🔥 Popular | Latest

Apparently, Children, and Christmas: awkward. @howtobeprada imagine if you called the wrong number and "mom?" "no this is Morgan freeman" Reply Retweet Favorite voroxpete: arctic-hands: therobotmonster: kuroba101: prismatic-bell: HERE’S THE THING THOUGH I used to work for a call center and I was doing a political survey and I called this number that was randomly generated for me and the way our system worked was voice-activated so when the other person said hello you’d get connected to them, so I just launch right into my “Harvard University and NPR blah blah blah” thing and then there’s this long pause and I think the person’s hung up even though I didn’t hear a click And then I hear “you shouldn’t be able to call this number.” So I apologize and go into the preset spiel about because we aren’t selling anything, etc. etc. and the answer I get is “No, I know that. What I mean is that it should be impossible for you to call this number, and I need to know how you got it.” I explain that it’s randomly generated and I’m very sorry for bothering him, and go to hang up. And before I can click terminate, I hear: “Ma’am, this is a matter of national security.” I accidentally called the director of the FBI. My job got investigated because a computer randomly spit out a number to the Pentagon. This is my new favourite story. When I was in college I got a job working for a company that manages major air-travel data. It was a temp gig working their out of date system while they moved over to a new one, since my knowing MS Dos apparently made me qualified. There was no MS Dos involved. Instead, there was a proprietary type-based OS and an actually-uses-transistors refrigerator-sized computer with switches I had to trip at certain times during the night as I watched the data flow from six pm to six AM on Fridays and weekends. If things got stuck, I reset the server.  The company handled everything from low-end data (hotel and car reservations) to flight plans and tower information. I was weighed every time I came in to make sure it was me. Areas of the building had retina scanners on doors.  During training. they took us through all the procedures. Including the procedures for the red phone. There was, literally, a red phone on the shelf above my desk. “This is a holdover from the cold war.” They said. “It isn’t going to come up, but here’s the deal. In case of nuclear war or other nation-wide disaster, the phone will ring. Pick up the phone, state your name and station, and await instructions. Do whatever you are told.” So my third night there, it’s around 2am and there’s a ringing sound.  I look up, slowly. The Red phone is ringing. So I reach out, I pick up the phone. I give my name and station number. And I hear every station head in the building do the exact same. One after another, voices giving names and numbers. Then silence for the space of two breaths. Silence broken by… “Uh… Is Shantavia there?” It turns out that every toll free, 1-900 or priority number has a corresponding local number that it routs to at its actual destination. Some poor teenage girl was trying to dial a friend of hers, mixed up the numbers, and got the atomic attack alert line for a major air-travel corporation’s command center in the mid-west United States. There’s another pause, and the guys over in the main data room are cracking up. The overnight site head is saying “I think you have the wrong number, ma’am.” and I’m standing there having faced the specter of nuclear annihilation before I was old enough to legally drink. The red phone never rang again while I was there, so the people doing my training were only slightly wrong in their estimation of how often the doomsday phone would ring.  Every time I try to find this story, I end up having to search google with a variety of terms that I’m sure have gotten me flagged by some watchlist, so I’m reblogging it again where I swear I’ve reblogged it before. But none of these stories even come close to the best one of them all; a wrong number is how the NORAD Santa Tracker got started. Seriously, this is legit. In December 1955, Sears decided to run a Santa hotline.  Here’s the ad they posted. Only problem is, they misprinted the number.  And the number they printed?  It went straight through to fucking NORAD.  This was in the middle of the Cold War, when early warning radar was the only thing keeping nuclear annihilation at bay.  NORAD was the front line. And it wasn’t just any number at NORAD.  Oh no no no. Terri remembers her dad had two phones on his desk, including a red one. “Only a four-star general at the Pentagon and my dad had the number,” she says. “This was the ‘50s, this was the Cold War, and he would have been the first one to know if there was an attack on the United States,” Rick says. The red phone rang one day in December 1955, and Shoup answered it, Pam says. “And then there was a small voice that just asked, ‘Is this Santa Claus?’ ” His children remember Shoup as straight-laced and disciplined, and he was annoyed and upset by the call and thought it was a joke — but then, Terri says, the little voice started crying. “And Dad realized that it wasn’t a joke,” her sister says. “So he talked to him, ho-ho-ho’d and asked if he had been a good boy and, ‘May I talk to your mother?’ And the mother got on and said, ‘You haven’t seen the paper yet? There’s a phone number to call Santa. It’s in the Sears ad.’ Dad looked it up, and there it was, his red phone number. And they had children calling one after another, so he put a couple of airmen on the phones to act like Santa Claus.” “It got to be a big joke at the command center. You know, ‘The old man’s really flipped his lid this time. We’re answering Santa calls,’ ” Terri says. And then, it got better. “The airmen had this big glass board with the United States on it and Canada, and when airplanes would come in they would track them,” Pam says. “And Christmas Eve of 1955, when Dad walked in, there was a drawing of a sleigh with eight reindeer coming over the North Pole,” Rick says. “Dad said, ‘What is that?’ They say, ‘Colonel, we’re sorry. We were just making a joke. Do you want us to take that down?’ Dad looked at it for a while, and next thing you know, Dad had called the radio station and had said, ‘This is the commander at the Combat Alert Center, and we have an unidentified flying object. Why, it looks like a sleigh.’ Well, the radio stations would call him like every hour and say, ‘Where’s Santa now?’ ” Terri says. For real. “And later in life he got letters from all over the world, people saying, ‘Thank you, Colonel,’ for having, you know, this sense of humor. And in his 90s, he would carry those letters around with him in a briefcase that had a lock on it like it was top-secret information,” she says. “You know, he was an important guy, but this is the thing he’s known for.” “Yeah,” Rick [his son] says, “it’s probably the thing he was proudest of, too.” So yeah.  I think that might be the best wrong number of all time. Source:  http://www.npr.org/2014/12/19/371647099/norads-santa-tracker-began-with-a-typo-and-a-good-sport
Save
Ass, Beautiful, and College: shared s photo Must not have any women in your life you care about. and you have post plenty of crap, thatI moved on from. Can you show me the same respect? If so, you might be leaning towards conservatism. LOL. I'm only joking Like Reply 21 hrs December 21 at 9:55am- Like Reply-Yesterday at 1020am A Hide 12 Replies Really You do realize your antics are part of the IT WAS ME! I'M RESPONSIBLE FOR DONALD TRUMP GETTIN ELECTED, NOT THE RUSSIANS, NOT THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE So Hillary was a champion for women's rights? problem, and nothing to do with a solution! This is a prime example of a true bigotl So maybe you should start thinking about yours, before you make foolish comments about minel Like Reply-Yesterday at 1:34pm How quickly you forget that she took money for her campaign from people who STONE WOMEN TO DEATHilll They literally form a circle around them and pelt them with rocks until they die! And if a woman claims rape there has to be a witness... And don't forget her husband's sexcapades. She was literally accused, IN COURT, of threatening the VICTIMS to keep their mouths shut. Not to mention the fact that I'm sure EVERY American male has had worse conversations with friends than the lame tape released. Grab them by the pussy? Seriously??? Watclh any porn, which I know you do, and tell me thats less "degrading". If the unsubstantiated accusations and that sorry excuse for locker room talk is all you're basing your opinion on, then you really need to wake up and turn oft MSNBC Like Reply-1-21 hrs What? Please don't dismiss my comment as "antics. This is pure observation. Your dismissive response is antics. My comment is serious Like Reply Yesterday at 2:48pm It was unprovoked and having a daughter makes extremely uncalled for Like Reply-23 hr Unprovoked on a facebook post which is basically Iam all woman! I have been in voted for Trump"?? If my comment is "extremely uncalled for" because you have a daughter then what is your vote for Trump? l thought you might be able to defend your vote for someone so sexist. I'm still waiting Like Reply 22 hrs life for 20 years, and I care about him, his well being, and his beautiful baby girl. I voted for Trump! Like- Reply-19 hrs-Edited Good on ya Believing the other candidate Sexist. stop crying dudel Its overl Trump is your next president Deal with it Like Reply-1-21 hrs was pro woman's rights just because she has a vagina is like saying Obama did anything for the black community just because he's black... Like Reply 1 -19 hrs IT WAS ME! I VOTED FOR HIM Here's the deal. I will post what i want to post, MAA Hahaha when Iwant to post it. As you, can do as you please. If you dont like it and can't move on from it. Then please fill free to delete me! Its your right! This MEME, if you call it that was meant to be a joke. For all the crying ass liberals out there, trying to find that reason why they didnt winl You want to scream sexist? Fine, but take that shit else where. I dont want to hear about it! Thank You Like Reply-2-21 hrs Like Reply 19 hrs Look at all the people who need that safe space they always whine about LOLI Stll waiting for that rational justification by the way Like Reply-17 hrs Edited 1 Like-Comment → Share Write a reply Oh, and you have post plenty of crap, that I moved on nd 11 others from. Can you show me the same respect? If so, you might be leaning towards conservatism. LOL. I'm only joking l ike Renlv 21 hrs Me too Must not have any women in your life you care about. Like Reply 1 Yesterday at 2:11pm Like Reply-Yesterday at 10:20am s a dude Funny Like Reply 18 hrs is a dude Legend is a female memehumor: Rational discourse about politics
Save
Confused, Food, and Lit: tsukidaisy some of the best customers l've had at Dollar General the woman who comes in every day and buys a single can of cat food. The brand she buys has the deal that if you buy 5 cans, you get them for $2. When I told her that she said "I don't need five at once. Terrence only needs one a day." The old man who came in and asked me "Why do you think McDonalds doesn't sell hotdogs?" When I told him I didn't know, he said "Well, I guess it would be hard to keep a straight face and order a McWeenie." e The teenage girl whose boyfriend held her foot up as she hopped around the store to get her things. Come to find out that she had lost her flip flop and didn't want to step on the floor with her bare foot. The elderly spanish man who comes in every day to get a pack of Marlboro Lights. His english isn't very good, so when I asked him if he wanted shorts or 100s, he looked at me confused. Realizing he didn't understand,I said "Pequeño?" His face lit up and nodded enthusiastically. Now every time he leaves, he smiles and says "Hasta mañana" and I say it back The other day when I was outside on a smoke break, he was riding on a bike and yelled "HASTA MANANAAAAAA" as he rode by . The old woman who came in and bought 24 air fresheners. I asked her if she was stocking up, and she told me about how she got a new boyfriend who lived in a mansion, and that she was putting one in each of the rooms. She then proceeded to tell me about how the mansion is haunted e The little kid who was probably around 4 or 5 who ripped open a pack of skittles. As me and the people in line watched the skittles scatter across the floor, he looked up and said. "It wasn't me." Source: tsukidaisy 10,328 notes Tales from Dollah Gen'ral

Tales from Dollah Gen'ral

Save