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Confused, Crime, and Girls: Hey if you could eat any letter of the alphabet, what letter would you eat and why? Yesterday 6:48 PM I would eat Os but not the sad ones, only the CheeriOs Today 11:15 AM Hmm...that's a better response than any l've got before Let me guess most girls only want the D? But your saving that for later Nah, I've gotten like an F for no reason, and one said Y, but now that I think about it they may have been asking me Aha well Then tbhl was hella confused when you asked and I seriously thought it was a dick joke I can see that, but just going with a D is so uncreative Very true think. I like the way you Now what letter would you eat? Lol R because its the most sinister sounding. That's why it's called murder and not mukduk What's mukduk I have no idea, but I know what murder is What's that Like...when you kill someone and get charged with murder I think it's a fun word to say Yeah know I knew that I was just saying if that's what we were actually talking about here. But murders kinda interest me like I watch a lot of documentaries and conspiracy theories lol I don't like the parts of those documentaries that have blood Really? Yeah, I'm more into the whole theft crime thing. SometimesI like to imagine my perfect crime I break into Tiffany's at midnight Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning, the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in New Brunswick, but I go to Yukon. I don't trust her. Besides I like the cold. Thirty years later, get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier Sent Today 6:07 PM That's deep lol I don’t think she’s the one. *looks disappointingly into the camera*
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Ass, Dank, and Memes: WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY That’s deepπŸ˜±πŸ˜±πŸ’― by felixmarten_eats_ass FOLLOW 4 MORE MEMES.

That’s deepπŸ˜±πŸ˜±πŸ’― by felixmarten_eats_ass FOLLOW 4 MORE MEMES.

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Memes, πŸ€–, and Deep: gods I want to become the person that's deep inside of me, the one I'm always thinking about! πŸ‘•: @amirjamesclothiers

I want to become the person that's deep inside of me, the one I'm always thinking about! πŸ‘•: @amirjamesclothiers

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Ass, Bless Up, and Bruh: oh my god Dr Smashlove So my lil homegirl text me: "smash am I weird that I can really only cum from oral? I was with a guy and I couldn't cum from penetration and he was frustrated and said 'well there's a first time for everything.'..." OK it's four type of women out here lemme splain u: (1) girls who only cum from penetration. This type of girl DGAF about a tongue Bruh. That's the lil appetizer. U feel me? The lil mini-samosas at the Indian restaurant. That ain't what she here for. She want u to go Floyd Fvcking Mayweather on the Punani Bruh. She want the four walls of her Punani blown out and rearranged. That lil tongue game don't interest her. This category include freaks and ladies with daddy issues for whom pain is as important or more important than pleasure πŸ€—. (2) This girl crave the soft, warm, wet gyrations of that tongue sending her into the stratosphere where she up in the clouds hi fiving birds. And Zeus. And shit. (Or so they tell me YungTornadoTung πŸ˜πŸ˜‚). (3) This girl just keep cumming Bruh. I put my tongue on her, boom. I hit that deep back stroke, she arching her back and shaking and talking in tongues like she done caught the Holy Spirit. Two fingers under the table at a steakhouse Bruh she bussing non stop while I feed her bites of lobster mashed potatoes. If u find this girl marry her Bruh u got no choice. She will make u feel like MF Superman β˜„οΈ. (4) This type ain't gon cum regardless. I've been with this type exactly once. Sadly, this type will keep apologizing like "I LOVED IT OMG YOU'RE AMAZING I JUST CAN'T CUM." Don't fall on your sword - just make it nice for her and don't put pressure on her. Now as for old boy with his "there's a first time for everything" lookin ass, listen, Mr. Lookin Ass. Ladies gon love what they love. Who TF are u to pop off passive aggressively because she didn't massage your ego by cumming for u the way u wanted her to? Smfh. Let her do her. Maybe she ain't all enchanted with the PP like that, like she enjoy it but she crave other tings. U got a tongue bih, use it. Don't be snide. U feel me? Take their presence as a blessing and make it special. ALWAYS MAKE YOUR LOVER FEEL SPECIAL. IF U DON'T, SOMEONE ELSE WILL. BLESS UP πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
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