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Internet, Pizza, and Being Salty: This a Moonmelon, scientifically knows as asidus This fruit grows in some parts of Japan, and is known for its vibrant blue color. What you probably don't know about this fruit is that it can switch flavors after you eat it. Everything sour will taste sweet, everything salty will taste bitter, and it gives water a strong orange-like taste. It's also very expensive...costing about 16000 JPY (which is about 200 dollars) or you know this could be photoshopped but idk you tell me this is alexandrias melon (wow) it never grows seeds but it can still produce other melons (its magic) it is grown deep in the jungles of peru and can prevent you from aging well into the hundreds it is known by the natives there as kuhul ajaw cacao shi-jily its really strange how all of these pictures look exactly the same because evervthing on the internet is true This is the Peppermeloni. (seriously gosh just look at that Its scientific name is Tumblrous Pepperonus The only known specimen is in a pot in David Karps treasure dungeon. It is a tradition that a single slice is given to every tumbir blog that reaches 500,000 followers It has the remarkable property of being as healthy as watermelon but tasting like cheesy pepperoni pizza This planet is really just so amazing guys wow The taste of this melon wil always surprise you Today has been great We can all go to bed, the day is finished more awesome pictures at THEMETAPICTURE.COM Hahahaha cause "They can't put anything on the internet that isn't true." "Where did you hear that?!" "The internet."

Hahahaha cause "They can't put anything on the internet that isn't true." "Where did you hear that?!" "The internet."

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Trump, Medicine, and Own: GULAG Trump tasting his own medicine before paying for his sins (2019)

Trump tasting his own medicine before paying for his sins (2019)

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Alive, Bodies , and Brains: ilthat TIL that due to their small brains koalas are unable to perform complex, unfamiliar tasks such as eat leaves off of flat surfaces. via reddit.com toast-potent how are they even alive kickin-jeans eucalyptus trees are full of flammable oil that causes the trees to explode during forest fires, killing other trees and spreading its seeds to grow in their place koalas survive solely because nothing else in their environment Wants To Eat The Fucking Bombs humandisastersquad WROTE THIS POST#god dont get me fuckin started#the NUMBER of times ive Gone Off abt koalas in zooarch class#on a scale of koalas to wombats how good is ur marsupial at Being Alive#hey hey u know what else? koalas are s0 picky with their diet that theyll only eat the leaves of one (1) type of eucalypt#and even then ONLY specimens of that tree that are within a very tight geographic range of where the koala was born#the rescue centre in my city? they have to ship branches from all over the state bc koalas there physically Will Not Eat anything thats not#from their very very small very precise home range#theyd rather starve to death than try leaves from like the next suburb over#i have 60 other reasons why koalas spit in the face of natural selection hmu if you want YELLING i cant be bothered to list them all here#god theyre so incomprehensibly dumb. god#HEY ALSO the reason their brains are so small is bc YEah the one SINGLE species of tree they eat is incredibly toxic#their diet consists of 1 food and it is Brain-Shrinking Poison (@reyroace) reyroace oh u like that? try this one: the main natural cause of death in koalas is starvation, because 1) their dumbass teeth are SHIT. to be a herbivore and chomp cellulose all day u need some real tough grinders in there, and almost every other herbivore in nature has SOME sort of dental adaptation to make sure they dont run out of tooth by the time they hit middle age. horses have big tall teeth, wombat teeth grow forever, kangaroos have got a little conveyor belt system goin on, etc etc everyone's doin SOMETHING except fuckign koalas. idiots have tiny fuckin shortass normal teeth that do an okay job for maybe like 15 years and then wear down and leave them with ridiculous fuckin useless old man gums that do shit all. but thats fine bc all koalas do anyway is sit in trees and sleep 22hrs a day then wake up and scream and eat poison and they do this all day every day until they run out of teeth at which point they just fall out of the tree and die 2) idiots can't die any other fuckin way bc nothing in nature wants to eat them bc their bodies are chocker block with LITERAL poison. fuckin USELESS their flesh just sits around and slowly rots bc its too gross-tasting and toxic for any animal w half a brain cell to think abt going near it. have yall ever seen koala viscera. bc i have and let me tell u that shit is RANK. looks like the inside of a smoker's lung from some fuckdamn nicabate ad bc the tannins in eucalypt leaves stain their organs like khaki black. like some fuckin darklsteve irwin costume well better piss ur way right off from this one anti-steve bc thats a natural defense mechanism meant to warn u that koalas should in no way be alive and if u touch them theyll drag u into their stupid evolutionary dead-end where they get to sit around all day doin fuck all and pumpin themselves full of brain-killing poison while we run around makin them our olympic games mascots and pretending theyre cute and honest to god looking for ways to save them from the brink of extinction which actually is unnecessary bc a) theyre not really endangered at all, nature is a fuckign miracle and b) the drongos clearly want to die so i say let em reyroace by the way i never elaborated on "koalas sit in trees all day screaming" but heres a lil fuckin. heres a fun nugget heres a lil soundbyte this is what koalas sound like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v-jmeBQVQlsTU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v-O0CAx1jLbJk gallusrostromegalus My favorite story about Koalas comes from the book The Killer Koala Humorous Australian Bush Stories" By Kenneth Cook, which is an excellently good book with some A+ storytelling. he describes the Koala's "Anti-Dingo Defense", wherein they latch on to the belly of the dingo to slow down the rate at which they are being consumed alive by starving canid, gradually trn themselves around until they've got thier head in the Dingo's crotch, and then procede to BITE THE SHIT out of the Dingo's Tender Bits, whilst clowing at the ribs and projectile-evacuating thier bowels, Mr. Cook found out about the Anti-Dingo Defense beause he was tricked into 'rescuing' a bunch of koalas off an island by the promise of a Hot Date with a young lady, wondered why they were all being given armored aprons to handle the koalas with, only to find out firsthand, which pretty much ruined his prospects of a date. teratomarty What I'm getting is that koalas are basically Australian-grade Death Sloths. the more you know
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Candy, Charlie, and Dad: karik evayna Violet Beauregarde should've won Wonka's chocolate factory Have I watched the movie in the last decade or more? No. Do I have iron clad evidence to support my argument? Yes. 1. She's the most knowledgeable about candy She's committed to it, and knows her stuff. When Wonka holds up a little yellow piece across the room, she recognizes it immediately. She was able to switch to candy bars for the sake of the contest, so we know she has personal discipline and is goal oriented. Also, two major projects play directly into her strong suits: the 3-course- meal gum that Wonka failed to make safe (gum) and the neverending gobstopper (longevity) 2. She's the most fit to run a business. Violet is competitive, determined, hard working, and willing to take risks. Her father is a small town car salesman and politician, so she could easily pick up knowledge and support from him. (Veruca's dad is also a business man, and in a compatible market (nuts), but it's made very clear that Veruca has no respect or knowledge of business practices or hard work.) 3. Shes the most sympathetic to the Oompa Loompas. She critiques Veruca when Veruca demands to buy one. More importantly, Wonka has been testing the 3-course-meal gum that always goes wrong' on Oompa Loompas while he presumably just watches. Violet is ready to put herself on the front line, instead of treating the Oompa Loompas as disposable, and would therefore be a better boss. 4. Her personality flaw' is the most fitting for the company. In the moralizing Oompa Loompa song, they just say gum is pretty cool, but it's not socially acceptable to chew it all day. The thing is, we already know that she can stop if she wants, because she already did that to win the golden ticket. And yeah, she is defensive about the perceived impoliteness of her hobby (like when her mother tries to shame her about her habit during a televised interview) but the obsession with candy and neglect of social norms is EXACTLY what Wonka is all about This is on brand. 5. Her misstep in the factory is reasonable. Wonka shows everyone a candy he's very proud of. Violet is like "oh sick, that's gum, my special interest." Wonka is then pulls a "WRONG! It's amazing guml So in the very moments before she takes the gum Wonka has mislead her just to belittle her. So when he's like I wouldn't do that" why should she give a shit what he has to say? She's not like Charlie over here who's al Sure Gramps, let's stay behind while the tour leaves and secretly drink this thing that has been explicitly stated to fill you with gas and is too powerful for safe consumption, oh and also I just saw what happened to Violet so I actually KNOW what this stuff can be capable of" Also, Violet is not selfish about her experience, she tells everyone what she's tasting and feeling, and everyone is eager to hear it. Taking a personal risk to share knowledge with everyone. Violet is Prometheus: fact. So Augustus contaminates the chocolate river. Charlie sneaks around and contaminates the vent walls. Veruca destroys and disrupts the workspace. Mike knows exactly what will happen to him and transports/shrinks himself deliberately. Violet had no idea what the gum could potentially do to her, and caused no harm to anyone or anything but herself Lastly: Can you imagine Charlie filling Wonka's shoes? That passive, naive boy? Violet is already basically Wonka. She's passionate sarcastic, candy-obsessed, free thinking, and a total firecracker. She's even better than Wonka, because she doesn't endanger others. Violet should've been picked to inherit the chocolate factory. Source: evayna #charlie and the chocolate factory 123,693 notes Blueberry Boss
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Asian, Bad, and Beef: Imaan Sheikh @sheikhimaan POC: *jokes about white people not seasoning their food and not having rhythm* White people: Have you ever been hated or discriminated against? I have. l've been protested and demonstrated against. dirkapitated-yet-again: jlongbone: sophisticatedfangirling: thewolfman1995: cheshireinthemiddle: livbiv17: mizumanta: livbiv17: mizumanta: livbiv17: livbiv17: raychjackson: lmao yo OMG SO RELEVENT Reblogging AGAIN. 😩 You know having unseasoned food is an actual thing in japan. “Simple flavors” is part of Japanese food culture. No seasoning or just salt. I think we should mock japanese people too. Generalize them as having no taste or ability to cook. And laugh at them if they say it’s racism or childish. The difference is white people colonized—raped, stole and destroyed—other cultures for these seasonings…that they don’t even use ☺️therein lies the irony. Also…not the point of the post…the point is, making fun of white people’s weird shit does not equal racism. I said what I said ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ So staaahp trolling and go read a book maybe. Lady, i have 2 degrees on this. I literally have walls of books on the history of food. White people didnt rape, colonize, steal, or destroy anymore than the Chinese did. And i doubt you would be okay saying this about Asians. People tended to use less seasoning back ghen because food was bred and grown differently. Things like chicken and beef had way more natural flavor, so additional seasonings werent really needed. In fact, for some places, seasonings were typically used by the poor, who were left with bad tasting scraps. Other places had them solely for the rich, since non native spices were incredibly expensive. Just like with Japanese culture, food culture in European cultures are often rely on tradition. Traditional methods are used, even if obsolete from newly available ingredients. It’s why old traditional methods of wine and cheese making are still used today. In fact, simple flavors and limited seasonings are available in a large amount of African dishes. The whole “white people dont season their food” stereotype originated in the US, and is clearly wrong, since European immigrants brought over tons of well seasoned and loved food like pizza, sausages, gyros, literally a ton of well known french dishes. I mean most southern cuisine came from French immigrants, and African slaves and paid servants (who at the time didnt even have access to most spices) simply copied those. The only real nuance is the addition of peppers and things like nutmeg and corn (originating in the americas) which European immigrants had already been using in their recipes. ( Actual soul food that can be entirely credited to African Americans is limited). The point is that the caricature of white people’s cooking being unseasoned is a very real part of reality for other cultures. Japan prides its traditional food with simplistic flavors. As in minimal or no seasoning. So any mocking you have for white people, equally (if not moreso) applies to the Japanese. You clearly don’t think it’s okay to say these same things to Asians, so it is clear that it isnt the action itself that you have a problem with, but the race doing it. Youre a racist. You think just because you mr opinions are popular and other bad activists are on your side, that you are in the right. I think we know from history that a popular opinion isnt always the right one. I’ve seen how you reply to other people who disagree with you and it is so childish. You just tell them to read a book or go to a library without considering their knowledge on the subject. I am here to tell you that i am much more knowledgable than you are on this subject. You are just making up stuff to excuse the fact that you dont like white people. https://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/2015/03/26/394339284/how-snobbery-helped-take-the-spice-out-of-european-cooking I literally cannot make this shit up lol. 😂 your degrees are obviously for naught. Also..the British and Europe DID colonize these areas…which included the aforementioned atrocities. Not racist. Just have a grasp on history. Get one. How Snobbery Helped Take The Spice Out Of European Cooking I dont think you even read this. It clearly states that while Indians (and it only relies on indians, not the mentioned Japanese or really any other Asian country) focus on curry, while Europeans often focused on gravies and sauces. Italian sauces for instance relied on fresh herbs (not spices), while French sauces relied more on stocks. Once dried peppers came over, many countries used paprika to season their stews, and others regularly used rosemary, bayleaf, thyme, and pepper. It’s really odd that you would compare any country’s use of spice to India’s. Essentially anyone’s would use less spice in comparison. In fact, as shown in the link, India is known for contrasting flavors using odd spice combinations that most countries (including non european) would never use. It doesnt really prove your point. It just shows that you really dont understand how these things work. Your grasp of history is poor, because according to your other posts, you actually think white people invented racism. You keep mentioning atrocities Europeans committed and act like they are the only ones who did them, which gives you permission to be racist. You are the one who doesnt understand history. And you do not understand food culture among European countries. You are just driven by stereotypes and opinion peices. Hungarian paprika chicken Beef bourguignon Roasted gyro meat Just because they dont have spice blends with 30 components like many indian masalas, doesnt mean they arent seasoned. As someone who has made these dishes (and many others from various countries), and as someone with more education on the subject, I am here to tell you that you are wrong, misonformed, and racist. “the difference between white people and japanese people is that white people colonized, raped stole and destroyed, japanese people didn’t” sometimes i don’t even know what to say to shit like that. i… i can’t “HAHA WYPIPO TAKE JOKES SO SURIUS!”  *later*  “the difference between white people and japanese people is that white people colonized, raped stole and destroyed, japanese people didn’t““ the difference between white people and japanese people is that white people colonized, raped stole and destroyed, japanese people didn’t Yes. Hello. Korea and China both wanna have a word with you. Lmaoooo imagine denying Japanese colonialism. Like holy shit some of that happened in living memory.
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Ass, Fucking, and Future: fckin-deactivated20171107 I'm thinking about her ghettoinuyasha forbidden fruit saacmemes Why do grown ass adults want to eat Tide pods so much? kitswulf Because a ton of the visual/olfactory/ textural sensory information these pods give me the match nutritionally-dense fruit. It's got the oleic gleam of something high-fat like an avocado, but bright carotenoid-rich coloration like a berry that wants to be eaten by red seeing primates and birds. It tends to smell sweet and slightly floral, enhancing that effect. Similarly, when you hold it, it is quite dense (denser than water), but very soft and liquid, once again reaffirming that this "fruit" has either high sugar or high fat content and almost no cellulose to it. As a result, within me is a less-clever monkey just screaming to eat this delicious fruit in my hand about to go into the laundry, and it does in fact take willpower to tell him he's a stupid monkey and this is a bubble of foul- tasting poison. But every time I do laundry, this fucking limbic monstrosity rises again and assures me it's basically like a cherry but Even Better. I have legitimately debated just biting down on one in the hopes of inducing a deterrent memory to forestall this urge in the future, but that's what my goddamn mammal-brain wants me to fucking do and I refuse to let it win. ciphercoyote Human Brain: Don't eat the posion pod its fucking posion Monkey Brain: Eat the fruit pod its fruit Lizard Brain: The Washing Machine Is Vibrating Give It The Sex Fish Brain: Climb inside the washing machine it is safe 184,928 notes the forbidden fruit
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