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Bluetooth, Bored, and Cars: . Verizon LTE 12:09 PM a houston.craigslist.org image 1 of 23 TEXAS BNL-2934 You want a car that gets the job done? You want a car that's hassle free? You want a car that literally no one will ever compliment you on? Well look no further. The 1999 Toyota Corolla Let's talk about features Bluetooth: nope Sunroof: nope Fancy wheels: nope Rear view camera: nope...but it's got a transparent rear window and you have a fucking neck that can turn Let me tell you a story. One day my Corolla started making a strange sound. I didn't give a shit and ignored it. It went away. The End You could take the engine out of this car, drop it off the Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the water a thousand years later, put it in the trunk of the car, fill the gas tank up with Nutella, turn the key, and this puppy would fucking start right This car will outlive you, it will outlive your children Things this car is old enough to do: Vote: yes Consent to sex: ves Rent a car: it IS a car This car's got history. It's seen some shit. People have done straight things in this car. People have done gay things ın this car. It's not going to judge you like a fucking Volkswagen would Interesting facts This car's exterior color is gray, but it's interior color is grey In the owner's manual, oil is listed as "optional." When this car was unveiled at the 1998 Detroit Auto Show, it caused all 2,000 attendees to spontaneously yawn. The resulting abrupt change in air pressure inside the building caused a partial collapse of the roof. Four people died. The event is chronicled in the documentary "Bored to Death: The Story of the 1999 Tovota Corolla" You wanna know more? Great, I had my car fill out a Facebook survey. Favorite food: spaghetti Favorite tv show: Alf Favorite band: tie between Bush and the Gin Blossoms This car is as practical as a Roth IRA. It's as middle-of-the- road as your grandpa during his last Silver Alert. It's as utilitarian as a member of a church whose scripture is based entirely on water bills When I ran the CarFax for this car, I got back a single piece of paper that said, "It's a Corolla. It's fine." Let's face the facts, this car isn't going to win any beauty contests, but neither are you. Stop lying to yourself and stop lying to your wife. This isn't the car you want, it's the car you deserve: The fucking 1999 Toyota Corolla. Whit Bayou BWa catchymemes: This man knows how to sell a car

catchymemes: This man knows how to sell a car

Bluetooth, Bored, and Cars: x 0 42%. 12:29 Toyota Avalon-cars & truc. https://louisville.craigslist.org Toyota Avalon - $1800 (Louisville, KY) image 1 of 6 "You want a car that gets the job done? You want a car that's hassle free? You want a car that literally literally no one will ever compliment you on? Well look no ther willever compliment you on? further The 1999 Toyota Avalon. Let's talk about features. Bluetooth: nope 101. 42%. 12:30 Aux cord: nope Fancv wheels: nope Rear view camera: nope...but it's got a transparent rear window and you have a fucking neck that can turn Let me tell you a story. One day it started making a strange sound. I didn't give a shit and ignored it. It went away. The End You could take the engine out of this car, drop it off the Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the watera thousand years later, put it in the trunk of the car, fill the gas tank up with Nutella, turn the key, and this puppy would fucking start right ujp This car will outlive you, it will outlive your children Things this car is old enough to do: Vote: yes Consent to sex: ves Rent a car: it IS a car This car's got history. It's seen some shit. People have done straight things in this car. People have done gay things in this car. It's not going to judge you like a fucking Volkswagen would Interesting facts This car's exterior color is gray, but it's interior color is grey. 10. 42%. 12:30 Toyota Avalon - cars & truc... https://louisville.craigslist.org color is grey. In the owner's manual, oll is listed as"optional. When this car was unveiled at the Detroit Auto Show, it caused all 2,000 attendees to spontaneously yawn. The resulting abrupt change in air pressure inside the building caused a partial collapse of the roof. Four people died. The event is chronicled in the documentarv "Bored to Death: The Story of the 1999 Toyota Avalon" You wanna know more? Great, I had my car fill out a Facebook survev Favorite food: spaghetti Favorite tv show: Alf Favorite band: tie between Bush and the Gin Blossoms This car is as practical as a Roth IRA. It's as middle- of-the-road as your grandpa during his last Silver Alert, It's as utilitarian as a member of a church whose scripture is based entirely on water bills. When I ran the CarFax for this car, I got back a single piece of paper that said, "It's a Toyota. It's fine." Let's face the facts, this car isn't going to win any beauty contests, but neither are you. Stop lying to yourself and stop lying to your wife. This isn't the car you want, it's the car you deserve: The fucking 1999 Tovota Avalon." This Craigslist car ad doesn't care about what you want. It knows what you need.

This Craigslist car ad doesn't care about what you want. It knows what you need.

Bless Up, Dude, and Gym: These doggos are true bros until the end of time @DrSmashlove Reddit u/beesbuzzlots Every time I’m at the gym bruv it’s at least one “golf bro” there. U know this dude because he be doing oddly specific asf workouts 🤔. Oddly specific stretches. Arm swings that vaguely resemble a golf swing. But the key giveaway that Chadwick is a certified golf bro is he rocking that Titleist brand cap. U feel me? Like that’s him saying: “u peasants are here to look big in a t-shirt. I lift so I can add 10 yards to my drive ☺️.” (Side note I’ve been golfing for two years now bc I have to (for work) and the reason I do it rarely is bc u have to put in hours every wknd to yield modest improvements in ya game and I got better things to do on wknds like look at memes and take depression naps 🤗😂). Now then. Seeing all these Titleist caps got me thinking: Why isn’t this a word? Like this should be a thing. “Susan if I do say so myself you are looking delightfully Titlè today. Oh of course! No I mean it! Just fulsome and perky. Are you on your red river by chance(?) Yes? How did I guess? LOL you’re silly Susan. Just a wild premonition ☺️. Have an awesome day ❤️.” U feel me? “Erica! My goodness! U are looking Titlèier than I’ve ever seen before. That bathing suit can barely hold you lol! No, thank YOU! Your Titlèiness has made this trip to the pool absolutely worth my while!” U feel me? Like how could someone feel offended by being called Titlè? It’s such a delicate, gracious word! “Samantha I’m gonna be frank. You know I have zero filter LOL so here goes - bombs away ☺️. I’ve dated some wonderfully Titlè women before. Really. Just shapely and awesome. But you’re the Titlèist. Yes. YES. Don’t debate me on this SAMANTHA 😂. No YOU stop! Oh now you’re blushing ... LIKE NOBODY’S EVER CALLED YOU TITLÈ BEFORE I MEAN YOU’RE WEARING A SHEER TOP IT’S NOT LIKE YOU’RE TRYING TO HIDE YOUR TITLÈIOSITY 😂.” Titlèism = the study of mammaries. Titlèness = an abundance of mammarical wondrousness. U feel me? It’s 2018. Let’s make this a word. BLESS UP 😍😂😂😂 (pic: @gamzeilefelix)

Every time I’m at the gym bruv it’s at least one “golf bro” there. U know this dude because he be doing oddly specific asf workouts 🤔. Oddly...