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The Future Memes

Its 2016
Its 2016
The
The
The Future Is Now
The Future Is Now
Picture Of
Picture Of
Credit
Credit
This Is Too Much
This Is Too Much
Disappear
Disappear
Credits
Credits
And
And
Potatoing
Potatoing 


                

            

        
    











    
    






    

    
        
            
                

                    

                        
                    

                    
                    

                        
                            God-Willing, the Itsmaysmemes Instagram Is the Future of Fashion
                        
                    

                    
                

            
        
    
    





            

            
            

                

                    
                

                

                    
                    
                    

                        


	


    🔥 Popular | Latest





    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            
            
        

    

    
    

        

            




    Aladdin, Candy, and Children: Toy Story: Andy's Parents Are Divorcing
 You never see the Dad
 They are moving (to a smaller house no less
 The Mom's wedding ring is off in the shot where she picks up the Burz box
 -Andy is introverted and emotionally attached to inanimate, masculine figures
 -They get a puppy (surprisingly common for divorcees)
 None of the babies in "Rugrats" actually exist, but they are all instead
 figments of Angelica's imagination, as result of her parent's
 negligence. Chuckie died with his mother, which explains how much
 of a nervous wreck his father is. Tommy was a stillborn baby, which
 explains why his father, Stu, was always in the basement making
 toys for the son he never had. Finally, the DeVilles had an abortion
 To compensate for not knowing the sex of the baby, Angelica
 invented twins in her head, one boy, one girl
 Willy Wonka knew those children would die in his factory, After Augustus gets
 sucked up the shoot, they all hop on board the boat through the tunnel of doom.
 The boat doesn't have two extra vacant seats thoughh Iit was designed with prior
 knowledge that they would lose two participants before that point. Later they
 drive a creanm spewing car with only four seats. Did they have another car
 waiting in the garage in case the others made it? Of course not. Willy Wonka
 uses children to make candy
 There's a scene in "Aladdin where Genie calls Aladdin's clothes 0
 3rd century. However, as we all know, the Genie was locked inside a
 lamp for the past 10,000 years, meaning that there is no way he could
 have known what the 3rd century was like.This means that Aladdin
 actually takes place in the FUTURE, in at least 10,300 AD. The movie
 itself is set in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, one where only some
 Arabic culture has survived. The things called "magic" are actually just
 some of the technological marvels left behind by the previous
 civilization. These include flying carpets and genetically engineered
 parrots which can comprehend human speech instead of just mimicking
 it How else could the Genie do impressions of ancient, long-dead
 celebrities like Groucho Marx, Jack Nicholson, etc?
 Courage the Cowardly Dog is actually a normal dog
 and he sees the world through a dog's eyes. All the
 villains in the show are just normal people, but to a
 little dog they seem scary. They don't actually live in
 the middle of Nowhere, but since his owners are too
 old to take him outside for walks, he only knows
 what's around his immediate property, and everything
 beyond that is nothing because he's never seen it.
 Game begins with
 curtain opening
 shadows on
 Blocks bolted to
 more shadows
 on skyline
 Exit stage right;
 end of set
 Platforms hanging La
 from roof, sticking
 out through slots in
 backdrop running
 via hidden machines
 behind set
 Super Mario Bros. 3 never happened
 It was all just a stage show. A play
 Mario was never once in any real danger
 You were merely the audience
lolzandtrollz:

Oh No, My Poor Childhood Memories
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                
                    Aladdin, Candy, and Children: Toy Story: Andy's Parents Are Divorcing
 You never see the Dad
 They are moving (to a smaller house no less
 The Mom's wedding ring is off in the shot where she picks up the Burz box
 -Andy is introverted and emotionally attached to inanimate, masculine figures
 -They get a puppy (surprisingly common for divorcees)
 None of the babies in "Rugrats" actually exist, but they are all instead
 figments of Angelica's imagination, as result of her parent's
 negligence. Chuckie died with his mother, which explains how much
 of a nervous wreck his father is. Tommy was a stillborn baby, which
 explains why his father, Stu, was always in the basement making
 toys for the son he never had. Finally, the DeVilles had an abortion
 To compensate for not knowing the sex of the baby, Angelica
 invented twins in her head, one boy, one girl
 Willy Wonka knew those children would die in his factory, After Augustus gets
 sucked up the shoot, they all hop on board the boat through the tunnel of doom.
 The boat doesn't have two extra vacant seats thoughh Iit was designed with prior
 knowledge that they would lose two participants before that point. Later they
 drive a creanm spewing car with only four seats. Did they have another car
 waiting in the garage in case the others made it? Of course not. Willy Wonka
 uses children to make candy
 There's a scene in "Aladdin where Genie calls Aladdin's clothes 0
 3rd century. However, as we all know, the Genie was locked inside a
 lamp for the past 10,000 years, meaning that there is no way he could
 have known what the 3rd century was like.This means that Aladdin
 actually takes place in the FUTURE, in at least 10,300 AD. The movie
 itself is set in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, one where only some
 Arabic culture has survived. The things called "magic" are actually just
 some of the technological marvels left behind by the previous
 civilization. These include flying carpets and genetically engineered
 parrots which can comprehend human speech instead of just mimicking
 it How else could the Genie do impressions of ancient, long-dead
 celebrities like Groucho Marx, Jack Nicholson, etc?
 Courage the Cowardly Dog is actually a normal dog
 and he sees the world through a dog's eyes. All the
 villains in the show are just normal people, but to a
 little dog they seem scary. They don't actually live in
 the middle of Nowhere, but since his owners are too
 old to take him outside for walks, he only knows
 what's around his immediate property, and everything
 beyond that is nothing because he's never seen it.
 Game begins with
 curtain opening
 shadows on
 Blocks bolted to
 more shadows
 on skyline
 Exit stage right;
 end of set
 Platforms hanging La
 from roof, sticking
 out through slots in
 backdrop running
 via hidden machines
 behind set
 Super Mario Bros. 3 never happened
 It was all just a stage show. A play
 Mario was never once in any real danger
 You were merely the audience
lolzandtrollz:

Oh No, My Poor Childhood Memories
                    
                
            

            
                
                
lolzandtrollz:

Oh No, My Poor Childhood Memories

                
            
            
        

    



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            
            
        

    

    
    

        

            




    Bad, Community, and Crying: Emergency Jaw Sugery Fund
 Be the first to share
 Tweet
 Share
thats-tea:
thats-tea:

Everyone, a woman came to us on twitter to ask for help. We’ve seen her speak about her pain in the past few months of being on twitter. We told her to create a GoFundMe so the community could help and she was nervous to. If you could help her it would mean a lot, and would help her through something she’s been going through for a long time.
Here’s her post:
“Hello everyone! When I was born my jaw was significantly smaller than it should normally be and my mother was told by doctors that they should brake my jaw as an infant and add an implant so I wouldn’t have to worry about jaw problems in the future, my mother refused so that has what brought me to make this gofundme. I’m 21 years old and I provide for my family, I currently saved over 5,000 dollars by myself, recently I left my job for another opportunity and the other job opportunity ended up being horrible so I need this help more than ever. My jaw/teeth situation has gotten worse and worse in past months as my teeth are growing into my gums and it has effected my sleep and mental health, it’s gotten to the point where I get very bad lock jaw and can barley speak.The surgery itself is 7,600 dollars and in total with the hospital room and anesthesia its 9,910, I’ve already saved half of that.
Please help if you can, thank you so much for reading this.”
GoFundMe
It would mean a lot if you could donate anything you can. If you can’t that’s okay as well, you’d also be doing a lot if you shared. Thank you, and sorry for taking up your time.

We’ve personally donated $900. We helped her apply for an influencer job on twitter, and it’s looking like they’re going to accept her, so she’s scared to put her image there or would make the post directly on twitter. She’s nervous it might hurt her in getting the job, since she’s been out of a job for awhile, and she’s afraid if she misses this chance she’d continue being out of a job for a long time. We’ve been helping her get a new job because of the conditions she’s in
She’s extremely scared she’ll lose the opportunity if she’s seen by those checking her accounts that she’d lose this opportunity, and we tried to convince her.
Normally when people come to us and report they’re going through something, we pay their costs directly. Including rent, food, cellphone/electricity bills, among other things. So we’re constantly spending high hundreds to thousands a week/month. When it comes to situations when the person needs thousands, we can’t/don’t give directly thousands to one person, it prevents us from helping the others who comes to us for help with the money we set aside to help people. Normally take over a person’s problem by paying monthly if possible, if they could make that plan. we had her create this gofundme specifically because she was crying about jaw pain. If this doesn’t work, next month we’ll have money aside to pay for it completely. We had her make this GoFundMe specifically because physical pain was involved. If it doesn’t work here on tumblr, I’ll try and force her to have the post made on twitter/facebook since this is a matter of pain. 

We’ve also been helping with her living conditions which we’ll keep private.

 If she insists, next month we’ll set enough aside to personally pay her entire thing and ask her to just bear through it for this month.
Though we never make these posts, In the coming future we’ll be able to do even more for people and our budget limits will rise even more so we won’t ever have to ask the public. It’s only because it’s a current matter of physical pain, it would mean a lot if you can donate anything. 

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                
                    Bad, Community, and Crying: Emergency Jaw Sugery Fund
 Be the first to share
 Tweet
 Share
thats-tea:
thats-tea:

Everyone, a woman came to us on twitter to ask for help. We’ve seen her speak about her pain in the past few months of being on twitter. We told her to create a GoFundMe so the community could help and she was nervous to. If you could help her it would mean a lot, and would help her through something she’s been going through for a long time.
Here’s her post:
“Hello everyone! When I was born my jaw was significantly smaller than it should normally be and my mother was told by doctors that they should brake my jaw as an infant and add an implant so I wouldn’t have to worry about jaw problems in the future, my mother refused so that has what brought me to make this gofundme. I’m 21 years old and I provide for my family, I currently saved over 5,000 dollars by myself, recently I left my job for another opportunity and the other job opportunity ended up being horrible so I need this help more than ever. My jaw/teeth situation has gotten worse and worse in past months as my teeth are growing into my gums and it has effected my sleep and mental health, it’s gotten to the point where I get very bad lock jaw and can barley speak.The surgery itself is 7,600 dollars and in total with the hospital room and anesthesia its 9,910, I’ve already saved half of that.
Please help if you can, thank you so much for reading this.”
GoFundMe
It would mean a lot if you could donate anything you can. If you can’t that’s okay as well, you’d also be doing a lot if you shared. Thank you, and sorry for taking up your time.

We’ve personally donated $900. We helped her apply for an influencer job on twitter, and it’s looking like they’re going to accept her, so she’s scared to put her image there or would make the post directly on twitter. She’s nervous it might hurt her in getting the job, since she’s been out of a job for awhile, and she’s afraid if she misses this chance she’d continue being out of a job for a long time. We’ve been helping her get a new job because of the conditions she’s in
She’s extremely scared she’ll lose the opportunity if she’s seen by those checking her accounts that she’d lose this opportunity, and we tried to convince her.
Normally when people come to us and report they’re going through something, we pay their costs directly. Including rent, food, cellphone/electricity bills, among other things. So we’re constantly spending high hundreds to thousands a week/month. When it comes to situations when the person needs thousands, we can’t/don’t give directly thousands to one person, it prevents us from helping the others who comes to us for help with the money we set aside to help people. Normally take over a person’s problem by paying monthly if possible, if they could make that plan. we had her create this gofundme specifically because she was crying about jaw pain. If this doesn’t work, next month we’ll have money aside to pay for it completely. We had her make this GoFundMe specifically because physical pain was involved. If it doesn’t work here on tumblr, I’ll try and force her to have the post made on twitter/facebook since this is a matter of pain. 

We’ve also been helping with her living conditions which we’ll keep private.

 If she insists, next month we’ll set enough aside to personally pay her entire thing and ask her to just bear through it for this month.
Though we never make these posts, In the coming future we’ll be able to do even more for people and our budget limits will rise even more so we won’t ever have to ask the public. It’s only because it’s a current matter of physical pain, it would mean a lot if you can donate anything. 

                    
                
            

            
                
                
thats-tea:
thats-tea:

Everyone, a woman came to us on twitter to ask for help. We’ve seen her speak about her pain in the past few months o...

                
            
            
        

    



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            




    Bad, Community, and Family: Emergency Jaw Sugery Fund
 Be the first to share
 Tweet
 Share
thats-tea:
Everyone, a woman came to us on twitter to ask for help. We’ve seen her speak about her pain in the past few months of being on twitter. We told her to create a GoFundMe so the community could help and she was nervous to. If you could help her it would mean a lot, and would help her through something she’s been going through for a long time.
Here’s her post:
“Hello everyone! When I was born my jaw was significantly smaller than it should normally be and my mother was told by doctors that they should brake my jaw as an infant and add an implant so I wouldn’t have to worry about jaw problems in the future, my mother refused so that has what brought me to make this gofundme. I’m 21 years old and I provide for my family, I currently saved over 5,000 dollars by myself, recently I left my job for another opportunity and the other job opportunity ended up being horrible so I need this help more than ever. My jaw/teeth situation has gotten worse and worse in past months as my teeth are growing into my gums and it has effected my sleep and mental health, it’s gotten to the point where I get very bad lock jaw and can barley speak.The surgery itself is 7,600 dollars and in total with the hospital room and anesthesia its 9,910, I’ve already saved half of that.
Please help if you can, thank you so much for reading this.”
GoFundMe
It would mean a lot if you could donate anything you can. If you can’t that’s okay as well, you’d also be doing a lot if you shared. Thank you, and sorry for taking up your time.

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                
                    Bad, Community, and Family: Emergency Jaw Sugery Fund
 Be the first to share
 Tweet
 Share
thats-tea:
Everyone, a woman came to us on twitter to ask for help. We’ve seen her speak about her pain in the past few months of being on twitter. We told her to create a GoFundMe so the community could help and she was nervous to. If you could help her it would mean a lot, and would help her through something she’s been going through for a long time.
Here’s her post:
“Hello everyone! When I was born my jaw was significantly smaller than it should normally be and my mother was told by doctors that they should brake my jaw as an infant and add an implant so I wouldn’t have to worry about jaw problems in the future, my mother refused so that has what brought me to make this gofundme. I’m 21 years old and I provide for my family, I currently saved over 5,000 dollars by myself, recently I left my job for another opportunity and the other job opportunity ended up being horrible so I need this help more than ever. My jaw/teeth situation has gotten worse and worse in past months as my teeth are growing into my gums and it has effected my sleep and mental health, it’s gotten to the point where I get very bad lock jaw and can barley speak.The surgery itself is 7,600 dollars and in total with the hospital room and anesthesia its 9,910, I’ve already saved half of that.
Please help if you can, thank you so much for reading this.”
GoFundMe
It would mean a lot if you could donate anything you can. If you can’t that’s okay as well, you’d also be doing a lot if you shared. Thank you, and sorry for taking up your time.

                    
                
            

            
                
                
thats-tea:
Everyone, a woman came to us on twitter to ask for help. We’ve seen her speak about her pain in the past few months of being on t...

                
            
            
        

    



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            
            
        

    

    
    

        

            




    Definitely, Future, and Gif: Unproblematic and nice account
 @LovableAndKind
 My sister got creeped on and sexually harassed by a
 jiffy lube guy via text from his personal phone
 and....

 Message
 Today 3:16 PM
 You are gorgeous
 Who is this?
 Your favorite oil change guy
 The guy from Jiffy Lube?
 Yes ma'am
 I couldn't help but to let you know
 So I feel like this is a teachable
 moment for you. While I know you
 were wanting to give me a
 compliment, it was completely
 unnecessary and unsolicited. I am a

 customer, you are a service
 provider, and there should be no
 communication between us outside
 of that unless I, the customer
 express interest. I am married, we
 discussed this when I was talking
 about my car maintenance, so it can
 be assumed that I am not interested
 in any compliments/advances from
 you
 When you contacted me, I felt a
 little panicked because you went
 back in my file and got my number...
 I have other personal information,
 like my address, saved there as
 well. It is a violation of my privacy
 for you to contact me from your
 personal phone with information
 that you got without my permission.

 And now I know that you are the
 type of person to go back in
 someone's file to find their personal
 information, what is to keep you
 from going back and getting my
 address? There are men who stalk
 rape, and murder women by getting
 their information this way. For this
 reason, I assume there is a Jiffy
 Lube company policy that you are
 to never contact a patron on your
 personal cell phone for personal
 reasons
 So now I am in this predicament. I
 can choose to ignore your violation
 of my privacy and go to another
 company to avoid awkward
 interactions in the future (even
 though this is the place that I've

 been going to consistently for the
 past several years). Or I can contact
 your company HR and report this
 incident. Generally I am not in the
 business of ruining someone's
 livelihood over something as simple
 as this, but it is very important to
 me that you understand why it was
 completely inappropriate for you to
 contact me, or any other woman,
 without explicit consent. Capiche?
 Sorry about that yes ma'am
 Oh, and you didn't tell me what the
 tire pressure was on the rear
 passenger tire like l asked, so you
 are definitely not even in my top five
 favorite oil change guys.
mbaku-babygirl:

great-tweets:

“This is a teachable moment for you.”



She did that!!!! 

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                
                    Definitely, Future, and Gif: Unproblematic and nice account
 @LovableAndKind
 My sister got creeped on and sexually harassed by a
 jiffy lube guy via text from his personal phone
 and....

 Message
 Today 3:16 PM
 You are gorgeous
 Who is this?
 Your favorite oil change guy
 The guy from Jiffy Lube?
 Yes ma'am
 I couldn't help but to let you know
 So I feel like this is a teachable
 moment for you. While I know you
 were wanting to give me a
 compliment, it was completely
 unnecessary and unsolicited. I am a

 customer, you are a service
 provider, and there should be no
 communication between us outside
 of that unless I, the customer
 express interest. I am married, we
 discussed this when I was talking
 about my car maintenance, so it can
 be assumed that I am not interested
 in any compliments/advances from
 you
 When you contacted me, I felt a
 little panicked because you went
 back in my file and got my number...
 I have other personal information,
 like my address, saved there as
 well. It is a violation of my privacy
 for you to contact me from your
 personal phone with information
 that you got without my permission.

 And now I know that you are the
 type of person to go back in
 someone's file to find their personal
 information, what is to keep you
 from going back and getting my
 address? There are men who stalk
 rape, and murder women by getting
 their information this way. For this
 reason, I assume there is a Jiffy
 Lube company policy that you are
 to never contact a patron on your
 personal cell phone for personal
 reasons
 So now I am in this predicament. I
 can choose to ignore your violation
 of my privacy and go to another
 company to avoid awkward
 interactions in the future (even
 though this is the place that I've

 been going to consistently for the
 past several years). Or I can contact
 your company HR and report this
 incident. Generally I am not in the
 business of ruining someone's
 livelihood over something as simple
 as this, but it is very important to
 me that you understand why it was
 completely inappropriate for you to
 contact me, or any other woman,
 without explicit consent. Capiche?
 Sorry about that yes ma'am
 Oh, and you didn't tell me what the
 tire pressure was on the rear
 passenger tire like l asked, so you
 are definitely not even in my top five
 favorite oil change guys.
mbaku-babygirl:

great-tweets:

“This is a teachable moment for you.”



She did that!!!! 

                    
                
            

            
                
                
mbaku-babygirl:

great-tweets:

“This is a teachable moment for you.”



She did that!!!! 


                
            
            
        

    



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            



        

    

    
    
    

        

            




    Clothes, cnn.com, and Dumb: The Independent
 @Independent
 Here's what you should do in the
 event of a nuclear attack ind.pn/
 2piOhjW
 8/9/17, 3:19 PM

 NBC News
 @NBCNews
 NBC NEWS
 "Don't run. Get inside". What experts
 say to do in case of a nuclear attack
 nbcnews.to/2VNWTmt
 8/9/17, 9:30 AM

 CN
 CNN
 @CNN
 Hawaii is preparing in case of a North
 Korea attack. Experts say you have
 about 15 min. to take cover after a
 launch cnn.it/2upXdZ9
biggest-goldiest-spoon:

zoanzon:

missmwynter:

madlyinlov3onda:

oakenroots:

oakenroots:


quietrain:

shesheistyy:

tripprophet:


weavemama:

ladies and gentlemen we have officially reached the “in case a nuclear attack happens” phase……. [x]

This shit is wild.


Wtf a table finna do for anybody?? There’s basically nothing you can do but die

they’re doing this to give people a sense of safety , even though we full well know this won’t work at all.

ALRIGHT KIDDOS LISTEN UP! I did emergency management for the air force which involves this fun thing called Plume Modelling (aka chart the path of death for a given bomb based on its payload, distance, type of detonation, etc) and let me tell you some actual LEGIT™ methods of minimizing damage to your life. 
Unless you are within the vaporization zone (where you turn into a fucking shadow because of your proximity to the blast) there is a specific order of events nuke blasts cause and there are ways to protect against these things.

1. There is this thing called a flash to bang ratio. It is really freaking important. The first wave from a nuke is a blinding flash of light that can literally FRY YOUR RETINAS. If you believe that a nuke has just dropped on your city, HIDE AND DONT LOOK AT IT. @shesheistyy a good solid table is good for this but you’re way less likely to go blind if you get to an internal room with no windows, especially one below ground. 
2. After the flash there will be the bang. If the time between the flash and the bang, counted in Mississippi seconds, is more than 10 seconds you MIGHT survive and just die of cancer later. If it’s between five and 10 buckle up kiddos because the worst is yet to come. And well if it’s less than 3 you won’t live long enough to remember this. These are loose estimates only. 
3. The “bang” usually announces the arrival of the fire ball. Yes. A massive heat shock will erupt from the core of the bomb and light pretty much every thing it comes into contact with, including your flesh, on fire. Back to that whole “metal buildings underground” thing. There’s really no getting around the whole getting lit on fire if you’re too close thing. 
4. Fallout. When the bomb goes off it sucks all of the shit it just vaporized up into the air with it and as the blast cools, it begins to rain down the radioactive fucked molten wreckage onto everyone in a huge radius. Just because the fallout you can see has stopped doesn’t mean the molecular radiation has stopped. 

The survival factors for nuclear blasts are time, distance and shielding. The longer it takes for it to get to you the less of it there is. The further away from the source the less dead you are. Want to survive? Put 6 feet of concrete and/or 2 feet of lead between you and everything else. Yes. Those loons with their bunkers actually got something right. 

NOW! About radiation! If you are so fortunate as to survive one of these blasts and not be vaporized or burnt to a crisp or die of radiation poisoning within hours, you need to understand the types of radiation. 

Gamma radiation is the most “severe” in that it can penetrate your flesh through your clothes and house, causing severe illness. Gamma radiation fucks with your cell walls and disrupts your DNA. It kills you in hours, months or years. Some people survive decades. Think of gamma like the sun. Too much exposure gives you cancer. 

Now Beta, on the other hand, think of Beta particles like sand on the beach. Its in the air. Its in your clothes, in the creases of your fingers. But beta particles can burn through your flesh or get into your blood stream through open wounds. Luckily they can be stopped with nonporous materials, like rubber, or foil. Make that two points for the loony conspiracy theorists. Aluminum foil does protect from beta radiation. 

And finally, Alpha radiation. Think of alpha Radiation like dust motes. It takes a high density filter to prevent you from breathing them in and if you’re surrounded by rubble they’re probably everywhere. Alpha particles do the same thing as beta particles in terms of getting into your system and wrecking your shit. 

So! Survival? Most likely based on dumb luck. But! If you think you’re being nuked
1. get under ground or at least to an internal room of the building if no other options are available. 
2. CLOSE YOUR EYES. Curl into the fetal position to protect your orifices and vital organs from gamma radiation and get low to the ground to reduce damage from the blast and potential ceiling collapse. 
3.You will still feel the flash pass over you. Count. One, two, three… If you aren’t vaporized yet keep counting. Pray to every god ever imagined that you get to 10 before you hear the bang. 
4. Bang. Try not to shit yourself. The fireball will follow almost instantly if you’re in range. Be prepared to start rolling to put yourself out. 
5. Fallout rains down. Do not open your eyes. Do not stop praying. As hard as it is because time will feel as if it has slowed to a crawl, try not to leave your position for at least 30 minutes, although 60 minutes is better. At 30 minutes, only 60% of the potential fall out has fallen but by 60 minutes, up to 90% may have come down. 
6. Remember, Alpha and beta radiation are particles. Do not put anything in your body that has not been thoroughly washed, dusted of or came from a sealed package. Point 3 for the conspiracy theorists, hot pockets and canned food are probably still safe. Do not leave shelter without goggles, and try to wrap yourself in a minimum of those weird space blankets but rubber and metal lined suits (like hazmat suits) are best for the job. 

Good luck in the future apocalypse!


Reblogged with improved readability!

Look whats Relevant again…


I wonder if there’s any where to watch White Light, Black Rain. Saw it back in highschool.

History repeats and all that jazz.
After all, It’s not like ‘duck and cover’ and other nuclear protection methods of dubious quality weren’t a mainstream in the Cold War or anything…
We’ve been here before.
It’s just the first time around for us younger crowd.


Stay safe. 

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                
                    Clothes, cnn.com, and Dumb: The Independent
 @Independent
 Here's what you should do in the
 event of a nuclear attack ind.pn/
 2piOhjW
 8/9/17, 3:19 PM

 NBC News
 @NBCNews
 NBC NEWS
 "Don't run. Get inside". What experts
 say to do in case of a nuclear attack
 nbcnews.to/2VNWTmt
 8/9/17, 9:30 AM

 CN
 CNN
 @CNN
 Hawaii is preparing in case of a North
 Korea attack. Experts say you have
 about 15 min. to take cover after a
 launch cnn.it/2upXdZ9
biggest-goldiest-spoon:

zoanzon:

missmwynter:

madlyinlov3onda:

oakenroots:

oakenroots:


quietrain:

shesheistyy:

tripprophet:


weavemama:

ladies and gentlemen we have officially reached the “in case a nuclear attack happens” phase……. [x]

This shit is wild.


Wtf a table finna do for anybody?? There’s basically nothing you can do but die

they’re doing this to give people a sense of safety , even though we full well know this won’t work at all.

ALRIGHT KIDDOS LISTEN UP! I did emergency management for the air force which involves this fun thing called Plume Modelling (aka chart the path of death for a given bomb based on its payload, distance, type of detonation, etc) and let me tell you some actual LEGIT™ methods of minimizing damage to your life. 
Unless you are within the vaporization zone (where you turn into a fucking shadow because of your proximity to the blast) there is a specific order of events nuke blasts cause and there are ways to protect against these things.

1. There is this thing called a flash to bang ratio. It is really freaking important. The first wave from a nuke is a blinding flash of light that can literally FRY YOUR RETINAS. If you believe that a nuke has just dropped on your city, HIDE AND DONT LOOK AT IT. @shesheistyy a good solid table is good for this but you’re way less likely to go blind if you get to an internal room with no windows, especially one below ground. 
2. After the flash there will be the bang. If the time between the flash and the bang, counted in Mississippi seconds, is more than 10 seconds you MIGHT survive and just die of cancer later. If it’s between five and 10 buckle up kiddos because the worst is yet to come. And well if it’s less than 3 you won’t live long enough to remember this. These are loose estimates only. 
3. The “bang” usually announces the arrival of the fire ball. Yes. A massive heat shock will erupt from the core of the bomb and light pretty much every thing it comes into contact with, including your flesh, on fire. Back to that whole “metal buildings underground” thing. There’s really no getting around the whole getting lit on fire if you’re too close thing. 
4. Fallout. When the bomb goes off it sucks all of the shit it just vaporized up into the air with it and as the blast cools, it begins to rain down the radioactive fucked molten wreckage onto everyone in a huge radius. Just because the fallout you can see has stopped doesn’t mean the molecular radiation has stopped. 

The survival factors for nuclear blasts are time, distance and shielding. The longer it takes for it to get to you the less of it there is. The further away from the source the less dead you are. Want to survive? Put 6 feet of concrete and/or 2 feet of lead between you and everything else. Yes. Those loons with their bunkers actually got something right. 

NOW! About radiation! If you are so fortunate as to survive one of these blasts and not be vaporized or burnt to a crisp or die of radiation poisoning within hours, you need to understand the types of radiation. 

Gamma radiation is the most “severe” in that it can penetrate your flesh through your clothes and house, causing severe illness. Gamma radiation fucks with your cell walls and disrupts your DNA. It kills you in hours, months or years. Some people survive decades. Think of gamma like the sun. Too much exposure gives you cancer. 

Now Beta, on the other hand, think of Beta particles like sand on the beach. Its in the air. Its in your clothes, in the creases of your fingers. But beta particles can burn through your flesh or get into your blood stream through open wounds. Luckily they can be stopped with nonporous materials, like rubber, or foil. Make that two points for the loony conspiracy theorists. Aluminum foil does protect from beta radiation. 

And finally, Alpha radiation. Think of alpha Radiation like dust motes. It takes a high density filter to prevent you from breathing them in and if you’re surrounded by rubble they’re probably everywhere. Alpha particles do the same thing as beta particles in terms of getting into your system and wrecking your shit. 

So! Survival? Most likely based on dumb luck. But! If you think you’re being nuked
1. get under ground or at least to an internal room of the building if no other options are available. 
2. CLOSE YOUR EYES. Curl into the fetal position to protect your orifices and vital organs from gamma radiation and get low to the ground to reduce damage from the blast and potential ceiling collapse. 
3.You will still feel the flash pass over you. Count. One, two, three… If you aren’t vaporized yet keep counting. Pray to every god ever imagined that you get to 10 before you hear the bang. 
4. Bang. Try not to shit yourself. The fireball will follow almost instantly if you’re in range. Be prepared to start rolling to put yourself out. 
5. Fallout rains down. Do not open your eyes. Do not stop praying. As hard as it is because time will feel as if it has slowed to a crawl, try not to leave your position for at least 30 minutes, although 60 minutes is better. At 30 minutes, only 60% of the potential fall out has fallen but by 60 minutes, up to 90% may have come down. 
6. Remember, Alpha and beta radiation are particles. Do not put anything in your body that has not been thoroughly washed, dusted of or came from a sealed package. Point 3 for the conspiracy theorists, hot pockets and canned food are probably still safe. Do not leave shelter without goggles, and try to wrap yourself in a minimum of those weird space blankets but rubber and metal lined suits (like hazmat suits) are best for the job. 

Good luck in the future apocalypse!


Reblogged with improved readability!

Look whats Relevant again…


I wonder if there’s any where to watch White Light, Black Rain. Saw it back in highschool.

History repeats and all that jazz.
After all, It’s not like ‘duck and cover’ and other nuclear protection methods of dubious quality weren’t a mainstream in the Cold War or anything…
We’ve been here before.
It’s just the first time around for us younger crowd.


Stay safe.