Why them light-skinned niggas wantin look like Chipotle bags?

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Best Friend, Confused, and Dad: MAMMA, EVER SINCE I SAlV I'M ITALIAN, EVERYONE KEEP4 TEA IN ME AND AGKING IF I'M IN THE MAFIA NEXT TIME TELL THEM THEN THEY WILL FEAK YOU. 2srooky: giancarlovolpe: Based on a true story. this reminds me of a story that’s kind of an ongoing joke in my family.  I’m half German, and my father’s side of the family is full blooded German. My father owns a business that deals with a lot of international calls, and during my early tween years he got a lot of business calls at all hours of the day and night from all over the world.  Now, when i first met my best friends, I had them sleeping over at my house, and we were watching TV. Every few minutes the phone would ring, and our caller ID would project at the top of the television screen.  I was bullied a lot as a kid, so my dad told me to tell people if they asked what my father did, that he was in the German Mafia. So, naturally when my friends asked who was calling, I made the joke it was business cause my dad was in the German Mafia, and the joke stuck.  And it spread, too. Middle school was filled with jokes about my family and the mafia, but they were just jokes. That I was in the mafia, my dad was a mafia boss, etc. etc. Those jokes continued into high school, where, in my junior year I was in a big depressive spell. I wore my hair tied back from my face a lot, and in my history class, these jokes were cracked a little more often as we began our European Studies. One day, my History teacher, the most amazing teacher I had in high school, walked between me and my best friend, as our desks were right next to each other, while we had been making one of these jokes.  He paused, and reached out, tapping my right temple twice while a huge, cheeky grin spread on his face and he just went.  “Good to see you finished your induction.” and walked away. I was confused, my best friend and I were staring at each other for a solid ten minutes before we got back to work.  When I went home that night, I looked up a bunch of stuff about the German Mafia. The German Mafia would often do a tattoo of 3 dots on someone once they had finished their “trials” and were accepted. This was most often done in cases of murder, and other crimes. Where the tattoos were placed meant different things. Hands were the norm, but sometimes a tattoo would be placed on the face.  These tattoos are now mostly outdated, and are usually just prison tattoos done for years/crimes committed in prison, but some branches of Russian, Cuban, and German mafias still use the three dot tattoos.  I was flabbergasted for two reasons. One, that my teacher knew all of this about the German mafia, and, Two, that he pointed out the three freckles on my temple that make a perfect triangle.  For the rest of my Junior and Senior year, the mafia jokes dwindled less and less, because people actually believed I was in the mafia.  I never told them I wasn’t, either.

2srooky: giancarlovolpe: Based on a true story. this reminds me of a story that’s kind of an ongoing joke in my family.  I’m half German,...

Crying, Douchebag, and Fucking: geardrops: knitmeapony: demonhamster: despotic: suicidemydarling: gigantorthemooseking: I once went to a concert with a friend (I don’t remember the band, she dragged me along) when I was 16. They were starting a wall of death and this guy who was flirting with me decides it would be funny to pull my top down, exposing my breasts, then throw me in the middle of this wall of death right as it’s about to meet. When I stumble in the middle and hit the wall someone screamed “STOP! EXPOSED GIRL!” and I thought they were all going to oggle at me. Instead, one guy quickly helped me cover up, three more helped me to my feet, and another asked who did that. When I pointed out the guy, two of them looked at him, me, each other, then nodded and punched the guy in the face before forcing him into the wall that was about to form again. Metal men are gentlemenly as shit. This fucking this^^^  I’ve always loved this. I went to my first concert a few months ago and there were these really tall men with black vest tops and tattoos and piercings surrounding us screaming loudly when the music started playing, but then we realised this kid in the crowd had lost his mum so they tried to comfort him and when he started crying they asked him his name and he shakily sobbed “Eliot” at which point they lifted him in the air onto the shoulder’s and shouted at the top of their lungs “ELIOT’S MUM, ELIOT IS LOOKING FOR YOU. EXCUSE ME HAS ANYONE SEEN ELIOT’S MUM!!!” at which point Eliot started giggling between sobs until he finally found his mum while in the air. Seriously, I have felt safer in groups of death metal dudes than in the group of the preppiest preps that ever prepped. This holds true for so many shows I’ve been to. When there’s a douchebag, there’s usually just one or two, and the crowd handles it.
Dude, Fucking, and Gif: WillYouPressTheButton?.com I will not! You can shapeshift intout People will always know it's you any form you choose spaztomato13: wanderingwolfsbane: snippyschnapps: haiku-robot: rispahanguis: christiandevil7: nepetaloveme: tyfye49: kasaithederp: therapist-anon: cc-the-pathetic-nobody: chris-drawing-shack: weezy-pup: symmetrical-twin: perpetualcombustioninstruction: revereche: bogleech: elvenrainbow: shitsuren-chama: ocean-child-love: kaibas-paragraphical-mind: what-is-a-homestuck: WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT YOU COULD BE A FUCKING BADASS DRAGON THAT’S THE POINT “I AM A CREATURE OF DARKNESS” “oh hey sabrina.” I guess the point is that you could shapeshift into the body you always thought you’d grow into when you were a kid taller, shorter, slimmer, more muscular, purple hair, tattoos everywhere, tattoos nowhere,  every single shoe would fit you every single time you tried it on, every single article of clothing would fit your perfectly, all you have to do is transform slightly, you’d never run out of ‘your size’ again and you wouldn’t have to work for it at all, and you’d never be limitted by your bone structure or something. You could just transform at will. I don’t see how this is much of a downside When you turn into a sixty story tentacle demon and terrorize a city you want to get the credit you deserve Oh man that would be so sweet. I could be an annoying fuck as an insect or something but you couldn’t kill me because everyone would know That’s great but have you considered ~cosplay ~Halloween costumes ~acting ~cosplay ~stretching to reach stuff and shrinking to fit through spaces ~cosplay ~cosplay ~COSPLAY Dude this would literally be a trangender or genderfluid’s dream. PUSH DA BUTTON I’ll be able to be a cat my whole life! Yas! you could be a fucking furry, enough said. YOU WOULD NEVER HAVE TO PAY FOR TRANSPORTATION EITHER WANNA GO TO ANOTHER COUNTRY? BECOME AN ALBATROSS THEY FLY LONG DISTANCES ALL THE TIME OR HELL JUST BECOME A FUCKING DOLPHIN IF ITS ANOTHER CONTINENT Become a god. Just, become a god. Enough said. Snake, dragon, cat, lion, tiger, etc. *slams button* I could finally look in the mirror without gagging! :: presses button :: i could finally look in the mirror without gagging :: presses button ^Haiku^bot^7. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. | Welcome @image-transcribing-bot | Contact | HAIKU BOT NO | Good bot! | Meep morp! Zeet! Time to abuse THIS power This is always my go to answer when someone asks me about super powers. At least, the shapeshifting part anyway *SMASHES BUTTON* BEEEEEF
Complex, Drugs, and Gif: There are dealbreakers, too. Anyone who regularly Netflix-binges engages in social activism, or wears mascara more than twice a week is going to have to look elsewhere. "This may not be the right place," the Startup Castle says, if you - Watch more than 4 hours of TV/movie/game entertainment per week - Have more than 1 tattoo - Have ever attended more than 1 protest Make more than three posts a week to social media Listen to a songs with explicit lyrics more than an once a day Wear make-up more than twice a weelk - Own any clothing, shoes, watches, or handbags costing over $500 - Have bills that get paid by somebody else Drive a vehicle that was given to you by your parents - Get regular spending money or gifts from your parents - Have more than one internet app date per week - Have a complex diet that requires lots of refrigerator space - Drink alcohol more than 3 drinks per week - Use marijuana more than twice a year - Have been prescribed anything by a psychiatrist more than once - Use any other drug more than twice in your entire ajani-on-the-spot: gehayi: berlynn-wohl: hapabap: nazerine: plasmalogical: paxamericana: Silicon Valley’s ‘Startup Castle’ is looking for roommates, and the requirements are completely bonkers good thing i listen to exactly one song with explicit lyrics every day I’ve been saying this for a while but Startup Bro is the new and terrifying lovechild of the brogrammer and the business major and he is somehow even more self-centered and bigoted than either of them No, no, guys, look closely. This house is looking for extremely physically fit young men (No drugs, no makeup, no special diet, exercise 15 hrs a week) who are passive and docile (no protests, no music lyrics with swears) who, most of all, will not be missed if they disappear (very little social media presence, not rich enough to own expensive luxury items, no need to constantly be in contact with their parents over bills/gifts, few identifying markings like tattoos) This is obviously an organ harvesting operation. Actually it turned out that the guy who was running it wanted to create a quasi-paramilitary organization. There were so many horror stories about the place in the news that the landlord evicted everyone. (Gotta say, though, that I like the organ harvesting scheme better.) “It would have been better to have found out this was an organ harvesting scheme” is not a sentiment I expected to see today, and yet.

ajani-on-the-spot: gehayi: berlynn-wohl: hapabap: nazerine: plasmalogical: paxamericana: Silicon Valley’s ‘Startup Castle’ is lookin...

Bad, Brains, and Tattoos: sarajessica: Frank on a BMX. In a Bad Brains-tee. With his tattoos on display. Yeah.

sarajessica: Frank on a BMX. In a Bad Brains-tee. With his tattoos on display. Yeah.