Firme
Firme

Firme

But
But

But

Old Paintings
Old Paintings

Old Paintings

Old Painting
Old Painting

Old Painting

Bibled
Bibled

Bibled

the casting
 the casting

the casting

apologies
 apologies

apologies

short
 short

short

Apologize
 Apologize

Apologize

evidently
evidently

evidently

🔥 | Latest

Animals, Ass, and Be Like: u/AndrewY17 1d i.redd.it This is why i cant get house @DrSmashlove A lot of times at work when u ask somebody how they doing, they say “ok”, “eh”, “I’m alright”, “TIRED LOL”, “ugh”, “is it Friday yet”. U feel me? U reply in a slouchy, exhausted manner. But see Bruh one of my partners at the firm named Todd, he ain’t like that. He small. Real small, like if u had a running start and played soccer as a kid, u could punt the him across the city lol. But he always got a fresh haircut. Always rock a nice pastel Hermès tie with lil animals on it. Always got his shoes shined. And when u ask him how he doing, he got one reply, always: “KILLING IT.” I’m dead ass. That’s what he say every time: “KILLING IT” 😂. Sometimes he say it aggressively: “KILLING IT 😳.” Sometimes he say it in a sing-songy manner: “killing it ☺️.” But regardless, it’s always the same. Homeboy is a caveman. Don’t let the Ferragamo loafers fool u. He got his spear out and he ready to slay this MF Work. He ain’t doing work. He bout to GIVE U THIS WORK. U feel me? U GON GET ALL THIS WORK 😂. He gon talk his sh!t and he gon dance. And that’s what he do. I’ve pitched clients with him and dude’s talk game is majestic. He pitch clients in areas of work we never done before and he make it sound like this is all we do. I ask him “bruv. How did u just do that? We don’t even do this type of work?” And he say “smash, relax. We’ll ‘ham and egg’ it.” I don’t eat pork but I know exactly what dude mean and I say it all the time. It means “we’ll figure it out.” Be like Todd bruv. Get into work. Kill it. Never be intimidated by something u never done before. Identify a co worker with experience in this area and say “hey Karen can I take you to coffee and chat a little bit about a task I’ve been assigned that I haven’t done before?” She’ll never turn u down. NOBODY TURN DOWN FREE PUMPKIN SPICE LATTES IN OCTOBER LOL. Investment: $4. Return on investment: immeasurable, because U gained a skill set. Kill it. Ham and Egg it. (Halal ham tho. Like ham made from beef 🤗😂). Be enthusiastic. Be a winner. U get me! Bless up! 😍😂😂😂

A lot of times at work when u ask somebody how they doing, they say “ok”, “eh”, “I’m alright”, “TIRED LOL”, “ugh”, “is it Friday yet”. U fee...

Apparently, Ass, and Bless Up: Puppy eyes Life update: remember the caption I wrote about bending down and busting the ass seam out of my suit pants? Well I sewed them up myself (as I wrote back then) with light grey thread but the suit was dark grey. To me the shit look fine. Like the stitching was on point low key I was proud of myself lol. But lo and behold yesterday I get an email from my homie who is head of facilities at the firm: "smash, it has come to my attention that you may not be aware that there is a large tear in the seat of your pants." OK. So lemme be clear. Yes the stitching down my ass crack is contrasting. However it is not a large tear. In fact the tear has been repaired. THE LARGER ISSUE AT HAND IS WHY THE SECRETARIES HAD TO GANG UP AND APPROACH THE HEAD OF FACILITIES TO SEND THIS EMAIL. WHY YALL LOOKING AT SMASH'S BUTT CHEEKS IN THE FIRST PLACE, THIS THE REAL QUESTION. I CAME TO THIS FIRM READY TO PROVE MYSELF. I DONE PULLED THE MULTIPLE ALL NIGHTERS. I DONE WORKED IN SEVERAL OF OUR OFFICES GLOBALLY. DONE MISSED EVERY PERSONAL ENGAGEMENT IMAGINABLE TO GET DEALS DONE. AND AFTER ALL THIS, I'M JUST A SEXY PIECE OF HALAL ASS-MEAT FOR THE SECRETARIES TO GIGGLE AT. OK. SO THIS IS WHERE THINGS STAND. JUST EYE CANDY FOR YALL. WELL SAY NO MORE. TOMORROW IMMA WEAR HIJAB. AND A TRENCH COAT. "Have you seen smash today in a erykah badu head wrap? Did he lose his mind??" NAH BUT APPARENTLY YALL CAN'T STOP STARING SO I HAD TO CUT OFF THE SUPPLY. FIND ANOTHER PAIR OF BOUNTEOUS ASS CHEEKS TO OGLE THIS ONE IS OVER ISS CANCELED BLESS UP 😒😂😂😂 (📸: Reddit u-cantthinkofanamern)

Life update: remember the caption I wrote about bending down and busting the ass seam out of my suit pants? Well I sewed them up myself (as ...

Ali, Makeup, and Memes: ENTERTAINMENT OSCARS 2017 Feb. 27 'Moonlight' wins Oscar for best picture after 'La La Land' is mistakenly announced as winner Roughly two minutes after Hollywood musical La La Land was named best picture at Sunday's 89th Academy Awards, a stunning turn of events occurred that surely brought a smile to Steve Harvey’s face. Best picture presenters Faye Dunaway and Warren Beatty somehow got Emma Stone's best actress card instead of the right one, and it was in fact the arthouse darling Moonlight that won the award. Pricewaterhousecooper LLP has accepted the blame and apologzed for the gaffe. The firm has been involved with the Oscar’s for 83 years and issued a statement saying they are investigating the matter. Moonlight won 3 awards total while La La Land won 6. _ These are the winners of the 89th annual Academy Awards: Best Picture: “Moonlight” Actor: Casey Affleck, “Manchester by the Sea” Actress: Emma Stone, “La La Land” Supporting Actor: Mahershala Ali, “Moonlight” Supporting Actress: Viola Davis, “Fences” Animated Feature: “Zootopia” Cinematography: “La La Land” Costume Design: “Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them” Direction: Damien Chazelle, “La La Land” Documentary Feature: “O.J.: Made in America” Documentary Short: “The White Helmets” Film Editing: “Hacksaw Ridge” Foreign Language Film: “The Salesman” Makeup and Hairstyling: “Suicide Squad”

Roughly two minutes after Hollywood musical La La Land was named best picture at Sunday's 89th Academy Awards, a stunning turn of events occ...

Memes, Reuters, and 🤖: NEws VW's Boss Has Declared That Downsizing ls Dead Via @carthrottlenews - When first perusing the press release for the facelifted VW Golf late last year, the first thing we noticed wasn’t the GTI’s power boost, nor the autonomous-ish tech. No, it was the new 1.5-litre TSI ‘Evo’ engine. - It’s a replacement for the old 1.4, so it represents something of an oddity in today’s downsize crazy car industry: an upsized engine. And it’s something we can expect a lot more of. When we queried the increase in capacity with VW chairman Dr. Herbert Diess at the refreshed Golf’s launch this week, he confidently declared that: “The trend of downsizing is over.” The reason is simple, with Dr. Diess adding: “Emissions tend to go up as engines get smaller.” - While it’s significant for a major industry figure for Diess to admit this, it’s not a surprise. It’s clear from real-world economy figures that while downsizing works jolly nicely on paper thanks to the highly unrealistic NEDC testing cycle, smaller turbo engines just don’t deliver anything like MPG and emissions figures they’re supposed to. - All this follows a report in Reuters last October, citing industry sources that indicated VW and other manufacturers are planning to scrap or increase the capacity of some of their smallest engines. The same report also mentioned Renault’s 0.9-litre H4Bt actually injects excess amounts of petrol to stop it overheating, for example, which is so stupidly wasteful it’s almost funny. - In the case of VW, what’s interesting is that while Dr. Diess concedes “displacements will go up,” he reckons the firm’s dinky 1.0-litre turbo three-pot is safe for now. “We will offer a three-cylinder 1.0-litre which is a very competent engine, but we don’t see any engines below that anymore,” he said. - The world of small engines is set to get quite interesting over the next few years.

Via @carthrottlenews - When first perusing the press release for the facelifted VW Golf late last year, the first thing we noticed wasn’t th...

Af, Apparently, and Boxing: October 17, 2016 VIAUSPS First Class Mail Technical Examiner Firearms and Ammunition Technology Division 244 Needy Road Suite 1600 Martinsburg, WV 25405 RE: NFA Firearm Technical Question Ma'am or Sir I am writing you in rcgards to related Lechnical questions raised b ne of my clients. Despite the apparent content of the questions, I believe my client is quite serious about the questions and that your answers would certainly be interesting, and helpful to the firearm manufacturing and using community as a whole Certainly, given the financial implications my client should be addressed as a other tech Cal letter from a person conccrned about the NIA implications of their proposed firearm modifications Tn a previous Technical Tetter from your office, you determined that ho a Sig Tac SB15 pisto Klerin! stab ning brace would be in improper use of said brace a he attached pis Lol or automa y Conver firearm into a short barreled rifle or short barreled shotgun without a proper NFA tax stamp Since that determination, a popular internet meme letter had circulated purporting to ask for the technical specifications of the term "shouldering" and whether or not the SB15 must be shouldered "between the shooter's brachial joint extending to the collarbone," or if shouldering would occur should the SBi5 be firmly rested, n order to assisu firing, against any pocket or portion af the human body Iha nitial parody lelter was addressing, specifically, the ea of mou g a Fleshlight sex toy to the SB15 and stabilizing the pistol or "firearm using the male crotch and penis My client appears to actually be considering modifying an SB15 in that exact manner for attachment to an AR-15 pistol or shotgun derived firearm." It is not my place to enguire, nor do I wan o know if s for e purposes of an adult film or for calering to a particular sexual fetish, b ny duty to make sure my client is legally covered in their enterprise Therefore, I ask the following questions, using the attached image, which was apparently created by ie riginal writer of the parody lctter, as an cxample of my client's intent. 1. What exacty constitutes improper "shouldering" of a SigTac SB15 pisrol stabilizing brace terms of placement within the pocket between the brachial joint and collarbone, and in terms of the percentage of the rear surface area of the brace placed within said pocket and the firmness with which the brace rests agains said area of the human body? shouldering is inclusive of firmly pressing said brace aginst o er areas of the body, would the pistol or firearm" be considered "shouldcrcd'' if th attached Sigiac SB15 bra wa s modified to include a Fleshlight or dildo sex toy and then pressed firmly onto or into a person's genitals 3. Related to the answers to those questions, if "shouldering" is dependent upon the total arca pressed firmly into the pocket adjacent to the collarbone, would such a modification as described in the second question b shouldered" if pressed firmly to that area, or would the genera narrowness and unsuitabilily of the Page 1 of 2 nodification for traditional stabilization lcave it outside of the definition of "shouldering I know this is a weird one, but I appreciate your taking the tune to address these questions in a professional and timely manner. Sincerely, Benjamin Blatt Attorney at Law 574.360.4039 BblatL11@gmail.com P O. Box 221 South Bend, IN 46624-0221 File, Client CC Attachments: Internet found image of Sie lac SB15 Tistol Stabilizing Brace modificd with Theshlight sex loy. Page 2 of 2 U.S. Department ot Justice Bureau unAluethal, Tobacco. Kurearms and Exploxives 3311 31 5115 Benjamin Platt PO Box 22 S Hull Bend TN 45624-0221 Dcar Mr. Blatt: Ihis is in reference ka ynuT FTTL'spondcDck.dared october 17, 2nufir othe Rurvau of Alcolol Tobacco. Fircuns, and Explosive (ATT) Firearms Technology Industry Services: Branch. FlisB rospectfully lines Tespond to your inquiries 1egarding lhu SigTau SE15 pistol with lhe Ficshlight attachment. LLerely youns: Michael R. Cun'Liy Thiel Fircamus. Icchnology IndusIry Services Branch. Dear Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, Can You Mount a Fleshlight on . . .

Dear Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, Can You Mount a Fleshlight on . . .

Bad, Come Over, and Complex: A famous restaurant in NYC decided to hire a firm to figure out why they kept getting bad reviews. What this firm discovered is quite interesting. Below is a transcript that the restaurant posted on Craigslist after they discovered what it was... We are a popular restaurant for both locals and tourists alike. Having been in business for many years, we noticed that although the number of customers we serve on a daily basis is almost the same today as it was 10 years ago, the service just seems super slow even though we added more staff and cut back on the menu items... One of the most common complaints on review sites against us and many restaurants in the area is that the service was slow and/or they needed to wait a bit long for a table. We decided to hire a firm to help us solve this mystery, and naturally the first thing they blamed it on was that the employees need more training and that maybe the kitchen staff is just not up to the task of serving that many customers Like most restaurants in NYC we have a surveillance system, and unlike today where it's a digital system, 10 years ago we still used special high capacity tapes to record al activity. At any given time we had 4 special Sony systems recording multiple cameras. We would store the footage for 90 days just in case we needed it for something. The firm we hired suggested we locate some of the older tapes and analyze how the staff behaved 10 years ago versus how they behave now. We went down to our storage room but we couldn't find any tapes at all. We did find the recording devices, and luckily for us, each device has 1 tape in it that we simply never removed when we upgraded to the new digital system The date stamp on the old footage was Thursday July 1, 2004. The restaurant was very busy that day. We loaded up the footage on a large monitor, and next to it on a separate monitor loaded up the footage of Thursday July 3 2014, with roughly the same amount of customers as ten years before. I will quickly outline the findings. We carefully looked at over 45 transactions in order to determine the data below 2004: Customers walk in They gets seated and are given menus, out of 45 customers 3 request to be seated elsewhere Customers on average spend 8 minutes before closing the menu to show they are ready to order Waiters shows up almost instantly takes the order Appetizers are fired within 6 minutes, obviously the more complex items take longer Out of 45 customers 2 sent items back. Waiters keep an eye out for their tables so they can respond quickly if the customer needs something After guests are done, the check delivered, and within 5 minutes they leave Average time from start to finish: 1:05 2014: Customers walk in. Customers get seated and is given menus, out of 45 customers 18 requested to be seated elsewhere Before even opening the menu they take their phones out, some are taking photos while others are simply doing something else on their phone sorry we have no clue what they are doing and do not monitor customer WIFI activity). 7 out of the 45 customers had waiters come over right away, they showed them something on their phone and spent an average of 5 minutes of the waiter's time. Given this is recent footage, we asked the waiters about this and they explained those customers had a problem connecting to the WIFI and demanded the waiters try to help them. Finally the waiters are walking over to the table to see what the customers would like to order. The majority have not even opened the menu and ask the waiter to wait a bit. Customer opens the menu, places their hands holding their phones on top of it and continue doing whatever on their phone Waiter returns to see if they are ready to order or have any questions. The customer asks for more time. Finally they are ready to order Total average time from when the customer was seated until they placed their order 21 minutes. Food starts getting delivered within 6 minutes, obviously the more complex items take way longer 26 out of 45 customers spend an average of 3 minutes taking photos of the food 14 out of 45 customers take pictures of each other with the food in front of them or as they are eating the food. This takes on average another 4 minutes as they must review and sometimes retake the photo. 9 out of 45 customers sent their food back to reheat. Obviously if they didn't pause to do whatever on their phone the food wouldn't have gotten cold 27 out of 45 customers asked their waiter to take a group photo. 14 of those requested the waiter retake the photo as they were not pleased with the first photo. On average this entire process between the chit chatting and reviewing the photo taken added another 5 minutes and obviousy caused the waiter not to be able to take care of other tables he/she was serving. Given in most cases the customers are constantly busy on their phones it took an average of 20 minutes more from when they were done eating until they requested a check. Furthermore once the check was delivered it took 15 minutes longer than 10 years ago for them to pay and leave. 8 out of 45 customers bumped into other customers or in one case a waiter (texting while walking) as they were either walking in or out of the Average time from start to finish: 1:55 We are grateful for everyone who comes into our restaurant, after all there are so many choices out there. But can you please be a bit more considerate? <p>This Restaurant Kept Getting Awful Reviews. Then They Discovered This…</p>

<p>This Restaurant Kept Getting Awful Reviews. Then They Discovered This…</p>