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*** STORY TIME *** Ich hoffe Ihr wurdet dieses Jahr reichlich beschenkt 😊 Wollte Euch mit diesem Bild eine kurze Storytime über ein Weihnachtsgeschenk von mir an meinen jüngeren Bruder erzählen 😉 Hin und wieder ruft mich mein Bruder mitten in der Nacht an, wohlgemerkt in nüchternem Zustand ☝️🏻😂, und erzählt mir von Geschäftsideen oder Cartoons die ich nach seinen Angaben umsetzten soll 🤣... Das Ganze läuft dann so ab, dass Nachts mein Handy klingelt, ich dran gehe und mein Bruder direkt einen Lachflash bekommt welcher in etwa 5-7 min. andauert bevor er mit seiner glorreichen Idee raus rückt 😂😂 Seine Frage in der besagten Nacht war: "Wie nennt man einen Waschbären der viel trainiert? Waschmaschine" 😂😂 Als Andenken an seine legendären Anrufe bekam er dieses Jahr eine Skizze von mir gezeichneten 😉 Habt ihr auch solch eine "bekloppte" Familie 😂? LG José josecomics josecartoon waschbär waschmaschine zeichnung skizze illustration geschenk weihnachtsgeschenk ichliebeihn: WASCHBAR WASCHMASCHINE Jose_Comics *** STORY TIME *** Ich hoffe Ihr wurdet dieses Jahr reichlich beschenkt 😊 Wollte Euch mit diesem Bild eine kurze Storytime über ein Weihnachtsgeschenk von mir an meinen jüngeren Bruder erzählen 😉 Hin und wieder ruft mich mein Bruder mitten in der Nacht an, wohlgemerkt in nüchternem Zustand ☝️🏻😂, und erzählt mir von Geschäftsideen oder Cartoons die ich nach seinen Angaben umsetzten soll 🤣... Das Ganze läuft dann so ab, dass Nachts mein Handy klingelt, ich dran gehe und mein Bruder direkt einen Lachflash bekommt welcher in etwa 5-7 min. andauert bevor er mit seiner glorreichen Idee raus rückt 😂😂 Seine Frage in der besagten Nacht war: "Wie nennt man einen Waschbären der viel trainiert? Waschmaschine" 😂😂 Als Andenken an seine legendären Anrufe bekam er dieses Jahr eine Skizze von mir gezeichneten 😉 Habt ihr auch solch eine "bekloppte" Familie 😂? LG José josecomics josecartoon waschbär waschmaschine zeichnung skizze illustration geschenk weihnachtsgeschenk ichliebeihn

*** STORY TIME *** Ich hoffe Ihr wurdet dieses Jahr reichlich beschenkt 😊 Wollte Euch mit diesem Bild eine kurze Storytime über ein Weihn...

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Obnoxious Lady Uses Google Translate to Give a Speech and Border Patrol lets her go Because of her "Foul Mouth": Yesterday at 8:17 AM Ok. Storytime: this is kinda long but PLEASE READ. It's about my experience last night with these fucking border patrol agents. Last night, I rode the greyhound bus from Bakersfield to Las Vegas to visit family. When we got to the California/Nevada state line, as always, there's a checkpoint. (This checkpoint USED to be one where they made sure you weren't carrying fruits into California, bc of an invasive fruit fly species) Anyway... The bus driver makes an announcement: "We are being boarded by Border Patrol. Please be prepared to show your documentation upon request". WAIT. WHAT THE FUCK? So you know I'm ready to act an ASS. I stand up and say LOUDLY I stand up and say LOUDLY: THIS IS A VIOLATION OF YOUR 4TH AMENDMENT RIGHTS. YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHOW THEM *SHIT*! This is illegal. We are not within 100 miles of an international border so that have NO authority to ask you for ANYTHING. TELL THEM TO FUCK OFF! And, Since my Spanish sucks, I Google translated how to say that in Spanish and repeated myself: Esto es una violación de los derechos de su cuarta enmienda. ¡No tienes que mostrarles nada! Esto es ilegal No cumples, y no tengas miedo. Están equivocados, y no dejaremos pasar esto The lady next to me did not speak English. She looked terrified. I reassured her that I had her back. The agents get on. Proceed to announce that they are about to start asking for "documentation" from people. I Stand up and yell "I'm not showing you shit! 'm not drivina this his so vou have NO The agents get on. Proceed to announce that they are about to start asking for "documentation" from people. I Stand up and yell "I'm not showing you shit! I'm not driving this bus, so you have NO RIGHT to ask me for anything! And the rest of you guys don't have to show them anything, either! This is harassment and racial profiling! Don't show them a gotdamn thing! We are not within 100 miles of a border so they have NO LEGAL RIGHT or jurisdiction here! GOOGLE IT!" The agents start to look exasperated, because they can see I'm wiling to act a WHOLE DONKEY. One of them said "Fine. We can see that you're a citizen because of your filthy mouth". And then they just said "go ahead" to the bus driver and got off. Point is: These border patrol officers act like they do because they EXPECT people to be afraid of them and just comply. The lady next to me spoke NO ENGLISH, but she was a very kind woman. She looked TERRIFIED when Point is: These border patrol officers act like they do because they EXPECT people to be afraid of them and just comply. The lady next to me spoke NO ENGLISH, but she was a very kind woman. She looked TERRIFIED when they boarded. I felt it was my duty to defend her. We DO NOT LIVE in Nazi Germany. No one should be asked to present "papers" for interstate travel. I defended her, and I defended myself. We DO NOT HAVE to just take this shit LYING down. What those officers did is WRONG and completely illegal. All it took was ONE LOUD ass Black woman to let them know WE ARE NOT WITH THE SHITS. FUCK Y'ALL. And they backed off. Use your voice. Take a risk. Act an ASS. Because if you let them intimidate the poor Spanish speaking woman next to you, who do you think they're coming for next? Obnoxious Lady Uses Google Translate to Give a Speech and Border Patrol lets her go Because of her "Foul Mouth"
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•A few days ago I got asked to go to my school's dance by this boy that I'm not really friends with so I turned him down. My best friend and I are going together but she wants to get asked and I kinda want to get asked by someone I'm good friends with 🙃🙃 also my crush might be asking my other best friend so yipeee 😬Hey at least on the plus side I bought my dress today 😂 •What are your thoughts on proms-dances-balls? 🌙 ~I like that I don't dress up and that prom is when I can so it's special ✨ . . . . confess confessions confession girl confessionsaccount love life relationships friends friendships like4like followme relatable story storytime confessed confessing goals like theme confessionpost follow cute beautiful happy amazing igers fun smile: hen it was prom my friend got angry at me cos I was wearing a 2-piece and so was she and she shouted at me the when I was playin out with my other friends i got a message saying 'so youre not my best friend no more idk what to do •A few days ago I got asked to go to my school's dance by this boy that I'm not really friends with so I turned him down. My best friend and I are going together but she wants to get asked and I kinda want to get asked by someone I'm good friends with 🙃🙃 also my crush might be asking my other best friend so yipeee 😬Hey at least on the plus side I bought my dress today 😂 •What are your thoughts on proms-dances-balls? 🌙 ~I like that I don't dress up and that prom is when I can so it's special ✨ . . . . confess confessions confession girl confessionsaccount love life relationships friends friendships like4like followme relatable story storytime confessed confessing goals like theme confessionpost follow cute beautiful happy amazing igers fun smile

•A few days ago I got asked to go to my school's dance by this boy that I'm not really friends with so I turned him down. My best friend...

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Alright STORYTIME: So my mum and I were meant to stay for two nights at this hotel in the middle of nowhere in Denmark and we stayed there last night and we were supposed to stay there again tonight but last night it was just horrible (I'm talking no hot water, broken bed, dirty, NO WIFI) so this morning we decided to take all our stuff with us when we left for the day to go into the city (two hours away) and while we were in the city we were gonna look for another hotel and if we found one we were just gonna stay in the city. So we went down to the front desk and told them that we had an early flight the next morning in the city (which is true) so if we found a hotel there we might just stay but if we couldn't we would come back so could they please keep our room (we'd already paid for it mind you) and we gave them back the keys and left. Fast forward eight hours we couldn't find any hotels anywhere around cuz there's some sort of festival going on at the moment so we decided to drive two hours back to the hotel. We got back and went up to the front desk, only to find out that they had ALREADY SOLD OUR ROOM TO SOMEONE ELSE. So we got our money back and drove back to the city, and went looking around one more time for a hotel. Fast forward another hour and a huge ass roaming charge on my phone and now we just decided to stay the night at the airport. To be honest though I'm happier here than at that hotel because at least the fucking airport has wifi :) -mio: sorcererinslytherin: homwrecker this mother fucker is the voice of nemo shit i think i want to fuck nemo this little fucker goes to my college- I've met him. To make matter worse, he's sweet and shy. And hates it when people whisper "fish are friends, not food" around him oh my god Alright STORYTIME: So my mum and I were meant to stay for two nights at this hotel in the middle of nowhere in Denmark and we stayed there last night and we were supposed to stay there again tonight but last night it was just horrible (I'm talking no hot water, broken bed, dirty, NO WIFI) so this morning we decided to take all our stuff with us when we left for the day to go into the city (two hours away) and while we were in the city we were gonna look for another hotel and if we found one we were just gonna stay in the city. So we went down to the front desk and told them that we had an early flight the next morning in the city (which is true) so if we found a hotel there we might just stay but if we couldn't we would come back so could they please keep our room (we'd already paid for it mind you) and we gave them back the keys and left. Fast forward eight hours we couldn't find any hotels anywhere around cuz there's some sort of festival going on at the moment so we decided to drive two hours back to the hotel. We got back and went up to the front desk, only to find out that they had ALREADY SOLD OUR ROOM TO SOMEONE ELSE. So we got our money back and drove back to the city, and went looking around one more time for a hotel. Fast forward another hour and a huge ass roaming charge on my phone and now we just decided to stay the night at the airport. To be honest though I'm happier here than at that hotel because at least the fucking airport has wifi :) -mio
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My fav caption: - Real niggas go in dry. Actually funny story that doesn't really need a storytime tag. One day on a weekend my parents and siblings left and I had the house to myself. I'm a teenager with sexual urges so I start fucking my dog. But that lil nigga had the nerve to bark and bite me and shit so I let him go. I walked around the house trying to find various things to put my dick in: Paper towel roll The butter The sink drain A vent in the floor Hell I even tried the vacuum. But then it occurred to me that I could use my HANDS. I thought that shit was so brilliant I should patent it. So after I realized I could use my hands to rape my self, I noticed it was drier than eating a biscuit with no juice. To remedy this I used water, but that didn't have any effect. Then I used dishwasher soap. Now don't get me wrong that shit felt good at first, but then I got all sticky. Thats when I found Jergens, our Lord and Savior. After all these recent developments, I decided to call my friend Jack so we could figure out how to patent this method. "What should we call it?" he asked. "I think it should be called, Terome-ing off." "I've got a better idea." said Jack.: People: You look stressed, has something happened? Me: t all started when I was born. My fav caption: - Real niggas go in dry. Actually funny story that doesn't really need a storytime tag. One day on a weekend my parents and siblings left and I had the house to myself. I'm a teenager with sexual urges so I start fucking my dog. But that lil nigga had the nerve to bark and bite me and shit so I let him go. I walked around the house trying to find various things to put my dick in: Paper towel roll The butter The sink drain A vent in the floor Hell I even tried the vacuum. But then it occurred to me that I could use my HANDS. I thought that shit was so brilliant I should patent it. So after I realized I could use my hands to rape my self, I noticed it was drier than eating a biscuit with no juice. To remedy this I used water, but that didn't have any effect. Then I used dishwasher soap. Now don't get me wrong that shit felt good at first, but then I got all sticky. Thats when I found Jergens, our Lord and Savior. After all these recent developments, I decided to call my friend Jack so we could figure out how to patent this method. "What should we call it?" he asked. "I think it should be called, Terome-ing off." "I've got a better idea." said Jack.
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Real niggas go in dry. Actually funny story that doesn't really need a storytime tag. One day on a weekend my parents and siblings left and I had the house to myself. I'm a teenager with sexual urges so I start fucking my dog. But that lil nigga had the nerve to bark and bite me and shit so I let him go. I walked around the house trying to find various things to put my dick in: Paper towel roll The butter The sink drain A vent in the floor Hell I even tried the vacuum. But then it occurred to me that I could use my HANDS. I thought that shit was so brilliant I should patent it. So after I realized I could use my hands to rape my self, I noticed it was drier than eating a biscuit with no juice. To remedy this I used water, but that didn't have any effect. Then I used dishwasher soap. Now don't get me wrong that shit felt good at first, but then I got all sticky. Thats when I found Jergens, our Lord and Savior. After all these recent developments, I decided to call my friend Jack so we could figure out how to patent this method. "What should we call it?" he asked. "I think it should be called, Terome-ing off." "I've got a better idea." said Jack.: 251524 seconds after your parents leave the house NIVEA le Real niggas go in dry. Actually funny story that doesn't really need a storytime tag. One day on a weekend my parents and siblings left and I had the house to myself. I'm a teenager with sexual urges so I start fucking my dog. But that lil nigga had the nerve to bark and bite me and shit so I let him go. I walked around the house trying to find various things to put my dick in: Paper towel roll The butter The sink drain A vent in the floor Hell I even tried the vacuum. But then it occurred to me that I could use my HANDS. I thought that shit was so brilliant I should patent it. So after I realized I could use my hands to rape my self, I noticed it was drier than eating a biscuit with no juice. To remedy this I used water, but that didn't have any effect. Then I used dishwasher soap. Now don't get me wrong that shit felt good at first, but then I got all sticky. Thats when I found Jergens, our Lord and Savior. After all these recent developments, I decided to call my friend Jack so we could figure out how to patent this method. "What should we call it?" he asked. "I think it should be called, Terome-ing off." "I've got a better idea." said Jack.
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