Fucke You
Fucke You

Fucke You

Pick
Pick

Pick

And One
And One

And One

Golden
Golden

Golden

Whags
Whags

Whags

Starts
Starts

Starts

Died
Died

Died

From
From

From

Caught
Caught

Caught

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Shitting

Shitting

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Ass, Bitch, and Fucking: dick-rider-dave-strider: strangelyobsessedwithstuff: vialsofbrightforgettingpowders: ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN SO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH. NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED. PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITH A BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE. NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS POST FOR AGESthanks for the tip karkat reference

dick-rider-dave-strider: strangelyobsessedwithstuff: vialsofbrightforgettingpowders: ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT ...

Ass, Bitch, and Bones: lol just got to this small kickback they've been playing Mo bamba for the 5th time already My dog Tyreke put me on to a halloween party we went to over the weekend. Boy told me it’s from this white girl he met on tinder. I seen Get out. Boy was hard headed. He never met her but he wanted me to come with him to the party. So I went. Party was a L off the strength they was blasting logic from the door. You don’t do that.. Then the boy on the aux threw on Mo bamba. That shit be crumping when your myPlayer loading up in 2k. Literally all the white girls put down they pumpkin spice lattes and slid right out of thier uggs. I done seen them form the most congruent electric slide ever seen. I got called Jamal about 4 times and Tyrone twice. One girl was twerking and her knees caps were smacking together like a sword fight. That looks bloody painful mate. I seen this one slutty nurse pull up on me to throw it back. I received the most detrimental twerk from this girl Kathy. Kathy if you reading this go home and don’t come back. The booty was like some unseasoned chicken cutlets. I grabbed her sharp ass hip bones and tried thrusting for this twerk. I tried to catch a wine with a booty that had .2% booty fat. Felt like I was slapping my meat on a cutting board. By the 5th time the song came on the cops pulled up. It was a fight outside. When Sheck Wes said “Oh! Fuck! Shit! Bitch!” I felt that spiritually. Me and Tyreke fled the scene like 2 legendary Pokémon. Nigga had the nerve to play it in the car. I made him take the bus home. That boy Momba better win rookie of the year on God

My dog Tyreke put me on to a halloween party we went to over the weekend. Boy told me it’s from this white girl he met on tinder. I seen Get...