button access to it, you can Add to Homescreen on your phone and you can click in just like you would on an app. None of these third party apps can provide you with AO3 support. Only AO3 can do that. The best version of the site will always, always be the site itself. If you’ve read this far, please signal boost so that AO3 Support can get fewer tickets. And if you love AO3, consider donating to them. They accept donations year round, not just during their pledge drives. 

ao3commentoftheday: In recent days, there have been a number of posts on tumblr about third party apps that host AO3 fic on them. A lot o...

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