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Children, Girls, and Life: To you, my Father, why do you hate girls? systlin: appropriately-inappropriate: kittiesatemypronouns: r1vk4: ‘To you, my Father, who do you hate girls? With the same hatred you hate our Mothers…’ In the village of Umoja in Kenya, men are not welcome. In fact, they are banned. In Swahili, one of Kenya’s official languages, Umoja means unity. It is a safe and inspirational refuge for 50 women and 200 children. Umoja was founded in 1990 by female survivors of rape and sexual violence. It has also become a haven for women fleeing sexual and domestic violence, and welcomes people fleeing female genital mutilation, child marriage, and more. ‘I wouldnt wish any Maasai girl to go through what I went through.’ The local Samburu culture is patriarchal where historically women are seen as property. Beading is culturally significant and the women are able to support themselves by selling crafts. Protected by a wall of thorns, the village is self-sufficient and the women run their own lives. Despite resistance from local male-run tribal groups, the village continues to grow. Life is frugal, but the women own the land the village is on and proudly call Umoja their home. A beacon of light for women, Umoja has inspired other women-only villages in Kenya.  - Umoja: The Town Where Men Are Banned They are making and selling jewelry online now! ☺☺ https://umojajewellery.com/ Oh fuck I want the jewelry. That’s gonna be gifted to everyone come holiday season. Welp time to buy some jewelry
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Being Alone, Batman, and Books: LIBRARIAN HUMOR ISEE WHAT YOU DID THERE 0 dracophile: randomthingieshere: pheenixwright: invenblocker: pheenixwright: invenblocker: pheenixwright: invenblocker: forthefuns: follow forthefuns for more funny stuff Your honor! Please direct your attention towards the manga.As you can see there are small pieces of paper sticking out of every volume.But no such paper is sticking out of the Batman comic.The reason? The Batman book doesn’t belong to the library. The photographer put it there to take a picture. Once again making hasty assumptions, Wright?First of all, I’d like to direct the court’s attention to this particular spot, in the top right-hand corner.Notice how the words are blocking the top of the Batman book.With this in mind, how can you claim that there is “no such paper sticking out of the Batman comic”?! Say whaaaat?Well uhmLook at the size of the paper pieces, they’re all sticking pretty far out.If there was paper in the batman comic, it would be big enough to stick up over the text.And while gravity does exist, it probably won’t make the paper do a 90 degree turn and just lean horisontally left at the middle.Still grasping for straws, Wright?Hypothetically, if there were a paper there, this picture would not be able to prove its presence. I’ve taken the liberty of drawing a diagram to illustrate my point. We are faced with three possibilities. It is possible that (1) the paper was simply tucked in deeper than the others.Paper is a soft material, Wright. It’s not unreasonable for it to do a (2) 90 degree turn. Or perhaps, (3) a paper does not exist there at all. Either way, you cannot prove your client innocent without sufficient evidence.   Which, of course, is impossible thanks to the obtrusive words. I’m sorry Edgeworth.I concede that I can’t disprove theory 1But the image you submited for theory 2 is contradictory.Look at the tilt of the other papers. They clearly prove how much the paper would tilt.And theory 3 is my point! Why would the library’s book not have this piece of paper when the other library books do?While you still have thory 1, there is another contradiction.The books are not in alphabetical order, this proves that the batman comic was placed there specifically for the picture! Ack.(Perhaps I should’ve left the artistry to the forensic artist…)Now hold it right there! It doesn’t matter which direction the paper is going because it’s impossible to prove it even exists!Those theories are all the same! We do not have enough information to prove them. There could be an infinite amount of papers in there for all we know. I simply presented them only so that the court could better understand your baseless conjecture!… I suppose the order of the books do seem out of the ordinary. However, therein lies not just one possibility. Clearly, those are Japanese graphic novels, also known as “manga”. And the Batman comic book is a graphic novel, too, no?Seeing as it currently has only graphic novels in the shelf, it is possible that any other novels have simply not yet been restocked. Asserting whether or not this effect was deliberate is useless– there is no way of knowing if the photographer and the captioner are the same person, let alone their involvement in this picture.Face it Wright, you can’t prove any of these groundless accusations! Did everyone just ignore the library sticker?

dracophile: randomthingieshere: pheenixwright: invenblocker: pheenixwright: invenblocker: pheenixwright: invenblocker: forthefuns: ...

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Beautiful, God, and Love: You can't parse [X]HTML with regex. Because HTML can't be parsed by regex. Regex is not a tool that can be used to correctly parse HTML. As I have answered in HTML-and-regex questions here so many times before, the use of regex will not allow you to consume HTML. Regular expressions are a tool that is insufficiently sophisticated to understand the constructs employed by HTML. HTML is not a regular language and hence cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Regex queries are not equipped to break down HTML into its meaningful parts. so many times but it is not getting to me. Even enhanced irregular regular expressions as used by Perl are not up to the task of parsing HTML. You will never make me crack. HTML is a language of sufficient complexity that it cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Even Jon Skeet cannot parse HTML using regular expressions Every time you attempt to parse HTML with regular expressions, the unholy child weeps the blood of virgins, and Russian hackers pwn your webapp. Parsing HTML with regex summons tainted souls into the realm of the living. HTML and regex go together like love, marriage, and ritual infanticide The <center> cannot hold it is too late. The force of regex and HTML together in the same conceptual space will destroy your mind like so much watery putty. If you parse HTML with regex you are giving in to Them and their blasphemous ways which doom us all to inhuman toil for the One whose Name cannot be expressed in the Basic Multilingual Plane, he comes. HTML-plus regexp will liquify the neryes of the sentient whilst you observe, your psyche withering in the onslaught of horror. Regex-based HTML parsers are the cancer that is killing StackOverflow it is too late it is too late we cannot be saved the trangession of a child ensures regex will consume all living tissue (except for HTML which it cannot, as previously prophesied) dear lord help us how car anyone survive this scourge using regex to parse HTML has doomed humanity to an eternity of dread torture and security holes using regex as a tool to process HTML establishes a breach between this world and the dread realm of cörrupt entities (like SGML entities, but more corrupt) a mere glimpse of the world of regex parsers for HTML will instantly transport a programmer's consciousness into a world of ceaseless screaming, he comes,the pestilent slithy regex-infection wil I devour your HTML parser, application and existence for all time like Visual Bąsic only worse he comes he comes do not fight he comes, his unholy radiance destroying all enlightenment, HTML tags leakjng frqm your eyes/like liquid pain, the song of regular expressien parsing-will extinguish the voices of mortal man from the sphgre I can see it can you see i it is beautiful the f inal 4421 snuf fing of the lies of Man ALL IS LOST ALL IS LOST the pory he comes he comese comes tge ichor permeates all MY FACE MY F Fish god no NO NOOOO ΝΘ stop the anges . ạre not rea) ZALGo is TOM) THE PONY HEgOMES Unicöde
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Bad, Facts, and Friends: adenas-el-amin: facts-i-just-made-up: gabriel-patches-titanfeather: sixpenceee: These swimming pools with black tiles are my aesthetic.  Make the black tiles out of that black material that absorbs all light and swim over the void. Fun fact about Vantablack- Because it absorbs all light, it heats up very fast. If exposed to direct sunlight, it takes in all the UV and heat and contains them, and can reach heats well over 212°F, the boiling point of water. So if you did coat the pool in that material, the water would boil as soon as the sun touched it, killing everyone swimming in it. But that’s not all. The flash boiling of an entire pool of chlorinated water would release the chlorine as gas, which would kill everyone within a 200ft radius of the pool. And it doesn’t end there. The release of chlorine gas combined with the heat of the black tiles would be more than sufficient to fuse the boiled hydrogen ions with the chlorine, creating an explosive reaction with the nitrogen in the air. So shortly after everyone in the pool boils and everyone around the pool dies of chlorine gas poisoning, the region would explode with the force of a small atomic bomb (8kt for a pool like those pictured above), leveling about 50 city blocks. You’d think that would be bad enough, but get this- Such chemical explosions expel gamma rays. Gamma rays ionize hematite, which is the mineral from which the black material mentioned is made. This creates Scopohyoscpnol, a compound known as “The Zombie Drug” because it essentially erases the brain and induces cannibalistic tendencies in its victim. It can be transmitted through saliva, infecting all who are bitten within hours. So basically, if you did have Vantablack tiles in your pool, you would boil your friends, poison your neighbors, nuke your city, and condemn the globe to a zombie plague. But to be fair, it would look pretty cool. username. read the username.

adenas-el-amin: facts-i-just-made-up: gabriel-patches-titanfeather: sixpenceee: These swimming pools with black tiles are my aesthetic.  ...

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9/11, America, and Dad: December 20, 2018 Dear Mr. President: I have been privileged to serve as our country's 26th Secretary of Defense which has allowed me to serve alongside our men and women of the Department in defense of our citizens and our ideals I am proud of the progress that has been made over the past two years on some of the key goals articulated in our National Defense Strategy: putting the Department on a more sound budgetary footing, improving readiness and lethality in our forces, and reforming the Department's business practices for greater performance. Our troops continue to provide the capabilities needed to prevail in conflict and sustain strong U.S. global influence One core belief I have always held is that our strength as a nation is inextricably linked to the strength of our unique and comprehensive system of alliances and partnerships. While the US remains the indispensable nation in the free world, we cannot protect our interests or serve that role effectively without maintaining strong alliances and showing respect to thos allies. Like you, I have said from the beginning that the armed forces of the United States should not be the policeman of the world. Instead, we must use all tools of American power to provide for the common defense, including providing effective leadership to our alliances NATO's 29 democracies demonstrated that strength in their commitment to fighting alongsid us following the 9-11 attack on America. The Defeat-ISIS coalition of 74 nations is further proof. Similarly, I believe we must be resolute and unambiguous in our approach to those countries whose strategic interests are increasingly in tension with ours. It is clear that China and Russia, for example, want to shape a world consistent with their authoritarian model gaining veto authority over other nations' economic, diplomatic, and security decisions -to promote their own interests at the expense of their neighbors, America and our allies. That is why we must use all the tools of American power to provide for the common defense My views on treating allies with respect and also being clear-eyed about both malign actors and strategic competitors are strongly held and informed by over four decades o immersion in these issues. We must do everything possible to advance an international order that is most conducive to our security, prosperity and values, and we are strengthened in this effort by the solidarity of our alliances Because you have the right to have a Secretary of Defense whose views are better aligned with yours on these and other subjects, I believe it is right for me to step down from my position. The end date for my tenure is February 28, 2019, a date that should allow sufficient time for a successor to be nominated and confirmed as well as to make sure the Department's interests are properly articulated and protected at upcoming events to include Congressional Dad’s resignation letter.

Dad’s resignation letter.

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Dad, Hungry, and Scholar: dragonpuppies Elizabethan Peasant 1: Look yonder! Someone has writ upon that ceiling that thou art most easily gulled! Elizabethan Peasant 2: More fool they, for I cannot read Elizabethan Peasant 1: sighing, lowers his visage unto his palm* amityravenclawelf Elizabethan Peasant 1: Lo, hast thou learned to read? Elizabethan Peasant 2: Verily, and to compose as well Elizabethan Peasant 1: With haste, then, how is the word "i cup" composed? hi-def-doritos Elizabethan Peasant 1: what ho, I know a sporting jest! What art thou when thou art a peasant and art occupied in a privy? Elizabethan Peasant 2: I wist not, but certain am I that thou shalt tell me speedily. Elizabethan Peasant 1: Most verily, thou art a peon. little-niggah-sugar Elizabethan Child: Father, I have not yet broken fast and am filled with pangs of hunger Elizabethan Father: Hail, Filled With Pangs Of Hunger! Mine own name is Wybert marzipanandminutiae Elizabethan Scholar 1: Alack, I have in my purse but sixty-nine pence Elizabethan Scholar 2: Lusty fellow, knowst thou well what such a sum portends! Elizabethan Scholar 1 .I have not sufficient to sup on fowl ur-friendly-local-memer Elizabethan Scholar 1: Mine name is verily Micheal with a 'b', and I hast been afraid of insects mine entire Elizabethan Scholar 2: Cease cease cease. Wither is the bee? Elizabethan Scholar 1: Thither is a bee? vampyrewhore Mine outspoke companion: how many Appels art havested from a tree? Me: I know not, may it be twice a score? My companion: Nay fool, every Appel grows upona harvest sprig! Me: Frederich, upon the heavens I will strike thee down, for thy scalding wit is naught to my mighty brawn Source: dragonpuppies 86,585 notes Hi hungry, Im Dad
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Beautiful, God, and Love: You can't parse [X]HTML with regex. Because HTML can't be parsed by regex. Regex is not a tool that can be used to correctly parse HTML. As I have answered in HTML-and-regex questions here so many times before, the use of regex will not allow you to consume HTML. Regular expressions are a tool that is insufficiently sophisticated to understand the constructs employed by HTML. HTML is not a regular language and hence cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Regex queries are not equipped to break down HTML into its meaningful parts. so many times but it is not getting to me. Even enhanced irregular regular expressions as used by Perl are not up to the task of parsing HTML. You will never make me crack. HTML is a language of sufficient complexity that it cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Even Jon Skeet cannot parse HTML using regular expressions. Every time you attempt to parse HTML with regular expressions, the unholy child weeps the blood of virgins, and Russian hackers pwn your webapp. Parsing HTML with regex summons tainted souls into the realm of the living. HTML and regex go together like love, marriage, and ritual infanticide The <center> cannot hold it is too late. The force of regex and HTML together in the same conceptual space will destroy your mind like so much watery putty. If you parse HTML with regex you are giving in to Them and their blasphemous ways which doom us all to inhuman toil for the One whose Name cannot be expressed in the Basic Multilingual Plane, he comes. HTML-plus regexp will liquify the neryes of the sentient whilst you observe, your psyche withering in the onslaught of horror. Regēx-based HTML parsers are the cancer that is killing StackOverflow it is too late it is too late we cannot be saved the trangession of a child ensures regex will consume all living tissue (except for HTML which it cannot, as previously prophesied) dear lord help us how can anyone survive this scourge using regex to parse HTML has doomed humanity to an eternity of dread torture and security holes using regex as a tool to process HTML establishes a breach between this world and the dread realm of corrupt entities (like SGML entities, but more corrupt) a mere glimpse of the world of regex parsers for HTML will instantly transport a programmer's consciousness into a world of ceaseless screaming, he comes, the pestilent-slithy regex-infection wil I devour your HTML parser, application and existence for all time like Visual Basic only worse he comes he comes do not fight he comøs, his unholy radiañcé destroying all enlightenment, HTML tags leaking from your eyeslike liquid pain, the song of regular expressien parsing-will extinguish the voices of mortal man from the sphgre I can see it can you see ft it is beautiful the f inal snuf fing of the lies of Man ALL ISLOSTALL IS LOST the pony h comes he com t egichor permeates al My FACE tyEACE b god no NO NOOOO NO stop the an les are not 4422 DA Have you tried using an XML parser instead? How do I replace XHTML tags with RegEx?
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Animals, Children, and Dating: 19:08 f Okay, so propaganda has already taken over, and the news and media blackout isn't helping the sanitization and colorization that western media has already fallen victim to, so l'm just gonna give you the breakdown asl know it: 05:46 Protests started a week ago after 2 kids got run over and killed by a bus. Protests were peaceful with most kids (ages 10-18) taking over the jobs that cops are supposed to be doing instead of taking bribes and scratching their asses. 05:47 At first, they led to runaway traffic, but over 2-3 days, they established a radical improvements in traffic control and safety, clearing up the roads that were previously horrendously chaotic. Not a single civilian had a complaint. No uproars, no violence, nothing. Probably the best civil movement in the history of this country... all by children 05:48 The blame for the prevailing lack of safety and order was rightfully placed on a senion government official - one of the most corrupt and evil of the bunch: the shipping minister. He fueled the civilian's outrage by citing accidents irn neighboring countries and sidestepped the issue quite shamelessly 05:50 Civilians called for his discharge, and students demanded traffic system reforms to ensure safety and alleviation of chaos 05:51 And that's when things started going South 05:51 Message 19:08 f And that's when things started going South. 05-51 The government tasked the BCL - their student activist wing - with"reasoning" with these kids Now these BCL animals are well known terrorists, with a track record of violence, rape, torture, vandalism, etc. etc. dating back almost three decades. 05:53 They reasoned with the kids alright. By shooting at them and striking them with machetes and metal bars. All while being protected by the police - who themselves shot at the kids with beanbags and choked them with teargas grenades. 05:54 Reports are all over the place. It didn't take long for the government to have the cell providers shut down all mobile internet services, so photoS and videos are few and far between. Facebook is the most popular social media platform, but it's heavily monitored and censored 05:55 Several nundred children and young adults hospitalized - some in critical condition, some requiring amputations, most severely injured Several children are still missing 05:56 Eyewitness accounts without sufficient evidence (but I wouldn't put it past these BCL animals) 3 school boys were murdered on the spot with guns and machetes. Four school girls were abducted and gang raped 05:58 One boy had his eyes gouged out in front of Message 19:08 f One boy had his eyes gouged out in front of hundreds of other children. (Some evidence present) 05:58 Several women. including a reporter, have been molested and abused by BCL pigs. (Confirmed and evidenced) 05:58 Reporters at the scenes were brútally beaten, had their equipment destroyed, and threatened with death 05:59 The government run hospitals have refused admission to students of any kind, some have completely shut down. Some privately-run hospitals are struggling with the influx of injuries and deaths, but they re being forced by the government to deny treatment 06:00 Med students and interns in one private hospital have taken to the streets in protest, for not being allowed to treat children in dire situations because of orders from higher-up 06:01 Last night police raided a large residential area which houses families as well as students of the neighboring private universities - the police were formed in their usual riot configuration, but only this time, hundreds of BCL thugs were lined up behind them 06:02 No reports from the situation there yet. 06:02 and that's all I got so fa .02 Message 19:09 f Beating children to death and disability - direct violation of basic human rights and international law 15:06 This shit is fucked 15:06 All being executed by the government and law enforcement. I think they're raiding homes tonight They did last night in one small region. But it 15:06 15:06 might go city wide tonight. I've been hearing stuff Go on twitter. Look up #WeWantJustice . We are begging the rest of the world to spread 15:07 . 15:07 15:08 15:08 the message, images, videos, everything ... 15:08 l he media blackout here has silenced any online presence the real situation has 15:08 No one knows what's actually happening. Not even ourselves 15:09 Message [Serious] This is happening RIGHT NOW in Bangladesh
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Bored, Life, and Love: updatebug Can you even imagine being the poor alien sod responsible for auditing an earthling spaceship's spending allowance? Like "I see, and why do you require many tubes of white plant flavoured paste?" "Oh well, if we don't rub that on our teeth twice daily the bacteria living in my mouth will begin to devour me teeth Noted." "I have also noticed several large shipments of specific medications, and a variety of individually packaged absorbent material - however injury records do not show sufficient numbers to justify these recurrent deliveries." "Ah, yeah, it's not really an injury per say. As part of our natural reproductive cycle approximately half the population will shed the lining of one of their internal organs and expel it" .. that is the most horrifying thing that I have ever heard." Yeah." "Does such a process not hurt?" That'l be what the medication's for. Pain killers for the cramps, birth control to stop the process." and your reasoning behind the fully functional, high-tech entertainment system?" "Okay, that we could probably do without. But in our defence that was actually insisted on as a standard feature of all fleet-ships expected to encounter Terrans. Admiral Plo'Kaght insisted on it. Something about bored humans and a an illegal betting ring featuring a cleaning robot with a knife strapped to it going up against a human with a mop?" ..I believe I should speak with my superiors." batzendrick I love how Stabby the Roomba has become such a consistent in-joke among these sorts of blogs tumblunni Galactic hero stabby the roomba: his legend continues brunhiddensmusings you cant tell me that if in fifty years we actually have scpaceship crews and not one of the dorks in space would remember stabby as the best possible joke to bring into space. even if stabby the roomba has been forgotten humans will immediately create some other harmlessly violent robotic equivalent and then be surprised their grandparents joked about the same thing back in 2017 insanity-keeps-things-fun Stabby will outlive us all Source: updatebug 55,580 notes Jun 27th, 2018 I hope life imitates HFY fiction someday

I hope life imitates HFY fiction someday

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