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    Big Dick, Chill, and Church: ITT: Glorious Retards
 >be me
 mormonfag
 church boring as fuck
 not really that interested in going, its a cult, mostly do it for
 my family
 hate testimony week
 basically open mic day once a week at church
 people go up and are supposed to talk about how great
 god is or whatever, generally just talk about how great they
 are and what vacation they went on last
 literally just a big dick measuring contest
 new family moves into ward
 pretty unusual situation: single dad, downie kid. we learned
 way later that he accidentally got a girl pregnant, she
 wanted to abort downie, he said he'd raise the baby himself
 rather than see that happen.
 not sure if i agree with it, but gotta admit, that's honorable
 as fuck
 downies a good kid too, sweet as can be, not as dumb as
 you'd think
 anyway
 testimony week comes around, dreading it
 first guy goes up, starts talking about how he baptized a lot
 of people on his mission
 >am rolling my eyes in five dimensions when I heard downie
 roar from across the room
 "TEHTIMONEY WEEK IS FOHR TEHTIMONEYS! NOE!"
 room goes quiet, guy wraps up quickly, sits down
 people tell actual wholesome stuff, they fear the downie.
 no dick measuring with him around
 next week similar thing happens: woman goes up to talk
 about how much she loves her husband, and how he took
 the whole family on a trip to mexico recently
 Downie interrupts
 "TEHTIMONEY! WEEK! IS! FOHR! TEHTIMONEYS! NOE!"
 lady sits down, normal talking goes on, im officially
 borderline gay for downie
 later talking with my edgelord apostate friends, we all talk
 about how downie is the best thing to happen to this ward
 ever
 we find downie and thank him for keeping it real. his dad
 is super touched that we all stopped by, we all make sure
 to thank downie for his interruptions and tell him to keep it
 real
 we thought maybe his dad would be annoyed that we were
 encouraging this, but his dad was chill as could be
 6.5 kB JPG

 33 min. ago.
 Anonymous | 44806137
 cont
 next week, Downey takes it up a notclh
 mormon services have two or three talks a servic, all done by volunteers, but
 the talks can suuuuuuck
 worst ones are when old people/newly returned missionaries are asked to talk
 and they ramble for an hour and a half
 old lady is going on and on about growing up in the great depression. we're all
 about to go insane when downie stands up
 YOU TAHK TOO LON, OTHER SPEACHERS NEED TO TAHK TOO
 lady wraps up
 we're all in fucking awe of this god among us
 anytime somebody rambles, or tries to humblebrag, downie calls them out
 its fucking amazing
 >church is still a cult but its actually kind of fun now with downie there
 me and my edgelord friends keep an eye on him, nobody fucks with our downie
 we get near the end of HS when downie has a heart attack
 we all visit him in the hospital. we fucking love him
 >he survived the heart attack, but he just may not have a whole lot of time left.
 the sunday, the dad announces that him and his son are going to be moving out
 of state. wants to show his son more of the world before he dies.
 me and my friends go to downies house to say goodbye, tell him we're going to
 miss him so much, testimoney week is going to turn back to shit with him gone
 downie asks if he can tell us a secret
 we say sure, you can tell us anything
 "Dah tole me wat to say all those times.
 >mfw his dad originally used his retarded son as a way to ignore social
 conventions and tell people to stfu, but wound up continuing to do it for years
 because he knew it was helping him have friends.
 >mfw when im not sure if his dad is an asshole or a genius
 >mfw I don't even care anymore, I still think fondly of that glorious downie
 bastard yelling at old ladies from the back of the chapel
 1 REPLY
Anon goes to church
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                
                    Big Dick, Chill, and Church: ITT: Glorious Retards
 >be me
 mormonfag
 church boring as fuck
 not really that interested in going, its a cult, mostly do it for
 my family
 hate testimony week
 basically open mic day once a week at church
 people go up and are supposed to talk about how great
 god is or whatever, generally just talk about how great they
 are and what vacation they went on last
 literally just a big dick measuring contest
 new family moves into ward
 pretty unusual situation: single dad, downie kid. we learned
 way later that he accidentally got a girl pregnant, she
 wanted to abort downie, he said he'd raise the baby himself
 rather than see that happen.
 not sure if i agree with it, but gotta admit, that's honorable
 as fuck
 downies a good kid too, sweet as can be, not as dumb as
 you'd think
 anyway
 testimony week comes around, dreading it
 first guy goes up, starts talking about how he baptized a lot
 of people on his mission
 >am rolling my eyes in five dimensions when I heard downie
 roar from across the room
 "TEHTIMONEY WEEK IS FOHR TEHTIMONEYS! NOE!"
 room goes quiet, guy wraps up quickly, sits down
 people tell actual wholesome stuff, they fear the downie.
 no dick measuring with him around
 next week similar thing happens: woman goes up to talk
 about how much she loves her husband, and how he took
 the whole family on a trip to mexico recently
 Downie interrupts
 "TEHTIMONEY! WEEK! IS! FOHR! TEHTIMONEYS! NOE!"
 lady sits down, normal talking goes on, im officially
 borderline gay for downie
 later talking with my edgelord apostate friends, we all talk
 about how downie is the best thing to happen to this ward
 ever
 we find downie and thank him for keeping it real. his dad
 is super touched that we all stopped by, we all make sure
 to thank downie for his interruptions and tell him to keep it
 real
 we thought maybe his dad would be annoyed that we were
 encouraging this, but his dad was chill as could be
 6.5 kB JPG

 33 min. ago.
 Anonymous | 44806137
 cont
 next week, Downey takes it up a notclh
 mormon services have two or three talks a servic, all done by volunteers, but
 the talks can suuuuuuck
 worst ones are when old people/newly returned missionaries are asked to talk
 and they ramble for an hour and a half
 old lady is going on and on about growing up in the great depression. we're all
 about to go insane when downie stands up
 YOU TAHK TOO LON, OTHER SPEACHERS NEED TO TAHK TOO
 lady wraps up
 we're all in fucking awe of this god among us
 anytime somebody rambles, or tries to humblebrag, downie calls them out
 its fucking amazing
 >church is still a cult but its actually kind of fun now with downie there
 me and my edgelord friends keep an eye on him, nobody fucks with our downie
 we get near the end of HS when downie has a heart attack
 we all visit him in the hospital. we fucking love him
 >he survived the heart attack, but he just may not have a whole lot of time left.
 the sunday, the dad announces that him and his son are going to be moving out
 of state. wants to show his son more of the world before he dies.
 me and my friends go to downies house to say goodbye, tell him we're going to
 miss him so much, testimoney week is going to turn back to shit with him gone
 downie asks if he can tell us a secret
 we say sure, you can tell us anything
 "Dah tole me wat to say all those times.
 >mfw his dad originally used his retarded son as a way to ignore social
 conventions and tell people to stfu, but wound up continuing to do it for years
 because he knew it was helping him have friends.
 >mfw when im not sure if his dad is an asshole or a genius
 >mfw I don't even care anymore, I still think fondly of that glorious downie
 bastard yelling at old ladies from the back of the chapel
 1 REPLY
Anon goes to church
                    
                
            

            
            
Anon goes to church

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                




    America, Baltimore Ravens, and Indianapolis Colts: The First-Ever Male NFL
 Cheerleaders Will Be Joining
 Los Angles Rams
 @balleralert
 NEWS
 ANGELE
The First-Ever Male NFL Cheerleaders Will Be Joining Los Angeles Rams - Blogged by: @RaquelHarrisTV ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Men are joining the NFL, not as players but as the first male cheerleaders to do so. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ QuintonPeron and NapoleanJinnie are the two California natives who are making history as NFL’s first male cheerleaders. The two classically trained dancers surpassed a strenuous auditioning process and made it to the 2018 squad for the Los Angeles Rams. They were chosen from 76 finalists. On Wednesday, they joined the Good Morning America table to share the news. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ When discussing their journey, Peron shared that he should be able to participate like anyone else. "I thought, 'Why not me? Why can't I do this?' And called my friend and I asked her when auditions were for the Rams and she told me Sunday [March 11] and I showed up," Peron said. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ LA Rams cheer captain EmilyLeibert said the two simply fit in. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “They really just fit the bill to be a Los Angeles Rams cheerleader. They are intelligent, they are eloquent, they are more than qualified to be ambassadors out in the community. They bring so much energy and there’s something so magnetic about their performance, you really can’t take your eyes off them.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ While the Baltimore Ravens and Indianapolis Colts have stuntmen, this will be the first time males have ever danced alongside females on a professional NFL cheerleading team.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                
                    America, Baltimore Ravens, and Indianapolis Colts: The First-Ever Male NFL
 Cheerleaders Will Be Joining
 Los Angles Rams
 @balleralert
 NEWS
 ANGELE
The First-Ever Male NFL Cheerleaders Will Be Joining Los Angeles Rams - Blogged by: @RaquelHarrisTV ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Men are joining the NFL, not as players but as the first male cheerleaders to do so. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ QuintonPeron and NapoleanJinnie are the two California natives who are making history as NFL’s first male cheerleaders. The two classically trained dancers surpassed a strenuous auditioning process and made it to the 2018 squad for the Los Angeles Rams. They were chosen from 76 finalists. On Wednesday, they joined the Good Morning America table to share the news. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ When discussing their journey, Peron shared that he should be able to participate like anyone else. "I thought, 'Why not me? Why can't I do this?' And called my friend and I asked her when auditions were for the Rams and she told me Sunday [March 11] and I showed up," Peron said. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ LA Rams cheer captain EmilyLeibert said the two simply fit in. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “They really just fit the bill to be a Los Angeles Rams cheerleader. They are intelligent, they are eloquent, they are more than qualified to be ambassadors out in the community. They bring so much energy and there’s something so magnetic about their performance, you really can’t take your eyes off them.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ While the Baltimore Ravens and Indianapolis Colts have stuntmen, this will be the first time males have ever danced alongside females on a professional NFL cheerleading team.
                    
                    

                    
                
            

            
            
The First-Ever Male NFL Cheerleaders Will Be Joining Los Angeles Rams - Blogged by: @RaquelHarrisTV ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Men are joining the ...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                




    America, Anaconda, and Basketball: Battle Of The Grannies: Jalen Rose's 100-Year-
 Old Grandma Calls Out Loyola-Chicago's Sister
 Jean Ahead of Saturday Night's March Madnes:s
 Match-Up: "ts Over @balleralert
 35
 MICHIGAN
 RASKETRA
Battle Of The Grannies: Jalen Rose’s 100-Year-Old Grandma Calls Out Loyola-Chicago’s Sister Jean Ahead of Saturday Night’s March Madness Match-Up: “It’s Over” – blogged by @MsJennyb (swipe) ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ As the 2018 NCAA Division I Men’s Basketball Tournament comes to an end, the beef between fans of the final four is heating up. However, with the unexpected success of the No. 11 seed, and the subsequent rise to fame of the team’s 98-year-old chaplain, fans are ready to knock the team off its high horse. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ In fact, former Michigan basketball star Jalen Rose’s 100-year-old grandmother is not here for the Cinderella story. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ On Sunday night, Mary Belle Hicks took to Instagram to share a message with America’s newest celebrity, Sister Jean. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “Sister Jean, it’s been a good ride,” Hicks said. “But it’s over Saturday. Go Blue.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Loyola-Chicago is set to face off against the No. 3 seed, Michigan in the last games before the championship. But, who live to battle it out for the championship game?
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                
                    America, Anaconda, and Basketball: Battle Of The Grannies: Jalen Rose's 100-Year-
 Old Grandma Calls Out Loyola-Chicago's Sister
 Jean Ahead of Saturday Night's March Madnes:s
 Match-Up: "ts Over @balleralert
 35
 MICHIGAN
 RASKETRA
Battle Of The Grannies: Jalen Rose’s 100-Year-Old Grandma Calls Out Loyola-Chicago’s Sister Jean Ahead of Saturday Night’s March Madness Match-Up: “It’s Over” – blogged by @MsJennyb (swipe) ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ As the 2018 NCAA Division I Men’s Basketball Tournament comes to an end, the beef between fans of the final four is heating up. However, with the unexpected success of the No. 11 seed, and the subsequent rise to fame of the team’s 98-year-old chaplain, fans are ready to knock the team off its high horse. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ In fact, former Michigan basketball star Jalen Rose’s 100-year-old grandmother is not here for the Cinderella story. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ On Sunday night, Mary Belle Hicks took to Instagram to share a message with America’s newest celebrity, Sister Jean. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “Sister Jean, it’s been a good ride,” Hicks said. “But it’s over Saturday. Go Blue.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Loyola-Chicago is set to face off against the No. 3 seed, Michigan in the last games before the championship. But, who live to battle it out for the championship game?
                    
                
            

            
            
Battle Of The Grannies: Jalen Rose’s 100-Year-Old Grandma Calls Out Loyola-Chicago’s Sister Jean Ahead of Saturday Night’s March Madness Mat...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        
        
        

            

                




    Family, Memes, and Money: Street Vendor Robbed and Brutally
 Beaten in South Los Angeles
 By Christine Kim
 Públished at 6:40 PM PDT on Mar 18, 2018 | Updated 2 hours ago
 1.7k
 Justice for Pedro! Please
 donate: bit.ly/justice4pedro
Please Donate! 💜🙏🏽🙇🏾‍♀️ LINK in our BIO! @UndocuMedia. . If you made a donation COMMENT “Done ✔️" . Via NBC News: "A family is pleading for the public’s help after their loved one – a street vendor - was robbed and brutally beaten right before his shift. Pedro Reyes, 54, was among a group of street vendors setting up shop around 5 a.m. Sunday at San Pedro Street and 31st Street in South Los Angeles. Two vehicles pulled up and a group of young men inside demanded money from three street vendors, according to the Los Angeles Police Department. Reyes told detectives he threw his money at the suspects and ran – and that’s when they chased after him and beat him up. His stepson told NBC4 that the group of people knocked out three of Reyes' teeth, cut his throat, fractured his face and left him unconscious. Reyes was the most severely hurt – the other two vendors had minor injuries and were not taken to the hospital. Police say the suspects took money from all three of them, though. Reyes remains hospitalized at California Hospital Medical Center in downtown Los Angeles. He's set to undergo surgery Monday on his face. Speaking from his hospital bed, Reyes said six men attacked him, leaving him unconscious and waking up in the hospital. His stepson said doctors are estimating it will take Reyes at least six months to fully recover from the attack. He does not have health insurance and a GoFundMe has so far raised almost $40,000 for his medical costs. He said his father is a man who works everyday – does roofing six days a week and on Sundays sells fruit. His main worry now is how to support his family. If you would like to donate to a GoFundMe account set up for Pedro Reyes, you may do so here. Note that GoFundMe deducts 2.9 percent of all funds raised, plus 30 cents per donation, in the form of payment processing charges."
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                
                    Family, Memes, and Money: Street Vendor Robbed and Brutally
 Beaten in South Los Angeles
 By Christine Kim
 Públished at 6:40 PM PDT on Mar 18, 2018 | Updated 2 hours ago
 1.7k
 Justice for Pedro! Please
 donate: bit.ly/justice4pedro
Please Donate! 💜🙏🏽🙇🏾‍♀️ LINK in our BIO! @UndocuMedia. . If you made a donation COMMENT “Done ✔️" . Via NBC News: "A family is pleading for the public’s help after their loved one – a street vendor - was robbed and brutally beaten right before his shift. Pedro Reyes, 54, was among a group of street vendors setting up shop around 5 a.m. Sunday at San Pedro Street and 31st Street in South Los Angeles. Two vehicles pulled up and a group of young men inside demanded money from three street vendors, according to the Los Angeles Police Department. Reyes told detectives he threw his money at the suspects and ran – and that’s when they chased after him and beat him up. His stepson told NBC4 that the group of people knocked out three of Reyes' teeth, cut his throat, fractured his face and left him unconscious. Reyes was the most severely hurt – the other two vendors had minor injuries and were not taken to the hospital. Police say the suspects took money from all three of them, though. Reyes remains hospitalized at California Hospital Medical Center in downtown Los Angeles. He's set to undergo surgery Monday on his face. Speaking from his hospital bed, Reyes said six men attacked him, leaving him unconscious and waking up in the hospital. His stepson said doctors are estimating it will take Reyes at least six months to fully recover from the attack. He does not have health insurance and a GoFundMe has so far raised almost $40,000 for his medical costs. He said his father is a man who works everyday – does roofing six days a week and on Sundays sells fruit. His main worry now is how to support his family. If you would like to donate to a GoFundMe account set up for Pedro Reyes, you may do so here. Note that GoFundMe deducts 2.9 percent of all funds raised, plus 30 cents per donation, in the form of payment processing charges."
                    
                
            

            
            
Please Donate! 💜🙏🏽🙇🏾‍♀️ LINK in our BIO! @UndocuMedia. . If you made a donation COMMENT “Done ✔️" . Via NBC News: "A family is pleading for ...