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Bad, Candy, and College: crying child throwing shit everywhere and screaming Cashier/Server that one person who only sales shops "okay this one was on the 30% off rack, this was 60% off, this was 19.245182% off" Starter Pack kid doing something that parents think is cute but is really fucking annoying everything rings up on sale automatically regardless* the growing fear that you will spend the rest of your life stuck in a terrible comedy hour "it says it was on sale" "it wasn't supposed to be over there" "i will be calling corporate" dead-end customer service job and every day that you work is soul-sucking but you need the have no other options oversharing customers *checks if large bill is real "i made it this morning!" ney and you "hey do you want this candy" "no i'm allergic i will shrivel up and die and you will have to call the police" Used to bartend and had a regular who would ALWAYS order a "shingled roof." I was supposed to reply "What's a shingled roof?" He would then say "It's the only drink that's on the house." After 100+ times, I made up a drink special called the Shingled Roof and charged him $6.50 "how are you?" 3:27 AM Nov 6, 2019 Twitter for iPhone "my dog died at 10 in the morning and i wish i died instead" *item won't scan "i guess it must be free then!" gettyimas "can i help you find anything?" "i'm looking for a dress for my aunt tiffany who was born in the 50s and she says that "anything elsei can get for you?" "a million dollars!" back in her day racism wasn't as bad as they make it out to be everyone loved each other, funny story about that, one day i went to see my uncle thomas and he said he ate his dog's cum an "can i get some change for a 20 please" "sure, how do you want it" "two 50s will be okay" "did you find everything okay?" "they brought it right to me!" silly complaints "this is the worst meal I've ever had" *entire plate is clean* LE YOURE BROKEN IM register stops working at the worst possible time no joke i actually got some dude dressed in full UVA gear come to my store and tell Dean INS!DE me it was a slap in the face to him personally that we sold VCU and VT stuff but no UVA shit when we had sold it for an entire year before that. i'm still mad about it. he was old as hell too. like bro you haven't been in college for 60 years. nothing wrong with being proud but you are harassin me over your obsession with your youth plea *complains incessantly to manager about the meal but never told you once so you could fix it* Jeave me a lone your manager is either someone you're really friendly with and they look out for you or a really nice, fulfilling conversation once a month they fucking hate you for no reason (mine is awesome though, love you lindsey) Customer Service Starter Pack
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Mom, Ball, and Sucking: Pouting and sucking on a blanket until mom plays ball with me.

Pouting and sucking on a blanket until mom plays ball with me.

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Friends, Funny, and Relationships: dalekitsune the phrase "curios ity killed the cat" is actually not the full phrase it actually is "curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back" so don't let anyone tell you not to be a curious little baby okay go and be interested in the world uwu consultingmoosecaptain See also: Bleed is thiekerthan-water-The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. Meaning that relationships formed by choice are stronger than those formed by birth. espurr-roba Let's not forget that "Jack of all trades, master of none" ends with "But better than a master of one." It means that being equally good/average at everything is much better than being perfect at one thing and sucking at everything else. So don't worry if you're not perfect at something you do! Being okay is better! thelastmellophone These made me feel better thelifeofatubaplayer Also, "great minds think alike" ends with "but fools rarely differ" It goes to show that conformity isn't always a good thing. And that just because more than one person has the same idea, doesn't necessarily mean it's a good idea. becausetheintrovert what the fuck why haven't i heard the full version to any of these unlimitedtrashworks "Birds of a feather flock together" ends with "until the cat comes. It's actually a warning about fair-weather friends, not an assessment of how complementary people are. monsters-and-teeth I've always felt like these were cut down purpose evil-shenanigans-alpha I really like these phrases and plan on spreading this knowledge. alwayswillgraham The early bird catches the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese its-kk-yo I want to make designs out of these. sunderlorn Funny how all the half-finished ones encourage uniformity and upholding the status-quo, while the complete proverbs encourage like...living exciting, eclectic lives driven by choice and personal passion.
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Friends, Funny, and Relationships: dalekitsune the phrase "curios ity killed the cat" is actually not the full phrase it actually is "curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back" so don't let anyone tell you not to be a curious little baby okay go and be interested in the world uwu consultingmoosecaptain See also: Bleed is thiekerthan-water-The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. Meaning that relationships formed by choice are stronger than those formed by birth. espurr-roba Let's not forget that "Jack of all trades, master of none" ends with "But better than a master of one." It means that being equally good/average at everything is much better than being perfect at one thing and sucking at everything else. So don't worry if you're not perfect at something you do! Being okay is better! thelastmellophone These made me feel better thelifeofatubaplayer Also, "great minds think alike" ends with "but fools rarely differ" It goes to show that conformity isn't always a good thing. And that just because more than one person has the same idea, doesn't necessarily mean it's a good idea. becausetheintrovert what the fuck why haven't i heard the full version to any of these unlimitedtrashworks "Birds of a feather flock together" ends with "until the cat comes. It's actually a warning about fair-weather friends, not an assessment of how complementary people are. monsters-and-teeth I've always felt like these were cut down purpose evil-shenanigans-alpha I really like these phrases and plan on spreading this knowledge. alwayswillgraham The early bird catches the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese its-kk-yo I want to make designs out of these. sunderlorn Funny how all the half-finished ones encourage uniformity and upholding the status-quo, while the complete proverbs encourage like...living exciting, eclectic lives driven by choice and personal passion.
Save