Evenement
Evenement

Evenement

With
With

With

Arouse
Arouse

Arouse

Scans
Scans

Scans

Deadly
Deadly

Deadly

Scanning
Scanning

Scanning

Pussys
Pussys

Pussys

The Shit
The Shit

The Shit

Sugar Walls
Sugar Walls

Sugar Walls

Arousing
Arousing

Arousing

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A Dream, Click, and Fake: Do you want to know something that people don't tell you about being married for a long time? You actually do run out of things to talk about I know you might think I am kidding, but I am being a million percent truthsies over here. As a child, I always wondered what married people talked about, and was assured by many a family member that there were always things to discuss This is a lie. A big, fat one. It's really unfortunate that no one was truthful with me, because here I am with nothing to say and completely unprepared on how to deal. My husband and I go on a weekly date night and after I go into detail about my wild day working from home (I ate a Lean Cuisine, I answered three emails, I found a dollar in the wash), I have nothing. The other day I started to tell my husband about this super interesting thing that had happened, but then I was like, "oh never mind, I'm saving that for our date tonight" and he's like "um, WHAT?" and I was like, "well, when I've got something good I save it for date night so I have something to talk about. It seems like such a waste to spend it on a regular day. So then he thought that was one of the weirdest things he's ever heard about, which I assumed maybe HE already did that too? But he was like, "No, people do not do that." It's like I don't know how to be a person the right way sometimes. Every now and again my husband will ask "did you bake anything today, hon?" and ifI made Créme Bruleé Brownies I say "nope" because I'm hiding them and don't want to share. These fudgy little bites of bliss are covered in a thick vanilla custard that slices up like a dream. A sprinkling of sugar and a run under the broiler gets that caramelized, crackly top. Basically, these are perfect and you need them right now. That is all benepla: kramergate: I love it when I click on a recipe link because it sounds yummy and instead of a recipe I get a several page dissertation on a food blogger’s boredom with her marriage and lies she was told in childhood this ending in a recipe literally changed my fucking life i thought i was being spread some fucking truisms abt the ugliness of marriage but it was literally a preamble to creme brulee brownies. writing is fake
Advice, Bless Up, and Christmas: Just happy to see you 2018-1 WE MADE IT, LOVE BUGS. I AM SO DAMN PROUD OF YALL. IT’S BASICALLY CHRISTMAS WHICH MEAN TOMORROW IS BASICALLY FERRUARY 😂. REMEMBER...DO *NOT* MAKE THE MISTAKE OF BEING TOO AMBITIOUS IN THE NEW YEAR AND SETTING TOO MANY GOALS U CANT MEET SO THAT U FEEL LIKE TRASH BY SUMMER. A WORD OF ADVICE FROM RAY DALLIO WHO FOUNDED THE MOST SUCCESSFUL HEDGE FUND IN HISTORY (Bridgewater). PULL OUT A SHEET OF PAPER. LIST THREE THINGS ABOUT YOURSELF YOU WANT TO CHANGE IN ONE COLUMN. IN THE COLUMN ON THE RIGHT OF THAT, LIST CONCRETE STEPS U WILL TAKE TO GET THERE. FORGET ABOUT MATERIAL GOALS “wanna move out of my house bc can’t stand my crazy a$$ mom” AYEEE ... I BEEN THERE 😂. INSTEAD, LIST “strained relationship with mom.” IN THE RIGHT COLUMN, LIST THINGS U MIGHT COULD DO TO FIX IT: “be patient. Listen when she wilds out and go full Kanye bipolar on me. Reassure her.” U FEEL ME? OR MAYBE “finally get healthy.” AND THEN STEPS: “cut out white sugar. Work out twice per week on Saturday and Sunday when I have no excuse not to.” ETC. U FEEL ME? DONT LIST MORE THAN 3. THEN KEEP THAT PAPER WITH YOU AND TRACK PROGRESS. AIGHT? I LOVE YALL. THE START OF A SOLAR YEAR IS HELLA ARBITRARY 😂. FAM... NOBODY USED TO TO EVEN CARE ABOUT THE SUN. PPL FOLLOWED THE MOVEMENT OF THE MOON WHICH IS FAR MORE CONSISTENT. DOESNT MATTER. WHAT MATTERS IS THAT U SET REASONABLE GOALS AND MAKE AND PLAN AND TRACK PROGRESS. I HAVE FAITH IN YALL!! BLESS UP ❤️ (Slide 4: u-FightingGoldenDevils. Slide 5: u-TimTheToothNinja. slide 6: SpecCRA. Slide 7: slide 7: PolishedPup. Slide 8: Jangos34. Slide 9: HonestRoutine.)
Ass, Bitch, and Fucking: dick-rider-dave-strider: strangelyobsessedwithstuff: vialsofbrightforgettingpowders: ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN SO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH. NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED. PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITH A BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE. NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS POST FOR AGESthanks for the tip karkat reference