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Beautiful, Beef, and Bless Up: I am definitely going to steal my Neighbor's pomsky Fam! I’ve never seen anything this beautiful. This is Lion King level love. Circle of Life level love. This right HERE Bruv?! This is lions and hyenas hugging and taking a nap together. On some “we all have plenty of vegetables to eat let’s chill for a hot sec and be loving.” This is the Israelis and Palestinians hugging it out and living peacefully with one another on some “u know what we eat the same falafel and hummus anyway and our ladies basically look the same Jewish girls may have slightly larger Tetas and Arabians might be a lil larger in the trunka dunk but basically the same lol let’s intermarry and end this intermillennial beef that made no logical sense ☺️.” This is the Bears and the Green Bay Packers joining up to form one super team and they only have one kicker and he doesn’t end the season by missing an easy field goal 😕. Fam. This is Donald Trump and Nancy Pelosi waking up in bed together talmbout “there are no longer two political parties. We only have one party now and it’s the Party of Love and everybody gets free medical care and goes to school for free and there are no taxes you just pay what you can like the tip jar at Starbucks.” And then all the trump supporters like “WE WANTED A WALL” and trump like “effective immediately Mexico is the 51st state. Canada is the 52nd. France is the 53rd because I like French fries.” And then Melania pop up like “wow doneld Nancy eez so old I deed not expect thees also why Croatia eez not 54th state” and then Donald all like “effectively immediately I am declaring an emergency and building a wall between the US and Croatia” and then Nancy pop up like “hehe what my love meant to say was, no problem melania, Croatia is the 54th state also don’t ever play me again you wish you had this sauce 🍝“ I HAVE LOST MY MIND FROM THESE VIDEOS I AM SORRY YALL LMAO BLESS UP 😍😂😂 (Slide 1: reddit u-TigreDemon. Slide 2: @carolinehdupont. Videos used with express permission of the respective creators. All rights are reserved to them.)

Fam! I’ve never seen anything this beautiful. This is Lion King level love. Circle of Life level love. This right HERE Bruv?! This is lions ...

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America, Bless Up, and Bruh: My (almost 16) good boy is deaf. He didn't hear us come through the back and thinks we are still in the car. vid: reddit u/romansamurai Dromashlove 0:00 0:26 Bro. Tell me why every American hit show got a lead actor playing an American but in real life he British asf with a British accent. The Wire - Dominic West is a Brit. Walking Dead - Andrew Lincoln is a Brit...hol up...AND Lennie James is a Brit! Watch a interview bruv! Your head will explode! On walking dead u see Lennie playing Morgan Jones sounding American asf and then u see a interview and he wearing spectacles and a flannel shirt talmbout “Oi play the charactah Morgan Jewns in Wohkeeng Ded it’s really quat briyyant Cheerio!” Nah. Hell nah. I’m on to y’all. All u Brits with that lovely 1,000 year old accent who come to America and act better than Americans with American accents that sound more American than Americans I 👏 am 👏 on 👏 to 👏 y’all 👏. In fact I got a theory. To be honest bruh? I think y’all talk normal English and sound just like Americans when y’all hanging out in secret but when u in public u put on that cherrio lad accent YALL AINT FOOLING ME 😂. I think y’all put that accent on when the camera rolling and I don’t blame y’all. When y’all acting in American shows that’s when u talk in ya real accent I’m CONVINCED 😂. Like every kid born in England his mama like “Ello, James. Yo foive yeaz old now so eets time we told yew the truth: oi dewnt really towk like theese. In fact, James *American accent* I talk like this. Just like Americans. But we used to be the global colonial super power at once and what distinguished us is our refined English speech SEW NOW YEW GOT TO LEAHN BOTH. IN PROIVATE, YEW CAN TAWK NOH-MAL. IN PUBLIC YEW MUST SPEAK WITH THIS CHEERIO-BRIYYANT-VERY GOOD GUVANNAH TYPE AFFECTATION. OKAY JAMES? And James just like “wow we thought the Canadians were wild for doing the English-French joint but we literally speak English TWO TYPE OF WAYS? Yes James. Yes. But guess what? It’s finna allow u to colonize acting like ya forefathers colonized India LMAOOO. AND IT AIN’T EEN A RACE THING. OL BOY FROM “Get Out”? BRITISH ASF 😂. Watch a interview and see how he REALLY talk...SUPPOSABLY 😂. BLESS UP 🇬🇧😂❤️
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Bless Up, Boo, and Cheetos: Walter running for his daily swim One of my followers commented: “why do dog paws smell like Fritos? I still love them 😊.” See this raise a very important issue about women and that is, if she love u, she gon find nasty things endearing, whereas if she don’t fvck with u no more, she gon find nasty things HELLA NASTY. Case in point... 1) Fritos that smell like Fritos = yummy 😂. Don’t let nobody tell u different. When u was a kid and u seen them little bags with the yellow and maroon package boy it was on like all type of donkey kong. Deerishis. (2) Dog paws that smell like Fritos = bueno! C’mon now if a dog stink a lil bit that’s expected. He a animal. He ain always gon smell like rosebuds. (3) Humans that smell like Fritos = IT DEPEND 😂. Bruv u give a girl that soul-snatching, Nani wall chakra realigning, organ rearranging deep Pipington? Where the stomach end up where a lung should be and her liver trade places with her kidney bruv? Then it don’t matter no more. U could smell like Fritos. Cheetos. Bruv u could smell like a 17 lb slab of aged Camembert cheese on it, it don’t matter. She gon be texting her friend the next day (with a pack of iced peas on her Nani because she can’t move 😊) talmbout “GURRRRRL. WHY THIS MAN TAKE HIS DRAWLS OFF LAST NIGHT AND THE WHOLE ROOM SMELL LIKE FRITOS 😂 lmaooo 😂 Nah but he coming over again tonight doe 😆 we in the middle of a Seinfeld marathon. We bout to get to the episode where Costanza rock the big a$$ down coat u remember that one? Anyway girl lemme holla at u AYE like my last pic if u don’t mind bye boo!” 😂 But let that lil situationship end bruv? Oh now he ain’t cute at all. “GIRL I AM DONE WITH THAT MAN. CAN’T RETURN A TEXT. DON’T CLIP HIS FINGERNAILS. STANKY SMELLIN A$$, I AM DONE.” But her friend ain’t getting them texts. Nope. Because her ‘friend’ is at Mr. Frito’s crib, putting toilet paper around the toilet bowl so she can pee bc his place filthy 😂. But see that’s when she knew the pipe game was beyond exquisite bc nobody would find frito smell cute unless dude was going Ham and Bananington on the Nani so she went to see for herself and now she supporting dude and paying his cell phone bill 😊. Y’all be safe now! Bless up 😂😂😂
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Bad, Be Like, and Blac Chyna: Took my dog to the groomer and they sent me this. She climbed into a kennel for small dogs AND somehow managed to turn all the way around. She's so pleased with herself. @DrSmashlove Pic: reddit u/fireismyporn Bruh y’all being way too hard on my girl Blac Chyna. See y’all gotta understand, some women...they like secretaries. If u give them a task and they don’t wanna do that task...they do a bad job! That’s just how some of u women be! My first secretary? I asked her to please make me a binder. The result? Tabs was messed up, everything mishmashed - even the hole punches wasn’t aligned 😂. Just skrate to the recycling bin. Lesson learnt: Sally don’t do binders 😂. That’s Blac Chyna. She didn’t like that task. She like “lemme do this hella mediocrely. Then he gotta start doing something *I* like.” U feel me? Now other women bruh they gon do the most. They could dislike something but for YOU? They love it. I was once laying Pipington to a yung ting and she was visibly into it but after a lil while she kinda broke out of character like “o babyyyy ... aye baby you close? It’s hurting a lil bit 😬 KEEP GOING DON’T STOP!” ... BRO! I FUXED WITH HER HONESTY LOL! 😂 Bc up until then she was (ostensibly) loving every moment! That right there is a pleaser bruv. But don’t get it twisted! U can convert her. If she a pleaser but u inattentive, selfish, and ignore her cues? Guess what now she a secretary. She bad at everything now 😂. “Sorry I already brushed my teeth and got ready for bed can we not? 😬” Like one of them old secretaries. Emeritus status lol. Just waiting on her retirement party talmbout “After 48 years of service Shirley has informed us she’s retiring, we will miss her 😌” like bish don’t u mean 38 years of service and 10 years of Shirley talking isht in the coffee room?! 😂 Now then, if u kindly, conscientious and wonderful, she gon convert from a secretary to a pleaser. She gon do things she ain’t een really into bc she like YOU! U be like “wow Stephanie I didn’t even know u liked this position lol! Where u learn this? U cheating? Lemme see ya phone 😤 I’LL KILL U *AND* HIM LOLOL JK NAH FR THO WHERE U LEARN THIS 😍.” 😂 U feel me? She gon upgrade HERSELF if she fux with u. Blac Chyna bruh? She don’t fux with that dude. For all we know she just paid for dinner AND his car note. Let a woman pay for u she be a secretary REAL QUICK BLESS UP 😂
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Be Like, Bless Up, and Bruh: My sister's gentle giant German Shepherd wears a bow tie everywhere because it makes people less intimidated and afraid of him. @DrSmashlove Reddit u/tricksy_trixie Say Bruh shout to u pretty a$$ ladies with resting bish face (RBF) bruv I fux with y’all. I fux witchu ladies the long way bruv y’all sexy. I’m talking and u just eyeing me. Scrutinizing me. U feel me? Am I making her mad? Is she disagreeing with me? What is she thinking? I need that. That element of risk. Like u might could reach across the table and break a bottle over my head bruv. That sh!t dangerous to me that’s sexy lol. Scowl at me. U feel me? HANGRY - even tho u just bodied four tacos, a bowl of guac, and a large horchata 😩. I fux with that. And women with RBF do well in business! That’s why women get successful and ppl be like “wow Susan is a bish” NO SHE AINT! SHE JUST GOT SKRONG RBF! “David if you don’t start being reasonable imma stab this pen into your neck. How you gon explain that to ya kids? You could have given us $17,000 more per month for this amazing software but nah. You wanted to die on your sword. Well David, act like a bish you gon DIE LIKE A BISH.” I mean I still remember tryina explain to my mama why my sister crying and my mama already got the chancleta IN HER HAND - RAISED - maybe EEN a wooden spoon in the other - just preparing for that cosmic two-tiered simultaneous SHLAP - SHMACK - CRACK of the spoon handle to end my existence u feel me? “Wow smash what a childhood that explains why you’re like this no wonder.” Ok first of all ...... YES ASF 😂. Y’all could judge my mama all u want to but u can’t have 1-on-1 convo’s with all ya chirren once u have more than three like after that u gotta be efficient and the flip flop - wooden spoon is efficient ASF. All I’m saying is at the end of the day I love my mama and perhaps RBF remind me of her Resting Boutta Whup Dat A$$ Face all I’m saying is for u ladies who are like “MY FRIENDS ALL SAY I HAVE THE WORST RBF LIKE HOW DO I GET RID OF THIS”...don’t 😍😂. As Tupac said, “You are appreciated ☺️”. Now none of u extra-a$$ ladies who follow me DM me talmbout “can I ride the Peepington while slapping u with a sandal and breaking wooden spoons on u zaddy ☺️” I told u I ain’t into being dominated! (Nah but DM me tho if u gon do it 🤤🤫) BLESS UP 😍😂😂😂
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Anaconda, Beer, and Bless Up: This is Ralph. It's his first time out in public. 11/10 good boy Reddit u/aaronr93 @DrSmashlove A necessary part of adulthood is obtaining that COSTCO flex. Without delay here go the couple gems u can’t leave COSTCO without. (1) Two Brothers coffee, 2 lb. bag, $17.99. This isht right HERE, bruv? This is one of them joints that pay for the membership itself. Do me a favor and go to whole food. A 12 ounce bag run u $12.99. Here go THIRTY TWO OUNCES for $17.99. I feel like I won the lotto every time I buy this. U will need a grinder but that’s light work - TREAT YOSELF. (2) Ito En sencha and matcha tea bags. You get 100 wrapped tea bags. Brew the sencha and then add milk and honey and then empty the matcha from the bag on top. BLAM. U a barista now. Have a lil lady over like “aye baby u want a fresh ground Two Brothers latte - it’s a local beer brewery that happens to make killer coffee - or do u want a green tea latte made with the realeast authentic green tea from Japan?” She gon look at u and a single tear will form in her eye. He ex used to drag her a$$ to Starbucks, order a $5 drink, and then pat his own body down like he the police and make HER pay for HIS coffee talmbout “I forgot my wallet baby I’ll get you next.” Now YOU hand-crafting her morning beverage from scratch. You upgrading HER off of that COSTCO flex. JEW HEARD!! 🤫😍😂 (3) MyMo mochi balls (18 pcs). One tray has six - perfect for Netflix and chill at the end of a long week. “But smash, that’s only three mochis per person(?) My girl like to eat.” BIH. I SHARE MY COFFEE + TEA. NOT MY MOCHI. I NETFLIX AND CHILL MYSELF AND FOCUS ON THE PLOT. SHE GOTTA GET HER OWN “oush cream” *michelle tanner from full house voice* FAWKUMEAN 😂. (4) Siggi’s yogurt. Siggi’s is made the Iceland way. Like the Cheeto said, “why can’t we get more immigrants from countries like Norway?” BECAUSE U BRAINDEAD MORON THEY DONT WANNA COME TO THIS SH!THOLE COUNTRY THAT ELECTED YOU 😂. This is natural skyr yogurt that taste sweet + wondrous like the Nani of a comely, tall blond Icelandic woman wearing only fur boots, whispering sweet nothings in your ear that vaguely sound German but mostly like gibberish. Now u too can COSTCO flex. Bless up 😍😂😂😂
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Af, Bless Up, and College: She was an old dog when she moved in with us - nine years old at the time. Last month she turned old enough to be able to vote Shout to u ladies whose grammar and spelling turn poor AF when u s€xt!ng bruv. In fact when the grammar-spelling too on point and the punctuation is all in the right place it’s almost like wtf? If u so fired up how u typing so good ma sumting wong 🤔. Nah. Lemme see that urgency. “Omg daddy that would feel so goog please dady”. Yes ma’am! I’m there! This wasn’t no cut and paste! Stop it ladies I know some of y’all in the game like magazine editors out dis bih. Cosmopolitan Editor-in-Chief and sh*t bruv “83 ways to please your man” lookin a$$, ol “Lemme grab this perfect photograph with optimal lighting from when Obama was just elected and it was a better time and lemme pair it with this text that has worked 11 times before” and the man usually buy it just like “omg Karen you’re AMAZING lol heck 😍”. Nah. I be searching the room for clues. “That Dell laptop look like a college joint ma. Freshman special lmao. Paid $899 at orientation at the campus bookstore lookin a$$. Lemme find out this pic is circa 2008. This pic turning 10 next year. We need to celebrate the taking of this pic ma u need to retire this pic...Nine years of service ma that pic need a pension and a retiree health care plan” 😂. Nah. Send me a hastily worded text u typed with one hand (😍) and pair it with a pic where yo hair look a mess and u laying in bed talmbout “pardon the mess and pardon my cat he’s an a$$hole” send me THAT. All natural. U feel me? NOTHING AGAINST MAKEUP I LOVE U LADIES AND YALL ONE INCH THICK MAKEUP TUTORIAL EYEBROWS WITH THE MASTERFULLY DONE FADE BUT I ALSO LOVE U WITH YA NORMAL EYEBROWS, BAGS UNDER YA EYES, SKRETCH MARKS, NANI STUBBLE WITH THE SKRAGGLY BUCKSHOT STRAY SHORT HAIR RIGHT WHERE THE THIGH MEAT CREASES TO MEET THE NANI REGION (Lil Atticus Pubicus u doing the best u can u escaped the razor this time and u be gone by next time but u fought the good fight, u da real MVP 🏅😂), CELLULITE, OTHER “imperfections”, I’LL TAKE ANY DAY OVER A PIC FROM WHEN JA RULE WAS SO HOT THAT JAY-Z MADE A MUSICAL GROUP WITH HIM (all u lil babies out there please google ‘Murder Inc.’, this happened 🤗, don’t say smash never taught u nothing BLESS UP 😩😂😂😂)
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Ass, Be Like, and Bless Up: Pic: reddit usullyTheEnglishLab @DrSmashlove Say bruv shout to u ladies leaving comments and sending me DMs asking when I’m finna start writing about Punani again. U know what bruv? U ladies wild lemme tell u why. Turn the tables. Just for a sec, turn the tables for me. What if I was in the comment section of your favorite betch account talmbout “PP PP PPs PLEASE! MEMES ON PPs, JOKES ON PPs, CAPTIONS ON PPs MEOW...RIGHT MEOW! WHAT DO WE WANT?? PP 🤗. WHEN DO WE WANT IT? NOW! PPbrigade TeamPP EggplantMafia 💪.” All u ladies in the comments would be like “Jesus what’s up with this Durs Mashlove nutcase constantly talking about PPs like let her post ads for strapless, backless pull-together bra’s that are useless after the first wear, framed maps that nobody needs, and $1 recurring subscription Ponzi scheme bracelets, and the occasional worn-out, not-even-funny-anymore, circa 2014 xeroxed-looking, light-blue-tint-for-no-reason trash can Meme about something dating-related but literally not even relatable by any sane, reasonably normal human — sheesh.” But nah. Hells nah. In Smashland if my ladies don’t get they weekly dose of Punani bruv I gotta hear about it. “What’s wrong smash why you G-rated now smash you used to be filthy smash you fell off smash where’s smash bring smash back.” *Dr. Evil voice* ALRIGHT ZIPPIT. ZIPPIT. ZIPPP. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury...ExZIPPIT A. “Look I’m zippy longstocking” ZIPPIT 🤗. U need it. I’m like a boyfriend u can’t leave because the pipe too good - u gon come around regardless and u gon get this work regardless. REGARDLESS. I could post puppies only and three laughy emojis like Daquan and u STILL gon come back like a crack fiend BC U ADDICTED MAMA U LOVEEEEE IT. U STUCK WITH ME. BE PATIENT. PUNANI POST SOON COME STAY CHUNE. (Nah but keep the aggression coming. It’s nothing more attractive than a sassy, damn near tyrannical-ass crazy tyrannosaurus woman barking orders at me. It floats my boat. Go head with them short arms and pointy chompers Mama let’s make a happy home together and call it Jurassic Park (“is this West Indian lilac? Are you sure?” 🤔). Love y’all. Don’t change. DON’T CHANGE UNLESS IF IT’S TO GET CLOSER TO GOD BLESS UP 😍😂😂😂).

Say bruv shout to u ladies leaving comments and sending me DMs asking when I’m finna start writing about Punani again. U know what bruv? U l...

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Af, Anaconda, and Asian: u/Meems138 3d i.redd.it Gabby knows where all the heating vents are @DrSmashlove So one of my followers DMed me from China talmbout “smash you talked about big girls and you talked about thicky thicc girls ... what about small girls?” Well baby girl I’m glad u asked. Now see a lot of American men got a lil diminutive, subservient Asian girl geisha type fetish. Bruv 😤...STOP IT WITH THAT SH!T YALL GROSS 😂. And what I love most is they wife a Asian girl and she gon turn his COT DAMN life upside down because lo and behold! Asian girls are aggressive AF 🤗😂. Underneath that modest frame and chill demeanor is a fire breathing dragon - it’s all fun and games till u wife her up and find out that just like the skinny Somalian dude in the tom hanks movie...she da captain now lmao. They don’t call them “Tiger Moms” for nothing! Naw I ain’t about no damn racist fetishes. I love u lil Asian girls because the fact is, y’all make the best dinner companions bc y’all dainty! Y’all barely eat! Y’all just nibble! It’s so adorable! LMFAO JK YALL EAT LIKE LIONS WHO ARE BEING STARVED BEFORE FIGHTING A WARRIOR IN A ROMAN COLISEUM AND YALL AINT SEEN FOOD FOR TWO DAYS BEFORE THE MATCH THAT’S HOW YALL EAT 😂. If u ain’t seen this sh!t bruv, it’s a thing of wonderment. I honestly am astonished every time. U lil Asian girls bruv I don’t een know where the food go...Is your chest cavity comprised entirely of stomach? 😂 Four tacos, half a burrito, and u scraping the bottom of the guacamole bowl? I SEENT IT 😂. Dated this one girl bruv half Asian half white 5’7” UNDER 100 LBS we went to Kuma’s which serve burgers the size of volleyballs she bodied it, bodied the waffle fries and we got fro yo after. Nah. Hell nah. To keep up with a Asian girl bruv u need a second mortgage. Fvck around and redo ya whole dating budget. Food (per month): $10,000 (for the lion dragon Monster). 😂 FR tho I love u lil Asian girls. Fvck around and leave me dead broke off of four dates but it’s worth it, my body is ready. SMASH LOVES ALL BODY TYPES THICC AND THIN BIG AND SMALL I’M WARNING YALL THO THE LIL ONES AIN NOTHING TO EFF WITH FINANCIALLY BLESS UP 😍😂😂😂
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Beard, Benadryl, and Bless Up: u/bofstein . 2d. imgur I asked to be seated next to the cutest guy on the plane @DrSmashlove Now see a lot of people on airplanes bruv, they tryina dodge oversized people. They ain’t tryina spend the whole flight shmushed. I feel that. I understand that. But me? Aw hell nah. Big ladies y’all always welcome to sit next to smash. Call me Negan baby girl - leather biker jacket with the beard - let me be yo Sanctuary 🤗😂. Hell I even ask if she wanna raise the divider. Divider actually make it worse! Sh!t be causing flesh to intrude into my space unnaturally. Pokes me awkwardly and makes me hella uncomfortable, nah IDGAF Mama melt into me, invade my space, fall asleep on my shoulder, just get comfortable. And the last time I offered, ol girl did it, too. Schlept like he just popped two Benadryl slobbering on my damn shoulder. Flight attendant talmbout “do you know what your friend wants to drink when she wakes up?” I’m like “I don’t know this woman!! Anyway Diet Coke tho I’m pretty sure she like Diet Coke Issa wild guess yes just poe it up pls thank you” 😂. Did her snore sound like the groans of a wild warthog with a fractured leg bone bruv? Yes. Did I mind? No sir. I’m an ally to the big girls. Bring yo curvaceous, aggressive deodorant scented essence here guh it’s plenty room for both of us. I squat all damn day at the gym, my thigh musculature enjoys the company of a soft, supple flight companion 🤗😂. Now I know what y’all thinking: “SMASH YOUR FANTASIES ARE OVERBOARD, THIS DIDN’T HAPPEN”. Question: if my stories was made up, wouldn’t I try to say I used to date Halle Berry or some sh!t? Chilli from TLC? I mean...wouldn’t I tell a lie that boosts my ego? Nah. Never. My story is my story. BIG GIRLS REST THEY WEARY HEAD ON MY SHOULDER. FACTS, B - DEAL WITH IT - BIG GIRLS I LOVE YALL, U NEVER HAVE TO SHEEPISHLY ASK IF MY MAN BAG PURSE SATCHEL IS SAVING THE SEAT FOR SOMEONE ELSE - IT’S SAVING IT FOR YOUR DELIGHTFULLY ROTUND A$$ — HAVE A SEAT MAMA, I BELIEVE WE CAN FLY - BLESS UP 🤗😍😂😂😂
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Anaconda, Ass, and Baseball: u/Thigpenology 1d i.redd.it I met this local wet-nosed pup at the bar, his name is Smudge @DrSmashlove Playoff baseball is upon us. Now some of u ladies who grew up with brothers and-or a father (who was actually present 🤗) already know a thing or two about sports. Matter fact y’all know a LOT about sports, y’all be at the bars with your blond pony tail hanging out the back of your cubs snap back recalling stats like a cot damn baseball announcer lol. But some of y’all - like me (raised with sisters 🙋‍♂️😂) - don’t know shiiiiiiiiit. Zero. Nada. And that’s completely fine! Sports are gay! (No offense to sports fans or homosexuals - I’m just saying let’s call it what it is - if u a man who spend his days admiring men in tight pants then u a lil gay! Just a lil bit 👌😂). But anyway when it come to baseball it’s one way to easily cheat and participate in any baseball discussion. As soon as a discussion about an impending baseball game come up, say one thing. Just one. U ready? “Who’s pitching?” Bam. BAM. Wind that boy up and let his ass go. Watch his ass talk for 45 MINUTES about the pitchers on both sides. “Well for the Nats it’s Strasburg - dude is INCREDIBLE - fastballs over 100 mph” etc etc until you fall asleep face down in yo burger and fries u feel me? But u let him talk. That’s all it is - talking. I go out on dates and afterward the girl be like “we clicked - you’re amazing - talking to u felt so natural ☺️” and I’m thinking “yeah bish because I ain’t talk! You talked and I nodded! U talked enuf for both of us witchoe tawkin ass!” 😂 But real talk just say it with me: “who’s pitching?” And let him talk his sh!t. And watch him text his family the next day talmbout “OMG I MET A GIRL NAMED MEGAN AND SHE’S BEAUTIFUL AND SHE LOVES BASEBALL” and his sister Karen just like “finally! You ex Kelly hated baseball! That b!tch!” Now y’all getting married. U feel me? U choosing bridesmaids dresses and picking appetizers for the wedding off of “who’s pitching?” Warning: don’t say “who’s on the mound?” That’s a little too manly baby girl u don’t want him thinking yo armpits hairy lol. “who’s on the mound?” That’s like calling him “bro” ... like Bryson Tiller said: “Don’t.” Who’s pitching? Now go get married Megan bless up 😍😂😂😂
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Af, Bless Up, and Club: She's deaf and mostly blind but she loves fetching and catching toys Any man who wear a sport coat to dinner on a Saturday night? OLYMPIC MEDAL THOT 🥇. I'm not talmbout yo mama's step boyfriend who wear a sport coat with Steve Jobs mom jeans and shiny dress shoes to the local steakhouse. U feel me? He utterly clueless from the jump. He just tryina look cute for yo mama and also he got a pot belly so the sport coat is just an additional protective layer. I'm talmbout dudes our age. Like I went to sushi Saturday night and two tables over I seent a young Indian dude out with a pretty lady and he was wearing a black sport coat with a dress shirt unbuttoned three buttons to show his robust one centimeter chest stubble - flexin line "I gotta buzz this shit and it STILL look like a carpet - ain't no other resident in all of Neonatal with this type of manlyness 🤗." U feel me? Medical grade thot. Type of dude to take Suzy the Night Nurse to sushi, take her home, smash her out, and then go dancing at a club with his Indian crew because Priya gon be out that night and he really tryina marry Priya but he smash Suzy to calm his nerves so he seem more laid back to Priya (this is the male thot calculus 🤗). Go head Dr. Arjun. I ain't mad at u. Your attending doc know u a thot. Yo mama who keep asking when she gon get little Arjun's know in her heart u a thot. Suzy? She was never under any impression whatsoever that u anything BUT a thot...Win-win (note tho that Suzy believes there's a one in a million chance she can convert Arjun to a non-thot - I affectionately refer to this as "Dumb and Dumber Logic" - yes issa one in a million chance but Suzy u ain't that one, sorry sweetie 😘). So there u have it. If yo man pick u up for a date on a Saturday night and he wearing a black sport coat that he purchased at Zara on sale for $64.99 - thot. Now get pregnant, Suzy - he only make $28k-year now as a resident but when he take a job in Kansas after residency making $770k-year as the new superstar Neonatal doctor at Christ Saint Mary Elizabeth Holy Cathedral Hospital (u know it's real when the hospital name is catholic AF) u gon be sitting pretty cashing them support checks bless up TheseGamesAreMadeForTwoPlayers 👶😍😂 (📸: Reddit u-arturg87)
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Baseball, Bless Up, and Cats: Saying "hey" from the NYC subway Yoric's best Woke up to a new Lil Uzi album and it's cot damn lit ... Idgaf ... this kid is a rock star and his music is stadium status and give me Kanye "Touch the Sky" feels. But what I love is all the old head haters. U know wtf I'm talmbout. Them cats that think Jay and Nas were the last good rappers. "Man look at these new kids smh...mumble rappers" "rocking tight pants and dresses" "how they letting these guys wear chokers" "how they letting these guys dye their hair pink and blond" "popping pills smh they letting junkies rap now". OK. LET ME GET THIS CLEAR, OLD HEAD. YALL GOT A BUNCH OF WOMEN PREGNANT IN THE 90s AND THEN GHOSTED - DISAPPEARED - WENT TO THE CORNER STORE AND NEVER CAME BACK - NOW THEM KIDS GREW UP AND EMBRACED FASHION AND CREATED THEY OWN GENDER FLUID STYLE BECAUSE THEY MALE ROLE MODELS WAS ABSENT AND NOW U WANNA CRITICIZE...EVEN THO THESE KIDS ON STAGES IN FRONT OF SOLD OUT CROWDS PUTTING IT DOWN FOR THEY FAMILY...LEMME TELL U WHAT U NEED TO DO, OLD HEAD...U NEED TO GO TO THE SPORTING GOODS STORE ASAP AND BUY TWO BASEBALL MITTS AND A BASEBALL AND FIND THAT BOY U ABANDONED AND PLAY SOME CATCH...MATTER FACT ASK THE POSTAL SERVICE FOR A FULL WEEK OFF, U GON NEED A LOT OF TIME FOR THIS GAME OF CATCH (AND 'CATCH UP') AND MAYBE U COULD PLAY HIM SOME NAS AND JAY RECORDS AND DISCUSS MUSIC WITH HIM BUT FOR NOW STFU AND STOP CRITICIZING, THE ART REFLECT THE CULTURE AND U CREATED IT NOW DON'T BE MAD AT IT (but you're welcome to fix your mistakes bless up 🤗😂😂😂) (@madmax_fluffyroad)
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