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what-even-is-thiss: bobcatdump: jaskiegg: mellomaia: aphony-cree: beyoncescock: gahdamnpunk: Honestly!!! This is just psychological trauma in the making THANK YOU I’ve asked parents about this and they always say they are teaching the child responsibility and “respect for other people’s things.” If I point out that the child accidentally broke their own toy they always say “I bought them that toy” or “my sister gave that to them.” The problem is that parents view all possessions as not really belonging to the child. A part of them always seems to think that the adult who provided the money is the real owner If a parent breaks a dish they see it as breaking something that already belonged to them, but if a child breaks it they see it as the child breaking something that belonged to the parents People raising children need to realize that household possessions belong to the entire household. If everyone has to use that plate then it belongs to everyone and anyone can have a forgivable accident with it. It’s okay to deem certain possessions as just yours and ask everyone in the house to respect that, but extend the same respect to your child’s belongings Big mood. I know most of these are talking about little little kids, but here’s a tale from middle school. I had forgotten to charge my phone one night, and this was back when cell phones used to beep loudly when they were low on battery. I kept hearing the noise throughout the afternoon and not recognizing what it was because I’d never heard it before. When I finally did realize what it was, I was in science class and my fellow classmates were making presentations. I reached into my bag to try to turn off the phone, and then the low-battery sound went off, loud enough for the teacher to hear it. She confiscated my phone in front of everyone, and I didn’t get it back until after the weekend because it was a Friday. I was really embarrassed, especially to tell my parents. When I got my phone back that Monday, my teacher said it was important for me to learn this lesson now since in college they wouldn’t tolerate phones going off. Fast forward to when I was in college, any time someone’s phone went off, either the professor would tell them to turn it off, or they would say, “Oh, my bad,” and turn it off themselves, and everyone would move on. I even had a professor who danced around while someone’s phone went off, and it was a welcome moment of levity during the lecture. I say all this to say, one of the worst aspects of being a child/teen was adults assuming my intentions were malicious. God I’ve been reading these posts for a while and each time I am struck with the realization that certainly not all parents were supposed to be a parent “I say all this to say, one of the worst aspects of being a child/teen was adults assuming my intentions were malicious.”YES this The problem is, even if families are forgiving the culture around children still effects the child. I use myself as proof of that. A few times between the ages of 4 and 18 I broke things. I broke my grandma’s favorite Christmas ornament. Her first question was: “Are you hurt?” and when I apologized profusely she said “I’m just glad you weren’t hurt.” I broke a few plates. I broke a couple glasses. Every time my dad’s first response was “Did you get cut?” the second step was cleaning up the broken bits, and the third was a discussion of what led to me breaking it and how I could avoid doing that in the future. Same with spills. Same with stains. My biggest “punishment” from my immediate family was being taught how to clean up the mess I made and being shown in detail how to avoid the same mistake in the future if it was avoidable. There were consequences for my actions, but they were the direct result of those actions and nothing much beyond that. My family tried so hard to teach me how to deal with accidents in a healthy way. They were patient. They treated every slip-up as a learning opportunity. They showed me a lot of love. The other adults still got to me. Teachers still punished and publicly shamed me and other students for our mess-ups. Extended family members outside of my small supportive circle still yelled at me. My friends’ parents still got mad. To the point where whenever I messed up my first instinct was that my dad or grandparents were going to punish me, or yell at me, or hit me, even though they never did. They just didn’t. They always responded with patience and an attitude of “I’m glad you’re safe and I want to help you learn from this.” And I was still afraid of messing up. Mortified. Expecting the worst every time. It’s like… we need to change the culture around this, man. Completely. : what-even-is-thiss: bobcatdump: jaskiegg: mellomaia: aphony-cree: beyoncescock: gahdamnpunk: Honestly!!! This is just psychological trauma in the making THANK YOU I’ve asked parents about this and they always say they are teaching the child responsibility and “respect for other people’s things.” If I point out that the child accidentally broke their own toy they always say “I bought them that toy” or “my sister gave that to them.” The problem is that parents view all possessions as not really belonging to the child. A part of them always seems to think that the adult who provided the money is the real owner If a parent breaks a dish they see it as breaking something that already belonged to them, but if a child breaks it they see it as the child breaking something that belonged to the parents People raising children need to realize that household possessions belong to the entire household. If everyone has to use that plate then it belongs to everyone and anyone can have a forgivable accident with it. It’s okay to deem certain possessions as just yours and ask everyone in the house to respect that, but extend the same respect to your child’s belongings Big mood. I know most of these are talking about little little kids, but here’s a tale from middle school. I had forgotten to charge my phone one night, and this was back when cell phones used to beep loudly when they were low on battery. I kept hearing the noise throughout the afternoon and not recognizing what it was because I’d never heard it before. When I finally did realize what it was, I was in science class and my fellow classmates were making presentations. I reached into my bag to try to turn off the phone, and then the low-battery sound went off, loud enough for the teacher to hear it. She confiscated my phone in front of everyone, and I didn’t get it back until after the weekend because it was a Friday. I was really embarrassed, especially to tell my parents. When I got my phone back that Monday, my teacher said it was important for me to learn this lesson now since in college they wouldn’t tolerate phones going off. Fast forward to when I was in college, any time someone’s phone went off, either the professor would tell them to turn it off, or they would say, “Oh, my bad,” and turn it off themselves, and everyone would move on. I even had a professor who danced around while someone’s phone went off, and it was a welcome moment of levity during the lecture. I say all this to say, one of the worst aspects of being a child/teen was adults assuming my intentions were malicious. God I’ve been reading these posts for a while and each time I am struck with the realization that certainly not all parents were supposed to be a parent “I say all this to say, one of the worst aspects of being a child/teen was adults assuming my intentions were malicious.”YES this The problem is, even if families are forgiving the culture around children still effects the child. I use myself as proof of that. A few times between the ages of 4 and 18 I broke things. I broke my grandma’s favorite Christmas ornament. Her first question was: “Are you hurt?” and when I apologized profusely she said “I’m just glad you weren’t hurt.” I broke a few plates. I broke a couple glasses. Every time my dad’s first response was “Did you get cut?” the second step was cleaning up the broken bits, and the third was a discussion of what led to me breaking it and how I could avoid doing that in the future. Same with spills. Same with stains. My biggest “punishment” from my immediate family was being taught how to clean up the mess I made and being shown in detail how to avoid the same mistake in the future if it was avoidable. There were consequences for my actions, but they were the direct result of those actions and nothing much beyond that. My family tried so hard to teach me how to deal with accidents in a healthy way. They were patient. They treated every slip-up as a learning opportunity. They showed me a lot of love. The other adults still got to me. Teachers still punished and publicly shamed me and other students for our mess-ups. Extended family members outside of my small supportive circle still yelled at me. My friends’ parents still got mad. To the point where whenever I messed up my first instinct was that my dad or grandparents were going to punish me, or yell at me, or hit me, even though they never did. They just didn’t. They always responded with patience and an attitude of “I’m glad you’re safe and I want to help you learn from this.” And I was still afraid of messing up. Mortified. Expecting the worst every time. It’s like… we need to change the culture around this, man. Completely.

what-even-is-thiss: bobcatdump: jaskiegg: mellomaia: aphony-cree: beyoncescock: gahdamnpunk: Honestly!!! This is just psychologica...

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st4nkbu9: I CAN NOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH ABOUT TACOBELL SPECIFICALLY.  I was a manager there this entire year and I had begged my GM to take me off the schedule due to covid-19 to keep my family safe who are immune-compromised. They wouldn’t and the crew wouldn’t wash their hands properly. They wore gloves and thought they didn’t have to change them!  I couldn’t send them home because they had our shifts cut to a bare bone crew of 2-3 people (so one person taking orders and money and 1-2 making food, and for perspective usually a shift is supposed to run 5-8. This is including the manager too) So I ended up having to quit to make sure my family was safe. So now tacobell has been advertising free doritos tacos almost every Tuesday under the mask that they care and want to give back during this trying time, but in reality it is just to get more people out to buy their food which will in turn cause the cases to go up and also stress out the already stressed/short staffed crew working.  Fast food chains DO NOT care. They ARE NOT your friend.  : st4nkbu9: I CAN NOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH ABOUT TACOBELL SPECIFICALLY.  I was a manager there this entire year and I had begged my GM to take me off the schedule due to covid-19 to keep my family safe who are immune-compromised. They wouldn’t and the crew wouldn’t wash their hands properly. They wore gloves and thought they didn’t have to change them!  I couldn’t send them home because they had our shifts cut to a bare bone crew of 2-3 people (so one person taking orders and money and 1-2 making food, and for perspective usually a shift is supposed to run 5-8. This is including the manager too) So I ended up having to quit to make sure my family was safe. So now tacobell has been advertising free doritos tacos almost every Tuesday under the mask that they care and want to give back during this trying time, but in reality it is just to get more people out to buy their food which will in turn cause the cases to go up and also stress out the already stressed/short staffed crew working.  Fast food chains DO NOT care. They ARE NOT your friend. 

st4nkbu9: I CAN NOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH ABOUT TACOBELL SPECIFICALLY.  I was a manager there this entire year and I had begged my GM to ta...

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indigobluerose: wetwareproblem: thesickestsinner: superunfriendlyreminder: This is an old practice. It’s called entrapment and, to the best of my knowledge, it is illegal to do this. Except it’s not, because to prove entrapment you need to prove that a) police instigated the crime, b) which you would not otherwise have committed.Leaving bait lying around is passive enough that it probably doesn’t qualify for point A, and makes it nearly impossible to prove point B.Nasty, sleazy, underhanded, actively detrimental to the communities they’re supposed to be “serving,” but legal. imagine using tax money to buy food, and instead of just giving the food to hungry people, you fucking use that food to bait hungry people into a crime of desperation. : indigobluerose: wetwareproblem: thesickestsinner: superunfriendlyreminder: This is an old practice. It’s called entrapment and, to the best of my knowledge, it is illegal to do this. Except it’s not, because to prove entrapment you need to prove that a) police instigated the crime, b) which you would not otherwise have committed.Leaving bait lying around is passive enough that it probably doesn’t qualify for point A, and makes it nearly impossible to prove point B.Nasty, sleazy, underhanded, actively detrimental to the communities they’re supposed to be “serving,” but legal. imagine using tax money to buy food, and instead of just giving the food to hungry people, you fucking use that food to bait hungry people into a crime of desperation.
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