Interruption
Interruption

Interruption

Undere
Undere

Undere

Coming Out
Coming Out

Coming Out

Not All Heros Wear Capes
Not All Heros Wear Capes

Not All Heros Wear Capes

aging
 aging

aging

chow
 chow

chow

too
too

too

hospitality
hospitality

hospitality

comely
comely

comely

helpful
helpful

helpful

🔥 Popular | Latest

Animals, Bones, and Church: teaboot The amount of times I could have been that white girl in the horror movie could honestly be a movie in itself and it's honestly a waste that my entire life isn't constantly recorded on film because it would be HILARIOUS teaboot 1. That one time I decided to see what was past the old gate in the woods, but when got there it had been smashed in half and there was a decapitated sheep head with no skin just off the trail, so instead I just turned around and went home. 2. That time some friends and I went camping and we found a pile of bones wrapped in a garbage bag buried under a log, but the adult supervisor told us it was nothing, so we just put it back and didn't talk about it again. 3. The time I was getting chased through the woods at night and I realized "wait it's dark as fuck so I just held still until the guy gave up and left. . The time this dude said he was in love with me and so he was going to cut my head off and dump my body in a lake, so l told him to grow the hell up, but then he got caught stealing girl's underwear a day later andI never saw him again 5. That one time in college where I was taking a shortcut on my home at night and a car followed me into a dark alley, so I stared directly into the driver's side of the window and walked towards it to psych them out 6. The night I was out on a walk and this old guy told me he'd locked his keys in his truck and that he needed someone my size to crawl in through the back window for him, so I told him you know that sounds super suspicious right and told him where to find a pay phone for a tow truck instead 7. The one time this random guy on the street said he was in love with me and so he was going to follow me home on my bus, so l clapped him on the shoulder and told him that if he got that close to my bus then I was going to throw him under the wheels, but then this really nice homeless man from Nigeria told the guy to fuck off and then checked to make sure he didn't follow me onboard 8. That big cat with yellow eyes who I found in a well and brought home who used to put rotting meat in my closet and wake me up by chewing on my face, until I put him back outside and never saw him again. 9. My one cousin who used to come over for the summer who kept calling me 'piñata and hitting me with sticks, until he went back home and was sent to juvie c got caught torturing animals cause he finally 10. The time I got lost on the way to a meeting and wound up at a circus tent instead, and got followed by a full-out clown for three vacant street blocks 11. The pet hamster I had when I was seven who would scream all night and eventually es- caped by ripping a bar out of its cage and wig- gling through the hole. My mom caught it and put it back but it lved another year and a half until one night the screaming just stopped 12. The time I was whistling in the woods and something started whistling back, so I went home 13. That one night at summer camp where a group of girls got together to play 'bloody mary in the lavatory and invited me to come with them so I said "no thanks" and stayed with the camp councillors and drank soup instead. 14. The old abandoned house I just moved into with the door that leads into a big empty room full of dirt and empty cooking pots that I just sort of... locked up forever and never gon ear 15. Once when I was at an ihop I saw a coffee mug do a full 360° spin with nobody touching it, so I said 'that was neat' and never ate there again 16. The time I took a photo of a big old raven sitting on the crucifix on top of the old town church cause it was the most goth thing l'd ever seen, right? But then it swooped down towards me, so I apologized immediately for being rude, and I felt a little silly for a while but the car that hit me on the way home didn't even leave a bruise so idk be nice to birds teaboot Sorry I know I bring this shit up a lot but sometimes im awake at night and I just. keep thinking teaboot I think the secret to survival is to be good to animals, stay away from men, and say "no elsean Source: teaboot 205.063 notes Teaboots Adventures As That White Girl in Horror Movies
Target, Tumblr, and Bear: haha-posts-blog-blog-blog-blog:did that bear eat a tent

haha-posts-blog-blog-blog-blog:did that bear eat a tent

4chan, Bad, and Be Like: snakegay why does so much post apocalypse media have people wearing straight up bdsm/fetish gear like. do the kinksters watch the world ending and think oh boy i can wear my bondage gear in public now" skelefolk thats actually exactly what happens broliloquy What I wanna know is why the spiky kink warriors are always the bad evi marauders. They might be into some weird shit and unafraid to show it but that doesn't mean they want to go around killing dudes. They're a tight-knit bunch. A lot of them are queer. They understand the importance of community If the government collapses and all laws come to an end, the people rampaging around killing and looting are gonna be like, frat boys and 4chan rejects. You can mistrust the bondage raiders all you like but they're definitely the ones you're going to run to for help when the neoliberal blood cultists and Nazi meme demons lay siege to your survivor enclave. There's gonna be gayboy berserkers busting up slaver gangs and burning down warboy frat houses. The assless-chaps leather daddies and weird petplay people are gonna be the accidental peacekeepers of the post-apocalyptic world just because they're the only motherfuckers who understand the importance of consent anymore Listen. Don't come to me asking how to get the secret cadre of bisexual death commandoes to protect your wretched tent village if you're scared that we might call in the kinksters for backup. I don't give a shit if they dress up like dogs and spend all day writing poems about butt plugs. There's assholes out there acting like Viad the Impaler on a meth bender and you're afraid of seeing a nipple. Fuck you. If you really want to get rid of the MRA death gangs you're going to have to accept that a lesbian chainsaw dominatrix or two might be invoived. its the tucking post-apocalypse my guy we gotta weigh our priorities here Source snakegay BDSMageddon
Bad, Barber, and Barbie: This is how she looks every time we're cooking and not giving her anything So I’m at a holiday party right. Next to me is a woman 43 years old fam she didn’t look older than 25. Drop dead gorgeous. And here’s this cosmetic surgeon saying he finnta do a procedure that eliminate these tiny a$$ wrinkles under he eyes and she was being polite but really wasn’t interested and bro I wanted to clock this ugly hair implant MF 😂. Like how u gon tell a woman at a party u gon upgrade her! Fam! She already a dime! Heck u gon upgrade?! Another lil homegirl of mine she just plain Barbie - put her lil a$$ in a pair of shorts and a corvette with Ken with the PP missin and bam, Barbie. She go to a ‘cosmetic dentist’ this MF said she has buck teeth. Lemme tell u...this cosmetic industry satanic 😂. They really lying to u women. Will a barber ever say u DONT need a haircut? Nah - or else he gon go broke! Same. These dudes gon make u feel like something wrong when u already perfect! “I’ll fix those stretch marks” OVER MY DEAD BODY Dr. FESSENJAN PULL A SCALPEL AND IMMA STAB U WITH IT. DONT BODY YA SELF 😂. “Smash we know u lying about the body positive thing to attract thick women” WELL BISH GIVE ME A PP DETECTOR TEST. Put some grey sweatpants on me. Turn around. Pull ya yoga pants down below them cheeks, show me them skretch marks. If I ain’t pitching a full tent, stab me 😂. “wow - you’re really making all the women who had surgery feel bad, we knew u were a Sh!thead.” Well hang on now. If YOU want it, YOU get it! I support that! U wanna get your nose shaped - do you! A$$ shots - do u! BA - do u! BUT DONT LET THE COSMETIC INDUSTRY GUIDE U. THEY GON LIE TO U AND MAKE U FIX SOMETHING THAT DONT NEED FIXING. THEY NEED TO - OR ELSE THEY GON GO OUT OF BUSINESS. LOVE YOURSELF (like I love you 😊). IF U WANNA DO SOMETHING FOR U THEN DO IT BUT DONT LET NOBODY WITH A PP TALK U INTO SOME SH!T LMAO BLESS UP 😍😂😂
Tumblr, Blog, and Http: tentacleheadcold: end0skeletal: This helpful stingray offered itself up as a tent for a diver who decided to have a lie down on the seabed at Grand Cayman. (x) Blankie

tentacleheadcold: end0skeletal: This helpful stingray offered itself up as a tent for a diver who decided to have a lie down on the seabe...