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England, Funny, and Parents: " You are now listening to a three-hour-old chick giving its opinion of things in general." yesterdaysprint: mjsloveslave: yesterdaysprint: Good Morning by the Daily Mirror, England, April 4, 1944 England was at WAR and managed to do this? Really?  Good Morning was actually a paper made by the Daily Mirror just for the men serving on submarines! They were made ahead of time by the Mirror staff and bundled up and numbered for each day, and then the four page paper would be given to the men serving on the submarines every evening.  They had human interest stories, comics, puzzles. Happy stuff. Sometimes the journalists would go visit servicemen’s families and get a picture of their wives and kids or parents or pets, and that’d go in the paper too. Then each day there was usually, among other pictures on the back page, an attractive lady and also a funny animal picture. Here’s a good article about it: The sailors sat tensely waiting to die.  Their boat had been blasted by a depth charge, lost all power and sunk to the ocean floor. Knowing they probably had little time left, the men asked if they might read all the as-yet unseen copies of the daily submariners’ paper currently locked in the safe.  The chief petty officers agreed – how could they not? – and ripped open package after package of editions of ‘Good Morning’, which the ship’s company were soon devouring in the gloom.  Suddenly power was restored, the sailors were saved and the boat surfaced, albeit with her messes spilling over with tabloid newsprint. Amongst the Royal Navy submariners, the paper’s importance cannot be overplayed. “The effect on crew morale was significant,” said Royal Navy Submarine Museum archivist George Malcolmson, who has a complete bound set of every edition that rolled off the presses.“The Daily Mirror stepped in just when the service needed it most.

yesterdaysprint: mjsloveslave: yesterdaysprint: Good Morning by the Daily Mirror, England, April 4, 1944 England was at WAR and managed to ...

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Titanic, Tumblr, and Blog: thedizzywolf: blazepress: If the Titanic sunk today. Whoever made this must be so boring at parties

thedizzywolf: blazepress: If the Titanic sunk today. Whoever made this must be so boring at parties

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Anaconda, At-At, and Bad: theshitpostcalligrapher: morgan1yam: theshitpostcalligrapher: 99daysofr: theshitpostcalligrapher: theshitpostcalligrapher: it fuckin begins my dudes.  for expository context i started working on this bad boy at 1am whilst listening to a fight club audiobook for free on youtube and avoiding readings on international policy so u kno.  same as always.  #why would you dothis to yourself To test my abilities Ok hypothetically speaking how much would it cost for someone to commission something like this. about 3.8 souls on proper conversion rates, but I’m gonna start bidding at around $1500 CAD and we’ll go from there  Okay, so you’re pricing yourself waaaay low there! Not only for the cost of supplies, or time spent making it. But also for the cost on your soul and the cost of this level of quality shitmemeing.You are doing this by hand, and  In most cases, rates for book transcription are approximately $0.01 to $0.20 a word or line, $1 to $3 a page, $10 to $50 an hour, and $5,000 to $20,000 per project, depending on the difficulty of the project and the experience of the transcriptionist. Transcriptionist. Who would just be typing the words out on a keyboard. YOU ARE DOING IT PHYSICALLY. YOU ARE MAKING SHITPOST AAAART. This is effectively the Gregorian tomb of the bee movie, a potential master work. Also, you need to think of how much money you COULD be making during the time that you are spending working on this project. As well as how many months you want to not worry about snacks in the future, or having to pay off the carpel tunnel medication you’ll need for your wrist after this. (Health care is only mostly free.)TLDR: Start your bidding at at least 3 to 5 thousand… at the least. actually i redid the math on this one and you’re actually right. For commissions I charge 35 base plus 20 an hour, with higher base rates if it takes me more than a day in total (100 per day).I can usually do gothic calligraphy at a rate of about 330 characters an hour, give or take. the bee movie is about 40,683 characters in total, which totals me out at roughly 124 hours, rounding up. for just the hourly, that puts us at $2480, but the fact that that total time is over 5 days brings base fee up to 500 dollars. I use black india ink, which i could write whole encyclopedias with with just the 30 dollar bottle i bought 2 years ago, so that’s largely negligible. I use dip nibs which wear like motherfuckers and are always counted as sunk costs bc of how long their work life tends to be. The leather book cost me about 50 bucks after tax. There’s a Canadian tax thing called a “small supplier exemption” whereupon if you have a sole proprietorship entity (ie a small business/freelancing) that makes less than $30,000 a year (which i DEF DO NOT LMAO) you don’t need to register for GST/HST, which is why i don’t charge y’all taxes on stuff. Opportunity cost calculation is tricky, because as sole proprietorship, it’s difficult to quantify the potential gains lost. And in other employment, minimum in my province is 14/hour, and positions w/my degree usually start out at 20/hour anyways so thats a moot point. That totals us out at a starting bid, at cost, of $3030.00 CAD  and of course, for those who feel like it, there’s always a kofi that exists if you would like to donate to and take part in (spiritually at least) of the Tombe Of The Bee efforts
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Anaconda, Fire, and The Worst: able. T% last t ship, she was or fire. A blackened hull sinking beneath the waves We had a deal, Jack contracted you to deliver cargo on my behalf, you chose to liberate it People aren't cargo, mate Andhyou incurred a heavy debt to raise her up again, didn't you? Jack was employed into service for the East India Trading Company and was given command of the Wicked Wench. However, after he set free a cargo of slaves, his employer, Cutler Beckett, had Jack branded as a pirate and the Wench set aflame and sunk. After failing to rescue the Wench, Sparrow struck a bargain with the ghostly captain of the Flying Dutchman, Davy Jones, to resurrect his beloved vessel. Jones returned the ship to Jack in near perfect condition except for the permanently charred hull. This prompted Jack to rename her the Black Pearl (via) Jack Sparrow just got way cooler. BABE Yo, this is why Norrington said he's the worst pirate I've ever heard of" and then Jack followed it up with, "But you have heard of me." Because Jack was branded a Pirate because he freed people rather than stealing anything. So Norrington, with his sense of duty, knows that Jack has been branded a criminal for actively not being a terrible human being. Norrington is torn between his duty as a naval officer and knowing that Jack is right He freed exactly 100 people, that's why his debt to Jones was 100 souls. Davy has a sick sense of irony after all. Jack freed 100 souls and as a consequence his ship got sunk. Now his ship has been raised and as a consequence, he has to enslave 100 souls. This explains his reluctance to actually pay back the debt. VIA THEMETAPICTURE.COM you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com srsfunny:Jack Sparrow Just Got Way Cooler

srsfunny:Jack Sparrow Just Got Way Cooler

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History, Navy, and Japanese: This Day In History: The Japanese Battleship Yamato is sunk by a concentrated US Navy aerial assault on April 7, 1945.

This Day In History: The Japanese Battleship Yamato is sunk by a concentrated US Navy aerial assault on April 7, 1945.

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Bad, Bad Jokes, and Beautiful: HE <p><a href="http://lastsonlost.tumblr.com/post/172136795052/theindependentconservative-lastsonlost" class="tumblr_blog">lastsonlost</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="https://theindependentconservative.tumblr.com/post/172134527769/lastsonlost-heatandapathy" class="tumblr_blog">theindependentconservative</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://lastsonlost.tumblr.com/post/172106090152/heatandapathy-concentrated-sunshine" class="tumblr_blog">lastsonlost</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="https://heatandapathy.tumblr.com/post/172104814701/concentrated-sunshine-shitty-metta-mun" class="tumblr_blog">heatandapathy</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://concentrated-sunshine.tumblr.com/post/172103863265/shitty-metta-mun-goose-juggler-gservator" class="tumblr_blog">concentrated-sunshine</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://shitty-metta-mun.tumblr.com/post/172103123563/goose-juggler-gservator-hott-dogg-mann" class="tumblr_blog">shitty-metta-mun</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://goose-juggler.tumblr.com/post/172102081416/gservator-hott-dogg-mann-lastsonlost" class="tumblr_blog">goose-juggler</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://gservator.tumblr.com/post/172101816471/hott-dogg-mann-lastsonlost" class="tumblr_blog">gservator</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://hott-dogg-mann.tumblr.com/post/172095533311/lastsonlost-wanderingberserker-lastsonlost" class="tumblr_blog">hott-dogg-mann</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://lastsonlost.tumblr.com/post/172094764907/wanderingberserker-lastsonlost-speaking-of" class="tumblr_blog">lastsonlost</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://wanderingberserker.tumblr.com/post/172094692137/lastsonlost-speaking-of-jokes-and-nazis-with" class="tumblr_blog">wanderingberserker</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://lastsonlost.tumblr.com/post/172094647642/speaking-of-jokes-and-nazis-with-comedy-we-can" class="tumblr_blog">lastsonlost</a>:</p> <blockquote> <h2>Speaking of jokes and Nazis….</h2> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="370" data-orig-width="718"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/dffd11705aa681a806c2914d89e712d2/tumblr_inline_p5xi80MvlQ1sp5650_500.jpg" data-orig-height="370" data-orig-width="718"/></figure><h1><b>“With Comedy, We Can Rob Hitler of his Posthumous Power”</b></h1> <p>Jewish comic actor Mel Brooks talks about Hitler as a comical character, the limits of humor and his latest film “The Producers,” which hits screens in Germany and other European countries (that week in 2006.)</p> <p><b>SPIEGEL:</b></p> <p>Mr. Brooks, almost all the rogues in your film have moustaches. Is that the long shadow of Hitler?</p> <p><b>Brooks:</b> You must be joking! Rogues on the screen were already wearing moustaches when Hitler was still running around in short trousers. A cinema villain essentially needs a moustache so he can twiddle with it gleefully as he cooks up his next nasty plan. So Hitler’s incomplete moustache would never have been enough for that.</p> <p><b>SPIEGEL:</b> Your new comedy “The Producers” is set at the end of the 1950s on Broadway and concerns a Nazi musical that breaks box office records. It shows a dancing and singing Hitler. Isn’t that a bit tasteless?</p> <p><b>Brooks:</b> Of course. But it’s also funny, isn’t it? The film revolves around a Broadway producer who, for financial and technical reasons, wants to produce a flop. After he turns down the chance to adapt Kafka’s “The Metamorphosis,” he comes up with the idea of creating a musical about Hitler, produced by the lousiest director in the city, cast with the worst actors by far -– in the middle of the Jewish metropolis of New York. He’s sure it won’t work. Yet because the audience considers the piece to be a brilliant parody, his worst fears are realized, it’s a hit. “The Producers” therefore deals with the difficulty of having a flop. </p> <p><b>SPIEGEL:</b> Which you of course know well yourself. “The Producers” is based on a musical that you produced that ran successfully on Broadway for five years and also on the film “The Producers” that you shot in 1967. How did the audience react to the film back then?</p> <p><b>Brooks:</b> The Jews were horrified. I received resentful letters of protest, saying things like: “How can you make jokes about Hitler? The man murdered 6 million Jews.“ But “The Producers” doesn’t concern a concentration camp or the Holocaust. </p> <p><b>SPIEGEL:</b> Can you really separate Hitler from the Holocaust?</p> <p><b>Brooks:</b> You have to separate it. For example, Roberto Benigni’s comedy “Life Is Beautiful” really annoyed me. A crazy film that even attempted to find comedy in a concentration camp. It showed the barracks in which Jews were kept like cattle, and it made jokes about it. The philosophy of the film is: people can get over anything. No, they can’t. They can’t get over a concentration camp.</p> <p><b>SPIEGEL:</b> But the film has deeply moved a lot of people.</p> <p><b>Brooks:</b> I always asked myself: Tell me, Roberto, are you nuts? You didn’t lose any relatives in the Holocaust, you’re not even Jewish. You really don’t understand what it’s all about. The Americans were incredibly thrilled to discover from him that it wasn’t all that bad in the concentration camps after all. And that’s why they immediately pressed an Oscar into his hand. </p> <p><b>SPIEGEL:</b> So there are limits to humor?</p> <p><b>Brooks:</b> Definitely. In 1974, I produced the western parody “Blazing Saddles,” in which the word “nigger” was used constantly. But I would never have thought of the idea of showing how a black was lynched. It’s only funny when he escapes getting sent to the gallows. You can laugh at Hitler because you can cut him down to normal size.</p> <p><b>SPIEGEL:</b> Can you also get your revenge on him by using comedy?</p> <p><b>Brooks:</b> Yes, absolutely. Of course it is impossible to take revenge for 6 million murdered Jews. But by using the medium of comedy, we can try to rob Hitler of his posthumous power and myths. In doing so, we should remember that Hitler did have some talents. He was able to fool an entire population into letting him be their leader. However, this role was basically a few numbers too great for him –- but he simply covered over this deficiency.</p> <p><b>SPIEGEL:</b> Was he a good actor?</p> <p><b>Brooks:</b> Yes, as he convinced many millions of Germans. It’s not without good reason that comedies about Hitler often concern actors who should play him. Just think about Charlie Chaplin’s “The Great Dictator” (1940) or Ernst Lubitsch’s “To Be or not To Be” (1942). There’s no doubt about it, Hitler worked in the same branch as we do: he created illusions. </p> <p><b>SPIEGEL:</b> In a documentary film about the downfall of the German battleship the Bismarck, US director James Cameron referred to Hitler as the “greatest pop star of his time.“</p> <p><b>Brooks:</b> There’s something in that. Hitler must have had a magnetic attractive force, like a rock star he used his voice to spellbind umpteen thousands of listeners. So it’s only fitting when comic actors make him the limelight hog of world history. We take away from him the holy seriousness that always surrounded him and protected him like a cordon.</p> <p><br/></p> <p><b>SPIEGEL:</b> You yourself fought against the Nazis in Europe in 1945 and came to Berlin just after the end of the war and stayed there for eight months. Could you still feel much of a Hitler reverence?</p> <p><b>Brooks:</b> Everywhere you went you could sense a great relief that the war was finally over. I myself was shaken by the extent of the destruction. When we were transporting away a few prisoners of war in a train, I discovered an old man who looked like my grandfather. He suddenly leaped out of the carriage. I took my rifle and aimed at him. He called (Brooks says in German): “Don’t shoot, I have to shit”. Most of the Germans who survived the war were just poor simple people. Was National Socialism ever taught in German schools?</p> <p><b>SPIEGEL:</b> Yes, and in great detail.</p> <p><b>Brooks:</b> That is comforting to know. When you come to Germany as a Jew you have an uneasy feeling, but I’ve always felt okay in Berlin. It was there that I saw Brecht and Weill’s “Three Penny Opera” and was totally crazy about this kind of musical theater. </p> <p><br/></p> <p><b>SPIEGEL:</b> Have you seen Oliver Hirschbiegels’s film “Downfall”?</p> <p><b>Brooks:</b> Yes, and I thought it was excellent. It shows us Hitler’s self destruction. While Goebbels was idolizing Hitler as the new Christ, like the salvation in the flesh, he was decaying before our very eyes – and all that was needed to illustrate this was a shot of his trembling hand.  </p> <p><b>SPIEGEL:</b> Don’t you think the film humanizes Hitler too much?</p> <p><b>Brooks:</b> No, it doesn’t arouse the slightest bit of sympathy for Hitler. It shows a man who went mad. Let’s face it; he too started off as a small, innocent baby. His monstrous grimace comes across all the more startling when you can sense the paltry remains of his human nature.</p> <p><b>SPIEGEL:</b> Was Hitler funny? Would you have been able to make him laugh?</p> <p><b>Brooks:</b> I have no delusions of grandeur. Hitler would definitely not have smacked himself on the thigh and cried out (Brooks says in German): “What fantastic fun.“ If he had found something funny you’d probably see at the most a flinch in the corner of his mouth.  </p> <p><b>SPIEGEL:</b> You yourself played Hitler in 1983 in your remake of the film “To Be or not To Be”…</p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="130" data-orig-width="240"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/054ed98db8d99065bb0c2d5edafdf864/tumblr_inline_p5xi81rWN21sp5650_500.gif" data-orig-height="130" data-orig-width="240"/></figure><p><b>Brooks:</b> … and I also gave him my voice in a song in “The Producers”.</p> <p><b>SPIEGEL:</b> How does it feel for a <b>JEW</b> to slip into the skin of his greatest enemy?  </p> <p><b>Brooks:</b> It is an inverted seizure of power. For many years Hitler was the most powerful man in the world and almost destroyed us. </p> <h2>To posses this power and turn it against him -– it is simply alluring. </h2> <p><i>Interview conducted by Lars-Olav Beier.</i></p> <h2>&lt;Imagine being able to stand up to Great Evil by laughing in its face.</h2> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="118" data-orig-width="210"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/a79626891f6befc1cdd796f032952869/tumblr_inline_p5xi808Qxb1sp5650_500.gif" data-orig-height="118" data-orig-width="210"/></figure><p>Meanwhile the UK is going full Orwell.</p> <p>What I wouldn’t give for a Mel Brooks to lead Lewis Black Jerry Seinfeld Richard Lewis Larry David Jon Stewart Billy Crystal Ben &amp; Jerry Stiller Garry Shandling Sacha Baron Cohen Lisa Lampanelli and Robert Klein in a conga line of Nazi jokes outside of British Parliament.</p> <p>I’m not really going anywhere with this but I just think it would be hilarious. </p> <p>Also such an event would need a proper host and I can only think of one choice.</p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="134" data-orig-width="240"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/bec1c6c06b335123340a94175c5b2cfa/tumblr_inline_p5xi82H2BL1sp5650_500.gif" data-orig-height="134" data-orig-width="240"/></figure></blockquote> <p>Personal favorite will ALWAYS be John Cleese…</p> <figure class="tmblr-embed tmblr-full" data-provider="youtube" data-orig-width="459" data-orig-height="344" data-url="https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DvlmGknvr_Pg"><iframe width="540" height="405" id="youtube_iframe" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/vlmGknvr_Pg?feature=oembed&amp;enablejsapi=1&amp;origin=https://safe.txmblr.com&amp;wmode=opaque" frameborder="0" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen=""></iframe></figure></blockquote> <p>Always.</p> </blockquote> <p>Mel Brooks is my hero but that black Hitler joke MADE MY FUCKING DAY</p> </blockquote> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="598" data-orig-width="649"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/741893db579a951a6efa891de4345bf4/tumblr_inline_p5y292RoPA1rkd5oa_500.jpg" data-orig-height="598" data-orig-width="649"/></figure></blockquote> <p>Cameron Pierce “Ass Goblins of Auschwitz” is a bizarre fiction book that turns the SS into walking asses.</p> </blockquote> <p>always mock hitler. always.</p> </blockquote> <figure class="tmblr-embed tmblr-full" data-provider="youtube" data-orig-width="459" data-orig-height="344" data-url="https%3A%2F%2Fyoutu.be%2F8c1GhbpObv0"><iframe width="540" height="405" id="youtube_iframe" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/8c1GhbpObv0?feature=oembed&amp;enablejsapi=1&amp;origin=https://safe.txmblr.com&amp;wmode=opaque" frameborder="0" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen=""></iframe></figure></blockquote> <p>People keep forgetting the power of humor. </p> </blockquote> <p>They are too busy being addicted to outrage. </p> <h2><b><i>On an unrelated note………</i></b></h2> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="215" data-orig-width="500"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/2c5f7fba5d805164566b53ee88ee94fb/tumblr_inline_p5ya7pSA2A1sp5650_540.gif" data-orig-height="215" data-orig-width="500"/></figure><p>Its all about the  Brooks baby.</p> </blockquote> <p>Thank God Brooks made the movies when he did, they’d never be made today.</p></blockquote> <p>Laughter is a very powerful weapon against rage hatred and madness and even more powerful tool of love and healing.</p><p>Most kids don’t get that when they’re making angry bitter hateful bad jokes as a “ coping mechanism”. Coping isn’t feeding the poison in your heart. Coping it’s simply coming to terms with it well real healing tries to clean that poison from your very soul.</p></blockquote> <p>Make jokes about Nazis. Make fun of Nazis. Make jokes about Hitler. Mock Nazis. That robs them of their power. Being too afraid to speak of them only makes them feel stronger.</p><p>“Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself.”-Dumbledore.</p><p>For people who constantly reference Harry Potter, I would think that lesson would’ve sunk in.</p>
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Crying, Family, and Guns: Chwistopher @Loudwindow Concept: Pirates slay a monster mermaid to steal its treasure chest. Pirates open chest, finds a sleepy baby mermaid within. Monster mermaid was using the treasure chest as a cradle. Pirates: <p><a href="http://dragonsateyourtoast.tumblr.com/post/169373651900" class="tumblr_blog">dragonsateyourtoast</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="http://otherwindow.tumblr.com/post/169340235270/otherwindow-this-is-how-the-golden-age-of-piracy" class="tumblr_blog">otherwindow</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://otherwindow.tumblr.com/post/169291615220/this-is-how-the-golden-age-of-piracy-ended" class="tumblr_blog">otherwindow</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>This is how the golden age of piracy ended.</p></blockquote> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="677" data-orig-width="1000"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/51eb1c65a8936859a4b9e9ed54eb60d9/tumblr_inline_p22tdbtzyD1qdd180_540.jpg" data-orig-height="677" data-orig-width="1000"/></figure><p>The first mermaid to get tattoos :)</p> </blockquote> <p>“we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?”</p> <p>“kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes.</p> <p>“we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.”</p> <p>“i know.”</p> <p>x</p> <p>“daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.”</p> <p>her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her.</p> <p>“daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor.</p> <p>“don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing.</p> <p>x</p> <p>“father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?”</p> <p>“your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.”</p> <p>she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says.</p> <p>x</p> <p>“why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam.</p> <p>“we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.”</p> <p>she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family.</p> <p>“it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.”</p> <p>x</p> <p>her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.”</p> <p>the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass.</p> <p>“why not?” the mermaid asks.</p> <p>“he’ll win,” the first mate says.</p> <p>the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks.</p> <p>x</p> <p>the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her.</p> <p>“don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.”</p> <p>x</p> <p>the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape.</p> <p>“let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.”</p> <p>they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her.</p> <p>she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings.</p> <p>the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone.</p> <p>x</p> <p>she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea.</p> <p>x</p> <p>“you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her.</p> <p>she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise.</p> <p>“i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.”</p> <p>the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. </p> <p>“we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either.</p> <p>“i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time.</p> <p>“guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.”</p> <p>“without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?”</p> <p>“i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?”</p> <p>“of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.”</p> <p>x</p> <p>the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid.</p> <p>“you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock.</p> <p>the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy.</p> <p>“they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.”</p> <p>“and now?”</p> <p>“they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?”</p> <p>the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.”</p> </blockquote> <p>Yooooo</p>

dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: This is how the golden age of piracy ended. The first mermaid to get tattoos :) “we didn’t...

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Ash, Donald Trump, and Fall: <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://blueboxofsnark.tumblr.com/post/152893665871">blueboxofsnark</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://exchristiantimelord.tumblr.com/post/152887463970">exchristiantimelord</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://fallenangelmuse.tumblr.com/post/152883294045">fallenangelmuse</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://theskaldspeaks.tumblr.com/post/152881355209">theskaldspeaks</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://naamahdarling.tumblr.com/post/152873852016">naamahdarling</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://cannibalcoalition.tumblr.com/post/152855112796">cannibalcoalition</a>:</p> <xkit></xkit><blockquote><p>Like to charge, reblog to cast. </p></blockquote> <p>I curse Donald Trump and I curse his ideas.  I invoke the Hex of Obsolescence.<br/></p> <div class="media-holder media-holder-draggable media-holder-figure" contenteditable="false" draggable="true" style="display: block;"> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="1280" data-orig-width="1280"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/529f0ef2d5900d3f379b02eba706b8c8/tumblr_inline_ogao8hurPp1r975cx_540.png" data-img-key="708" data-orig-height="1280" data-orig-width="1280"/></figure><div class="media-button icon_close media-killer"></div> </div> <p>May he be devoured by his own shadow, may his name stick in every throat, may the favoring of him bind to the earth every roving foot until the nail of hatred is pulled, may his ideas twist to lance any hand which will not renounce its greed, may the churned mud of lies clot every closed heart with weakness and fear, may he and his works fall and be devoured by the teeming creatures that feast on rot and putrescence, may his ugliness be sunk into emptiness and ruin, may his name and his word turn to dust and be driven like ash before a fiery wind, never to find rest in any fertile field, nor nourish any fruit.</p> </blockquote> <p>Sure, i’m down to join a tumblr curse.</p> </blockquote> <p>Boi, I’m down with it</p> </blockquote> <p>Let’s fuckin do it </p> </blockquote> <p>Let’s do the thing</p> </blockquote>
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Ass, Family, and Friends: Relatableo @Relatabletxtes Follow If the titanic sunk in 2016 RETWEETS LIKES 5,7097,671 Follow @k-İbrahim15 Replying to @Relatabletxtes The titanic wouldn't sink in 2016 there would be no iceberg in due to climate change and global warming. RETWEETS LIKES 350 E19022 <p><a href="http://madgastronomer.tumblr.com/post/164439699233/dirtydirtychai-destinyrush-she-aint-wrong" class="tumblr_blog">madgastronomer</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://dirtydirtychai.tumblr.com/post/161114927288/destinyrush-she-aint-wrong-im-so-what" class="tumblr_blog">dirtydirtychai</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://destinyrush.tumblr.com/post/161111984033/she-aint-wrong" class="tumblr_blog">destinyrush</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>she ain’t wrong 🤔</p></blockquote> <p>Im so????</p> <p>What asshole drew this?? As if we don’t have the <i>very recent</i>, devastating shipwrecks of the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Costa_Concordia_disaster">Costa Concordia</a> (2012) in which video from firefighters helped prove<a href="http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/costa-concordia-trial-footage-shows-captain-francesco-schettino-preparing-to-flee-sinking-cruise-9900846.html"> the captain abandoned his ship</a> in a disaster that resulted in 32 fatalities</p> <p>or the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sinking_of_MV_Sewol">sinking of the Sewol ferry in Korea</a> (2014), in which over 300 people, mostly <i>middle school students</i>, were drowned, but not before many sent footage of the ferry’s announcements telling people to stay seated and not evacuate, proving the negligence of the ferry’s crew. Many of them were able to get final goodbye messages to their friends and family before they drowned. </p> <p>Ability to send final messages aside, documentary archival video footage is PRICELESS in situations like this. After any kind of public event, you bet your ass police are asking for any and all cell phone footage from the area. </p> <p>anyway, in conclusion, that artist can fuck off </p> </blockquote> <p>And WTF, there were people literally sitting in the lifeboats on the Titanic <i>sketching it</i>. That’s where that iconic fucking image of it COMES FROM, you WOMBATS.<br/></p> </blockquote> <p>&ldquo;Technology is evil and Thomas Edison was a witch&rdquo;</p>
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Ass, Confused, and Family: Relatableo @Relatabletxtes Follow If the titanic sunk in 2016 RETWEETS LIKES 5,7097,671 Follow @k-İbrahim15 Replying to @Relatabletxtes The titanic wouldn't sink in 2016 there would be no iceberg in due to climate change and global warming. RETWEETS LIKES 350 E19022 celticpyro: asiafish: dirtydirtychai: destinyrush: she ain’t wrong 🤔 Im so???? What asshole drew this?? As if we don’t have the very recent, devastating shipwrecks of the Costa Concordia (2012) in which video from firefighters helped prove the captain abandoned his ship in a disaster that resulted in 32 fatalities or the sinking of the Sewol ferry in Korea (2014), in which over 300 people, mostly middle school students, were drowned, but not before many sent footage of the ferry’s announcements telling people to stay seated and not evacuate, proving the negligence of the ferry’s crew. Many of them were able to get final goodbye messages to their friends and family before they drowned.  Ability to send final messages aside, documentary archival video footage is PRICELESS in situations like this. After any kind of public event, you bet your ass police are asking for any and all cell phone footage from the area.  anyway, in conclusion, that artist can fuck off  technowogy is scawwy Yes, at least a handful of people probably would be recording it on their phones because then they could alert authorities to send aid and let loved ones know where they are and what’s going on. I can’t stand the anti-technology stigma that really just boils down to a bunch of bitter old people being scared and confused by something they’re unfamiliar with and want to make themselves feel better about by painting it in a negative light.
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Click, Energy, and Fall: A GREEK MYTHOLOGY CLASSIC The Tale ofIcarus agreck legend of how the hero fell These wings wil take me away from this place and to freedom" PENTRACONS PUBLISHING content I. the tale of icarus; of how it was not ego that caused him to fly too close, but the insatiable human need to reach up and dance among the galaxies II. the fullmetal alchemists tale; of how it was not pride that caused him to challenge the sun, but the simple wish to hear his mother's voice once more III. lessons learned; of how the overhelming, short feeling of soaring through the sky, touching the clouds and tasting freedom was worth the fall and a lesson learned With melting wax and loosened strings Sunk hapless Icarus on unfaithful wings; Headlong he rushed through the affrighted air, With limbs distorted and dishevelled hair; His scattered plumage danced upon the wave, And sorrowing Nereids decked his watery grave; O'er his pale corse their pearly sca-lowers shed, And strewed with crimson moss his marble bed; Struck in their coral towers the passing bell, And wide in ocean tolled his cchoing knel1 the tale of icarus "We're free and we're flying, we 're flying with the birds." Daedalus, father ofthe Acgean sca Icarus, fashioned two pairs of wings out of wax and feathers for himself and his son. They were meant to help the two escape from the isle Crete, where both were imprisoned by King Minos tried his wings first, but before taking off from the island, warned his son not to fly too close to the sun, nor too close to the sea, but to follow his path of glinting beautifully far below them, young Icarus got overwhelmed by the thrill of flying. He did not heed his fathers warning, and flew too close to the sun whereupon the wax in his wings melted and he fell Daedalus into the sea There stilI stands a small promontory jutting out into the Aegean Sea where the body of the fallen boy was found, nami the island and the sea around it after rock The Fall of Icarus And so Icarus longed for the sun, and Daedalus lost his." ng light. When they were gliding across the fallen Icarus the brilliant blue sky, the sun shining above them and he fullmetal alchemists ta le "Keep moving forward. You're strong enough to make your own path." body, Alphonse v a n is h e d completely newly formed being they hoped their mother would be was not even human and had died shortly after showing signs of life. Ed quickly bandaged wounds and hastily performed transmutation that he hoped would bring his brother back drawing a Blood Rune on an empty vintage se while had hen Ed's and Al's mother died, both didn't know how to go on and were refusing to waitfor their estranged father's return. They decided to revive her with alchemy, despite the fact that Human Transmutation has always 1 S been forbidden However, transmutation failed and the boys were deconstructed and consumed by the unleashed energy Ed had his left leg Equivale n t Exchange; "In order to obtain or create both to him, something, omething of equal value must be lost or t of armor destroyed. stripped from his lessons learned "Forget what hurt you in the past, but never forget what it taught you." lesson without pain is meaningless. For you cannot gain anything without sacrificing something else in return. But once you have overcome it and made it your own you will gain an irreplaceable fullmetal heart. t's an m portant lhe myth 1S also linked to the Sun as a symbol of the highest Form (Idea of God). Therefore, Icarus has flown too high. He tried to become wiser than God a chi cvin g Knowledge and was punished. lesson in humility, and the wisdom of living within your lim its. The myth seems to be saying that instead of wanting something extraordinary (such flying, bringing back the dead) we should learn to be happy with what we already have whilst as or Follow our dreams, follow the appetite for life, rushintothe unknown but heed warnings 0 moderation. The danger in lying "too high" or in flying "too low" are advocations for one to respect one's limits and to act accordingly danger We cannot change what we are given in life, but we can respond to it in a positive and balanced wajy <p><a href="http://pentragons.tumblr.com/post/118477200787/get-to-know-me-favorite-quote-fmab-click" class="tumblr_blog" target="_blank">pentragons</a>:</p> <blockquote><blockquote> ↳ <b><small><a href="http://pentragons.tumblr.com/tagged/*m%253Agtkm" target="_blank">get to know me:</a></small></b><small> <i>favorite quote</i> → fma:b (click images for larger size!)<br/></small><small>“Alchemists are scientists. We don’t believe in unprovable concepts like ‘God.’ We strive to uncover the principles of creation in the matter of this world, to pursue truth. It’s ironic that we scientist who don’t believe in God are in a sense the closest things to Him. It’s like<i><b> that myth about the hero</b></i>. He made wings out of wax so he could fly, but when he got too close to the sun - to God - the wax melted and he crashed to the ground.”</small></blockquote></blockquote>

pentragons: ↳ get to know me: favorite quote → fma:b (click images for larger size!)“Alchemists are scientists. We don’t believe in unpro...

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