🔥 Popular | Latest

Bulbasaur, Candy, and Cute: snugz: kirklanddryersheet: gimme-da-memes-b0ss: Bulbasaur was never the same after that day 🐉 Omg omg I got a bulbasaur at build a bear and I was kinda embarrassed about buying it for myself and stuff but there weren’t any other kids in the store or shoppers for that matter and the girl helping me said she was glad to here it was for me as she collects some plushies and has her own bulbasaur. Well she was almost done stuffing him and then I noticed that you can put scents in your bear and fucking love cotton candy and the girl basically car salesmen style sold me on the scent pad and asked where I wanted the scent to go And I didn’t know where it should go but she herself being quite the plushie enthusiast was like “you’re gonna hug him a lot right? may I reccomend right here” and pointed to his forehead So I was like “awe cute yeah that sounds good” (my bulbasaur is totally stuffed mind you and I even had her make him extra firm ) and then the girl rolls up her sleeves and was like “alright bulbasaur! Here we go! I apologize in advance but this is gonna look very inappropriate!” And she fisted my super full bulbasaur all the way to her elbow saying sorry to him and to me over and over again. It took her several tries to get the scent pad in place since my bulbasaur was so stuffed and she looked like she was straining and saying “I don’t know why they didn’t think about this design more, so many parents are gonna complain about this one day, I know it” So all in all this was the best build a bear experience I’ve had since I was a little kid and I love my fat, cotton candy scented, anally inclined bulbasaur to pieces Every time I see this post I cant stop fucking laughing
Save
Bad, Family, and Phone: 2 When my grandfather was young he owned a roadside motel, and my mother used to do work around the motel for the family. The building was old and they had bad pipes, so visits from the plumber were a fairly regular occurrence over there At one point they had a clogged toilet after a guest checked out, so they called the plumber to come and clean it out. The plumber came in with his bag of gear and set to work, but the clog was stubborn After a few tries, he decided he needed to get the snake I don't know if you've ever seen a serious plumbing snake, but the big ones are a sight to behold. This isn't a little crank auger, it's a full-on electrical powered snake with a big motor on the back and a little grabby claw on the end So he fires up the snake and sends the metal coil down into the pipes with the claw closed, figuring whatever's down there he'll just bump it a bit, push it down the pipes until it clears - but this doesn't happen either. Finally, in frustration, he twists the control to open the mechanical claw at the end of the coil, closes it on something, throws the motor in reverse and starts to pull it back up By now a couple of members of the staff have gathered in the room to try and tigure out what the hell got flushed down the toilet that this giant machine couldn't remove. The motor is really straining you know that sound an electric motor makes when it's working really hard? The whole machine is struggling to pull whatever this is back up through the pipes and into the roonm Finally, after an extended wait, the object is slowly dragged, sopping wet, out of the toilet bowl - and it's a shower curtain, The staff is dumbfounded. They're trying to figure out how this could have happened. It would be weird enough if the guest had ripped the shower curtain down and flushed it down the toilet, but the shower curtain in the room is still there. It would be even weirder if the guest had brought their own shower curtain to the motel and tried to flush it down the toilet, but it's clearly one of their shower curtains. Did they try and steal the shower curtain, leave with it, then feel guilty and come back only to find that the shower curtain had already been replaced, and then flush the shower curtain down the toilet to hide the evidence? While they're discussing this, the room phone rings The person on the other end is screaming, hysterical, so it takes a few minutes for them to figure out that it's the housekeeper who was cleaning the rooms. After a few moments, the manage to get the story out of her: The snake had missed the clog entirely. Rather than spiraling down into the plumbing where it was intended to go, it had wound its way into the central line, and then back up the pipes in the room next door. It spiraled its way up, out the toilet bowl, and then started flailing wildly around the next-door bathroom like a Lovecraftian nightmare made of steel, knocking things off of shelves and clattering furiously around the room. Then, while the hapless housekeeper watched in horror, a metal claw opened on the end of it and snagged the shower curtain, ripped it off the bar ring-by-ring, spun it around the room until it was coiled tightly around the cable, and dragged it back down into the toilet bowl The actual clog was never found 10980 Because a shower curtain would really go through the pipes like that

Because a shower curtain would really go through the pipes like that

Save
Beautiful, God, and Lottery: Hill I would like to share this beautiful passage with all of you, it's long, but worth it. And I swear to god I didn't alter any of this Her long hair, still wet from the shower, had been combed down her back in a wet swath Hilda was sitting on the floor, her round, wet boobs still wet from the shower's water. She dried off the water with a towel, which then became wet. Hilda gasped when she saw a reflection in her bedroom mirror: through the slightly open door, she caught a glimpse of the chiseled abs and square jaw of the mysterious stranger who shared her cabin. She stood and spun around, her breasts swinging heavily with the momentum. She grabbed the door She saw herself and Torolf happy together, bathed in the golden light of love. Her snooch got all warm, too Torolf," Hilda moaned, her lush teats straining with desire. "I need you." Torolf, coarse abs pulsing softly in the moonlight, stood silently Hilda looked at him expectantly. "Oh, sorry, she added. "Torolf, I need you sexually." At hearing those beautiful words, Torolf flexed his rough-hewn abs and Hilda found herself being guided to her soft bed by the sheer force of Torolfs undulating midsection. She parted her thighs in anticipation, exposing the soft pink petals of her clunge Torolf entered her like she was a lottery. His engorged pecker pushed inside her and she felt fulfilled with sexual fulfillment. Hilda clutched at the bedsheets with lust and ecstasy and her hands. Her spongy love mountains hurled to and fro with each pounding. Her body was like a beautiful flower that was opening and somebody was pushing their dick inside it. Then Torolf moaned, arched his back, and suffered from dick Parkinson's. He pumped in all of his hot pearlescent sperms as Hilda spasmed with so many orgasms! The two lay still for a moment as the stinky scent of lovemaking billowed around the room. Hilda got out of bed, still shimmering with orgasm. She glowed with contentment, like a cat who ate the cream of the crop She walked across the room and picked up her towel, still wet with shower water. "Torolf," she said softly, "there's something I have to tell you... But her bed was empty Torolf was gone, escaped out the bedroom window. In the distance, Hilda heard the fading sound of galloping abs DICK ANEURYSM GALLOPING ABS A beautiful piece of literature.
Save
Anaconda, Apparently, and Candy: My rattata is the best rattata in the world, its like the top parcentage of rattata! 0P 211 NOW HOLD ON THERE YOUNG LAOY! hoa! Your rattata may seen strong, but it could in fact easily be worthless! It's tine for you to learn about IVs! I'h a boy You see, Tinmy, Pokenon has a long history of hiding vital infornation fron players, and Pokenon Go is no different In this case, CP is secretly controlled by three other stats: attack, defense and stanina, as illustrated by this handy diegran.Atk Unfortunately, these stats aro hidden in the gane itself EP Def My nane isnt Tiny The actual expression is nore conplicated, but hare it is for the sake of conpleteness Wow! That's hard nath No, bobby, you're just ton. But why is ny rattata so strong? But there are several reasons why pokenon of the sane species have varying CP It isn't The first one if your pokenon's level. You nean y No, Jnmy. I nean this thing. Niantic apparently believes a nunber is too confusing, and have decided to reprosent the pokenon's level, hich ranges from 1 to 40, uith this arc. The leval of your pokanon is one of the factors that deternine its stats, and is increased by one half every tine you power it up with candy. Playars at higher levels will ancounter higher-levelled pokenon. Another factor that affects these stats is the species' base stats Base stats are only dependent on your pokenon's species, and are the nain source of increased power upon evolution. Ifyu Rattata uas to avolve to a Raticate, its level would not change, but the base stats would. That, along with the learning of new noves, are the only real effects of evolution. So if 1 evolve ny rattata it will be good? No, Larry Raticates are also terrible. Now, there is one final factor to take into account uhen calculating a pokenon's stats, and these are the IVs. There is one for each of the three stats, and they range fron 0 to 15. IVs are detersined upon catching the pokenon, and do not changa with evolution. You can think of then as the "gones of the pokonon, if that sonahow helps you underst and a set of three nunbers better So is my rattata good because it has good IVs? Let's find out! There are several calculators available online that can help deteraine the IVs of a pokenon. In fact, let's look at the analysis I did earlier! Hou do you have that? I stalk childran and analyse their pokenon for fun. s is a very typical IV table. As see, Ngel, your Rattata has terrible stanina. You don't need to strain you can Rattata yourself looking at any other number than the IV score, Caught 22 hours ago however.This converient percentage shows 32 that your rattata Hp is entirely average 53.3% IV SCORE LEVEL 13 ATTACK DEFENSE STAMINA Is any of this really isportant? It's a video gane, Dennis. It's as inportant as you want it to be. In the absolute nost extrene of cases, a fully levelled Dragonite, the difference betueen an IV score of 0%and one of 100% is 33. This ill nover natter for casual play, those uho want to stack the deck in their favour wll uant to consider it, especially for najor investments like evolving nagikarps. The choice of bothering is entirely up to you. ...Bther uay, rattata is still a terrible pokenon, even if all its IVs are at 15. You really should catch sonething better I'n out of pokéballs. le all are. Because of rattata Professor Oak explains IVs in Go

Professor Oak explains IVs in Go

Save